38 thoughts on “The Narcissistic Truths – No. 202”

      1. But tears can also be a source of positive fuel for you. For example, in that story you told about your old girlfriend crying with gratitude upon receipt of a beautiful necklace from you.

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      2. I have done this to people because as much as I love making someone cry and knowing I am the cause of their pain, it also simultaneously disgusts me because it is a sign of weakness.

        I will often make someone cry then turn around and berate them for having the gall to do it in front of me.

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      3. Oh Bloody! You best not be around when I shed the waterworks then. It’s not soap opera pretty. It’s ugly with puffy eyes and red splotches and hyperventilating. I’d send you running from the room.

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      4. Clarece,

        May I first say that your new profile picture is most alluring. You were not kidding when you said you had piercing blue eyes. Beautiful.

        It would depend on why you were crying. If you were crying as a result of a situation that had nothing to do with me, I would likely become angry and ask why you were inflicting your sorrow upon me in this fashion.

        My sister called me crying after a fight with her husband once and my response was, “I cannot deal with you in your emotional state so please get your shit together then call me back when you speak coherently.”

        While it was gratifying to know my sister was in pain and hurting, it was not me who drove her to the point of incoherent rambling and sobbing, and so I got little from it in terms of fuel. I was more irritated at the fact that she interrupted something important I was doing with her problems.

        I could provide a shoulder to cry on but it would be more for my benefit and to use against you later on should you decide to try to tell people how awful I am.

        If I was the one to make you cry, I would get tremendous satisfaction from the display while simultaneously being disgusted by the overt display of weakness and lack of self control.

        If you decided to make a scene in public, I would quickly turn the situation around on you in order to make it look like you are unhinged, unstable and irrational in order to garner sympathy from bystanders. I would likely coddle and comfort you while saying things like, “Okay, okay obviously it was too soon to bring you into town. We best get you home and back in bed so you can rest” loud enough for others to hear me.

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      5. You do realize I was busting your chops a bit?! lol I have my reinforcements for those rare, emotional meltdowns for support. No need to burden you.
        I was wondering if you were going to respond to the post I answered your questions on. Thank you Love on my eyes. My daughter inherited my blue eyes so that part carries on.
        I don’t lie or embellish Bloody. I don’t have to.

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      6. HG, the context? When they had hurt me or we were fighting and I would cry and then just “stop, or I will leave” (the house) …
        But now you mention it … my ex-narc actually did “suffer” through hours of me crying … the one and only time I feel asleep in his arms actually (not that he wouldn’t complain about that the next day) … hmmm……
        Funny. Maybe those were the lower narcs who told me to stop.

        I also learned never to cry in front of my narc parents as long as I can think, because they wouldn’t care and make fun of it. I learned that by watching what happened to my sisters.

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      7. I certainly appreciate your answers to my questions Clarece. I was not surprised by them and I do believe that you and I would get along quite famously in the real world.

        I do not know you outside of this space, but I can tell you are different from other “empaths.” In some ways, it is possible we may be a bit similar. I am certain we could both learn from one another and I think it is fair to say that, in this space, we already have.

        I was only trying to explain how I feel about crying as for me, while I do get some satisfaction from it, it mostly irritates and disgusts me.

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      8. In contrast to many of the other commentators here, I don’t know that I would label myself an “Empath”. I do know I operate with a moral compass and I experience the full range of emotions from happiness to rage, and can do so quite intensely.
        I am curious to how you find us possibly similar? In the respect that you or I are not ones to back down from a confrontation? That would be my guess.
        Enjoy your day!!

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      9. You picked up on what I was trying to say exactly, Clarece – I do not know if I would quite label you an empath either. 🙂

        We are both strong-headed women solid in our convictions.
        We are both opinionated and express ourselves unabashedly.
        We are both outspoken and courageous.
        We both stand our ground – neither of us would back down from a confrontation.

        We are both intelligent and witty and beautiful.

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      10. Hello Bloody!
        That’s along the lines of what I thought! In other words, we are both Alpha Females. (But I’m the cute one. You’re probably the “Looker”). I sincerely appreciate hearing how you perceive me in this arena. It is very complimentary. Thank you!

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  1. I did cry when my friend turned out to be a devil itself. But he never saw my tears. He was cowardly able to communicate through text messages so no opportunity to see my shock. The biggest coward on the planet. I cried mainly because of my anger. I kicked him out from my life the same moment I learned what he was. No regrets, the hoover from that person is unlikely; he vanished after my ‘treatment’ and belittling him most likely he has other fuel source(s). I called him out on his abuse (lies, manipulation and backstabbing) and informed what cold blooded psycho he is. I would never allow him to go back to my life and I informed him both about NC and the fact he is OUT FOREVER. I will never forgive him. I learned pretty late in my life that such people exist. It was a shocking discovery. I find it fascinating thus is why I keep coming to HG and his blog.

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  2. HG, which interpretation is the right one?
    1. You are deeply fueled again.
    2. You project your own pain onto others and get rid of your pain.
    3. You start to feel a little bit empathy towards people.
    Maybe it is a combination or maybe I am totally wrong. I am curios to your answer.

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      1. HG, don`t be surprised about my question. I feared that someone would interpret it in a different manner. I only wanted your clearly statement. I don`t know why I did not ask straight away.

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  3. Hi Tudor!
    I know that… i fall in cry only 2 times in front of him and he has a grin in his mouth as a conquer… the first time he told me that he didn’t deserve my tears. That’s true.
    …for all the other times that i cried i was lonely or with my best friends but i didn’t show my tears to him.
    Now i don’t cry anymore for him.

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  4. Don’t Cry for Me Argentina…..
    HG, just curious, when is the last time you cried? I was with my ex N when he was told his father died and he made the sounds of crying, put his face in this hands, threw himself on the lawn but I NEVER saw actual tears. Does your kind ever cry (besides tears of joy when you’re hurting us)?

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  5. HG, why do you like the negative fuel? Is is because you know you’ve hurt us and we are upset?? I totally understand the positive!! Who wouldn’t want positive;). I’ve been doing so much reading and writing of my own. I so feel like 2 steps forward, 10 steps back. Hopefully, I can get 30 steps ahead soon!!! Thanks again !

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  6. My last two crying spells with him resulted in him becoming very physically tense and rigid. I thought the response odd, as he literally ran away.

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