The Mockery of Mimicry

the-mockery-of-mimicry

I love to copy. I have to copy. It is all I have known for as long as I can remember. It is my natural setting to mimic those around me. I have to fit in, I have to belong and the most effective way for me to achieve this is to replicate everything that I come into contact with. If I interact with an esteemed academic I will listen to his or her achievements and then pass those off as my own as I peel away their glittering accolades and apply them to myself. Should I spend time with an exceptional sporting individual then their record-breaking endeavours will be purloined for my benefit and sported as my own in furtherance of my own belief in my exceptional ability. Author? Yes I have written books too. Model? Yes I do some modelling from time to time. Chef? You should try my signature dish, it is heavenly. Everyone I have dealings with presents me with an opportunity to copy an element of their personality. character or personae so that I may then present it as my own and in so doing I shine brighter and become an even more attractive prospect to those whose lives I effortlessly infiltrate.

This skill at mimicry enables me to ghost in and out of people’s lives. I know the social norms which are applicable and through careful examination and application I am able to pass as one just like you. I am a facsimile of a decent, personable and engaging individual and this allows me access to my targets without raising any alarms. My veneer of respectability has been fashioned from all those that I engage with, gathering patches, fragments, shards and pieces until they are hewn together and I drape it about me allowing me to come and go as I please.

It is however with you that I exhibit the astonishing mimicry of which I am a master. Once I have selected you as my target I have learned much about you already. With what will eventually be recognised as alarming ease, I replicate a fondness for all those things which you like and a distaste for all those things that you dislike. Think back and you will readily recall how I love horse-riding just as you did, that I enjoyed swimming in open water just like you and my passion for the works of Geoffrey Chaucer matched yours. Those interests which were close to you became interests that were close to me. Your appreciation of an excellent bottle of Chateau Margaux was matched by my ability to remember the applicable tasting notes and recite them to you as if it was my own appreciation. I would mimic the way you sat, copying your body language because I know, from extensive practice that this paves the way to bonding with you. I would mimic your speech patterns to form a sub-conscious link between us. I liked blue because you liked blue. I found listening to soul music an offence to my ears but I maintained a false enjoyment of it since you liked it so much. I actually enjoy choosing from the Crustacea bar but your dislike of seafood meant that I too turned lobster and oysters away. How often did you remark aloud, to me or to your friends,

“We have so much in common.”

“We like so many of the same things it is wonderful.”

“We share so many interests, I love it.”

“We are so well matched. On every level. We really are soulmates.”

Of course we are. I made it so because I wanted to be everything you wanted. I took your  long list of likes and dislikes, your catalogue of loves and hates and your grimoire of hopes and fears and I copied each and every page. I am a walking photocopier and I copied everything you wanted in order to ensure that my seduction of you was successful, encompassing and absolute.

Yet, my astonishing powers of mimicry did not end there. Goodness me no, there was more yet to come. In a particularly unpleasant twist to this malevolent skill of mine I would mimic your responses to my devaluation of you but this time it would not be a complete facsimile, I would make a slight change to my copying so that you would be undermined even further.

When you stood there crying with frustration and I drank deep of the delicious fuel you provided me, I would raise my hands to my eyes and draw pretend tears on my cheeks and make a sobbing noise to humiliate you further. Here I was letting you know that I copied everything that went before yet now I copy again but not with the perfection I once exhibited. I allow the sting of sarcasm and the malicious mockery to infiltrate my copying of your behaviour so that your hurt and bewilderment was increased. You would shout at me and I would shout back using the exact words before standing and laughing at you as you burned with frustration, unable to find any response. You might stamp your feet in exasperation and I would do the same but with a leer of disdain writ large across my face.

There were times when you would scream. A terrified scream as my vicious manipulations would take their toll and as you tried to curl into a ball and hope you might just disappear and escape this nightmare, I would lean in close to you and mimic your scream into your ear, creating this fabricated falsetto of distress in order to further your own. Every reaction to my devaluation of you had the potential to be met by a mimicked reply from me in order to further your misery and demonstrate I did not treat your responses with any sincerity or concern.

I am the master of mimicry, the king of copying and the duke of duplication. I am a walking and talking photocopier machine. I put the rank in Rank Xerox.

