The Magnet Empath

the-magnet-empath

The Magnet Empath. This is an empathic individual who has certain magnetic tendencies which are layered onto their classification as an empath, super empath or co-dependent. The Magnet Empath is a person that people are instinctively and naturally drawn to. This person has an inner light which is easily recognised by certain people; those who are in need. The Magnet Empath might be sat on a tube train when the person next to them will find an irresistible urge to want to tell them that they are travelling to an important interview and they are feeling nervous. The Magnet Empath might be waiting in line to be served in a shop when the customer behind them begins to tell them about their concerns and worries, or where the Magnet Empath is sat watching the swans on a lake when a stranger will sit beside them and start to tell their life story. If you find that complete strangers have a tendency to share intimate and private details with you at the drop of a hat, that they feel a need to off load to you within moments of meeting you and confide in you about their hopes, fears and problems, then you have this magnetic quality.

You draw those in need to you. This is because you shine with this inner light which acts as a beacon of hope and that is what the Magnet Empath embodies; hope. Your empathic nature lights up rooms, illuminates the darkest of situations and brightens the dullest day and this is because you are a walking beacon of hope.

The Magnet Empath moves with confidence and purpose. There is no swagger or arrogance in the way that they enter a room, this person glides, they are serene and elegant. You will not witness any timid scurrying or rolling shoulder bluster, but somebody who is calm and assured. This individual has a clear sense of self – something which appeals to our kind – and this radiates wherever they are. Heads turn, eyes focus and people gravitate towards the appearance of the Magnet Empath. People’s faces light up, there is a lifting of the mood and people want to be seen with and to be next to the Magnet Empath.

Whereas our kind expects this kind of reaction from those around us and indeed seeks and demands it, the Magnet Empath accepts attention with grace and humility. They are not shy, they are not reserved, but there is none of the bluff and bragging that would accompany the engagement of a narcissist with those assembled. The Magnet Empath moves amongst people with a lightness of touch, an encouraging smile, a soft hand placed on the arm and hope shines from him or her.

The Magnet Empath will talk about themselves but in a manner which is encouraging and inspirational. Whilst our kind will also inspire it is done from a platform of declaring one’s own brilliance and you should be more like me. Those with the magnetic empathy will inspire by explaining that the listener is already empowered they just need to release it and to explain that if the magnetic empath can achieve certain aims then so can the listener. They emphasise the connectivity between them and those they interact with, demonstrating how essentially, since they are empathic individuals, they are all cut from the same cloth. The narcissist will demonstrate how we are a cut above and use jealousy and envy as motivational tools instead, demanding improvement, whipping individuals into action for fear of the consequences of not doing so, emphasising the difference between the narcissist and the listener and indicating, heavily, that the listener needs to shape up or ship out, go big or go home, if he or she is to achieve anything.

He or she is content for others to share the limelight and indeed positively encourages it which contrasts with the spotlight stealing behaviour of our kind, but this also acts as an attracting factor to our kind. We identify somebody who can capture the spotlight but does not wish to hog it, allowing us to camp on to it instead.

The Magnet Empath wants to harness potential, bring motivation through the provision of hope, the instilling of belief and the raising of optimism. The Magnet Empath is not one of practicality however. They will not assume the mantle of responsibility for an individual and will not get their hands excessively dirty on behalf of another but rather their aim is to cause those around them to feel better in themselves through their own innate abilities, to tap into as yet unharnessed skills and attributes. This person provides panache and style, bringing hope through words, rather than through actions, a person who can influence in a positive manner the lives of many. Whereas the Carrier Empath is a rugged and practical individual and tends to focus on assisting only a few people, sometimes often only one – usually our kind – the Magnet Empath can affect many people at once with their messages of hope and inspiration.

This individual always believes in hope. This is what drives them and causes them to provide extensive fuel generated by this hope. They hope that love can conquer all and therefore are significant love devotees. They refuse to give up, often flogging a dead horse, endeavouring to overcome the insurmountable. This hope often blinds those with magnetic tendencies to the reality of a situation and causes them to engage in courses of action which invariably result in harm to the empathic person. Blind hope will take them down a path which will be exploited by our kind.

