Why We Target You
When we set our sights on acquiring our appliances to fuel us, it stands to reason that we dedicate the greatest amount of time to the person who is going to be our primary source of fuel. Of course the amount of time dedicated to this depends on the relevant narcissist but all of our kind are looking for certain traits which are prevalent to empathic individuals. There are certain core traits which exist in empathic individuals. Normal people will have some of these traits, probably not all and they will not have the traits to the extent and degree of an empathic person. Thus, this is why normal people are rarely made our primary sources. There are also traits which are known as class traits. These are the traits which appeal to the relevant cadre of narcissist, be that person a Victim, Somatic, Cerebral or Elite Narcissist. The core traits are hugely important to us. Their existence provides us with the three key elements that we take from our victims. Firstly, these traits means that the fuel provision will be high because of their connection to the emotional output from the victim. Secondly, there are certain residual benefits that come from these traits which we want. Thirdly, by attaching ourselves to somebody who has these traits we can pretend we have them too. We do not have these traits. Therefore we want to take them from you to apply to our construct and pass them off as belonging to us. Since we are experts and copying, we do not have these traits for ourselves and we do not feel them, but we are able to replicate what they look like by studying how you behave, because you have these traits. We then apply this to our own behaviour in order to maintain the façade. This fools other people into thinking that we are honest, decent and loving. It also enables us to mirror your traits and reflect them back at you so that you think we have them also. This makes us all the more appealing to you and ensures that you are bound closer to us. Accordingly, identifying these core traits in our victims is extremely important. The more of these traits that you have, the better. The more of these traits that you have, the greater the likelihood of being ensnared by our kind. A combination of the core traits and the class traits appearing in the way you behave and act draws our kind to you. We sense and see these traits and lock our sights on you as a prospective primary source.
There are ten of these core traits. The ideal is to find a victim who has all ten core traits and exhibits them to a considerable degree. We would then also want them to exhibit the relevant class traits which match with the type of narcissist that we are.
The Lesser Narcissist is unaware of these traits but like a hungry wolf sniffing out food he can sense the existence of these traits and know that the person exhibiting them is somebody he wants with him.
The Mid-Range Narcissists recognises these traits as admirable traits for a person to have. He sees them as plus points in the same way as someone might regard someone who is interested in art, travel and classical music, as a good match to start dating. The Mid-Range knows that he values these traits but he does not know the fundamental reason why he is drawn to them.
The Greater Narcissist knows what these traits are and why they are important. He knows the function that they play, he knows better than anybody else how to detect them and the places where (“the hunting grounds”) people can be found who will have these core traits and also the class traits. The Greater can sniff out the existence of these traits and match the target to them before moving in to ensnare that person.
So, what are these traits? Well, here are five of the ten by way of example. It is highly likely that you will have all five of these traits and you will have them in significant amounts because that is why you were ensnared by a narcissist to begin with.
Love Devotee – we require our targets to be committed to the concept of love. You want to find love, experience love, love and be loved. The idea of love is central to your existence and you truly believe that our purpose on this earth is to love others. Not only does this mean loving those around but above all else you believe in the fulfilment that arises from having that one special person who you are committed to, who you will do anything for and who you will make sacrifices for. The existence of love is a reason, to you to exist and therefore you must find it and once located, obtain it and maintain it. We want love devotees because your dedication to love often blinds you to so much else and accordingly by pretending to give you love we can hook into this trait of yours and it allows us to ensnare you all the more readily.
Compassionate – our target must exhibit compassion. This compassion must be mainly for us although we are content for it to be exhibited for other people and objects such as animals, in order to detect it. If we identify that someone cares more about animals and things and not people however we do not consider that this fulfils our requirement. At an early juncture, if we see evidence of compassion for animals it generally (but not always) follows that this person will be compassionate towards humans as well.
Decent – We look for decent people. People who are well-mannered, polite and understanding. People who have consideration for others, wait their turn in speaking, allowing others to take a slice of cake before anyone else, giving to charity and conducting him or herself in a dignified manner. Decency is an attractive trait because it tells us that you will adhere to certain standards and that you also expect us to do the same. This matters because we know that this is often indicative of the fact that you are therefore unlikely to give up on us when the going gets rough.
