A Terrible Trio

a-terrible-trio

1. There is me. I am the fire.

All through your involvement with my kind you will be worked into a triangle. There will be one major triangle, smaller triangles, intersecting triangles and then triangles within triangles. Many people know to look out for our cycle of narcissistic behaviour but they do not always realise that our favourite shape is a triangle.

I am at the apex of this triangle. A fitting place of course since I naturally must be at the top. I am the conductor, the orchestrator of this triangle and I decide who fits within at also the roles that the unwitting participants have been prescribed. I am the fire in this triangle, for without me the triangle will not operate. I provide the ignition through my flames but without the other two parts my flames will soon be extinguished. The other members of this triangle are important though of course they are not as important as me, but you know that by now.

As head of the triangle I get to decide who does what. I often begin by assuming the mantle of victim. I have been sorely done to by another and I need to be rescued from their horrible and harmful behaviour. Of course this is all manufactured but because my route to you is direct and seductive, you will listen to me. You will feel sorry for my situation because as an empathic person this is what you do best. You hear my story and accept it without condition or question. I choose to be the victim in the initial triangle in order to draw you in.

As time goes on I no longer wish to be the victim because, well, I never was. I prefer to become the dominant force inside the triangle and assume my rightful position as the aggressive perpetrator but such is the brilliance of my ruse, you will be spending all of your time looking sympathetically at me, thinking I am the victim, whilst casting aspersions at The Other, thinking that she is the perpetrator. My powers of illusion are significant and extensive and they are at work here.

2. There is you. You are the fuel.

Next comes you at the base of the triangle, beneath me and level with The Other. This is the rightful order of things. Your role in this triangle is at first to be the rescuer. You are kind, honest and caring and I want those attributes directed towards me, hence my tale of my terrible treatment at the hands of The Other. Like some fairy godmother or white knight, you arrive in order to save me from this fabricated menace. Only you can save me and my gratitude and false love gushes forth in order to ensnare you further. You may ride in as a rescuer but it will not be long before I change your role to that of victim. I pass my mantle onto you. Of course I have blinded you with my seduction techniques and also distracted you with the malice of The Other so that you do not notice this sleight of hand. You are too busy keeping The Other at bay, preventing him or her from hurting me further. Yet, as time goes on, I stop speaking of them in such harsh and accusing tones and instead I begin to sing their praises. What has happened? Surely they are the perpetrator and they should be avoided at all costs? Why am I spending time with them again and not you? Why am I comparing them to you and doing so in a favourable fashion towards them? This makes no sense. Whilst you were so busy keeping this apparent troublemaker away from our blissful kingdom I have removed your mantle of victim and this time made you the perpetrator, awful and nasty savage that you are. Throughout these changing labels there is one constant however, you provide me with fuel. From the praise, to the caring tenderness, to the bewildered confusion. Your fuel is offered up in order to keep my flames burning.

3. The Other. She is the air.

She begins as the perpetrator to allow you to rescue, a crazed harridan who made my life hell. Keep her away from me, do not believe anything she says, she is dangerous, poisonous and thank goodness I have you to keep her at bay. Stay with me and protect me. Just like a furnace it cannot operate with just flame and fuel, there must be air in order to fan the flames so that I can consume the fuel. Thus she is admitted into our dynamic and she completes our triangle, occupying a lower berth just like you. It is not long however before she becomes the victim of your repeated assaults and slanders as you fight to keep her at bay. Your consternation increases and you grow into the role of perpetrator as you become confused at the attention I provide to her as she becomes the victim and I her rescuer. At the same time I am telling her of the horrible treatment you subject me to (does this sound familiar at all?) and she is sympathetic to my situation. She rescues me as I return to victim once more as you remain the nasty perpetrator. The Other can see this for your efforts to prevent her from becoming close to me again convince her of your evil nature. Why else would you behave as you do? It cannot be anything to do with your desire to save you and I could it? It is nothing to do with the fact that you are completely confused as to what is going on, is it? The Other is taken in by my false apologies and my admission that I was misled by you as you promised me the world but delivered nothing. Her air escalates the intensity of the heat and the flames climb higher as flame, fuel and air combine to create a conflagration.

I sit at the apex of this arrangement, easily moving the titles of Victim, Perpetrator and Rescuer between us all, back and forth the titles go as this triangle continues, a perplexing and shifting state of affairs. I am the puppetmaster and both You and The Other are dancing to my tune as I triangulate you in order to gain what I require.

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31 thoughts on “A Terrible Trio”

  1. So a helpful entrance question for the bouncer might be “who are you with?”
    There’s a triangle in every nook and cranny. Get used to it.

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  2. What a waste of a life. We all have a limited life force and this is what you choose to harness all that energy for. Beyond pathetic. So addicted to people you are, so needy, yet all the while trying to pretend you are above them all. Reading this, your desperation is so clear. You may control these people for a time, but you are truly their slaves.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Absolutely High Octane Fuel

      The illusion doesn’ t belong only to the victims.. it belongs totally to the masters perpetrators .. they created it.. therefore they are not living it outside ..
      I think they are even in worse illusion.. .. because they think they are the masters controllers.. while all along they are controlled by many … because of the “elusive” fuel..