Excellent fuel is generated by this gracious individual, their words inspiring, uplifting, praising and complimenting. They are content to say all of these words and expect little or nothing in return, save that the listener grasps hope and secures growth and achievement. The Magnet Empath is also easily led by false exhibitions of hope, the slightest glimmer is something that they will latch on to in the expectation of improvement and seeing changes. Where the narcissist gives this person cause to hope, it will cause the individual to remain in the grasp of the narcissist as they dangle hope before them to keep them bound.

Often this person need not say anything. Their composure and general demeanour marks them out as who they are, which means that many people engage with them as strangers, unaware that sub-consciously they are drawn to the Magnet Empath. These people are sought after as inspirational speakers, people who present prizes, open new buildings, support charitable trusts and such like and their popularity in this regard and the desire of people who just want to reach out and be touched by the Magnet Empath means that they will often find themselves pulled in many directions and spread thin. This impacts on their energy levels as they feel unable to say no to anybody, not wanting to extinguish the hope that they have begun to cultivate. Instead the Magnet Empath will often take on many different obligations and functions for a wide variety of people with not only consequences for their own ability to deliver but their interaction with our kind when we have ensnared a Magnet Empath.

The Lesser Narcissist tend not to choose those with strong magnetic tendencies. This is because the jealous nature of the narcissist as a whole, but especially the less capable Lesser, means that they fear being overshadowed far too quickly and their resentment would be palpable notwithstanding their seduction. The Lesser’s low control threshold would result in him or her being unable to keep their fury under control during seduction and thus the seduction would fail. Accordingly, it is not attempted. Furthermore, the Lesser will hate the attention that this individual would receive with the upshot that the Lesser would be ignored and overlooked. Unable to compete, the Lesser would be repeatedly wounded and notwithstanding the fuel that comes from the Magnet Empath, this would not be enough. Thus it is unusual to find a Lesser who has ensnared such a person.

The Mid-Ranger likes and wants those empaths with magnetic qualities as they encompass those attributes – charisma, likeability, people skills – which the Mid Ranger believes that he or she has and wishes to project to the world at large. Those with magnetic tendencies prove to be a double-edged sword however. The Mid Ranger will struggle to resist, naturally being drawn to this person for who they are because they are prime material for the narcissist, but find themselves awash with jealousy and envy once devaluation begins. During seduction, these traits can be kept in check and the Mid Ranger will appropriate the benign traits of the Magnet Empath for his own use, but once devaluation commences, he becomes coated in envy which will manifest as prolonged and repeated sulking silent treatments.

The Greater Narcissist revels in the Magnet Empath. Possessing similar levels of charm and magnetism, the Greater finds mirroring extremely easy in order to attract this type of empath. The Magnet Empath’s popularity is also appealing to the Greater who basks in the reflected glory of other people’s enthusiasm, praises the Greater for being with such a wonderful person and naturally soaks up the motivating and complimentary words of the Magnet Empath towards him or her. The Greater regards their acquisition as one which actually saves the Greater some work by attracting additional appliances which the Greater will draw fuel from, hijack as his own appliances and then turn against the Magnet Empath when the smearing commences during devaluation.

The Magnet Empath is a popular person with many empathic attributes, their energy level is not as great as other kinds since they engage more in words than actions, but that is not to say they do not act, just not to the same degree as other types of empath. They also have many demands on their time and attention which ultimately will clash with the desires of our kind, resulting in conflict and control. This will not only hurt this type of empath but result in them feeling torn since they feel obliged to assist others, not just the narcissist and this will result in the narcissist wishing to regulate those behaviours and isolate the Magnet Empath. Their capacity to draw people to them in whatever circumstance, even when not actively doing so, will irk the narcissist considerably during devaluation and provide him or her with the grounds for attack and triangulation.

An excellent fuel provider, both in themselves and the ability to bring others to the narcissist’s table and  the Magnet Empath is someone who hangs in there, always strung along by hope, which is at the centre of the magnet’s being,usually to their ultimate detriment during devaluation and also in terms of susceptibility to post discard/post escape hovering.

