‘Twas the Night Before Christmas


‘Twas the night before Christmas,

And all through the house,

A narc started scheming

With a click of his mouse

The stockings all hung

With a hole in the heel

Emptied of presents

How low they would feel

The children were nestled

All safe in a bed

But it was not their happiness

That was in the narc’s head

And mom sobbing quietly

As the narc sought his fuel

His words had been caustic

And his actions so cruel

When out on the net

The narc did surf wide

Seeking the playmates

To make him powerful inside

Away to the dating site

He flies in a flash

Creating false profiles

Using someone else’s cash

The moon’s light from the window

Did highlight his mask

As he lied and he boasted

Obsessed by his task

When what to his wandering eyes

Should suddenly appear

But a fresh victim

Who was deliciously near

With a click of the mouse

And the charm running high

He opened his trap

And sent lie after lie

More rapid than eagles

Did his tendrils uncoil

Snaking about her

Dripping with oil

So dashing

And charming

So swift

Began the dance

She was dazzled



She stood not a chance

A red flag was flying

From a flagpole tall

Yet she was mesmerised

Taken in by it all

Yes it was late

But how about a beer

He would love to meet her

He knew she was near

So off to the bar

His victim did go

Intrigued and excited

As she strode through the snow

And then in a twinkling

She had a misteltoe kiss

What a marvellous present

It was too good to miss

And there in her head

Which was spinning around

She ignored the alarm bells

Which were beginning to sound

He gave her his fur

As he walked her back home

And there on the porch

His hands did they roam

I know it seems sudden

And I know it is late

But I have to tell you

That you’re my soulmate

She smiled and she gasped

Her heart all alight

As the harpoon hit its target

And her chest did feel tight

She took him inside

And he took her all night

A perfect coupling

It all felt so right

You are amazing

It barely seems true

But I think that I

Have fallen for you

She gazed in his eyes

For he was perfect

And basked in the love

That he did reflect

I will always protect you

He said as she dozed

Her mouth started smiling

As her eyes remained closed

Hours later she woke

The room bore a chill

The window flung open

Boot marks on the cill

She stood at the window

Her mouth open wide

As she recalled with a thrill

And such excitement inside

The mysterious stranger

Who came from nowhere

Who embraced her neck

And showed her such care

Her heart it beat faster

She wanted him so

She would soon see him

Of that she did know

With heart now on fire

And the hooks sunk in deep

She retired still smiling

To catch up on her sleep

Across town the narc was rising

His seeds had been sown

And the day’s first message

Arrived on his phone

He heard the first cries

From down below stair

About vanished presents

Such howls of despair

The narc walked to the mirror

And gave it a grin

For his schemes were now working

He was reeling them in

Already the day

Had started so well

And the ruined Christmas fayre

Would continue the hell

No laughter, no smiles

No pleasure or joy,

He smirked at the thought

Of the next broken toy

His planning bore fruit

The new prey now secure

The hopes of his family

Would soon hit the floor

A day of turmoil

Of drama and regret

With a fresh willing victim

How good would it get?

He smiled at the mirror

And there stared the ghoul

But our narc cared not one iota

He was getting his fuel

So if your night before Christmas

Sounds similar to  this tale

You know what to do

And you must not now fail

Gain knowledge, seize power

And become narc free

By reading everything you find

Written by HG

52 thoughts on “‘Twas the Night Before Christmas

  1. Care to bed me for a night, man whore, um, i mean HG?😉

    1. Kidding of course! Wanted to give you some extra fuel! 😉 Did it work?
      I am always concerned abt your fuel levels here, since you spend so much time with us. Thank you HG!💗

  2. Excellent writing HG once again! Do you really leave a woman after a one night stand as pictured in the poem?
    Season’s greetings to you and everyone here!

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Thank you PANA. Yes I have done so.

      1. In that case, you would be the ‘total whore’ no?

        1. HG Tudor says:

          No I’m not, the other person is, naturally.

          1. Lol! Ok fine, man whore?!

      2. NarcAngel says:


        With a one night stand do you still have feeling of ownership or connection to her due to having given her the “gift” that is you, or not, because you have put no real investment in? (Other than putting your “gift” actually in her).

        1. HG Tudor says:

          We own everything around us, so yes.

  3. E. B. says:

    Happy Christmas to everyone ! 🙂

  4. E. B. says:

    Beautifully written, HG. Happy Christmas!

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Thank you EB, Merry Christmas to you.

  5. AH OH says:

    You are a DARK ONE, Mr. Tudor. I hope to see this on stands next x-mas, a book of Narc poetry. A Very Dark Narc Holiday A Book of Prose and Poetry by HG Tudor

    A perfect stocking stuffer for the wicked.

  6. 1jaded1 says:

    Happy December 25th…HG and thank you for your gift.

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Merry Christmas 1 jaded.

  7. Not So Sad says:

    Wonderfully written HG .

    Happy Christmas ! x

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Thank you NSS. Merry Christmas !

  8. The Punisher says:

    Gain knowledge, seize power and become narc free. But don’t forget ladies narc includes HG!

    1. Indy says:

      Well spoken, punisher!!! Because we can become addicted easily.

