Outrageous

OUTRAGEOUS-2

Fury is the instrument of the narcissist. It is a tool that we deploy in furtherance of our aims. The narcissist’s toolbox is a thing to behold. It contains many devices, objects and instruments that we deploy in order to secure our objectives. Other people may use these devices in a similar if diminished form but they will not be anywhere near as dangerous and effective as the ones that lurk in my toolkit. Some of these instruments are used to subjugate, others are deployed to control and yet again there are others that will be used for the purposes of manipulation. The placing of fury in this toolbox recognises its use to the narcissist as one of his prime instruments.

All of our kind bring the fury but what is it? It will be instructive to start by considering what it is not. Fury is not anger. Anger is below fury on the scale of violent responses. Anger is a strong feeling of annoyance, displeasure or hostility. It is greater than vexation, it is something more than feeling cross and it is beyond exasperation. Notwithstanding this, it is less than fury. It does not contain the unbridled vitriol that is synonymous with fury. Nor does it contain the violent hostility that one finds with fury. What is most important to know about anger is that it is a normal emotion and thus by comparison, fury is an abnormal emotion, hence why fury sits in our toolkit. Anger is an intense emotional response that is normal in nature and arises as a consequence of real or perceived provocation. Anger in itself is neither good nor bad. It can be used for either purpose and it is down to the manner in which that particular person handles it. An individual may direct it into violence towards another person in order to protect him or herself from a threat. Alternatively, it may manifest in the destruction of property. You as a normal and empathic individual become angry. Indeed, as part of our mission to obtain fuel we strive to provoke anger in you, either through angry gestures or through angry words on your part. This provides us with fuel when you react in this emotional fashion. It is an acceptable and understandable response for an individual to become angry.

It is a normal response to a threat or harm. It also releases pressure that builds up inside a normal person. The expression of anger enables people to dissipate this pressure and thereafter feel spent but better for having been angry, as opposed to suppressing the sensation and allowing the pressure to build even further. Some normal people can only take a small amount of pressure before they blow a fuse whereas other people may be regarded as slow-burners who take a long time before they express anger. In either instance the response is an entirely normal one. People become angry for a host of different reasons.

You may agree that anger certainly serves a purpose and concur that helpful and beneficial consequences can arise from this normal emotion. I should imagine that you will also venture to suggest that there is a downside to anger, that results in destructive behaviour and violence. That is not anger. That is fury. That is when something beyond anger is experienced and this fury is more prevalent amongst my kind.

Interestingly, anger also results in a suspension of empathy by those who behave normally. The individual, through anger, becomes focussed on his or her own needs and requirements. This is not applicable to me. There is no empathy to suspend. That is why we do not deploy anger. We have no need of a device to suspend our empathy because we do not have any. This is a further reason why anger serves no actual purpose to us and why we must deploy fury instead. Anger is a normal reaction. We operate outside of the usual normative values. This normal anger serves certain purposes. None of those purposes are of any use to my kind and me. Anger can be regarded as a force for good. That is not something that we are interested in.

Fury is beyond anger. It is wrath, frenzy and savagery. Someone who is furious has gone the extra emotional mile. One might even consider it to be madness. The wild nature of fury causes it to surpass anger and fury is not to be found in the responses of the normal person. I will emphasise that point. You will not find fury as a response of a normal person. Anger? Yes. Fury? No. The deployment of fury is the hallmark of the abnormal. If fury were a normal reaction there would be chaos as explosions erupted everywhere. Most relationships would disintegrate, more people would be injured, and property broken and destroyed and the repercussions for society as a whole would be severe. The cost in terms of money, emotion and well-being would be enormous. Consider the number of times you have been angry. It has happened has it not? You will also be able to recall when your parents or at least one of them became angry, a friend, a stranger, a colleague or a partner. You have seen anger in everyone and that is because it is normal. They may have used that anger for some purpose, kept it in check or let it flow over them and dissipate with no consequence. For those of you have had an encounter with fury, you will also know it. It will have happened amongst fewer people than the categories that I have just mentioned. This is because the development of people has been such that fury cannot become the norm. If it does then society would begin to break down. You may have seen many instances of fury from one particular individual. That is because that person is not normal. They are the exception.

Advertisements

9 thoughts on “Outrageous”

  1. If fury cannot become norm because it would destroy society and Trump is a narcissist, what can we expect to happen in the near future? Will his fury destroy civil society?

    Like

    1. If it caused a nuclear exchange, potentially yes, however I do not see nuclear warheads ever being used. They are a deterrent and no more. The threat to society now is the reliance on technology and cyber attacks.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. One of my siblings felt this fury too. Sometimes it was righteous anger and indignation like the way our father used to put him down in front of other people. Other times there was no logical reason why he had such a strong feeling. In the past he apologized if he had taken it out on me. Once he told me he had this strong feeling simmering inside. He would also ask me how to deal with difficult situations at work and if he was being “too aggressive” towards certain people. He was aware of his fury. A couple of years after getting married to a cold passive-aggressive narcissist like our mother, he became arrogant and verbally aggressive towards me (triangulation). There was nothing I could do to avoid igniting his fury. It was not possible to be in a relationship with him anymore. This still hurts.

    I like the book “Fury” very much. It has helped me understand how fury feels and not to take the narcissist’s fury personally. It gives excellent advice on how to manage it and what to do about it, among other useful information.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. What would happen if I ignored your fury or laughed about it, and simply walked away, saying you’re being ridiculous? What if it did not affect me at all? How would that make a narc feel?

    Like

  4. I always find it annoying when watching a horror movies that the victim ( usually woman) runs upstairs when in danger from the villain instead of out the back/front door…but that’s exactly what I did myself.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Good Afternoon HG,
    I appreciate all of your information as always.

    I have looked up numerous definitions of both Fury and Anger. All of the definitions used both words as being synonymous with each other. They were in the same family as rage, indignation etc. Nowhere did they single out Fury as something abnormal only that it was more intense, along the lines of insanity, uncontrollable anger. I think any Anger that is destructive or hurtful towards a person or property is just as unhealthy.
    With all due respect, where was it decided that Fury is limited to Narcissists? If a person has Fury is that an automatic indication that they are narcissistic or does there have to be another determining factor? and if that’s the case then Fury cannot be exclusive to narcissists. How is one supposed to determine whether it is Fury or Anger when Anger can look just as intense as Fury? I just don’t see a defined line?
    Can one narcissists Fury be less intense than another’s? If yes, then how can you tell what is anger and what is fury?

    Like

      1. Yes sir… apparently I need to read it again.. 😬. Hopefully I’ll grasp it this time. Sorry, I just think a lot ..
        I’ll let you know when I finish again..

        Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s