The Narcissistic Truths – No. 205

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17 thoughts on “The Narcissistic Truths – No. 205”

    1. Since you asked so nicely GG.

      I was not provided with (judged by others) the appropriate role model and was in effect abandoned. A child will walk in their parent or parents’ footprints until they make their own on becoming an adult. I had to make them as a child as I had none to follow in an appropriate fashion.

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      1. Thank you for the answer. I do not buy that a bad or good childhood has anything to do with making narcs. Narcs are born already programmed to be terminators. The irony that they do not know why they work so hard 24/7 to destroy specific kind of entities in human bodies!

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      2. Me, too. It made me unsure of my own identity. I was oppressed for a long time, and did not know anything, (not even normal common sense), when I finally got out of there. I did not know anything that regular people already know about. And, except for the abuse, there was total neglect of love, food, basic care, and neglect of being taught simply how to go about the daily activities of living.

        My mom used to cut my passive, shell-shocked dad with a knife, and just leave the blood all over the bathroom sink for me to see, without ever cleaning it up. Insanity at our house was definitely the norm. I became withdrawn, and learned to live inside my own world, where I could be safer.

        She blamed me for a family member painfully raping me when I was 13 yrs old, when the psychologist finally made me tell her. Stupid psychologist.

        My mother was “a demon” to me. I was so scared of her- petrified of “the demon”. This is why I tried to kill her when I was 14 yrs old, by putting Cockroach Poison in her bottle of whiskey. I was hoping it would be like Christmastime when I got home from school that day, in that I’d find “the demon” dead, and gone forever, and I would not live in terror, anymore. The school bus dropped me off at home, and to my desperation, she was still well, and alive. She had smelled “something strange” with the whiskey, and did not drink it.

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      3. But, you learned Common Sense; this, I did not even learn. I knew nothing. Everything was opposite and confusing amongst the insanity from whence I grew up. Insanity was normal, and normal was nonexistent. I lived my life through books, and novels, (and, a typewriter)- closed up inside my bedroom- from 14-18 years old- many years my bedroom was my refuge. I was scared to come out, except to hurriedly bathe. I lived on Polish Sausage, bread, 💦 water, canned tuna, and canned vegetables 🥕 🥒. My friend was my radio, in which I listened to Talk Radio just to hear their familiar voices, year after year.

        I loved my books, and typewriter! I was happy in my room! When my mom went to hospital for her routine overdoses, I could come out of my room and look around at everything, and see what things looked like. I could touch things, strike a few keys on the piano, go in the backyard, touch the grass, and see the pool water shimmering in the sun’s rays.

        Then when I would hear my dad pull up in the driveway, with my mom, I’d find myself back inside my bedroom, again- door closed, huddled in the farthest corner. She always came back despite her overdoses. But, each time, I always had hope that she would succeed.

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      1. Hm.. 3 brief reasons you believe so.. And do you think he’s a lesser, mid range, or greater narcissist according to how you categorize them?

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  1. My personal devil had no one to follow too. His parents hated each other or behaved as if they hated each other but stayed together. Both could not let go the other one. It was some kind of strange love or addiction, what connected them. My personal devil was the “nothing” between them, they simply forgot him sometimes because of their rage against each other. One time he should achieve huge aims, another time he was too stupid for anything, the next time he was ignored, the day after he got big presents, the overnext day his father said yes and his mother no, the day after they changed their minds and the mother said yes and the father no. One day he should behave and think like an adult, when he was five years old, later he was treated as three year old child when he was eleven and so on. And they always used him as a dustbin for their feelings and their moods. It was a total emotional chaos in which he lived. It explains a lot. No orientation and no genuine attention towards him.

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  2. HG,

    What do you think of GG’s comment above that narcissists are born and not a product of their upbringing? I personally disagree but that is based only on my own experience.

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    1. Hello RS45, this is an ongoing debate and an interesting one. I do not think it is a case of saying we are born and there is no other influencing factor. I think it is more complex and is an amalgam of genetics and environment.

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      1. I think it is very complex as well. I have an identical twin who I believe is what you describe as a mid-range narcissist. I often struggle to understand how we ended up so different despite identical genetics and a very similar upbringing.

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  3. Got it. You are addressing the parent or guardian of the narcissist in this one. No footprints to fill. In your case you chose MatriNarc as a model.

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