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47 thoughts on “The Magnet Empath”

  1. I believe you know us, your individual commenters, that you can size us up. So I know you and you know me, through the experiences of others in our lives. I will never be able to coolly evaluate people as well as you, HG, but I must try to work on it. Familiarity in odd places. It unnerves me but still, thanks.

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    1. I wondered this the other day… can HG sense what kind of empath some of us are? Many of my questions go unanswered and I am starting to sense a pattern of which ones get answered and which ones don’t.

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      1. Maybe for our own protection as empaths, he does limit attention to certain people, perhaps even subconsciously… And we can thank him for that. Lol 💖 btw you probably know this but i just realized that he offers his time in paid sessions, so you might consider scheduling one if you’re having a multitude of questions? That’s what I’m going to do. 🙂

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      2. THank you for saying that. Ever weary of being played, I wasn’t sure. Amber, I also wondered about the “paying option’ but the idea of it seems sort of morbid?!

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      3. Sarabella many of mine go unanswered to, to which I have never had a problem with I just find it hard to believe he answers at all, which it amazing. I realized just how busy he is, with not only this blog but twitter, FB, his consultations both email or one on one speaking, then let’s add his career and personal life to this list, wait I forgot his books to. So I wonder if he even sleeps jk I know he does just doesn’t need as much as we do to function properly.
        Many of your answers you may find in past blogs or even in one of his books, which I highly recommend reading, if you have not. If you need a starting point he can direct you on which book to start you off.
        Amber discovered his consultations, I would even recommend these, if you have many questions or need answers to some faster.

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      4. If you’re concerned about being manipulated or something along those lines, then i think that speaks to the damage done by the previous narcissist in your life and the baggage he or she may have left behind. To the contrary, hg seems intent on uncovering much of the info in order to help us, so i don’t think he would use any info he can glean on you, against you, in order to hurt you. That’s kind of my point that even though he probably can detect our types of empathy, he surely protects those of us without shields from ourselves. 🙂 so i would probably just use occam’s razor, then, as he and twilight recommended, and just assume he’s very busy with all the personal and professional endeavors he has going on at any given moment. There’s probably a constant flood of incoming notifications from different platforms. Re paying him for his time, I’m not sure what you mean, but the reason im going to is because i have a series, including about my personal life, the election, humanity, the future of the voting public, and so on. If I’m going to ask his insight, isn’t that worth paying for his specific knowledge that he’s willing to share, and not only that, but has demonstrated remarkable self awareness and insight into? 🙂 also they’re written sessions, so they’re very safe for introverts such as myself. Lol god bless you. And twilight, who is so sweet.

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      5. Sarabella, I may have questions I asked a month ago, but when I think of all the books he’s in the process of writing, plus all the articles he writes on a daily basis, as well as anything he does on YouTube, living his normal every day life, answering paying/non-paying customers daily, I tend to want to give him a break. I know eventually my questions get answered and if something doesn’t get a response, it’s more than likely because it didn’t warrant one. Maybe you can do the same, find some patience and give the dude a break.

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      6. Hahah Love the Harem that comes out to defend him. Boy, like clockwork.

        I simply wondered if he could tell what kind of personalities or empath the repeat folks are. But you are all rising up to defend him. Kind of cracks me up … “give him a break” … “If you’re concerned about being manipulated or something along those lines, then i think that speaks to the damage done by the previous narcissist in your life and the baggage he or she may have left behind. ”

        I just wondered if he can sense the patterns in us as I DO see a pattern of which ones he answers of my questions. I never said it was bad or not, but I see a pattern. You all jumped to a judgement and took it that I was giving him a hard time. I wasn’t. HG is creating an IMAGE with his blog, too you know. So what does he chose to post and not? There is absolutely a narc/marketing/image management thing going on.

        And yes of COURSE I worry about being manipulated by a narc because, well, he is a Narc! And at least I should be learning my lessons, correct, about what a narc is capable of doing, having been there done that and not give my full faith to his word or his intentions? I have indeed earned my right to question and to be cautious or I will just be an other victim. My failure to remember that my narc was a scorpion was the only reason I landed in Narc Hell again.

        Remember this one?

