The Narcissistic Truths – No. 65

you-use-logici-call-you-crazy

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87 thoughts on “The Narcissistic Truths – No. 65”

  1. ABB lol great suggestions and I agree, HG would definitely be amazing at this to.

    Lol HG your book was my first, sorry i find this amusing this morning.

    TP you should read this and Indy very welcome. I am impatient thou waiting for his next is killing me slowly

    1. DFA, I’m ready to read it now. Will the next book be Awakened?
      ABB thanks for making me laugh. Maybe I will try the consult this afternoon.

      1. TP if your talking about talking with HG privately, i would recommend it.
        I have and it was easier having a conversation with him vs here or emails.

      2. DFA, I was super reluctant at first, but the idea is sure starting to grow on me. Can you handle it, H?

      3. Punisher I do understand where you are coming from thou. It took me a long time thinking about it to. HG is so easy to talk with thou.

  2. TP,
    You will enjoy sex and the narcissist. HG should write more adult content novels (yes S&theN is in the Amazon adult section). Why don’t I start you off with a few titles…..
    Red panties Revelry
    Elite. The story of a Narcissistic Escort.
    Fuel by F*cking.
    Deflowered and Devoured a Narcissist guide to ( well it’s obvious)
    Adore the Whore
    50 Sexy Things to Always Say to a Narcissist
    Grind and Giggle
    YES!
    YES! Again
    Make Direct Contact: Vocal Inflections To Enhance Phone Sex
    Influence My Sphere!
    Push, Pull, Penetrate
    Bondage and Black Lace
    Masked: Role Play with the Narcissist
    Smear: Body Painting with the Narcissist
    Roses and Rope
    Lips, Lies and Thighs
    Devil and Demons: A Narcissists Guide to Threesomes
    Faking It
    Private Consult

    1. He he he ABB,
      Your dirty wit is delicious. May I add, “Discard those Panties”

      Hi Punisher,
      I highly recommend the book and I have only gotten through half. It is certainly enjoyable for the obvious reasons (HG writes wonderfully and is very seductive and sensual) though I must say it is really an important read too, from understanding the narcissist. It is quite deep(pun and no pun). I particularly enjoy the level of detail of his internal process of what sex is for the narcissist while walking through a sexual encounter.

      HG, I also appreciate your addressing of sexual fluidity in this book. It is far more fluid in narcissists than I previously realized. It is a topic I enjoy discussing as I feel many people have a hard time understanding the spectrum of sexual orientation and how that is not always the same as overt sexual expression. I can see why you refer to this book as one of the Pillars in understanding narcissism. It is indeed. And I still need to read the other half.

      After reading the first half, I am thinking my most recent ex is closer to a hybrid of being more a mid-range elite with more cerebral tendencies though still more sexual than how the classic cerebrals are defined. Is that possible? Indeed, he is/was very smart and he was also fairly good in bed. He was very willing to explore many things (many I initiated, sure) and if that was not the case, I would not have been able to be so attracted and addicted to him. One of the most significant pains in the relationship was when he pulled away sexually and did not come to bed when I went to bed. It was scheduled and no longer spontaneous.

      Also, he slipped during our very last conversation, and said something that suggests he may have had past experience with escorts(again, makes me think he is more elite now). After I had said to him something his mother shared with me about him about treatment, he said “You cannot believe a word that woman says about me. She is crazy. She once said I was sleeping with prostitutes. She is nuts.” Mind you, she is a MatriNarc, so who the heck knows what is true in that mix, though it might have been purposeful to see if I would react. Which I didn’t. That was my “Boy, Bye. Don’t call me unless you want the police on your tush” phone call. I did just discover that he looked up my work profile over the last week. So, still watching me.

      Looking forward to reading the rest of the book tonight. Still simmering in my mind various things you wrote about in the book and most likely will take a second read to sink in deeper. Excellent recommendation, HG.

      1. “Discard those Panties” Indy? And you were the one calling me “Spicy” yesterday? Okay. Haha – jk

      2. Hahahaha, MLA
        Goodness, I forgot about that comment. Yes, I am spicy too. Takes one to know one 🙂 I wrote that comment after I read Sex and the Narcissist. And somehow skipped over the scrap book…..like many others lol.

      3. Am I reading out of context in my email or are you suggesting I’m a narc Clarece? I’ve tested myself several times in the past. I’m a very high healthy level thank you. 😉

      4. Oh goodness no, not at all. I was saying that to Indy for her calling me “Spicy” yesterday on a somewhat racy statement. Completely in fun!! So sorry for confusing you.

