The Narcissistic Truths – No. 201

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36 thoughts on “The Narcissistic Truths – No. 201”

  1. Love the artwork! Is there such thing as an IPTS IPFS… third and fourth intimate sources like the IPSS? I imagine that would be very difficult to uphold.

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      1. Lol alcohol. You wrote About narcissism and alcoholism. After emotional abuse, I’m curious on your take about victims turning to it as a coping mechanism.

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  2. Yes, of course it did. I always heard by my mother, I was not good enough. Each emotional thing I did was wrong. When I wanted to defend myself against someone who insulted or hurt me I was bad. When I asked someone to give back things to me he or she stole I was bad, because I should show compassion for the poor children. When I owned a thing, which I really loved, my mother was envious to the thing and gave it away to the poor children or destroyed it. When I was successful, she said, it is nothing special and I should not be proud of it. I should be much more modest. It would be a bad habit to show some proud! When I did a failure, she always remembered me of that failure and acted as if the world would break down because of a little failure. When I tried to get to know myself and for example wanted to play an instrument she always remembered me of the costs. I was not allowed to stop then, I had to do it further and further although I noticed that was not something I really liked. I talk about a recorder, not an expensive instrument! She did not see me as an individual. She saw an object that she could create like she wanted. I had to feel her feelings, not mine. My feelings were ignored. Each feeling that would show I am an individual was topic of a big fight. Is it a wonder that I “loved” a man, who said in the golden period: “You are alright, as you are?” A man who seemed to be the same like me? And that man said: “Yes, you have lovable character traits.”

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  3. I must say..you are a excellent writer. You certainly have a unique style and creative mind…expressing your thoughts,feelings,and how you think and why you do what you do..I am able to understand better but not
    totally yet..what makes you and the other Narcissists tick..
    I have always wondered how my X narcissist knew what type of personality to put on for me …how did he know..and I did not…I never said or ever really thought I had a man of my dreams…like most women do..But meeting him.,,and then falling in love
    With his personality..I said to myself..HE IS THE MAN OF MY DREAMS..THAT I NEVER KNEW I HAD A MAN OF MY DREAMS..TILL HIM..it boggles my mind..how could he know..I didn’t even know…!!!
    Well readING what you wrote…now I know…I also know now after 6 years..it’s not real..from what I have been researching on Narcissist sociopath..Bizarre feeling I feel right now..my eyes are opening more with understanding as I gain more knowledge on what really transpired between my undercover lover and I..I think of him in that term now..UNDER COVER LOVER.. IT WAS ALL FAKERY AS YOU PUT IT…
    AND HE WAS MIRRORING ME? NEW WORDS FOR ME..SO HE WAS REALLY BEING ME..SO TO SPEAK..AND WE ARE FALLING INLOVE WITH OURSELVES? OK IM TRYING TO GRASP THIS..
    IT SEEMS TO ME YOU ENJOY WRITING…YOU ARE ABLE TO EXPRESS YOUR SELF IN YOUR WRITING..YOUR DEEP INNER THOUGHTS AND FEELINGS ARE PUT OUT CLEARLY..BETTER THEN CONVERSATING ..I FEEL A URGENCY AND PASSION IN YOUR WRITING..I FEEL LIKE YOU HAVE THIS NEED,YEARNING,AND ALMOST LIKE ITS EXPLODING OUT OF YOU..IT HAST TO COM OUT..BE SAID BE ACKNOWLEDGED..LIKE ITS BEEN WAITING A LONG TIME ..LIKE A PRESSURE COOKER..BUILDING UP…BUILDING UP…THEN SCREAM ING. IT ALL OUT..
    PLEASE DONT TAKE THAT AS A INSULT
    ..

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  4. Yes, if there is something I have learned from my relationship with the Narcissist is to complete myself.
    Also, since I started reading you, HG, I am getting more in touch with my “narc side” and is doing me good! I like it!

