The Eight Exploitations of Empathy


You are an empathic individual. This is why we chose you. This is why we want people like you because you have certain traits which appeal considerably to us. You have traits which are ripe to be exploited by us and only someone like you can provide such an opportunity to our kind. You have certain traits which we need to exploit for our own purposes; these are eight of them

1. Trust

You cannot operate without trust. You trust us with your heart from the very outset. You readily give it to us and allow us to place our hands around it. You trust us to keep it safe and protect, unaware that our nefarious hands covet the provision of your heart. Your trust is absolute and unconditional and this enables us to exploit it repeatedly by doing as we please,acting behind your back and breaching your trust over and over again. Your reaction when you learn of our breach of this sacred trait is enormous and fuel-filled and the driver behind our need to take and shatter your trust. The concept of trust is so inviting that even though we will fracture it, we will endeavour to repair it and win it back just so we can breach it again.

2. Honesty

Your openness and honesty results in your signing your own fate by furnishing us with so much information about yourself. From your hopes and desires through to your weaknesses and vulnerabilities. You are content to detail it all to us as you live by a code of honesty, always wanting to tell the truth and for the truth to be provided to you. We know you operate by this trait and we will feign to be an honest person at the outset, free with our expressions of how we truly feel about you. How more honest can we be than to tell you that you are the person we have waited our whole lives for? Yet, honesty is for you and never for us because we operate in the shadows of dishonesty. Your honesty may be a strength in your eyes but to us it is a weakness as you have opened yourself up before us, exposing yourself to us, showing your neck to us as our forked tongue slides across our sharpest teeth.

3. Decency

You must always do the right thing. To do anything else is anathema to you and we know that this attribute of yours leaves you susceptible to our many machinations. You are polite and well-mannered. This means that you will accord with our initial overtures and listen attentively to whatever we say. You accept graciously our gifts, not realising that they are bribes to ensure you become chained to us. You always answer our calls, reply to our messages and open your door when we appear, not matter how often or how unannounced. This requirement to be civil and decent allows us to frequent you to such a degree that our charm is in and around you so often that you have no chance other than to succumb to it. You will not turn away, you will not slam the door in our faces but instead give us the toehold and time of day to weave our malign magic over you and seduce you.

4. Equality

You expect to be treated as you treat others and when the devaluation eventually commences and you find that such concepts as consideration, reciprocity and equality of treatment are missing, your alarmed and emotional response is the engine for the fuel we need. You operate by the maxim of do unto others as you would have them do unto you and thus you treat us with love, affection and kindness. Its absence by return causes you considerable consternation and upset, which enables us to draw the fuel from you in significant amounts.

5. Fidelity

To be faithful and receive fidelity in return is of significant importance to you. Your own dedication to the ideal of faithfulness means that we have little concern that you will have your head turned by others, no matter how badly we treat you. You will not transgress this ideal, even though you may suspect or even know of our own flagrant disregard for the concept of fidelity, you will remain true to it. It pains you, it hurts you but as a person of principle you will abide by it. You do not do this through any notion of pride or to seek some kind of accolade, but you do it because it is part of you. A constituent part of your moral fibre and full in the knowledge of this sterling attribute of yours, we shall do as we please with little concern that you will treat us in the same way.

6. Tenacity

You do not give up. You exhibit an indefatigable spirit which invades every element of who you are. You will not give up on the idea of you and me. You will do whatever it takes to please me, to win back my golden grace which you once delighted in. You will hang in there determined to ensure we get back on track. You will not walk away because to do so would be to admit failure and this is not something that you can countenance. No matter how bad the abuse, no matter how terrible your treatment, you will cling on as a consequence of this trait. We are well aware of this and welcome such a tenacious approach, for it provides with a guarantee of your attention and support.

7. Healing

You desire to heal and to fix is perhaps one of your most notable traits. The desire to nourish the good in people and bring it to the fore. You believe that everybody is capable of becoming better, including yourself which is why you are so selfless and giving. You strive to find the ways of making a situation better for somebody, you want to make the sad person become happy, the worried person calm and to ease the concerns of all you come across. Most of all you want to fix us because you believe we can be fixed. We will not disavow you of such a notion, not at all, it serves our purposes to keep you thinking that you can make a difference.

8. Loving

Your love is immense. Unconditional, vast and seemingly unending. Like the largest reservoir, your love is that which we must ensnare and once achieved we drink from it with an unending thirst. You are devoted to the idea of love and we will exploit this repeatedly. We exert control over you by suggesting to you that you must not love us if you will not do that what we want. We test your love for us by placing immense demands upon you knowing that you will always rise to the challenge. Your love for us is such that it is sweeter than that which might be obtain from others but it also remains intact for far, far longer. It endures the torrid devaluation and the heartless abandonment so that we know we can count on being able to come back once again and take hold of your love yet again for our own unsavoury and malicious purposes.

18 thoughts on “The Eight Exploitations of Empathy

  1. This is so good of us. And so bad of u. 🙂

  2. Mocowboy says:

    Why have I fallen “in love” withTudor? LOL..