        The Scorpion and the Frog

        A scorpion and a frog meet on the bank of a stream and the
        scorpion asks the frog to carry him across on its back. The
        frog asks, “How do I know you won’t sting me?” The scorpion
        says, “Because if I do, I will die too.”

        The frog is satisfied, and they set out, but in midstream,
        the scorpion stings the frog. The frog feels the onset of
        paralysis and starts to sink, knowing they both will drown,
        but has just enough time to gasp “Why?”

        Replies the scorpion: “Its my nature…”

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      7. I am sorry that i for one came across as snarky or defensive. I can only speak for myself in saying that my internal tone of voice after reading and rereading your post was one of earnest sincerity and simply pointing out that while someone in your past *may* have victimized you, that it doesn’t mean that a self aware person such as hg would. Clearly for him to do so would jeopardize his work and professional future to an extent, so i was only encouraging the idea that most likely, he’s busy, and that if you are posting multiple posts, perhaps you need individual attention and may benefit from an individual session. That is all. I’m very sorry if my words seemed to attack you in any way. Please forgive me. Often intent cannot be read the same on the internet or through text that it can be heard through voice or through the eyes.

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      8. Sarabella , I do not apologize nor ask for your forgiveness. Originally, you said, “many of “my” questions go unanswered”, but the last part came acrossed (to me) as though you were scensing a pattern with all of our questions, as a whole. Therefore, your statement came acrossed as being sarcastic; and I’ll defend him on the basis of his time spent doing this blog, alone. Nothing more, nothing less. Good day!

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      9. AMBER:

        I appreciate the response and clarification of your intent. But I will always be wary that he is a scorpion. It was my blind trust to the Narc that caused me immense pain because I too, thought no, way, he would not do that to me again, right, his intent is pure and honest? Who knows what might manifest in HG’s life down the road where even he, an elite narc, might lose it and sting us all. I can tell you the pattern I see but if I were to put myself in his shoes, with what I know of him so far and his personality disorder, and the pattern makes sense. I don’t think some of the unanswered ones are so random as least that is what is seems like to me. Might be wrong.

        But I do appreciate his revealing the nitty gritty of the mechanisms. I had a very higher level of understanding but reading how the gears actually work has really helped me.

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      10. Well, i don’t know what to tell you. I don’t think hg is the ideal person to help you with the issues you’re facing. You’re suffering from admitted suspicion to people of his influence, an influence over which he has no control, then essentially accuse him of playing favorites, then say it’s morbid to pay him, then call his followers a harem, then refer to him as a scorpion, and essentially refer to him as what? A predator lying in wait? What can you hope to accomplish from this? I’ve been studying npd for about 9-10 years now, so any insight he offers us is very valuable and particularly so coming from his perspective, especially, and unlike any other introspection ive seen this far in this field, so I’m grateful. I’m not looking for a friend in him. If you’re looking for a particular time session to answer a group of questions, then he offers such. If you’re looking for male attention to replace your last narc, then again, I’d suggest this is about you needing to heal that within you which is leftover pain, and i don’t know that hg is going to close over a fresh wound. He’s not an empath. It’s a little unfair to ask something of him that he doesn’t have to give, when he freely gives of so much. I think many of us who consider it okay to attack or insult those with npd need to rethink the moral ground we stand on when it comes to the principles with which we feel comfortable attacking them, especially in a public forum such as this, and on their own Web page. 🙂

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      11. Braveheart:

        How would I ever know what questions you (or anyone) ask that don’t ever get answered to include in my statement? LOL

        MY post was a response to the one right before that had this in it:

        “I believe you know us, your individual commenters, that you can size us up.

        To which I said:

        “I wondered this the other day… can HG sense what kind of empath some of us are? ”

        I was in fact talking about “MY questions”. MY questions. Not yours.

        I also asked that as he had recently posted about the different TYPES of empaths and clearly, in his world, some are prime. So it made me wonder, based on our questions, especially the ones not answered (I only know of mine!), can he he identify our own nature by WHAT preoccupies us or what we have to say about our experiences with Narcs

        The sarcasm you ‘heard’ is your own issue, not mine. I don’t need you to ask for an apology. I just found some of your reactions really funny.