  9. Laurie says:

    Absolutely fantastic! Merry Christmas, HG!

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Merry Christmas Laurie.

  10. NarcAngel says:


    Do you exchange gifts with your family? I can only imagine how that goes lol. Im kinda feeling for all those with Lessers that will wake to find something off the floor of his car for them under the tree (possibly wrapped if hes feeling fuzzy and if the tree is still standing).

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Hi NA, oh yes, that ritual takes place this afternoon.

      1. MLA - Clarece says:

        Try to be nice to your sister and don’t needle her about wearing last year’s fashions! Lol

        1. HG Tudor says:

          Ha ha, but that will spoil the fun Clarece!

          1. Did you buy Matrinarc a Donald Trump Chia pet?

          2. Indy says:

            Haha ABB,
            with orange blossoms on the chia buds lol

    2. Indy says:

      Hi NarcAngel,
      Hope you are keeping warm up there in Canada in your fur lined unmentionables!! Merry Christmas if you celebrate and if not have an awesome peaceful weekend!!!

    3. OakorWillow? says:

      NarcAngel, I once got a potholder, a hand vacuum, and a book about walking for exercise. Told narc I didn’t appreciate being told to cook, clean and lose weight. This year I got Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups. I bought him pistachios. To be fair, we’re broke this year, my narc should have picked a wealthier woman to support him, lol.

      1. NarcAngel says:

        Well thats not bad considering what some get lo. I love peanut butter cups. My hubby and I (hes not narc) dont exchange gifts so id have to say im a little jealous right now lol.

  11. Holy Reality says:

    As I sit and I ponder on Christmas Eve for the facade I remember so vivid and keen. All the illusive denial I put myself through in the hopes of the granger that never was true. I thank HG his tidings of reason …for it his enlightenment that has set me free!

  12. kate says:

    truly a horrid wretch. Nicely done H.G.

  13. Claudia says:

    I wish you were not one of them, M. Tudor… 🙁

  14. 1jaded1 says:

    Love this! Hate this! Fuel for you.

  15. Adele says:

    Merry christmas to you HG and all the commenters 🌲🌲🌲🤗💚

  16. Indy says:

    Excellent job, Merry Christmas HG and thank you from the bottom of my heart for all you have taught me and my family!

    Thank for also for connecting us women with each other!! I’m so greatful for all of the support, laughs, tears and stories we’ve shared with one another. I wish you all, my sisters from others misters, a very merry Christmas, Chanukah, or other celebrations, including the celebration of No Contact!!! 🌲🌲🌲🌲🎄⭐️✨🌜❤️

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Merry Christmas and thank you for your continued contributions.

    2. AH OH says:

      Indy, same to you. I celebrate Santa A.K.A. American Express Platinum.

      I do like the togetherness that this holiday brings for some. The Well Wishes. But why can’t this be every day?

      I watched the Dolly Parton Special the other night and cracked up the way they kept saying Baby Jesus.

      BABY JESUS……………hahahaha Say it again. From the mountains of Tennessee. Love me some Dolly Parton.

      1. 1jaded1 says:

        Hi AH OH. Im glad Santa was good to you. Agree kindness should be every day. Lol, someone I used to know would shout “sweet baby Jesus” when certain things went her way. Cracked me up every time.

      2. NarcAngel says:

        AH OH
        I love me some little Dolly too!

      3. I thought of talladega nights, where Will Farrel is praying at the table “dear lord baby Jesus, up in heaven riding your little golden tricycle”! Funny stuff.

        1. Indy says:

          Sweet Baby Jesus, hehehe….
          Dolly, gosh it’s been ages since I watched her. I always loved how she had such a big wig, chest, heart and voice in a 5 foot tiny body…I bet she could knock the lights outta a butt head!!

    3. Love says:

      💜💜💜 Indy! That was so sweet. Thank you!

      1. NarcAngel says:


        Have yourself a Merry little Christmas. Thanks for making me smile so much.

      2. Love says:

        Merry Christmas NarcAngel! 💚💚💚

      3. Indy says:

        Merry Christmas Love 😊🌲🎄 ❤️💙💜

  17. Adele says:

    Hole in the heel 😂 this is the ultimate grinch!!

    1. Ollie says:

      I giggled at that one…;)

  18. Hope says:

    Best. Poem. Ever. 🙂

  19. Bravo! 💙💙💙
    Cruel as all get out, but straight up truth!

  20. NarcAngel says:

    Brilliant of course. My apologies for my previous inferior offering of this Christmas story-I didnt realize til after, that you had planned to do these each day. To your credit though, you did post mine proving once again you are fair and impartial to what we submit (even if you don’t like it). It’s probably one of the 5 rules, but since it’s Christmas I choose to believe it’s something (or someone) else.

  21. Snow White says:

    You saved the best for last HG!!!!
    I love the original but now I have a visual on what your plans are for tonight.
    Thanks for all the Christmas songs and that rendition.
    Have you shared any of these with the good doctors? They should be impressed.

Vent Your Spleen! (Please see the Rules in Formal Info)

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Previous article

The Contrary Octopus