    I am a magnet empath… or super empath… as I fit both of Tudor’s descriptions… people puke things at me… and weirdly sometimes I know what they are going to “puke” before they projectile vomit their “stuff and things” at me.

    The Narcs in my life puked their shame and blame on me. I took it… didn’t know to do anything else. Now I do … thank you Tudor.

    Your actions of love and kindness by just presenting Truth is what I love about you.

    Thank you… OK.. I’m still way in the “crazy” as it’s been only 10 months NO Contact or limited contact due to malignant hoovers… which you allowed me to prepare. I simply watched and learned.

    I had a “mother narc”.. covert somatic probably psychopath… then a 20 year intimate overt somatic Narc…. 2.5 years of some “recovery”.. and then a … wow… 14.5 year covert somatic greater psychopathic narc (although it did a “simple little boy” personality at times that just didn’t understand.. and was wrongfully accused) .. it was/is dangerous beyond words.

    Weirdly the Narc I did the 20 year “narc hell” experience, is back in my business “sphere of influence”.. in a position of power… I maintain strict boundaries and extremely limited contact … only “social graciousness”..

    I know from my experiences of it that it is out to destroy those with which it is working… thus the “Kasandra syndrome”.

    I can step out of the way as I observe the destruction, yet due to the smear campaign, I can not warn others.
    I would have felt “guilt and shame” for what “it” is doing. Now I just watch and protect myself.

    I now know there are always other options. Should the damage rage out of control, I can do business elsewhere.

    Like many other commenters I thank you for my life Mr. Tudor.

    I am excited about being able to actually have a life. I now dare to dream and what those dreams become reality.

    LOL It is wonderful.

    I can now embrace being who I am … an empath.. while understanding how others think rather than project how I think into them.

    Thus maintaining boundaries to keep me safe.

  3. Stephanie says:

    Always an important reminder. Embarrassingly easy to forget. Sigh.

  4. 1jaded1 says:

    HG. Yesterday, I got off one train stop too early on my way home (you may laugh). After three seconds of annoyance, I started reading all of the solicitations bc reading is fun. Amidst the ads for voice coach, nannies, and washers for sale, one post caught my eye. It read…

    Empathetic, compassionate senior seeking a companion. Has car.

    The ad had eight strips of phone numbers, two of which were taken.

    While nothing really shocks me, this ad has me confused, especially how it was worded and now that I know about your kind.

    What is your take? Is the ad genuine? As a narcissist would you have taken a number? Part of me wanted to take one and warn person about people like your kind. I didn’t bc I don’t call people.

    I must remember at which train stop I park to avoid these situations going forward.

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Interesting tale 1jaded. I suspect it is genuine. I would not have taken a number.

      1. 1jaded1 says:

        Yes. My absent – mindedness can make life interesting, if that is the word you choose. I hope whoever wrote the ad meets kind people. Thank you for your response.

        1. HG Tudor says:

          You are welcome. Your absent-mindedness certainly provided an interesting and amusing anecdote.

  5. Hannah says:

    Oh, that damn tenacity. No matter how much I want to break his hold on me, I can’t shake that “nope, I’m going to stick this one out until one of us dies” attitude. It’s not even a hope for the golden period to return or to help or fix him. Now it’s just a battle of wills that can be both heartbreaking and enjoyable. It is insane what one can become after so much abuse.

    1. lizbeth says:

      You are an addict!! Get Help!!!

  6. giulia says:

    With your kind it always ends to good vs evil.

  7. Unbothered says:

    How sad to always be searching on the outside for something that can only be found on the inside!

  8. Maria says:


  9. amsodone says:

    Reading this one provided a reference point for me. I was reminded how far I have come (thank you again HG). I am no longer the ’empath’ as described and that other narc person no longer has hold nor will he ever regain hold of me because I decided so.
    I choose to remain empathic, however guarded with a discriminative awareness that will not allow or permit anyone underserving to enter. Yep, stronger very day!

  10. Cat says:

    Thank you HG! It is hard to read this and absorb the idea that the things that an empath, which I am, and the traits that make up my core, reflect my soul, everything I ever stood for and believed in, could be so brutally used against me and cause me to have to completely change and become a suspicious, untrusting, unsympathetic bitch that will never trust again. Just to protect myself really, from me!

    1. lizbeth says:

      Who you are attracted a bad person into your life.. Played you, me and many.. Don’t let it stop you from Being who you are.. Now you know your value.. Stand by it !!, Live by it !!,
      and MOST important Learn from it.. Thank you HG..

  11. Karen Ann says:

    I was discarded after 8 1/2 years by J, the man who had called me his perfect soulmate just 2 weeks prior I went into a state of shock when I saw him having sex with someone else. My reality shattered. I needed answers but he refused to speak to me, He called the police on me after I told him I knew.

    Your insight is brutal but without it I would have died. You’ve removed any hope he’ll ever love me but that’s the truth I need.

    I thank you but I loathe you.

    1. Karma says:

      ❤️ A Big hug to you!!!

    2. I hear ya sister!

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