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      12. Sarabella, i can only assume that with their predatory nature, they are constantly sizing up people, whether it’s even haphazardly to entertain the notion for possible future prey, or as one sociopathic ex of mine put it, to literally size up another man in order to establish ranking for competition or in case an altercation should break out. I cant understand that mindset, as i prefer a utopia where we all work together, and my goal as a light worker is to move us towards heaven. However, someone more firmly planted in the third dimension will always be more astute here, and if given extra sensory perception type gifts, will use those to his or her advantage in locating and ensnaring prey. In fact, their ability to navigate the third dimension is one reason iam always attracted to them. That being said, the greater the number of women are that someone in hg’s position are exposed to, the smaller the chance is that any particular one would be the “one”. Plus, I’m pretty sure he has someone. Also, like i said, he takes a huge chance picking a fan because he could run across a higher empath who could create a catastrophe on the way out the door upon discard. So why would he risk that to his business? He would be better off dating only outside his business and potential clients, never mixing business and pleasure. I’m sure he’s professional enough to know that already. He seems wise. And i assume not all empaths are created equal. He’s probably very picky. And he drops hints constantly of what a demanding master he is (no offense, hg). So there’s no worry of you getting caught in a trap. No offense, likewise, to you. 🙂 I’m going to try to stop commenting on his threads because i realize i talk so much. Lol 💜

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      13. I wondered the same thing. Can they tell just through written word? Heck, I am still trying to figure out my how and why. I know I am this one for sure. I wonder only if I am texting with a narc without seeing me do know who I am. I asked this question today.

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  2. Hi HG, could you expand on this please?
    “their energy level is not as great as other kinds since they engage more in words than actions, but that is not to say they do not act, just not to the same degree as other types of empath.”

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    1. The Magnet Empath is good with words and prefers to do this (it is genuine unlike our deceitful use of words) rather than roll up their sleeves and wade in with practical graft. The will act to some degree but not as much as other types of empath. Instead they prefer to rely on words to bring about as positive outcome.

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      1. Now you state this so clearly, it makes sense.
        This article is wonderful, HG. Deep. I can only repeat myself: your skills at reading other people are amazing.
        And it reads almost like a love letter …

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      2. BTW: it’s also the emotional center in the brain that’s over active. Overshadowing the rational action steps-part. It’s deeply felt before told.

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      3. I clearly am a magnetic empath. Didn’t know what I was till now. Our words are more then words. They actual met the need of the person. For me I actually feel and see their need, often I don’t even know it but have helped them deal with some thing. I find out later. I know the problem without them explaining it. It is draining sometimes like doing manual work. Manual labor is easier sometimes. A narc can put a high drain on this type of person with all the shape shifting they do. The Narc believes his pain is real so it projects into the magnetic empath as real pain. The problem is nothing is real but the constant energy drain. A normal person drains me but i can recharge but a narc like sucks my life force out. The confusion with in the Narc is twirling storm. I often feel they don’t have inner peace. They are in a constant battle with their own mind. The worry in the Narc even when showing confidence is above normal in the ines I felt with. It is like a constant feeling in them. That is how the hooked me as I felt them. They are empty but in constant turmoil. No peace. I tried to help them to peace and rest. The Narc needs to shut off his brain. It is very draining being around one. Exhaustion! I have yet to find away to calm a narcs inner self. I am done trying thanks to your posts. I am not sure anything can help them.

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  3. Well now. This explains some things. I am described with words that always puzzled me. They didn’t seem to fit my internal world. My internal world is a constant work to heal and deep soft hurting pain from my life experiences. And uet I have a very calm, regal, grounded energy. I can be whipped up into becoming very reactive, but I am the person that grounds the room. I was once compared to a Greek Goddess from the way I held myself and sort of stayed above everyone else. Extremely proud, defiant, gentle. Maybe that was some of my own narcissism there, too, as that reserve and holding myself above others was a trait I learned to try to stay safe from bullies and from a Narc mother who felt we were better than others given our strange social upbringing. I am extremely creative and abstract. A friend who just sought to purposefully hurt me said I am original, not mainstream. But I am not outwardly clearly codependent so that was never a good match. I am in some cases.