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  5. Now I know, that my mother is not capable to feel empathy or love. She tries to do, not like you HG, she really tries, but she does not understand what it is.She wants to be a very good person and she copies empathy but she fails very often. I am not allowed to leave her, she depends on me on one hand, on the other hand she thinks I am her property. She does not hate people. I have never seen that. She knows sadness, she knows depression, she knows and feels fear, she knows joy. She is envious and jealous . The last character traits she denies. She wants to be a good person. And those both character traits are bad. She is not full of anger and fury. She manipulates a lot, playing the guilty and the victim card. She projects her feelings a lot to others. She denies to accept or to see that people are all different and have different feelings to her own feelings. She is not able to accept that people are sad, when someone very close to them dies. Why should another person feel sadness to the dying person, when she is not sad? Or why should a person be happy, when she is sad? All people have to have her emotions and opinions. It is a very strange emotional and intellectual handicap. There is a huge lack of empathy and sensitivity. And a huge lack of awareness. I do not know where it comes from. My grandmother was different. My grandfather died in second world war. It is told, that he was a sunny boy. She is very similar to you HG in many points, the difference is, she really wants to be a good person, she really believes she is better than any other person, she has better character traits than any other person, she is a saint. She believes, she is so good, that her place is right next to God in heaven.

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  6. Good morning HG,
    This is a beautiful meme. I enjoy reading about the mirroring that happens in these relationships. And here you have summed it up with one picture.

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  7. She cannot cut the umbilical cord and it seems as if she is my infant in some way. I have to nurse her and to feed her and to serve her needs.

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      1. Yeah, weird, isn’t it, BraveHeart? It takes a demon to make you aware of how valuable you are as a person.

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      2. It sure does, Matilda. I’ve dealt with Lesser and Victim Narcs my entire life and thankfully I’ve learned new things about myself from each one of them. Never in a million years though, after escaping the earlier Narcs, would I have ever believed I would get entangled with another one, but I also never knew they could be of the incredibly charming (Greater) kind. This last one (the Greater) truly showed me my entire worth, and out of them all, I consider him to be the most evil. I hate what I’ve endured over the years, but I’m also extremely grateful to now know who I am and what my worth genuinely is. I’m also extremely grateful to HG because he sincerely has saved my life after this last entanglement. It’s ironic to me that one Greater nearly destroyed me and another one has saved me. I know HG isn’t necessarily doing it for any of us, but I do know “my” God led me to him and his blog. I always love reading your posts Matilda and please always take care of yourself!

        BraveHeart 💘

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      3. A “demon” has told me more about my worth through his writing than my parents or anyone for that matter has ever shown me. At least here my traits are appreciated eloquently through word before it is explained why they must be abused for someone elses need. But dont worry-I never lose sight of the facr that they would be, given the chance. I have no delusion that there would be any other result.

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      4. Thank you, BraveHeart, for your kind words. It is good to know that my thoughts resonate with you. I have also learned a lot here, from you and others… and, contrary to my expectations, laughed a lot, too! 😀

        The Lessers are easy to spot and to avoid. The upper Mid-Rangers and Greaters blend in so effortlessly, there are no obvious red flags to the untrained eye. We would probably spot them sooner now, armed with knowledge, but this does not mean that we would never fall prey to them again. It worries me to think that I would not be able to immediately distinguish between a genuinely nice person and a sophisticated narc!

        Yes, knowledge changes everything, doesn’t it? It is life-saving, as you rightly point out. HG provides real answers, and I am grateful for that. It is a gift. And I like to think that he redeems himself to a degree by sharing his expertise.

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      5. NarcAngel,

        I thought of my narc when I wrote that, not HG. Though, if one looked closely, one would probably find him to be the chief demon! 😀

        Sometimes, when I am in a more peaceful mood than usual, the thought of redemption being available to all crosses my mind… but I tried and failed with mine, it cost me dearly… so, I promised myself a peaceful, narc-free life, somewhere deep in the swamp, where I would live alone and could be as grumpy as my heart desired! 😀

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  8. What level of fuel source are we? Are we tertiary or further out and how far out? I am sure you answered this before and sorry I missed this detail. Curious.

    Oh my, is that me, as I turn to look at my backside with a smile.

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