Moral Compass – we prefer a person with a strong moral compass, somebody who would hand a wallet to the police with the contents intact if they found such an item in the street or they would alert the shop assistant if they were handed too much change. This person is monogamous and faithful and believes others should conduct themselves by a similar moral code. Again, this tells us that you are far more likely to hang in there once devaluation starts and our behaviour will offend your moral compass so there will be the accompanying emotional reaction and thus copious fuel.
Caring – an individual who will always look after somebody else. Whether it is through working to provide for us, running the home in an excellent manner, looking after us when we are ill and being concerned about our well-being, the caring trait is very important and must be evident in our primary source especially. Not only will this tell us that you will want to look after us but it also signals to us that when we begin the devaluation of you, you will want to fix us and heal us and therefore you will keep plugging away, trying to do the right thing. It also tells us that we can expect considerable residual benefits from you in terms of you looking after us, which accords with our view of how you should be, subservient and obedient.
63 thoughts on “Why We Target You”
How is it with physical attraction, how much does it count? Do you lie about it ??
Physical attraction is a part of the process as it is a class trait. Physical attraction varies in importance dependent on the cadre of the narcissist. Please see the book “Sitting Target” to understand more.
So brian…im curious…are u feeling empathy or envy?
😉 which side of the fence are you on ?
Envy for who?
I consider myself to be mostly empathic. I do have some narcissistic tendencies (as does every human being on the planet).
For instance negative fuel, I used to be into prank calls, which are all about trolling, trollling is negative fuel.
So i have the capacity to enjoy negative fuel, but I wouldn’t do anything to actually hurt someone just to see their pain and feel powerful.
Pranks are harmless.
I get envious of people from time to time but I think everyone else does too.
Would you mind sharing how your relationship destroyed your career and business?
I presume it was the salami slicing method that HG talks about ?
Where they dangle the golden period above your head ….if only you would quit your job..or spend less time on that silly business.
Would it be a great thrill to get a beautiful woman who had a great career, and reduce her to nothing, as opposed to doing it to a woman who didn’t have much going for her?
Yes so long as it accorded with what I required.
That was me…. im still picking up the pieces.
It’s crazy and uncanny what he did to me in 10 years….
But i will be back…better than before somehow, some way.
Yes, I have seen comments on youtube along the lines of:I had my own business or a great career….and then my relationship destroyed me :/
I had both! My own Business and a seperate teaching career.
Both gone …. for now…
I left you a comment down there…accidentally just outta thread…. wanted to make sure you saw it…. 🙂
I have all 5 traits. I’ve also usually been strong and independent. I’ve wondered how I managed to get ensnared by the last one especially as you often talk about co-dependents. I definitely got caught by a very clever narc. I am however gradually gaining strength. soon it’ll be full steam ahead and will get very very interesting. As yet I haven’t got angry despite being discarded in an extremely nasty manner in August but I can feel it brewing.
If a IPSS has the above traits mentioned why might they be kept as a IPSS for almost 3 years before becoming a primary source-even if they were living in the same town? Also, do they not wonder why they are not being taken to all holidays, meeting the family, spending all weekends together?
1. There was an existing primary source keeping the IPSS in place;
2. The IPSS may have been competing with an even better IPSS who secured the IPPS position;
3. The IPSS whilst possessing the traits did something which meant that whilst a good source of fuel the narcissist felt they could not become an IPPS at that juncture.
Yes an IPSS may very well wonder as you have described.
So if this IPSS decided to go her way, no harm done and you would let her go or would you prevent this? And when I say you I mean your kind
It really comes down to it doesn’t effect your fuel intake and they can be easily replaced is what I am getting at. Or am I wrong in this assessment of things?
If the IPSS decided to escape it may not matter because it occurs when the IPSS has been placed on the shelf and our attention is elsewhere. It is highly unlikely to happen when we are engaging with them because that is in a golden period.
Would you try and resume things once you discovered they escaped? I would not see them going no contact like the IPPS would
Depends on fuel needs.
Do you mean in your need of or if you were already fueled?
Sorry about the questions Maybe it would just be best to actually talk with you sometimes lol.
In terms of need.
I doubt that happens often with you
Yup, have all 5 in abundance. Cant wait to tlread the rest. 🙁
Following comments …
Is a will to live seen as a strength or weakness or not seen at all?
It is not a consideration appertaining to my victims Twilight that invades my thoughts.
At the risk of seeming unapreciative, why do you offer us your insight? Obviously not out of the “goodness in your heart”; stated as non-existant. Are we [readers] a side-source?