      5. Omg Clarece I though I was reading a completely different thread! My bad!

        Aw Indy! You’re such a beautiful soul as well! I hope every single one of you finds your wings and can be free from all of this for good!! Trust me, it’s way better 💖

      6. Indy oh how I’ve missed you! I’ll only be reading as needed from here on out. My life outside of all this narc business is way more pleasant 😉

      7. Hi Punisher!
        I was wondering about you and missed you too! I am soooo glad your life is filled with some joy!!! I will miss seeing you around and I understand too! I hope to continue to hear how you’re doing out there!!! We all have to eventually find our wings and life outside of here ❤️

        You are a beautiful soul, hold that strong spirit you have a head held high☺️

  3. I had to put sex and the narcissit down twice, it usually takes me about an hour to read 1 of his books that one 4.
    Once I picked up fuel I was hooked, crazy thing is I hadnt picked up a book in 7 years. Lost all intrest in reading.
    HG has brought my love for reading back and many answers.
    Many many thanks HG!

  4. I really need to slow down my reading 🙁 waiting for a new book is killlllllliing me HG.

    I have never thought of myself as crazy, my thoughts were different. I knew I was different then them. I have seen what crazy is and how they did it to this person.

  5. Heartbroken, I do highly recommend Sitting Target and also Fuel by HG that will help you understand more about each variation of narcissists and what drives them

      1. Which ones are you starting with Punisher? Which ones have you already read? I got to read some more by XMas too.

      2. Indy, I’ve read Revenge (my fav) and Decipher. I’m currently enjoying Manipulated. Up next, Fuel.

      3. Ooooo Evil is a goody! First one I read, it was my introduction to HG. I thought, Jesus this man is scary and brilliant…let me read more! Gonna head home and cuddle up with some coffee, cozy blankets, my killer kitty and this Sex and the Narcissist book.

      4. I have two weeks off during Christmas and my agenda is filled with reading more of HG’s work, and I can’t wait!!! These damn Narcs get us addicted one way or another, but I’m all for being addicted to everything HG has to say :).

      5. Something I’ve always been addicted to, H. Knowledge is the best. No wonder I like your kind so much..always having to figure you out….

  6. Whoaaa whoaaa….Sam is saying his IQ is 180??? HAHAHHAHAHAHAH

    OK, part of my day work as a diagnostician is measuring IQ’s amongst other things. It is not possible to get a 180. He is full of it.

    Yes, a voice off it is! ***aka David Bowie style from Zoolander.

      1. Indeed, you got that Blue Steel. Just no gasoline fights!!
        Now, Stephen Hawking supposedly has an IQ of 160. Do you think he is a narcissist?
        Don’t go messing with my IQ hero’s now…LOL

      2. Yay! Yes, Stephen Hawkins….And he has a cool vehicle too! All he needs is to get some good rims!! And, I do not doubt he is closer than any of us to some time machine LOL

  7. And everyone still thinks I am crazy. Everyone from exes side and my friends and family.
    But there’s no one who thinks she crazy.
    I tell people eveyday that I’m not! At least I believe it and that’s all that counts.
    It’s so messed up.

      1. You are wonderful Indy and so is everyone here.
        My therapist is getting a lot better. This blog has now become an instrument that we use in therapy. She loves HG’s memes. She found them exceptional and fascinating.

        And I did quote you on Saturday in my session. Lol… I liked when you wrote about therapy not being easy. You don’t get enough out of it if you don’t put in all the hard work and working on things that are difficult. I know there are things I like to talk about and things I don’t. And it’s the difficult topics that will move me forward,
        Thanks Indy❤️🍎❤️

      2. Awwwww, SW. I am so glad you and your therapist are finding a way to use HG’s work in your work. And, thank you for the compliment of quoting me. I know my personal therapy is best when I work hard….and I do best in therapy as a therapist when I ALLOW my clients to work hard and not do the work for them. It can be hard, as a therapist, to step back and let your client struggle a little bit to find their own wisdom….and IT IS THERE> NEVER DOUBT YOURSELF!!!

        Hugssss and Apples to ya!
        ~Indy~

      3. I love your words of wisdom Indy and appreciate all of your advice.
        i have learned a lot from you.

    1. I know it’s easier said than done, but SW, you only need to believe in yourself. The ones that don’t believe you, probably should be excluded from your life anyway. You’re strong, not crazy! 🙂

      1. Thanks for saying that Braveheart. It means a lot.
        I quit talking to several people but that’s ok, I’m enjoying some alone time.