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120 thoughts on “The Mockery of Mimicry”

  1. Not happy! I feel so aggravated inside. Almost as if i want to take it out on you bcuz you wrote it!! Ugh!!! Evil…but yet you seem …hmmm…i dont know.

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    1. Do not labour under the misapprehension that HG is a good person. Yes, the blog, the books and the advice given are all fantastic – but think Hannibal dealing with Clarice.

      No offense HG 😘

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      1. This is a reasonable wake-up call, Flickatina, to those of us in whom thoughts of H.G. resided on the more “Mr. Rogers spectrum”, as opposed to the more realistic thoughts of Freddie Krueger. I, myself, have once, or twice, considered how kind he must be…until my thoughts of the latter image take over. (I’m not saying that he looks like Mr. Krueger, of course).

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      2. Just keep it in mind at all times….it’s very easy to forget….
        Unless of course HG is just a construct and the person behind the facade is a sweet kitten of a man……..
        ……
        ……
        Bahahahahaha!

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      3. Yes, it is very easy to forget especially when reading his articles and his books. Apart from the Sociopath part, he is very pleasing.

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      4. Thank you, Anna Belle. I have only read three of his books, and have not read about Alex. I was planning on getting the book Exorcism, next. I also was interested in the book about the Creature when it comes out.

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      5. When I think of Hitler, I feel so much despair. What those people went through I cannot stand to think about- children, too 😶. If H.G. was Hitler, I could not be on here! Yet, I do not know who H.G. Tudor really is, or what he does, exactly. H.G., you are not …never mind. Do you feel anything pertaining to the horror that these people went through H.G.? Do you have an opinion of Hitler? It scares me.

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      6. I do not. I visited Dachau some years ago. There was no birdsong. It was then owing to the schematic on the wall that I recognised the efficiency of the whole concentration camp system in terms of planning and logistics. I had not realised its scale or planning before that.

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  2. I wonder what it must be like not to have a voice of your own, not to have a life of your very own. In a way, you don’t own yourself, you belong to others, you are merely a copy of parts many people, not even an original. How does that make you feel? Do you feel cheated in life because you have built a self by copying parts of others?

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    1. I ask because by my comprehension you are compelled to do this self identity construction. I may come across as condescending because I don’t temper my words with gentleness, but I don’t think you require such coddling, HG. Perhaps I need to consider wording instead of just saying what comes to mind. I can be a bit blunt, I suspect.

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      1. The above comment doesn’t work without the first comment being allowed to be posted, HG. Why post the second one without the first that it pertains to?

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      1. HG
        Your words stopped me. Yes it is a testament to your survival. One that most will never understand and they should thank god (or whoever they believe in) for that. There are people who splinter from abuse or survive only to kill themselves slowly (and those around them that love them) with various substances, abuse children, animals, the elderly, start wars, murder people, the list goes on. It is a testament to the human spirit that you find any way out that you can by adapting. It is further testament that once you acknowledge there is no longer a threat to your survival, that you accept you are able to adapt as you once did and do so, instead of using the abuse as a crutch for your behaviour now. Thats the harder one to dodge.

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      2. But without other people, you would not survive. What would happen if you were on a deserted island?

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  3. I recently have been victim to a narcissist. I was left in such a state that I literally had an emotional breakdown. I have learned so much in the last few weeks about the disorder but I have so many questions. Do you ever communicate one on one?

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    1. I discovered this site between Christmas and New Year … It has been a revelation… I was so twisted around by the Nararcisst’s behaviour I did think it was me… I have made a few comments on articles and if they were questions in particular they have been answered… I paid for an email consultation last week and it was the best money I have spent in relation to him… I spewed my story over several emails which was very cathartic … I have to HG was very patient as a short background was requested … I received a very timely response which allowed for further questions … It is mad because of who / what HG is, it does start the healing process, it is better than Counselling as you are told how it is… Sorry for being sweary it is F*cked up therapy, However the relationship was probably F*cked up … x

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      1. OVERTHINKER
        Probably? You came away with the relationship was probably fkd up? Maybe you need another consultation.
        Im teasing you but if youre wavering at all……say it with me now………a relationship with a Narc IS fkd up.

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    2. I would recommend either of HGs consultations, I am surprised he has had the patiences with me, yet he listened to me and explained things from his/their perspective which gave me a very clear understanding for the why.
      HG listens with the intent to give accurate information and relay it so it is understood.
      I wish you well on your journey towards healing.

