You are being manipulated and you may not even know how.
This will tell you.
Beat the narcissist and know their machinations.

16 thoughts on “Manipulated

  1. Insatiable Learner says:

    Thank you very much, HG! I know you said you didn’t really care about us but we do care about you. I know I do. Thank you for being there for us. Sometimes I feel like I know you. You know like a friend, someone I actually have a personal relationship with.

    1. HG Tudor says:

      You are welcome IL.

  2. Insatiable Learner says:

    Thank you very much, HG! There was another IPSS who became the primary source once the wife was discarded. However, I think I was the epitome of compliance and adoration, so I can’t imagine I stepped out of line. I did ask him about being distant at times but always did so respectfully. Also, when I learned about the new girlfriend, I threatened to walk away but quickly retracted and stayed. Every time we have spoken since then, we have been friendly and warm and I have continued to be complimentary and adoring. Additionally, most of the behavior I spoke about had happened before me threatening to walk away, so it would not have been induced by that incident. Right now he has been preoccupied with his new primary source and from what I understand, while in the golden period, a narcissist’s sole focus is on the new IPPS, and it’s not until her devaluation begins that he may start hoovering and re-engaging with IPSS or DSIPSS. Is this accurate?

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Correct IL. Seems to me that he was testing you with those behaviours rather than devaluing.

  3. Insatiable Learner says:

    Dear HG, I have just finished Black Flag. Absolutely fascinating! You are a brilliant writer! I would appreciate your help with understanding something. I actually experienced vacillation-type behaviours and broken promises, including failure to call when he said he would, forgetting about a date, not following through with a birthday present, plans, etc. The book says these behaviours commence when devaluation begins. However, you said in your articles that IPSS or DSIPSS are rarely devalued. How should I view and interpret these behaviors?

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Thank you IL I am pleased you found it interesting Devaluation is rare but it can happen with the IPSS or DSIPSS. Either you were being devalued because you had stepped out of line or he was testing you to see how you would respond to gauge your suitability to be a primary source. If it was devaluation, another IPSS was probably being courted for promotion.

  4. The Punisher says:

    Reading now. Thank you again, you’ve gone above and beyond.

  5. Insatiable Learner says:

    Thank you very much for the insight! He even said I was very special to him. I did bind to him all right! Thanks again! On to the next book!

  6. Insatiable Learner says:

    Thank you, HG. So basically, him saying “I want you in my life forever” is simply stating something that’s already a given, correct?

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Correct but it also done to make you feel special so you bind to him.

  7. Insatiable Learner says:

    Have just finished Decipher. Couldn’t put it down. Superb expository writing! Even as a IPSS/DSIPSS, I heard and recognized several of the statements you covered. My narc told me, “I want you in my life forever.” Is this one similar to “I want to be with you forever”? Does the unspoken but implied contract you talk about apply to secondary sources like IPSS and DSIPSS or only to the IPPS?

    1. HG Tudor says:

      It applies to the IPSS and DSIPSS too.

  8. Insatiable Learner says:

    Excellent! I will add these titles to my reading list. Thank you very much for your prompt response. My weekend is indeed going very well. As always, you are greatly appreciated!

    1. HG Tudor says:

      You are welcome.

  9. Insatiable Learner says:

    Hello, HG. Hope you are enjoying your weekend. I have read several of your books, like Sitting Target, Sex and the Narcissist, Fuel, The Devil’s Kit, Exorcism. Naturally, some of them are more applicable to an IPPS. Which ones would you recommend for an IPSS or DSIPSS? Thank you!

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Hello IL, I am thank you, much going on at present. I trust your weekend is enjoyable. Thank you for reading. I would suggest Fury, Black Flag, Your Fault and Decipher.

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