  8. Revenge isn’t what I want.
    He’d destroy me if I tried revenge!!
    He’s evil remember!
    No…..I just want him to fail.
    I wont be giving him any further fuel. It hasn’t bothered him going without my fuel up to now so how would it impact him (if at all?) considering he is all loved up elsewhere?

      1. So what is the best response if his new romance fails and he ever saw me….
        Polite conversation?
        Indifference?
        Totally blank him?
        Thank him for making my life better without him?!!
        What would piss him off most HG?
        Also is he most likely to try and reconnect with me due to our long history together or is likely to target insignificant past supply that he may of had short dalliances with?
        Do narcissists experience real jealousy of their exes being romantically involved after they departed/discarded you?
        Xx

      2. Ignore him.

        If you escape us and find someone else, we are jealous because you belong to us.
        If we discard you and you find someone else, we will to preoccupied with the new primary source to care about what you are doing. It will only be when the new primary source is devalued that we will then exhibit our jealousy about your new partner/love interest. A lesser or mid range may be put off hoovering because of it (see 10 Hoover Hurdles) and a Greater will rub his hands together at the prospects of dual fuel.

  9. Lol I understand this but why would you tell your IP this?
    He never call me crazy at least not to my face. Yet always told me to use logic

  10. HG, Is there a “cure” for narc?
    I mean, If they really want to change, is it possible or eventually it will all come back even with the good intentions of trying to change and have a healthy relationship without needing the game/fuel?
    Would a narc need a specisl therapy for that or could do by their own?
    Thank you!

    1. Hello Heartbroken, if there is such a cure nobody has told me about it.
      We do not want to change. The Lesser and the Mid-Range do not know what they are, thus why would they change.
      The greater knows but I see no reason to do so. Yet, as I have stated previously.

      There is no way it could be done alone.

      1. Thank you HG!
        I was gonna ask you exactly that.. if they have the conscious that they are narcisists with evil beahvior, like the stages in everything. I need to read more about the differences because it seems there are different types of narc right? Lesser, greater etc.
        So you guys are basically incapable of loving someone? Or if let’s say a stunning super model like a dream girl comes along and you get infatuated. Would you still treat her the same way? I wonder if this beahvior woud be just to some people who narc beahvior gets worse when they are not so into the person they have a relationship with or if it’: exactly the same no matter how the other person is

      2. Yes there are three schools – Lesser, Mid Range and Greater, plus four cadres Elite, Somatic, Cerebral and Victim. Sitting Target is a useful start along with a lot of the material on the blog. There will be individual books concerning each school and cadre in due course.
        Everybody is treated the same way HB because all is as the fuel demands it to be.

  11. Your posts are so often presient for me. Just had this one happen this weekend! Thank you again for your insights. They are amazingly helpful.

  12. This is so very true.
    It is a head wreck.
    I was called paranoid and nuts for years.
    They would prefer to have you in the nuthouse than let you be right.

    HG what is your opinion on Sam Vaknins work?

    1. I have only read a small amount after his name had been mentioned a number of times. He clearly knows what he is talking about and approaches it from a more scientific/esoteric psychological perspective. I find it more rewarding to communicate my observations in a different fashion which i regard as more accessible.

      I have the better voice.

      1. You do have the better voice 😉 (A young hitch like ive previously stated)!! And although I have watched and read sams work for years, I consider you to be far more interesting and enjoy learning from you much more.
        You are the master HG x

        Is there anyway of making my ex regret discarding me?
        What am I best doing HG? Xx

      2. Funnily enough although I know of Christopher Hitchens I had not listened to him. In the early hours of this morning as I was writing, I was listening to him and I can see why you identified the similarity. I am not him, nor he me, for the avoidance of doubt.

        Thank you for your kind comment.

        He won’t regret discarding you, we do not do regret. You either ensure you provide no fuel going forward or you seek Revenge (if appropriate) as per my book.

      3. His work is very good. But he is a cerebral (I feel sorry for his wife considering the implications), and he presents issues in a more scientific, matter-of-fact style. Your language is vivid, and you use metaphors, therefore, the messages are more powerful.

      4. Absolutely: every contribution matters. I never wanted to learn any of this, but this is my path now… and I am grateful for walking through life with eyes wide open 🙂

      5. Cerebrals are boring. I’ve been with a couple. They were as fun as watching the fishing channel. No one is better than Mr. Tudor.
        I bet when Sam Vaknins says ‘hug’ panties don’t drop.

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