Hi HG Tudor, thanks! I really need help.My Narc & I was together for 5 years, brojen up for 2. I only saw him 2×’s in thist time period. Emotionally tirn to pieces. I wabt to be done & over rhis
Hello Everyone, I am knew this site & I am so grateful I stumbled upon this blog because I am still struggling with the effects of Narcissistic abuse. I’ve been abused physically, emotionally, mentally-hit, devalued with words, really mistreated. However, I played a part in this entire situation. He discarded me for someone else, but still attempts to contact me. I went no contact 30 days ago but he contacts me via email, keeps asking me to call him but I don’t respond. I still cry at times, trying to forgive myself for allowing someone to mistreat me! I was a sucks, really allowed him to have total control over me. Wow!
Hello Erica, welcome on board. You will now have the information which will help you understand and make sense of what has happened to you which will set you on the path to freedom.
Twas the night before christmas and all through the house
Not a creature was stirring not even Narc spouse
The stockings were hung by the chimney with care
In hopes that the morning would still find them there
The two of us nestled all snug in our bed
When the asshole decides to turn peace to dread
He turns to me solemnly, says I must go
To another location you bother me so
Then all at once he is up in a clatter
Says he has to attend to a most pressing matter
Downstairs he saunters and acting quite brash
Puts his hand to my wallet to rummage for cash
Where the hell are the car keys he bellows below
While I roll my eyes upward and scream I dont know!
Just like you to lose them he snorts with derision
Like he needs an excuse to have made this decision
The one that will leave me alone with my thoughts
While he visits his favorite of Narc hunting spots
He’ll be gone until morning if history repeats
If he’s back before then- well hold on to your seats.
I used to fulfill him but now I’m in pain
As he often rebuffs me and treats with disdain
And me? i still love him and hope for a future
Though a more likely outcome a cut and a suture
I wont give up easy- its in me to give
And a world thats without him not worth it to live
For I know that my love can heal all thats wrong
If he’d only succumb to my empathic song
The one where I sing to that sweet little boy
Whos stuck in a man like the most broken toy
And i know when I free him all will be well
And he’ll see that his life doesnt have to be hell
No need for facade, construct, or cage
To imprison his feelings of deep shame and rage
But I know in my heart he doesnt want healed
Or his thoughts laid exposed and his secrets revealed.
And Im kidding myself -I know it down deep
As my eyes finally close and I drift off to sleep
I awaken soon after, turn over to see
That he’s back here beside me right where he should be
And my heart skips a beat that he’s still in my bed
But I know what my heart cannot tell my head
That he sleeps like a child and I hope he sleeps well
Because when awakens I’m right back in hell……
This is making me thankful that my ex didn’t lay a hand on me. She liked to make people think she was tough and not to mess with her or what was hers but I was never at the end of her fist.
I’m sorry for anyone who had to experience this.
She favored using her words to hurt and manipulate.
Every abuser has the potential to become violent. Another sign that we are regarded as objects and inferiors. The holidays are particularly hard for those with narcicists in their lives. Narcicists often will become antsy because it is a celebration that doesn’t revolve around them and often involves other people’s wants, wishes and plans. Thus the increase in anger, resentment and drama. I also believe it is a trigger for some narcissists of childhood issues, especially if they were raised by a narcicist. Often a reminder of what kind of care they didn’t have, wishes not granted (or over indulged in shallow material love). Also potentially a reminder of abuses and mind fucks they went through too.
So, partners and children of narcissists often suffer more during holidays. Heightened tensions also increase likelihood of physical violence.
Why are these violent? I thought only the lessers react with physical abuse. In all my years of experience, I only had 1 episode of violence. That was from a less of lesser Neanderthal.
How are you typically on a major holiday like Christmas? I know you’ve written about needling your sister, which can really be a lot of sibling relationships. lol But how far do you take it to keep the attention on yourself? I would think there’s definitely a difference if you’re in the Seduction Phase or Devalue Phase with an IP. Now that you’ve disclosed Kim has entered the Devalue Phase, what will the difference be for her from last year vs. this year?
This website uses cookies to improve your experience. We'll assume you're ok with this, but you can opt-out if you wish. Cookie settingsACCEPT
Privacy & Cookies Policy
Privacy Overview
This website uses cookies to improve your experience while you navigate through the website. Out of these cookies, the cookies that are categorized as necessary are stored on your browser as they are essential for the working of basic functionalities of the website. We also use third-party cookies that help us analyze and understand how you use this website. These cookies will be stored in your browser only with your consent. You also have the option to opt-out of these cookies. But opting out of some of these cookies may have an effect on your browsing experience.
Necessary cookies are absolutely essential for the website to function properly. This category only includes cookies that ensures basic functionalities and security features of the website. These cookies do not store any personal information.
Any cookies that may not be particularly necessary for the website to function and is used specifically to collect user personal data via analytics, ads, other embedded contents are termed as non-necessary cookies. It is mandatory to procure user consent prior to running these cookies on your website.