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  4. H. G.
    For me this article is scary in the sense that nothing was real. I thought at least the niceties at some holidays the vacations we took, some of the comments he made at movies, diner, etc. were real, but all he was doing was mimicking me or others. Why is it that there is no part of them that is authentic? Is it because you cannot feel the same emotions or feelings as us therefore you do not evolve or grow or develop a sense of identity? This interest me and would like your input. Thanks again for sharing. . .

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  5. That`s not special. We do the same to a certain degree. “We have so much in common” We tell you a lot of lies in the beginning to please you. Everyone does that. We do it because we like you and you do it because you hate us. That`is special.
    In the beginning I wanted to learn something from my personal devil and then he started to copy me. I did not like it, although I do admit I never said it to him. Later I recognised that each word he said was stolen from someone else- including the speech patterns. In the end I was able to identify the persons, who have said this or that to him. Yes, he was a copy machine. There was no real “I”. Nothing individual, only a pleasing copy machine. So, who of us has a reason to be proud, you or me? There is and was nothing to adore.

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    1. The only thing about the mimicry is that he seemed so unique in how he used language. He is multi-lingual but he used language in really interesting ways. Maybe that’s from collaging everything? It actually made him seem creative but when I accused him once of trying to sound like one particular culture, he lost it on me. Like maybe too close to home?

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  6. I just realise that. You have no own idea, no creative part, no personality, only copied parts of hundreds of other people. And when you start to notice it, you hate us instead of yourself. Totally logical. Otherwise you would take a rope and… To hate us and make us responsible for your own failures is your escape rope.

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  7. Maybe you should call yourself a ‘”love” devotee’, HG. Going to such lengths and forgetting everything and everyone else while focusing on a new prospect. And actually never ceasing to put the need for a “special” one first.

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      1. I understand you, H.G.; but I tend to choose the fairytale version, instead. It is too painful to consider the alternative. But, I really do understand.

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      1. Stalking and constant control, and planning, etc., etc., yes. 🙂 We could change it to Love-Hate-Devotee

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  8. HG, your under-developed sense of self makes you feel like you need to copy. But you DO have your own identity. You don’t need to copy personality traits frm others. You are interesting, intelligent, and well-rounded, with your own likes and dislikes. However, the one thing you would need to mimic to maintain the facade are the expressions for feelings you lack – smile for happiness, frown for sadness etc. Other than that, there is no need to mimic personality traits. You are great as yourself!

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  9. Next AHA-Effect. I am now part of his collection of words, behaviours and so on. And he will use my words, my thoughts, my achievements to impress the next victim. Well, I am part of him now. HG, have you been one model for the Borg? “We are the Borg. Lower your shields and surrender your ships. We will add your biological and technological distinctiveness to our own. Your culture will adapt to service us. Resistance is futile.” There was someone who knows your kind very well. And he took parts of you to describe the Borg. There are still a lot of differences between you and them.
    I always thought there was a sad, frustrated inner child inside of you. I begin to doubt my theory about it. Is there a rest of a living inner child? Or is the creature only a nearly dead, annoying part of you, that makes it difficult to function for you sometimes? Are you a Borg, somehow?

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      1. and also like a Terminator
        killer robot with murderous agenda on the inside.
        Soft fleshy outer shell, but no pain nerves, just flesh with no feelings.
        The ability to mimic and come across like a neighbourhood police officer.
        🙂

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  10. So for as long as you can remember then since it goes so far back, do you think you began to mimic what you saw your mother approve of in others in the hopes of finally getting her approval? Then it evolved, and now as an adult, when you go in devalue mode with someone, you mimic how she did to you. It is the dynamic you’re most familiar with?

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      1. Exactly! So what would happen if you were engaging with someone you enjoyed their company (whether someone to date, a platonic friendship, co-worker, etc.), and you deliberately try to change your natural pattern of mimicking with them and just interact back and forth on your own merit? Would that be uncomfortable for you? It would force you to slow down your triple tracking, I’d imagine with observing every bit of body language, speech pattern, etc.

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      2. Omg! Stop answering with a question! Lol
        For an experiment. To see how HG unfolds organically himself without all that other work and to see if people will still respond positively to you. That is why. It’s like taking you down to a base model of a machine without all the whistles and bells. And you should trust that you’re solidly built to stand alone without whistles and bells.
        Do you mirror Dr. O & Dr. E in your sessions?