      I am mastering the game..
      😊

      Liked by 1 person

    2. Yes, and they hate what they are. Poor narcs. I thought it might be my problem, but I feel superior to all of them. When you finally get to know what they are, they seem so pathetic, clingy and needy. To be clear, in parallel, they can be smart and exciting too; my narc was great at his job, very talented guy. I was so happy to work with him. Good old times when I did not know who I am dealing with…
      Highly functioning psychopaths are so much better to deal with than narcs, they do not need anybody, and they eat other narcs alive. Even the greater ones. HG, maybe you could write something about narc-psychopaths dynamic from your perspective (if you know any, many CEOs fall into that category ~20%)?

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  3. Can the other be anyone, say a doctor, a child of the N? And can there be more than one triangle going on at the same time or is the other always another woman? I’m asking since ex victim narcissist definitely triangulated me with another woman, but also seemed to triangulate me with his kids and or caregivers… or might that have been just ordinary smearing/shit talking that I didn’t go to every single doc appt or held his hand every time he coughed, etc?

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      1. He looks like a cannibalistic serial killer, not sure about the ‘narc look’…maybe Maria refers to his eyes, they are evil and predatory, like my narc’s. Just different color.

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  4. Sorry, I meant your kind. I will wait in moderation for your reply and remind you in intervals in the event you forget.😊

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  5. HG,
    I want submit this as a question, maybe you will set it free. Julian Assange brilliant, bright, and charming appears to have npd. Handsome chap, I can’t tell if hair is blonde or grey. I always liken you to someone albeit Hugh Grant or the aussie. This will be my last and final, I liken you to Assange. Of course, final from a narcs perspective. 1 st reminder. 😊

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    1. Read more as a statement than a question but I will address the points nevertheless.

      1. Assange is a narcissist. Grandiose, paranoid, fails to recognise boundaries, perceives he is special (that he is being persecuted on a scale greater than anybody else), major sense of entitlement, manipulative, plenty of blame shifting.
      2. Cannot help you as to his real hair colour.
      3. I am nothing like Hugh Grant or Assange (save that the latter is one of the brethren).

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      1. I like Assange. I agree he has no boundaries or loyal to any one side at this time. I do feel at one time he had good intentions but was framed by our governments, hence the realization that he has no control. I also believe that perhaps there is a power that protects him, as with Snowden, and it could be one in the same.
        I believe he is Swedish, his hair was blond but now it is white/gray.

        I admire him for a number of reasons.

        A bit of insight of my experience. I and others went against Uncle Sam in the early 80’s.I settled the case in the 90’s We knew then that they had our every move. Laws were changed because of this situation. I was the example that was shown on the news every night for some time. I can’t say it was because of me in particular that had laws rewritten, but nonetheless, they were changed. I am now, and have been for many years, on the up and up and if they say jump I say how high. This is before electronics made it easy for them.

        I challenged the government. I guess I have always been a fighter.

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      2. You sound like you have a lot of disdain for Him. Just curious if you you doubt the authenticity of his findings on WikiLeaks.

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  6. HG
    Is not only you and your kind that triangulate, all humanity does, some for noble intentions and others for dishounorable malefic intentions.

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  7. The breeze of another golden period its in the spring blossoms..
    or is it not?
    illusion .. illusion .. illusion.. you are a charming witch..

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  8. HG Tudor
    It’ s hard to articulate a look
    However i can see the way his eyes gaze.. the semi- sensual mouth
    the impertinent nose .. even the shape of his face..
    it is all there in my perception..

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  9. There are positive sides to being subjected to all of the abuse we as eempath’s have to endure. I always look at the glass half full.
    1. They will drive you to change your own fuckedupness.
    2. They taught me a lot of rules to follow and live by. Like never suffer a petty tyrant and how to beat them with intellect and still keep your job.
    3. Always assert yourself and defend yourself if you fall into my particular category of people because chances are you are gonna be taken advantage of at some point.
    4. He taught me how to answer my ex and now I do it automatically. He is also a Narc. Narc against Narc. My ex has even passed a comment that I think like him now. Lol
    5. Never discuss your personal business in the work place. Look people dead in the face and say nothing. They will get it. Unless it is your superior and work related then you say nothing.
    6. You never announce your intentions. People that announce their intentions are weak. Yoda ….there is only do.
    7. Do not attempt to control others. Do not let others control you.
    8. When someone speaks about someone else then follows up with…..right? ?? Never respond to this.
    9. Always be a non conformists.

    Many many more.
    See it’s not all bad. I wish he told me to stay the Fuck away from him(oh wait he did) as he is guilty of not following g his own rules and especially the control one. Still and all !!! Always a positive. Take care and be responsible for your own shit.

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