You Sicken Me



We are strong, powerful and impervious to illness or injury. We are a bastion of invulnerability, a veritable shining example of radiant health and vitality. Our superiority means we stand head and shoulders above everyone else and the weakness that comes with ill health and infirmity is not something that affects us. Except when we decide it must. That is when we play the sickness card. There are three instances, in the main, when we do this.

The first is when we do actually suffer from some illness or an injury. It may just be a fractured eyelash but to us we have been blinded with a red hot poker. The pain, good Lord the pain, it is too great and intense. It wracks us and has us twisted up in agony. Come on empath, do something. Do something now. Soothe our fevered brows, splint our broken limbs and bind our wounds. You must drop anything and everything. Forget being at work today, you must call in and excuse yourself no matter how inconvenient, for you are required to don a nurse’s outfit and do your best Florence Nightingale impression for us. This slight snuffle is pneumonia you know and to top it all it is your fault. You insisted on the window of the bedroom being left open, now see what you have done. I may not last the week. You would like that wouldn’t you, you ungrateful bitch after everything that I have done for you. You did it on purpose. You wanted me to be ill so you could see me suffer. That is how nasty and selfish you are. Is it any wonder I have been off with other women when this is how I am treated by somebody who is supposed to love me? Yes the smallest spot, minor ache and slight cough are all that is needed to enable us to declare that we are on our death beds. It is good for several uses. First of all, we will use it to avoid doing things such as household chores or attending an event that you wanted to go to. Secondly, it means you must give us plenty of attention by looking after us. Those soothing words and hot water bottles brought to our bedside all provide us with fuel. Thirdly, we are able to provoke you by being demanding and castigating you for not living up to expectations. You didn’t bring that hot lemon drink soon enough or those are the wrong pills. We will compare you to others, ” My mother would do a better job of looking after me than you.” All of which is designed to cause a reaction from you.

The second occasion on which we will play the sickness card is when you are ill or injured. We are not here to look after you. Good Lord, not at all. Why should we? That is not our role. We are too busy looking for fuel and we do not have the time or energy to spend engaged in nursing you. Not only of course are we devoid of the concept of feeling that we should care and that we shouldΒ feel sorry and compassionate for someone who is unwell, we do not regard it as a task that is worthy of someone as brilliant as us. If you moan enough so that we are compelled to call out a doctor we will pronounce our own diagnosis in order to align ourselves with the brilliance of the medic. When he concludes what ailment it is you are suffering from we will declare,

“Yes, I said to her that that was what was wrong with her, but she won’t listen to me doctor, she insisted on getting you out. I am sorry she has wasted your time.”

We get to denigrate you and upset you whilst showing off how clever we are because we knew what was wrong with you (even though we did not) and the doctor accords with us. We may as well steal a segment of the doctor’s brilliance for our construct whilst he is here mightn’t we?

We will then invite the doctor to examine our shoulder or leg as we go to great lengths explaining how much pain we are in. This keeps the spotlight firmly on us and has you annoyed that we have hijacked your consultation. We will look to declare we are far worse off than you. You have a cold, well we have flu. We will use this as an opportunity to accuse you of attention seeking (nice bit of projection there) as we point out how selfish you are for being ill when we are. We have no interest in tending to you and we need to make the situation all about us. Accordingly, we will fake an illness or an injury in order to trump yours.

The third reason as to why we will play the sickness card is when we are low on fuel and low on energy. There may be any number of reasons why this state of affairs has arisen. You may be getting wise to some of our manipulative behaviour and therefore you are not reacting as often so that the level and quality of fuel that you provide is reduced. We may also have a natural dip in our energy levels or feel some degree of vulnerability which means that our resources are being stretched rather thin. This makes it difficult for us to seek out additional sources of fuel. This diminution in fuel reduces our power and this risks the craven creature that lurks within trying to escape and making itself heard. When this happens, the creature’s whisperings remind us of our weakened selves. We are not ill. We are not injured. What we are however is feeling weakened, as if we are ill or injured. Accordingly, we play the sickness card in order to obtain an emergency injection of fuel from you or whoever else might be to hand. As an empathic individual you are programmed to respond to this and you cannot resist the opportunity to exhibit your caring nature in order to help us out and nurse us. The attention you lavish on us provides us with fuel and we begin to feel more powerful again. The creature’s catcalls fade as he is subsumed within the prison of our constructed edifice once again and our supremacy returns. Our weakness lifts thanks to this provision of fuel from you and this has been instigated by us playing the sickness card. We will do this to garner sympathy from you, from family and friends and also from health professionals. Our favourite ailments of course are of the invisible variety. Depression, a stomach pain or a bad back. We are brilliant actors and ham up our suffering. The portrayal of our poor sick self would please Ferris Bueller. As with most things it is just another fabrication designed to manipulate you and provide us with fuel but you must never dare question us. We of course have researched the symptoms thoroughly and our Munchausen Syndrome is most prevalent. You are duty bound to help us rise from our sick bed or you are a bad person and we will cut you out of our will in the event that this terrible affliction sends us to the reaper. You will be sick to death of our illnesses and injuries but you will be duty bound to attend to them.