Also, I’ve often wondered if “your kind” can sense if “our kind” has already been victimized.
Like a lone sheep in a pack of wolves, it finally dawns on me…
You’re actually gaining insight of the trauma “your kind” causes in the aftermath. As much as I hate it… that’s brilliant!
It appeals to me to weaponise empaths to engage with my kind on a massive scale.
Yes we can sense if you have already been tenderised before hand – see Sitting Target and the special traits.
But why does it appeal?
And that can’t be all..
Because it accords with my god-like stature, moving and manipulating people on the world’s chessboard. From my keyboard I am causing people to gain knowledge and from that knowledge they then rise up, shake off their shackles and in some cases go to war with my kind. How about that for influence?
It is also building a steadfast base of loyal followers that should you ever decide it is the time to go public with your real identity as the man behind this work, you will have a long standing fan base to counter whatever may be dealt with personally on the home front with such a revelation. Many untapped fuel lines to harness in when need be due to people’s gratitude towards you for your help and guidance. Just an observation…
Thank you Clarece, I appreciate you stating as such.
Interesting. Interesting bird HG.
I am glad to be under your influence HG. It’s very safe for me here.
Thank you SW, I appreciate you stating as such and you are correct to feel that way.
Q: How about that for influence?
A: Excellent. Superb. Liberating.
Thank you 🙂 xxx
Well I’m looking to gain a few Narc traits. I have learned a lot here.
“NO” is being said with a little more ease these days as my fury has been ignited. 😡
All that list did was get me in trouble.
Really, HG? I am not yet feeling your powerful and irresistible seduction. I have so much fuel to give! 🙂
Well, HG, I have all core traits and class traits for the elite, and I am strong and independent. When do you want to start playing? 🙂
Had you not realised we already had begun IL?
Thank you, HG!
HG, my narc said he liked a strong woman like me. What did he mean? Do your kind prefer strong and independent women?
It is the fuel which matters. Some strong and independent woman provide excellent fuel which appeals to some of our kind. Some do not. It depends on the individual victim and the type of narcissist.
Was it you, HG, who said that this might also be an extra challenge? My personal exnarc e. g. said to me _after_ he had kicked me to the ground, that he thinks he might need an Amazone.
I did. I like the strength and independence AS LONG AS there are necessary traits. So long as there is no fuel crisis, resistance from a target which is well worth the fuel is a delightful prospect. Then the games can really begin.
Now I know. You must have been in a fuel crisis because it’s definitely not the idea of my fuel being inferior. Or I got game and you bowed out to avoid a loss.
You are a tertiary source that is the determining factor. Nothing to do with a fuel crisis or ‘getting game’.
Wow. I know my place. Thanks for the reminder though. You don’t like jokes?
I do. I have an excellent sense of humour.
I’m being cheeky again HG. Thanks for that reminder of my place though.
Always content to oblige.
Thank you, HG, for those compliments for us. Yes, they make us so attractive for your kind. Thank you for the appreciation of us and of course for your warning. It is sad that you cannot belong to us. I am now full aware of what your kind is. And I hope I will stay away in future. The shock is gone and my fury against my personal devil decreases. My own narcissistic traits are under control again. Thank you for that. I don`t know where my fury and his fury otherwise would have ended.
I understand why your kind seek out these traits in others (for fuel of course as well as a mask in mirroring), but it doesn’t appear to be a true admiration. Or is it? Do you really admire these traits?
It is not a true admiration, no.
Disgust? Envy? A mix?
You find these traits weak and what makes one vulnerable. Yet these are also the traits you seek to mimic to add to your construct and reap the benefits of positive attention that brings.
Don’t choose the weak traits.
How does one do that when they are all awesome traits?
Disgust and envy are not awesome traits Clarece.
Those were not the traits I was referring to that you have to mimic and steal from us. You contain plenty of envy and disgust on your own, therefore you just declared yourself Un-Awesome.
I am awesome even with envy and disgust, so go me!
Which traits were you referring to?
do you find these traits difficult to locate in someone? it seems more and more people lack empathy all the time and it may be a dying breed.
if that is the case does that concern you? to think that which you require in another individual is rapidly becoming a rarity?
I think of it in terms of eating off a species, because it is so delicious.. how could you possibly help yourself? Isn’t there concern of consuming the empaths until there are none left?
No not at all, see Sitting Target as to why.