40 thoughts on “The Heart Hooks No. 5”

  1. I never heard this one. When i used to inform him that i’m going to my mom’s home though, he would say that he would want to come along so we wouldn’t be apart.

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  2. I felt the emptyness WITH him. That’s what kept me digging into his words and actions, trying to find some solid ground. But there is none.
    The empytiness I feel now isn’t mine, it’s his. I was fed with it and it made a void in me. Filling it up with reasons, pathological definitions and other people stories doesn’t quite make up for it. It’s a trauma and it takes time and patience and silence.
    The last thing I want right now is another one of his sob stories and justifications. I’ve had enough. I don’t need anymore. I’m filling my life with real things and if I’m lucky one of these days it’ll all be forgotten.

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    1. Once I texted him that when he was with me that day I felt like I needed to put my arms around him to ground him, that I felt he was floating around in the air.

      I guess I always knew.

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  3. Kinda…needy? It also feels more BPD and less NPD…unless it is a line used specifically for hooking those who have signs of a BPD. Lord, this line would scare me. I would run like hell after hearing this one. I am a pretty independent woman. That level of needy gives me the willies. I had a past dating experience that had me (in his head) nearly married to him, and we didn’t even meet yet for our first date. That, my friend, led to me blocking him fast–a first date never happened.

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    1. HG,
      Have you ever felt protective of anyone? Even if the relationship ultimately went wrong? I think that is when I grasped something about both my narc friend and narc mother. They both lacked the instinct to protect. And it wasn’t just with me, but it seems, with anyone. I always vowed to be a Mama Bear with my child and so far, I have been. I wonder if missing that instinct to protect and defend is also a part of the missing empathy. Your mother failed to protect your emotions for example, by doing what she did. And yes, you don’t protect your victims, thats true in an obvious sense as you knowingly do things that hurt them. But have you ever felt protective of anything or anyone? is it an emotion you have? Make sense?

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      1. I repeatedly protect people. Not because I feel like I should for their sake but rather because it benefits me.
        One of the things that is guaranteed to gain massive admiration from people, especially the middle classes, is protecting them from physical violence.

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      2. Do you feel it though? Its not motivated out of feeling but out of gain? Would you ever protect a woman? Maybe only Amanda if the fantasy came true?

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      3. Yay HG!! You can be a good man, depending on circumstances, and despite your reasons! Are those too many if’s and but’s? Lol!!

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      4. HG,
        And you protect a lot of people here too, by teaching us how to recognize and leave abusive relationships. Very admirable!

        Sooooo, this also sounds like a job clue…..darn it, it could go several ways-political (making protective laws), millitary, law enforcement at a high level, organizational. Or, you are CHUCK NORRIS, with an accent 😂 Go and literally kick ass!!!

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      5. You aren’t saying enough other than your motivations for protecting are driven by a sense of gain. The need for fuel though…. Do you FEEL the connection between love and the need and desire to protect? You can’t feel love so is it a purely cognitive function that leads to protecting?

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  4. And you say you’re not a romantic…
    ❤❤❤
    Even if all these heart hooks are lies, where do the words originate from? If you have no heart, how do you know to say these things?
    I do not believe they are learnt by mimicking others.
    It is like someone saying they don’t know how to cook, yet they know every recipe out there.

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    1. It is through mimicry – see how literature, television, films has so many examples and of course the cleverest of us can invent phrases to achieve this. In the same way one knows how to cook a meal, you do not have to eat it.

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      1. I don’t know… There is much more to your writing than just words learned from mimicry. Most of your work is about love (or lack thereof). I may be a foolish romantic but I can’t attribute all your knowledge about the topic on outside sources.

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  5. I apologize for the misspellings. English is not my mother tongue, I am italian and I write everywhere. I don’t always have the time to double check my spelling. Too bad there’s no edit option. I hope the sense of what I want to say gets through.

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  6. Jenna,
    Oh? I missed that. Well, it would make sense though I suspect it’s complicated…like a mix of things. Military-political related business man, selling weapons and running spy work while throwing meat pies. 😂 He said he made profit, not sure how that works over there but here government work is “listed” as not profit.

    and, if he doesn’t want us to know, we won’t. 😉 It is fun guessing.

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    1. Indy, he said it had to do with political advising or something, if i recall correctly. But he could be lying and laughing at us! He is a narc after all! It is fun guessing though!

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      1. Oh! sorry, missed it. I find this format really hard to track responses sometimes, sorry! lol

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      2. Wait a min. Recalculating….**insert computer sounds**

        I asked you if there was a product involved and if I had one of these products in my house. And whether it was bigger than a “bread box” You said yes there is a product, some are quite bigger and if I had one in my house, my neighbors would “worry”. You also said that you work for a profit making agency.

        Or are you more of an ideas man that creates documents/laws and work for a government agency/department, which in the US is considered “nonprofit” (that’s a good laugh, huh?)

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