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    1. I can only imagine what you must be like in person, but it reminds of my best friend. She is like a woman from another era or royalty from a past life. I often feel she doesn’t fit into humans very well in this lifetime, because she’s so kind and caring and empathetic, yet so strong and defiant against evil. It’s an odd juxtaposition, yet she’s fought so bravely and led the most charmed life. She’s so spiritual that her loved ones and even pets come to give her messages after their deaths because they love her so much. I just wanted to share this because you may be like her, just very exceptionally advanced in your journey. Recognizing that doesn’t mean your looking down on other humans or comparing yourself to them, just that for you, you realize your far into your own path. 🙂 as she is. And people like tend to stand out because they seem to be angels without wings. God bless.

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      1. AMBER:
        Wow, I just saw this. I really am glad I did. I had a distant cousin once, who really helped me at a time when my family had abandoned me, tell me that people might think that I think I am better than them. It was a comment that puzzled me. She also said, that my own sister and brother would have eaten me alive when I at one point elected to not live with them. Both of those comments threw me as I have struggled my whole life to feel like I belonged. And what was it about me that people DO want to eat me up? Why do I make then so nervous sometimes?!

        My ‘friend’ who betrayed me as I feel right now, told me that I make people feel how inadequate they are and it’s not even intentional or conscious. She said especially for some narcs, our presence makes them feel like we are killing them so they want to kill us instead. She really believes that my narc doesn’t just want anyone’s attention, he wants MINE. And for some reason, he has limits of who he wants to hurt but for me, he wanted to destroy me and that was the twisted backwards way of saying he loved me.

        It is true, I am strong and extremely defiant. My mother, bless her kind heart, told me once that she would only threaten spanking my brother and he would shape up. She said for me, she could have beaten me black and blue and I would not have given in. She never tried, but she knew this about me. If she had beat me, she would find herself looking at herself and her own evil nature, it would have been in my eyes.

        I think the narc really underestimated my empathy and gentleness. I have deep shame for some of my life, but my defiance and sense of right or wrong is what always protected me. I think he thought because he knew the shame, that his pathetic controlling tactics would work. They did for a while, but again, my defiance against evil kicked in and I fought back hard. I just didn’t understand that brand of control and humiliation he was dishing out. The tricks and traps he had laid for me.

        When I was in my 20’s, I went traveling in New Mexico. I ended up on a reservation at a B&B and in the night, a spirit came to me. I tentatively asked the owner the next day if his place had ghosts. His eyes went VERY wide and he clapped and said, YES! That’s my grandmother! She must like you if she came to visit you…. She stayed with me for the next night, told me the story of her life in my dreams in energy, and as I left the reservation boundaries, her spirit gave me one last story and then pulled up into the night. 3 years later, 3,000 miles across the US, in a crowd of hundreds of thousands at a presidential inauguration, I was drawn to a craft table. I HAD to go and get near the owner of the table. NO matter WHAT. I made my family wait. And when I got to the front of the table, it was the owner of the B&B. How was that possible to find him across incredible time and distance and in a massive crowd.

        I am not normal sometimes and I have feared it comes off as arrogance and superiority. So thank you for saying that… you have helped me alot.

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      2. Amber:

        One more thing, a Japanese art calligrapher was doing pieces for the students in his class and he did one for me. It was the characters for “Angel Child”.

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      3. Just to say, that cousin had alot of love for me and saw me for the beautiful person I was that my family never saw. She died this last year. I miss her

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  4. In the beginning, when Mr. Narc and I were together, I would feel a powerful pull in the center of my being. I could see it manifest in him as well. We were magnetized to each other. And resisting it was clearly causing both of us physical and psychic pain.

    Many months later, long after resistance proved futile, a new energy emerged in my being. It assumed the shape of a cross. There was a tangible feeling of him being inside of me — inhabitating me and pinning me down.

    Despite the ongoing sufferings, this sensation gave credence to the possibility of having found my “soul mate”. After all, I’d never experienced anything like that before.

    I know this sounds very “woo”. In fact, I am strongly rational. Yet I believe in the reality of psychic energy states and exchanges. It’s just that we (as a species) don’t have a structural framework to describe them.