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      3. Why? Ha ha. I was doing it for the purposes of clarification.

        It is instinctive at times Clarece. I understand your point but that is me. My responses would occur instinctively in order to mirror and I would have to compel myself to sit motionless and expressionless.

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      1. How long will it take to publish that book? Give me an interval. Do not give me the answer “soon” or something similar to that. Thank you for your answer.

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      2. Publishing takes a second to click the publish button and a few hours for Amazon to make it go live.

        To have it ready to publish? A few months.

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      3. MONA
        Jesus, if youre behaviour on here is any indication of you being a victim, Id hate to meet your Narc lol.

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      4. Do you do spell check on the books? Or edit them? because I find lots of mistakes. I get them for free, but you would think one would not to take pride in one’s work.

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      5. I do not have time. I emphasise the message over typos but I will be addressing this through assistance. I am proud of the content and the message, yes the typos are irksome but I am an army of one.

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      6. Will everybody ease up on the typos and grammatical errors!! It shows were human and yes the message is more important. Christ on a crutch-were pretty much all fruit loops in some way or another on here or we wouldnt be here so that shit is the least of pur problems. Just be grateful to be able to put finger and keys together and not blurt out shit like: I like Rockths!!! all day long. Geez.

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      7. I like the typos because it shows that even though you are a Malignant Narcissist/Sociopath, you still have a bit of a human side to you- (please don’t feel angry by my saying this). It also tells me that if a Grand Elite MN can make a few typo mistakes, then it’s okay that I make mistakes, too. I love the typos so much!

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      8. SCOUT
        You’d also think you’d take pride in paying for the stuff someone else produced that you’re critiquing but hows that working?

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      9. If another set of eyes are reading it, there should be no typos. They distract. However in recent years with the shift to communicating on phones, tablets, iPads, etc., typos are graciously more tolerated. (Actually discussed as a topic in a lecture class for Communications at the State University in my town). Spellchecker sometimes changes a word before you realize it has happened and can change context.
        In my early career days, when I’ve always been an assistant to an owner, sales manager, senior partner at a law firm, etc, I was at the tail end of still taking dictation or minutes for meetings. Like old school Mad Men days. When you’re representing another’s words, there’s no room for typos.
        When I read HG’s first book, “Evil”, I actually found some of the typos to make it more authentic and almost endearing, that he is juggling a FT day job, at least part of the day, and writing late at night. It does show a human side and yes, content and message outweigh the occasional typo.

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  11. Well it’s unprofessional. That’s my opinion, and I am entitled to it. It doesn’t show he’s human, not in the least. Careless maybe.

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    1. HG
      Kindle Unlimited is not free, it is a monthly fee. Like a library, check out the book and check it back in. You are allowed to have a limited amount on your device at a time.

      If they are getting your books for free than they are stealing them or reading on someone else’s device.

      My question is why would they be on here to just point out typos.

      Your message is loud and clear, typos and all.

      Thanks,
      A Fan

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      1. AHOH!
        Hello my friend. I was worried youd got trapped in your shoe closet and may need cookie dough airlifted in.

        Yes Kindle unlimited has a cost and they said free. Perhaps Kindle has a dictionary “free” that they can avail themselves of. In any case Im sure they have just arrived pissy and jaded like most of us did and will see the benefits here and settle in with the rest of us. I love new perspectives so thats my hope anyway.
        Travelling soon anywhere?

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      2. Hellooo My friend NA! I want to go skiing in the next couple of weeks. I would have been at least once but my cat is just winding down. (cancer)
        I am also looking at going to the East Coast for childhood friends mothers 90th bday.
        How about you?
        I did purchase two pairs of Teiks Ballerina flats. In red and ballerina pink. I have them in navy, white and a colbalt blue also. I recommend them for slipper feeling comfort with style.
        No cookie dough but I did have some oatmeal cookies this week. My fav.
        How are you? Tell me good things!

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      3. AHOH
        Always busy you are! Im sorry to hear about your cat-I know thats hard to deal with. When you get that sorted, I hope you get your skiing in and the trip to the coast sounds fun. I looked up the shoes. So cute! and a nice rest from heels. Im still working on the house but its at the fun stages now so enjoying that. I’ve missed you here but now I’ll know youre okay and just travelling about. Do stop in to say hi. Mmmm oatmeal are my fav too. Followed by peanut butter cookies. Think I’ll go make tea and rustle some cookies up…….take care my friend.

