38 thoughts on “The Narcissistic Truths – No. 190”

  1. This meme resonates with me. I know this feeling. I talk with my therapist about the damaged little me and how I am (big me) to protect her now.
    We bury so much and you go about life thinking all is fine and then one day, your inner escapes and you have to deal with it.

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  2. Wow! I was overcome with emotion seeing this HG. It is as powerful as your “Love is a Taught Construct” article.
    A long, long time ago, a past commentator asked what may have caused your narcissism. You said there were 3 catalysts you figured out with the doctors.
    One you gave was Amanda leaving and never being able to find her.
    I’m wondering if the other two were the caretaker or person close to you as a child that you felt loved by was taken away from you. The other being when your Aunt crossed a horrific boundary.
    There’s a lot more I can say, especially for Little HG. My comments in moderation on “Bound” address that though.

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      1. Lol – I was just asked this a few days ago!
        Do a search for “Angel of my Creation” October 2015
        and
        “Voice of an Angel” November 2015

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      1. Hello!
        Do a search for –
        “Angel of My Creation” October 2015
        “Voice of an Angel” November 2015
        It’s interesting to go back to the early posts to see the difference in HG’s tone (he was Malignant Narcissist then) and comments from earlier commentators.

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      2. Oh, yes! I did search and find. I also noticed the change and was asking myself what I saw. I saw you posting from a long time ago, too. The change I noticed is he has become bizarrely much more polished and refined. I take it that is interpreted as change? Or is it better marketing for the material? I see a more confident narc? lol Like more dug into it all than liberated?

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      3. That’s funny to me that you found him “bizarrely” more polished and refined. I think the change was so gradual, I did not notice that per say. He’s always come across polished and refined to me but he was much more caustic and austere with his answers. Rarely showed a sense of humor (but there was a smaller crowd too). He used to only put out one new blog per day and sometimes you would have to wait a few days before any questions, comments or answers were posted. He has definitely established a rhythm and rapport now. He humanized himself when he changed to HG Tudor on the blog from Malignant Narcissist. I can see for marketing purposes how that might have been difficult to convince people to engage in a consult with someone you address as Malignant Narc.
        The growth in him and what has enlightened him from his readers input is evident through the passing months. It makes this a very authentic experience to participate here.

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      4. And I was my narcs Amanda in a way as I read the history. My real name is ALSO a derivative of the Latin root of the name Amanda. The irony. It variations mean love, gift from god, beloved, must be loved, friend!!

        How ironic, don’t you think?

        HG, is that her real name or did you knowling chose that, knowing the origins of the name?

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      5. He also had an Amanda in his life. He is in love with her. And there are 2 messed up storie about her and me. I have never told anyone one of them. It is all so bizaree. You would never believe it. Its like something was conspiring in my life from another universe to make those 2 stories happen.

        Do you believe in paranormal like stuff? Its that strange of a story but he had nothing to do with it, its like both were given to me, one to cause a misunderstanding on my part and then another about her to rescue me and expose the truth. And I don’t even know her.

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      6. I would express a belief in the paranormal if it served my purposes but I am of the view that much of it is as a consequence of matters which can be readily explained (but we just do not have the knowledge yet), people making things up for attention and people having a genuine belief but are mistaken as it was a consequence of something that can be explained scientifically now.

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      7. And yet you have a deep sense of where your victims are at… such you can tell when they are getting away or healing? This is somewhat psychic I think?

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    1. ABB, your meme is brilliant. And yes, it is only fantasy. I do not believe, that HG can heal anymore. For me he is only a lost soul. His own prison is so strong, there is no escaping. He must be genius, if he escapes his own Alcatraz.

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  3. I feel for the little boy trapped inside of you. He should have grown loved and protected, he should never have experienced abuse. Yet he did, and nothing can change that.

    Some say you are perfect as you are, some say you are a victim of circumstances and cannot help yourself, some say you deserve our pity instead of our wrath.

    I do feel compassion for you, but my compassion ENDS the moment you choose to let the innocent pay for the crimes of others!! Driven by the need for fuel, your actions are nevertheless choices… even conscious choices in your case, which makes them all the more insidious. Your freedom ends when you endanger someone else’s freedom and well-being. As simple as that.

    You became a carbon copy of your abuser when you could have chosen to rise above that and be the exact opposite. You chose the easy way out for yourself, just repeating what you have witnessed and experienced. That is the coward’s way! You have the potential to carve a new path out for yourself. Be brave and you will reap the rewards!

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    1. Yes! MatriNarc lives on forever thru him. All of HG’s victims are more for her too. Ending her truly, means ending the cycle and being what she could never be.

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      1. I can’t answer that. But if HG’s methods are his methods that he feels makes him efficient, he’s channeling her imprint on him whether she’s around or not.

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      2. MLA I don’t know if you agree but it is a vicious circle? .

        My mother & to an extent my dad were both abusive .

        I made a conscious decision that my children would never have the same childhood I had & I’ve stuck to it . My children love me & importantly know I’m there when they need me .

        HG I suppose has found his way of coping with rejection as we all do sadly .x

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      3. Awareness is the key. Once a person is aware and can get the resources they need to realize they have choices, that’s when destructive behavior can be pushed away.

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      4. Exactly! The ‘mother’ gets her satisfaction from knowing that she moulded him into what he is today. She surely takes the credit for that, and consequently, for everything he has achieved in life.

        The best revenge would be to show her that she was NOT successful at turning him into a bitter man who is so full of hate, that there is no room for anything else. But this is hard work, and it takes time.

        But, oh my gosh… sometimes, when I read about how callously he treats those women, my empathy fades and I want to smack him hard to erase the smugness… thinking that he, *he of all people*, should know better! That’s when I know I need to get back to my books, or watch a puppy video for my emotional well- being! šŸ™‚

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  4. This makes me feel pity. Pity for the child that cannot escape. Anger also, because of the adult that cannot open the gates of bondage for that child.
    I find myself at a cross roads now, between the two, for my ex. I am still angry. Angry at what he puts everyone through because he refuses, and is unable to see the truth for what it is. Pity, on the other hand, although I feel it for him now somewhat, is not yet deserved. Im not ready to give that emotion away to him also. No. He has taken enough.
    I can walk away…….he gets no more from me.

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