    In my opinion, it’s here (on this ethereal level) where narcississt and empaths bind so thoroughly. (Akin to your tower post, HG.)

    The bonds may be subtle and invisible, but they are Real. And stronger than steel.

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    1. @Karin. I know what you mean. But now? I feel it was the great lie. Oddly, a friend describes it that he planted a tree in me. Another he left a part of hos soul in me. I thought it was twin flames. I think I wanted to grab for anything to explain this intensity. But I don’t think now there was any special bond at all. Just the glue abuse, trauma bonding, Stockholm syndrom, unconscience seduction and more. I regret the day I ever fell into that trap of thinking and feeling. It was my downfall and I now see, not even of my own free will. He manufacturered it, I just grasped to explain it.

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      1. @sarabella

        Completely agree with you. All true. What I think I’m trying to say is this: There is a unique compatibility between the empath and the narcissist which results in chemical bonds which appear metaphoric or metaphysical. There is a very real effect on the body/mind.

        So, are these just certain chemical reactions in the brain or is the experience something real which is expressed in these chemicals?

        Whether he manufactured it….well, even if a dynamic has ethereal roots, it doesn’t mean there can’t be manipulation or imbalance in power.

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      2. Karin

        Yes I do know what you mean. But I struggle to stay away from that feeling and thinking. I feel incredibly bonded to him but it’s so false. When I used to respond to that ethereal feeling, like how could he ever let me go, how did he not feel it? He would call my writing names, call me obsessed, all it foolish, nonsense, gibberish, shit, and pretty much used it as more reason to abuse me. Though oddly, never once did he ever deny some of what I said. But now, I think he left it hanging so I would think that there actually was some meaning. Like HG posted elsewhere… never saying it’s not true is the equivalent of a bye bye. And he never ever said bye bye. Oh, he said that there was never going to be a he and me. Ever. He would tell me to take a break from him, but never bye. But then, he said so many other things, what was ever the truth? I had to pick eventually. Like pick which sound track I should believe in when there was so much conflicting things being thrown out.

        I get scared even touching the idea that there was ever something ethereal or some deeper empath/narc bond between us. Even as I once tried to explain it to him, he caught on right away and said yes, he felt it since he was a boy. But maybe he only said it because he was smart enough to know “my kind”. That I was seeking for some explanation for why he had done all this, why I was in so much hurt and saying something like that, was instinct to him and he knew it would buy more time. I was supplying my own reasons for hanging on to him so why not?

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    2. Karin,
      You described it perfectly. I definitely felt not only a magnetic pull but we seemed to be connected on a deeper level mentally.
      A few times, when I awoke, between the state of sleep and being awake, I could feel his presence in my room so strongly. I’ve never in my life experienced anything like this. I would wake up speaking out loud, calling him by name, confessing my love for him. Which is all fine and dandy if you’re single but my husband (whom I was getting ready to leave) was lying next to me.
      It was like my mirror (his new nickname 😊) could read my mind. Idk how else to explain it. I was completely convinced he was my soul mate, so when he started saying that he felt I was his, I was convinced because never in my life have I ever experienced something so passionate, magical and intense.
      Too bad it was all a lie.
      That’s what fucked me up the most.
      I was a rave queen in the mid 90’s and his “love” aka bullshit 😂, made me higher than any drug I have ever tried. Including pure MDMA. 😊

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  5. You know us too well. Fortunately we now know your kind as well. Quid Pro Quo. Unusual for me as I mostly work in the Not For Profit world teaching giving simply for the joy of it. Magnetic Super Empath. It’s now my power rather than weakness. And yes I am commenting to help others on here to embrace the strength this blog and journey can bring, expecting nothing in return.

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  6. Great post HG!

    Just as there are hybrid narcissists (nomads vs ping pongs etc) I believe there’re hybrid magnet/super empaths and regular empaths. I identify as one. It all depends on my mood, who I’m surrounded with, and all situational, not on purpose.

    Do you think a mid range ping pong narc would Hoover a magnet empath after being exposed and wounded by one? After I did that I was told he was undeserving of me and to go be with someone else. Is that a reaction of being wounded & me “wising up?”