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      4. Are you doing a remodel? I love doing this. This is where I excel. I wish I could share pictures with you. I am thinking about adding a room to my house now that I remodeled in 2012 when I bought it.
        Peanut butter are also my #2 but on some days they are my #1. I love PB with apples too. I order a great one from Hawaii that has coconut in it. Also I like the honey roasted peanuts grounded fresh from Wholefoods.
        Are you in the US? I am not sure, maybe Canada?

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      5. Also I couldn’t stay away to long. I needed some HG in my life. He is like a vitamin that nourishes the crazy gene. Can we bottle this? Why do we like the big bad wolf so much? I must be out of my mind.
        In the jungle with chimps and gorillas, sitting with lions on the Mara and still the man is so much more dangerous. The thrill of it all.
        Hi HG! I have missed you.

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      6. AHOH
        Shhhhhh! We cant talk about food lol. Indy did and she got in trouble. Yes Indy! It was quite the scandal. We got all off topic one night and HG had to put the hammer down (well more like a rubber mallet). Anyhoo……..yes I am remodelling and just to show that its on topic- it is the home of my childhood horrors. I bought it after StepNarc died and gutted it to the studs. It was hard being there at first due being bombarded with memories (more like videos in my head) but has got better as it is being transformed. Are you sure you want to add another room? That means more cleaning. I know-its for more shoes isnt it! Well in that case forge ahead. A girl can never have too many shoes. Btw yes Im in Canada and I’ll slip this in before the ‘Tude notices-Coconut peanut butter sounds delicious lol.

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      7. Guuurl! I do not do housework! I have had a house keeper most of my adult life. I have a housekeeper. She comes twice a week.

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      8. You are creating a space that is for you. The memories went with the walls. Open every window and door and let the air move out anything that could be left.
        Enjoy doing this. You won!

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    2. You are in the wrong place if you want to insult or demean HG.

      But on the other side of the coin, HG posted your insults and this shows how insignificant your insults are. He set you up and you don’t even realize it.

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      1. AH OH

        Eh, it’s all fuel to him. And you saw everyone came rushing to defend him, so he knew exactly what he was doing. :-O

        And I did apologize, something he would never do and I don’t want to be like him in the least. 😉

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      2. Believe me when I say I know this. I also know my post was a bit of browning my nose tip. Do you have a cloth so I can wipe it off.
        I know what I do. So does HG. Damn! More browning.

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    1. Scout I am not sure what point you are trying to make but even a foolish man looks wise when they stay silent.
      Just saying, yet we are all free to our own opinion and HG is gracious enough to let us all voice our perspective here.

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    2. Scout, what are you saying –
      “…maybe Kindle has a low bar for what it publishes” ?!!!?!!
      You may soon realize that HG’s books are full of information, precision, wit, creativity, and a captivating writing style that will leave you wanting more. If you are here due to a relationship with a narc, you will also find healing through HG’s books and blog. It can’t get better than that! My credentials – 3.9/4.0 GPA in college. I have read many many books, and nothing in this genre quite compares.

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    3. SCOUT
      Why so serious? lol
      But really-we all have different reasons for being here and most of us did arrive mad and upset so I understand. Why dont you tell your story? I think you’re gonna liiiiike us…….
      Welcome.

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      1. I do like you. Just don’t like typos. 😉
        But I did apologize to HG privately, because I’m not a mean person and can admit when I’m being an ass.

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      2. SCOUT
        I know hes a big bad Narc and all but hes got the blog, books, email and phone consults, and a job. So I cut him some slack. I mean when will he get any time to seduce, devalue, and discard all those women throwing their panties at him? Have a heart- youre supposed to be Empathic lol. Dont let your people down.

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  12. NarcAngel (Feb.16. at 9.53 PM), thank you for that compliment. No, I am no victim anymore. I learnt to change sides. I am not fully aware of this ability, but it grows. It is a question of training. HG teaches that very well.

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  13. I would like to contribute a little extra fuel for you today, HG. 😉 I originally signed up for Kindle specifically to read all of your books. I really enjoy Kindle. It has opened up a whole new world of entertainment for me. All because of you. Thank you.
    ~ Hope

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