18 thoughts on “The Narcissistic Truths – No 228”

  1. Don’t I know this sad state of affairs. No protector to run to when they are also the abuser. Narcissists who you thought you could count on end up destroying everything they built with you. The intimacy becomes too much for them to handle. The very thing they desire, that close caring relationship, they start to feel and they don’t want to be vulnerable in any way. So they push you away and project their own insecurities onto you. You are the problem. You make life difficult, you are destroying us. If they would allow you to get close to their inside, past the facade, then we could help make them feel secure enough to show their true self. We would be kind and nice with it and take care of that inner self. In other words, can I pet the creature? Feed it snacks? Take it for walks? Hug it and love it and squeeze it and call it George? 😽

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    1. ABB the first person to protect one is their mother/father, they groom them for this life, to keep repeating.
      Does it excuse the choices they make as adults knowing right from wrong. No it doesn’t.
      It is learning to break the cycle, so much anger and pain is involved. How does one learn to trust, when all they expect is for the shoe to drop once the infatuation is over.
      In controlling the environment they create the very environment to which they have no need to engage with any other emotions but hate, anger, and fear. The only ones they ever nurtured.
      Sadly thou the one responsible for this out come is the one that does not suffer.

      I liked what you posted I have no idea why I decided to ramble my thoughts off. I have a serious problem with the one who creates this person.

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      1. Lol stairway to heaven was the first thing that sprang to mind when I read LED Zeppelin

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  2. Anna Belle, based on HG’s writings, it does not appear narcissists desire an intimate relationship. My understanding is that all they desire are fuel, residual benefits, and character traits. As for an intimate relationship, they know this is how they can attain these aims, so they feign interest in developing one during the seduction, golden period, respite during devaluation, and when hoovering. However, they never desire an intimate relationship itself. Am I correct, HG?

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    1. IL
      I read articles in Psychology Today along with some on NIH. They all said that subconsciously the narcissist wishes to have an intimate relationship by golden period, love bomb, think it’s the one. Then as the person becomes closer to the narc and the narc senses it, they push the partner away. They do not wish to expose their vulnerability. So the intimacy they crave is shut down. They subconsciously remember that when they were children that vulnerability is bad. They associate it with intimacy. They go into predator/self protection zone. This is behind the desire of fuel. HG said you need fuel to keep facade. Facade is hiding true self. Vulnerable self. Intimate self. That’s why nobody gets to see the creature. It has to be protected from someone finding out it exists. If they find out about the creature then they won’t like him anymore….not true, that’s insecurity talking. He IS the facade. Creature is helpless child. He grew past the creature, but keeps that creature still inside. Time to let the creature go. You or HG do not have to agree. I’m just stating what I read.

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  3. Awesome work! HG if I were to say the hollowness, anger, & emptiness someone feels after a breakup is similar to the feeling of lack of fuel you feel, would you agree?

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    1. The sensation of emptiness sounds similar, but the lack of fuel leaves us feeling weak, restless, irritable, doom-laden, a sense of the world coming crashing in on its self.

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  4. Mine was joking with me the other day in another hoover attempt. I’d been taking it easy and he said how I had it so hard.

    I replied, ‘it’s the hard knock life for me N. instead of treated I get tricked, instead of kisses I get kicked’

    he said. I would never let anyone kick you or trick you.

    I was just laughing inside, thinking, no because you want to do the tricking and kicking !!

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  5. This is true. He fakes protection. I even had a dream before we got together that he was holding me in his arms and it was the most safest I’d ever felt in my whole life. I wasn’t even interested in him, so I think it was my guides or my son to come, urging us together.

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