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    1. His reaction is one of seeking pity and establishing a wedge in the hope you will allow his return. He will be wary of hoovering you given exposure, wounding and the fact he is a mid range. He will want you to make the first move.

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  7. Well well well. I am the magnet and you are steel.
    You are exactly spot on. I am a great cheerleader. I orchestrate. I direct. I don’t work…lol. I motivate. I can make a friend anywhere anytime. People will automatically feel comfortable with telling me their life stories. Sadly, you are also right about hope. Since you have told me your strategy about dangling hope in my face, I must change tactics. I don’t believe in hope HG! Do you hear me? I am not hoping for anything. In other words do not promise me or say your endeavoring or you are looking forward to or you are certain that soon or it will be delivered or I am working on that soon or any other hope based response. Because I no longer believe in hope! (Think he’ll fall for it and not keep me dangling like a pair of earrings?)

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  8. I left my husband of 28 years for this lie/hoax. The N followed me for a year. Studied my home, marriage, my career–me. He morphed into the loving, caring, compassionate, passionate man of my dreams. The chemistry is something I have a difficult time forgetting. I know I actually glowed in the golden period.

    Hope kept me going back, time and time again. Hope that my good could change his ways, save his soul. HG has helped me understand the false fairy tale, the lies, the true evil. But, at the end of the day it still sucks to have been duped and brainwashed…. and to have given up so much of my life for a lie. In the end, I hope it doesn’t end up costing me my life, because I know he’s capable of killing me.

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    1. I’m sorry about your marriage. Sadly, he probably secretly thrived on the power of being able to break it up. Re being able to move on now without physical harm, from what i have learned from my experiences with domestic violence, i would encourage you to contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 800.799.SAFE (7233), on one hand, and on the other, also withdraw your fuel slowly, so he can find another source to replace you with. This is not to take the place of any advice hg would offer. Lol God bless. 💜

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    2. Exhausted i feel your pain, in the beginning I thought I could change my husband but things just became more violent. I was with him for 26 years. One night he pin me to the couch and held a knife to my throat. I remember every detail and how dark his eyes turned. How I escaped I don’t know due to a moment when n time is missing, maybe he knocked me out all I do remember is when he fell asleep I packed a small bag and left. He couldn’t find me yet could contact me and long story short I went back then things started to go back to the same as they always were. I told him I was leaving and going to divorce him this time he made it damn near impossible to even leave the house. My ending was permentant as to the fact he died 2 weeks later. I was lucky.
      Many thoughts and hugs for you, it’s not an easy path but you find a strength you never even knew you had on it.

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  9. WOW WOW WOW!! So well explained!!! This is soooo me. I have been like this since I was a tle girl. My Mother was always amazed at how many people, over the years, have been drawn to me and tell me all of their problems. Some are drawn right to me and others can’t look me in the eyes. They become very uncomfortable and yet I haven’t spoken a word. I have big green, sparkly eyes and I always attributed it to that but as I have gotten older I think it goes deeper. I can feel peoples energy and apparently I give off a lot of energy as well. I always knew there was something but I could never explain it. This article sums it up. I could never explain it as well as this article does, but I instinctively knew it if that makes sense. This type of person may seem wonderful but they live lonely lives if they cannot define/understand why they are the way they are. They are the ultimate involuntary hoovers.

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  10. It has dawned on me that I am told by male pursuers that I light up a room & turn all heads when I enter. “Everyone wants to be with you”. This is followed by the statement “you’re too much”. Thank you. Now I understand.

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  11. HG,
    I just stumbled upon this one-I now know what I am-so well written and analyzed! Now I understand why Ang. was always jealous of my friends and acquaintances- people approaching our table-rarely addressing him but speaking to me instead-which of course was another reason to criticize that I was talking too much and later would add “people say. . . .”. Thus the sulking and bloody silent treatments-as you stated HG the Mid rangers thrive on this. But there’s me always hanging in there, being lied to in the name of hope for the future in the name of love, which is at the core of my being but at the same time has been detrimental for me. The funny thing is I don’t ask for attention or thrive on it. What drives me is making people feel good about themselves by complimenting something about them or their deeds; it cost nothing and does so much!
    Very Grateful HG 🙂

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