38 thoughts on “You Sicken Me

  1. Claudia says:

    A “fractured eyelash”… πŸ˜…πŸ€£πŸ˜€. Here’s the thing, if you, Narcissists, could just play nice-like, I would have forever soothed all your grief and wounds, (day after day, and night after night, and weekends, as well). You would’ve had it all! But, you fight against the love, and in time, you rebel toward anyone who offers you the very things you seem to really really need, and even want. I’m sort of confused all over again πŸ‘ΎπŸ‘ΎπŸ‘Ύ

    1. Yes Claudia they defy logic πŸ˜€

  2. J.R. says:

    HG, what’s it like for one of your kind to go under general anaesthetic? Is there fear of loss of control? That you may ‘slip up’ somehow with the fogginess of anaesthetic wearing off etc.? Mine was shockingly anxious before a procedure he had to have.

    1. HG Tudor says:

      I do not know it has not happened to me.

    2. Interesting question J.R. The answer was gained by N2″s for my personal interest. Due to me undergoing g.a’s I noticed my N’s discomfort surrounding such. He feels uncomfortable in hospital environments at the best of times electing they are places where germs live and one is likely to catch anything. After his brothers death from an unexpected cardiac arrest, he appeared to be non responsive and as non responsive observing the fight for our small toddlers life as it was slipping away before our eyes by paramedics calling for backup.There was no visible emotion. Nothing- I saw no physical signs of emotion. I recall that it was like observing someone else focused on a tv program or looking at a photo. His facial features were unmoved. I believe that he places himself into a position of observer, nothing more and nothing less. Seems like his body is left standing there with a stony gaze whilst he has emotionally done a runner, if that makes sense. I needed him to respond, move, anything but he had departed leaving behind some unmoved person to take his place. Eerie to see. He has confessed after some prodding that I am much braver than he, while bragging that he has never been admitted to hospital and this is true. I asked him how he would go with a g.a. and his response was, I won’t have one. I replied that he may have no choice in the matter, he agreed it is a fearful thought and does not dwell on such things! I elected to him that he must fear loss of control and he stated that he would take off if he could.

  3. Claudia says:

    Yes, in Jesus’ Name! Amen.

  4. Oh God- no not you HG, the real God. I pray Lord God, that my ears be spared the insult and the injurious babble of the ill narcissist. I have faith Lord God that my right ear has been burned out for my own protection against the incessant complaints and bluetooth speaker cult like brainwashing of his new diagnosis via every youtube video available on the subject matter. May we have the strength and resilience to keep our ears in a bubble of protection for our own good and may you remind our narcissists that compassion comes from compassion. In the name of Jesus, Amen.

    1. Not So Sad says:

      You’re ” Lord god ” didn’t stop me from years of abuse . BS purple

      1. Not So Sad: HG is educating those of us who read his words how to sidestep the abuse, yes? HG is showing the tricks that narcissists use to keep up ensnared, yes? So has God. HG is defining the evil, yes? So has the word. HG is educating to free us of abuse, yes? So has the new testament. HG did not stop nor cannot stop the abuse suffered but he can educate, so can my Lord and more, he can save my soul from an eternity of abuse. This life has been more than enough!

        1. Not So Sad says:

          Purple. I completely understand what you’re saying . Thank you .

          But If there is a ” lord God ” why didn’t ” stop it from happening in the 1st place?
          Please dont take my comments personally but I just don’t buy into the ” Lord saving eternity stuff ”

          1. Not So Sad..No offence personally at all πŸ™‚ He is not saving eternity, he has it. We have nothing outside of him, just this small piece of life doing as we please living in the flesh. As sure as you know that there is something more inside of you than the flesh that covers you, that something else that could go on for thousands of years but for the eventual day your body can no longer house that something’, there is something more, I have been there. I would not lie to you, there is another place past our flesh and this life. As for your question: There are many clear signs where he was there to stop it, only those doing it are not listening to him (via the messengers, signs, vessels) that were in place to stop it, and they were there, just not noticed or heeded.

          2. Not So Sad says:

            Thanks again for replying Purple .

            I don’t doubt for a second you would ever lie to me or anyone else. BUT the only signs of abuse were the Red Flags which on looking back I ignored.

            Everyone has their own way of dealing with abuse, if finding your way with God does it, then who am I to say differently . πŸ™‚ xx

  5. Little boy who cries wolf many times may need to cease doing so in case illness sneaks up on him as insidiously as his disorder infected others.

  6. Sunshine says:

    “Our favourite ailments of course are that of the invisible variety…”

    Or a case of the “I don’t knows:”

    “What’s the matter?”

    ** shrugs shoulders **

    “Do you feel unwell?”

    ** nods head **

    “What is it that’s wrong?”

    “Don’t know”

    “What are your symptoms?”

    “Don’t know”

    “You feel ill, but you don’t know what your symptoms are? You must do. Do you feel achy?”

    “Don’t know”

    And so on.

    HG- could this be an interaction with a vulnerable narc?

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Hello Sunshine (every time I write that I feel like a police officer talking to a criminal caught in the act), in my parlance that could well be an exchange with a Victim Narcissist.