Hi HG Tudor, thanks! I really need help.My Narc & I was together for 5 years, brojen up for 2. I only saw him 2×’s in thist time period. Emotionally tirn to pieces. I wabt to be done & over rhis
Hello Everyone, I am knew this site & I am so grateful I stumbled upon this blog because I am still struggling with the effects of Narcissistic abuse. I’ve been abused physically, emotionally, mentally-hit, devalued with words, really mistreated. However, I played a part in this entire situation. He discarded me for someone else, but still attempts to contact me. I went no contact 30 days ago but he contacts me via email, keeps asking me to call him but I don’t respond. I still cry at times, trying to forgive myself for allowing someone to mistreat me! I was a sucks, really allowed him to have total control over me. Wow!
Hello Erica, welcome on board. You will now have the information which will help you understand and make sense of what has happened to you which will set you on the path to freedom.
Twas the night before Christmas
Twas the night before christmas and all through the house
Not a creature was stirring not even Narc spouse
The stockings were hung by the chimney with care
In hopes that the morning would still find them there
The two of us nestled all snug in our bed
When the asshole decides to turn peace to dread
He turns to me solemnly, says I must go
To another location you bother me so
Then all at once he is up in a clatter
Says he has to attend to a most pressing matter
Downstairs he saunters and acting quite brash
Puts his hand to my wallet to rummage for cash
Where the hell are the car keys he bellows below
While I roll my eyes upward and scream I dont know!
Just like you to lose them he snorts with derision
Like he needs an excuse to have made this decision
The one that will leave me alone with my thoughts
While he visits his favorite of Narc hunting spots
He’ll be gone until morning if history repeats
If he’s back before then- well hold on to your seats.
I used to fulfill him but now I’m in pain
As he often rebuffs me and treats with disdain
And me? i still love him and hope for a future
Though a more likely outcome a cut and a suture
I wont give up easy- its in me to give
And a world thats without him not worth it to live
For I know that my love can heal all thats wrong
If he’d only succumb to my empathic song
The one where I sing to that sweet little boy
Whos stuck in a man like the most broken toy
And i know when I free him all will be well
And he’ll see that his life doesnt have to be hell
No need for facade, construct, or cage
To imprison his feelings of deep shame and rage
But I know in my heart he doesnt want healed
Or his thoughts laid exposed and his secrets revealed.
And Im kidding myself -I know it down deep
As my eyes finally close and I drift off to sleep
I awaken soon after, turn over to see
That he’s back here beside me right where he should be
And my heart skips a beat that he’s still in my bed
But I know what my heart cannot tell my head
That he sleeps like a child and I hope he sleeps well
Because when awakens I’m right back in hell……
Narc angel – 👏👏👏👌👌👌
This is making me thankful that my ex didn’t lay a hand on me. She liked to make people think she was tough and not to mess with her or what was hers but I was never at the end of her fist.
I’m sorry for anyone who had to experience this.
She favored using her words to hurt and manipulate.
…*and a dog-beating in the garage corner…*
Also singing along :/
Lump of (narc)coal clues:
*hair-trigger tempers,
*secret-keepers/NON-talkers.
(stay away from Silent Santa!)
natural & healthy to want to run away from that ABUSE
so take the dog & RUN!!
And a trip to the A & E. Waiting of the 3rd day. Shoves.
Are you singing along 1jaded?
No.
3rd day is usually 3 hours of crying or 3 anxiety attacks. .. 🙁
Every abuser has the potential to become violent. Another sign that we are regarded as objects and inferiors. The holidays are particularly hard for those with narcicists in their lives. Narcicists often will become antsy because it is a celebration that doesn’t revolve around them and often involves other people’s wants, wishes and plans. Thus the increase in anger, resentment and drama. I also believe it is a trigger for some narcissists of childhood issues, especially if they were raised by a narcicist. Often a reminder of what kind of care they didn’t have, wishes not granted (or over indulged in shallow material love). Also potentially a reminder of abuses and mind fucks they went through too.
So, partners and children of narcissists often suffer more during holidays. Heightened tensions also increase likelihood of physical violence.
That is interesting Indy. Thank you.
hell I’m going thru that every year…. every December. .. from the beggining. .
Why are these violent? I thought only the lessers react with physical abuse. In all my years of experience, I only had 1 episode of violence. That was from a less of lesser Neanderthal.
They are violent because some of our kind are violent. It is as simple as that.
Alright then. Carry on ☺
Not often, they want you to lose control.
How are you typically on a major holiday like Christmas? I know you’ve written about needling your sister, which can really be a lot of sibling relationships. lol But how far do you take it to keep the attention on yourself? I would think there’s definitely a difference if you’re in the Seduction Phase or Devalue Phase with an IP. Now that you’ve disclosed Kim has entered the Devalue Phase, what will the difference be for her from last year vs. this year?
Love’s comment:
“less of lesser neanderthal” lol 😂😂😂