Please Please Please


I want you to do your best. That is a noble intention is it not? I want you to try harder each day. I want you to aim high and strive to improve on what you achieved the previous day. Though exhaustion may be clouding your vision and that ache in your limbs reminds you of the strenuous ministrations that you have attended to, I know that you can push through it and do it more, better, faster and stronger. I believe in you. Those other imposters are mere charlatans. Am I not the one who has given you a perfect love? You need to keep that perfect love and earn it. Accordingly, each day I will pull it away from you. On a Monday it might be the case that I do not kiss you. I will not give you an explanation for this withholding as you must work it out. Once you have you need to work hard to recover my kiss. The next day I will not return the hug you always give me when we first get up. Rather than complaining hold your tongue and consider this all part of your on going education. If you want my perfect love to manifest through those warm, safe hugs that you relish then you must please me so that you may have them again.

You repeatedly comment to me that there has to be give and take in a relationship. I am doing exactly what you ask for. I take away in order to make you give more and then you will be rewarded. In order to avoid any complacency on your part you will find that the next time I withdraw from kissing you, your first response which reinstated my luscious embrace will not work a second time. No that would be far too easy. You need to ascertain what different act you must accomplish in order to secure my tender kisses. I know you will do it. Who would not in order to feel my mouth against yours and that soaring sensation inside as the relief floods through you, knowing that you have secured its return. Admit it, the potential loss of my affection at any time for any reason excites you. You do not want mediocrity. You want excitement. You want to feel like you are flying, soaring, bursting and spinning with delight. I am the only one who can supply that to you and thus you willingly engage with me in these games as I push you further and further, pulling back a little more each time so you wrack your brain and strain your sinews to find the answer once again. It would be wrong of me to say I only do this for your benefit. I do not. I do it wholly for mine since I need you to please me. You please me by being the puppet jerking on my strings, doing everything at my behest. The surge of power that I get from this control surpasses anything you might get from our relationship, but are we not both getting something from it, so where’s the harm in pleasing me?

12 thoughts on “Please Please Please

  1. A.R. says:

    The harm in pleasing your kind is it administers to a retraumatization. A need to seek approval (by the people pleaser) recreates past traumas in hopes of a different outcome. When the outcome is the same there is a sense of failure, defeat & a second helping of the feelings that came with the first trauma.
    It is unfortunate that some of us become emotional masochists who have a need to seek out emotional vampires.

    1. Ms brown says:

      true that

  2. Jenna says:

    This withdrawal of affection from time to time was confusing and mean!

  3. horseyak says:

    Reminds me of that old Dolly Parton song, “Here You Come Again.”

  4. Jane Hall says:

    My husband is getting on well with our daughter. I heard that once a toxic person can no longer control the person they used to…they will control how others see them. I am suspicious. Something is a foot. Is it because I no longer trust him? After all the years of verbal abuse and emotional abuse. He did appear to change. But when the dog doesn’t seem to like him. when my husband is still going over the top over a little things and demanding I go back to the old town – the place we left 4 years ago and has bad memories for me……I wonder, does he really love me? Really care? If he was truly sorry for the 25 years of rollercoaster cycle of abuse and wanted to make amends…wouldn’t he be happy to live wherever so that I too could be happy?
    I know our son lives in the old town and my husbands parents live there too. But my sister and brothers, aunties and uncles and cousins – all live here. And the old town is not so far….50 minutes away. Our son is grown up. Why is it that I am expected to just pack up and go back tot he place I escaped? Yes, Husband is making an effort. Though he still tells me to Piss off. he uses the F word….not directly at me…but over silly issues. He moans about everything. something is amiss. Is it me? Am I just not forgiving and forgetting enough? HG what do YOU think? Kind regards and thanks x

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Hello Jane, I am assuming your husband is a narcissist. When someone does not comply with our control they are devalued and with less valuable sources they are dis-engaged from and replaced. IPPSs tend to be the ones who will be devalued for longer and then suffer the smearing (which in essence is the control of others which your refer to).
      The change you refer to will have been part of a Respite Period.
      Does he really love you? He is a narcissist, so no. Does he really care about you? He is a narcissist so all he cares about is your fuel, character traits and residual benefits. Would he be truly sorry and make amends? He is a narcissist so he is never truly sorry but he may feign it to get his way.
      The fact he continues to swear which you are clearly uncomfortable with, is done because it draws fuel from you.
      It is nothing to do with you forgiving and forgetting. It is not your fault (although of course you are made to feel that it is).

  5. Ms brown says:

    The harm is, IT’S EXHAUSTING and I can not do this anymore!

    1. SVR says:

      Don’t do it then. It is very hard but you can do it. Get out of the dance and don’t be a puppet any longer. You will find beauty through this hell. There are authentic people like you in the world with similar interests to you so be with them. I remember being abroad and thinking gosh there are many people in the world and all I think of is that abuser, time to let go as who wants this. Look at your own childhood closely, I thought mine was good but in reality there was emotional abuse. Good luck not that you will need it. Keep positive

      1. Ms brown says:

        oh, I AM out! and N/C since February…. together 13 years, married over 8…

        1. SVR says:

          That’s fantastic news. He did not deserve you. Time to catch up.on those years missed. Get to it and enjoy ☺

      2. E. B. says:

        Congratulations, Ms brown!

  6. SVR says:

    Again yet another brilliant piece of writing and to the point exactly. HG this is wonderful work. Understanding your kind is really helping. Many thanks.

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