      1. Sunshine says:

        Don’t forget to twirl your baton and rock back and forth from your toes to heels as you say that.

        1. HG Tudor says:

          You’ve got the picture. Then I tread on your toes as I lean into your face and ask you where you have been.

          I did consider a career in the police.

      2. Sunshine says:

        Vulnerable / victim narc – is that the same thing?

        1. HG Tudor says:

          I should imagine so. I don’t categorise as vulnerable narcissist, so I assume it comes close to my categorisation of Victim Narcissist.

      3. Sunshine says:

        Thanks for the heads up HG – I’ll make sure I wear my steel capped shoes when I engage in my dastardly deeds.

        Do make sure you brush your teeth. There’s a good chap.

  7. Ugh, Claudia, that is no teddy bear but an ugly man. The eyes, though .,. They look extremely familiar!

    1. Claudia says:

      I wish for M. Tudor to look like the man above than to be a Sociopath. I wish so much that he was not a Narcissist.

  8. You just blow me away!! I would love to hear about how you were able to get so honest about your narcissist personality disorder. Typically, a narc doesn’t recognize they’re a narc. I’ve been following you on Facebook for the last year and have related and learned so much.

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Thank you LIB. It is by virtue of being a Greater and the ongoing interaction with the good doctors which has increased my awareness to build on inherent knowledge. As you rightly point out, most of our kind (The Lessers and the Mid-Range) do not recognise themselves.

      1. Sunshine says:

        I, for one, have said this before, so there may be others who think the same way as me in regard to the following matter.

        If you’re looking for insight into ‘our kind’, then I can freely volunteer that my biggest fear in regard to my primary narc is: that he heals himself from his narcissism; that he becomes a genuinely and better person, and he is able to sustain this.

        If he remains a narc, then that is my revenge. I don’t even have to lift a finger.

    2. Tanya says:

      I have a suspicion lately that ‘he’ is really one of us.. how else could ‘he’ be so insightful. One of us that is very hurt by a narc and who just is relating all the hurt that was done to them.

      1. HG Tudor says:

        Interesting (although it made me shudder). When you are as clever as me, spent as long as I have studying your prey and acquiring the insights of the good doctors to boot, insight into your kind comes readily.

      2. BraveHeart says:

        Not to mention, I would think that you’re gaining a lot of knowledge through our comments, as well. Hmmm, could that mean that we’re actually in cahoots with you, unknowingly, teaching you even better ways of manipulating our kind? That thought sickens me! πŸ™‚

  9. Claire says:

    Hmm both my marriages I became very close to calling them.a wuss. Especially the last one. But of course nice girls don’t do that!

  10. Claudia says:

    I don’t know why, but I just thought how cute it would be if this was a picture of you, H.G. You’d be like a Teddy Bear Malignant Narcissist. I couldn’t help but to wish to take care of you.

    1. Claudia- it looks like an tv advertisement for sinus and antihistamine relief! He is hideous- ewww I get your sarcasm πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€ HG would not want to be compared to this character but what they don’t get its that once you have seen the beast you can’t see past the hideous, no matter the outside appearance it may as well be the horrible image in this picture!

      1. Claudia says:

        Yes, once I saw behind Narcissists’ facades of past, I could see nothing else- except my sad remembrances of the Golden Period πŸ™

        1. Claudia- Once a monster has been viewed, experienced, lived and loved- it cannot be unseen, unheard, unlived, or inexperienced. A dog may run out of a drive, frothing by mouth, bound up onto you, rip your flesh or the flesh of your child (inner child) where blood and pain leach out from the wounds. No one asks the neighborhood to move out and move on. In a great percentage the dog, gets PTS if indeed it is not sent to a research facility under the guise of terminal end research to study aggression. The narcissist being, is that dog, needs to be treated like that dog as it injures everyone it preys on it’s path. It and I say it, is as lethal as that dog. I don’t agree with terminal ed research but I cannot control that area. Most probable is that the dog was treated by a cruel master to be that way and was backed into a corner to fight for it’s survival. Narcissists are replaying their fears and projecting them onto innocent prey. Nothing and no one will stop or diminish or oppress us who have experienced being tron and ripped, wounded and bleeding- psychologically, physically or spiritually. Our system is geared toward making excuses, our system is archaic and there is a system in place that supplies the narcissist the excuses that the innocent are not able to access. Fail proof system for them and set up for failure system for victims. I intend to voice this until I die. I am asking for change. I am a sister to the women and children who are being lead to slaughter by the system enabling monsters.

  11. Karin says:

    Wait. Aren’t all men like this?

    1. Myself says:

      That’s what I was wondering. Are all men nacs?

      1. HG Tudor says:

        No, but all men (and women) have narcissistic traits.

  12. Claudia says:

    They must have picked up on my ‘nurturing side’. The Histrionic/Narcissist made our home into a private hospital where he became the patient 24/7 in which I cared for him; the Mid-Range Narcissist was always complaining about something being wrong with him (physically & mentally, e.g.. depression, anxiety, panic, phobias); but, the Somatic Narcissist was fine, and not that much into being sick.

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