The Narcissistic Truths – No. 243

WE MANIPULATE YOU

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41 thoughts on “The Narcissistic Truths – No. 243”

    1. For giving me such perspective
      I’ve been reading for awhile now and clearing up in a way I have not before.

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  1. Hmmm…. thought provoking. Did i blame myself? Is asking if I blamed myself, self examination and blaming myself??? I don’t think I blamed myself. I blamed him, them and her. I did blame myself for not being perfect to them. I blamed myself for being sexually abused. Yep. After deliberation I am GUILTY! Thanks for the painful reminder HG. Oh right it’s my fault for reading your blog. Can you blame me though? You are addictive.

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  2. 2 out of 3 ain’t bad.
    Blame myself that I never did. I did question myself but my answer always was I was not the problem. That does not mean I did not want to fix your kind, believe me I did as I wanted you all to be happy. That was my downfall but it was also my awakening.

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  3. After all, that was not the worst thing, what happened. I looked at my life, my needs, my desires and my belief systems. I had a close look at all. I looked in my wardrobe, threw away a lot of old stuff and filled it with new. I cannot change my past, I can only change the future. People like you will exist forever. Spoiled people, bad intentions, full of hate, rage and no conscience. Self-pity on a very high level. Huge Ego with no substance. You, HG, are aware of all the things, you did. Even your awareness does not change anything. There is no will at all. So, go on, on your private path of annihilation, excuse it with your “good deeds” on this blog and remain admired. All the help you give people here and in your consultations will not replace a regretful, serious apology to those, you hurt most in your past. Even when this apology would be a lie, it would be something I could respect. You would give them their dignity back. But you do not. You are still on your way, the way you know best. Do not use the excuse, you are created like that, it is your deliberate decision to be what you are. There is no one else, you can put the blame on, not your mother, not your aunt, not your father, not your environment, not your brain structure. Of course- all that has had an influence on your development, but now you are aware of what did influence you and at that moment, when awareness is achieved, there is responsibility. It is all your fault- now, if you do not change. That is my conclusion. No way out for you anymore.

    (I took a look at my own faults, I know which failures I made. )

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    1. He’s not released out of therapy yet from the good doctors. We can hope those apologies or amends are still forthcoming at some point…and he will use his powers for good.

      Liked by 1 person

  4. In the end you feel like you are the only person in the world that has nothing interesting, nothing meaningful, nothing lovable, nothing attractive or worth listening to and he is the ONLY one in the whole wide world that can give meaning to your useless life.

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    1. You might feel that way now, but it isn’t true. You are enough, you’ve always been enough, and the fact that you ARE interesting, attractive, lovable, have depth of character, etc, is what drew his attention in the first place.

      I read somewhere that if you’re well in the narcs grip, then whatever you’re feeling is because that’s what they want you to feel. Good or bad. That’s one of the things that comes to mind for me with this meme.

      It seems like manipulating and exploiting your self esteem to make you feel worthless without him would suit his needs in one way or another. Either making you insecure and unsure of leaving or to feel punished and to stay bogged down in the ruins of the relationship, unable to move forward.

      Liked by 1 person

  5. Have you noticed how narcisists turn everything into a perverted mockery of what it is supposed to be?
    TV, supposed to something to provide entertainment
    -becomes a tool of domination when hogged.
    Car, supposed to be comfortable transport
    -becomes a torture chamber
    Phone, supposed to be something to allow you to call yer mom
    -becomes a triangulation toy
    and many more examples, Christmas,Birthdays,Holidays.

    Liked by 3 people

  6. I hope you will accept my way to write
    I’m not a native speaker
    Reading your blog I got an idea- how to dominate a narcissist
    For moment I have kind of fun
    I’m using his own technics
    What will happen if I continue this way?

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    1. Hello Salome,

      It depends on

      1. What type of narcissist you are dealing with; and
      2. What you are doing specifically.

      Generally speaking however, other than meeting a silent treatment with your own silent treatment it is unwise to try to behave in a similar way towards us.

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      1. 1. He is the Greater
        2.Generally speaking… I start to tortured him very fine way…
        Hmmmmm…
        What a pleasure…

        “unwise”?

        childish, foolhardy, foolish, ill-advised, ill-considered, immature, impolitic, improvident, imprudent, inadvisable, inane, inappropriate, indiscreet, inept, injudicious, misguided, naive, rash, reckless, senseless, short-sighted, silly, thoughtless, undesirable, unfortunate, unintelligent, unsound, witless?

        Why do you think so?

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      2. I simply adore the fire!
        😉

        As I’m positive super empath I hope to do kind of switch.
        To discover the how testy the fuel can be…
        Isn’t it possible?

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  7. Hi HG,
    You hear a colleague/friend wrongfully label someone (anyone) a narcissist. How do you react? 

    1. Do you correct him, explaining the basics, but “taming” your knowledge?
    2. Do you go on full Tudor mode? But they could wonder why you are so informed about narcissism. 
    3.Your job requires you to know about personality disorders, so no surprise?
    Thank you

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      1. So you pass on an opportunity to blind him by your unmatched knowledge on the subject.

        What if he would have flashed a better business card than yours, admired by all? Wouldn’t you shred him, pointing out why that person is not a narc?

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      2. I pass on the opportunity if I regard the labelling of this person as a narcissist (even if incorrectly) serves my purposes better.

        If that did not serve my purposes better, I would correct him since this would draw fuel (positive or negative) and allow me to assert my superior knowledge. If asked why I know so much, I will explain that I have an interest in understanding the mindsets and disorders of other people to assist my professional work.

        Liked by 1 person

      3. “an interest in understanding”… ha ha, careful,  you could hurt yourself showing such modesty!

        Has the American Psychiatric Association asked you to write their next DSM (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders) yet?  
        They should.
        Thank you for your answers.

        Liked by 3 people

  8. I always look so forward to these memes HG. I saw a new one in the list of posts, so I opened it in class and almost lost my lunch in front of a room full of students!! Maybe bc I have dissected many brains in class myself is why it had such a visceral effect on me. I guess that’s what I get for having my phone out in class! I may have to limit my viewing of your posts to certain times of the day.

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  9. “Beware that, when fighting monsters, you yourself do not become a monster… for when you gaze long into the abyss. The abyss gazes also into you.”― Friedrich Nietzsche

    Liked by 1 person

      1. I’ve been wanting to, perhaps this summer at pool 😊This quote hit home for me and both the work I do and the personal tangos I’ve had. Have you read it?

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Yes I have! A long time ago…although this site has motivated me to start reading it again. Quite heavy book…I have put it handy on my book shelf now…waiting for more tranqulity to read it again! Reading it by the pool sounds relaxing.. When you are through with it ,I would love commenting it with you😀 I like that quote as well😉 says a lot…like playing with fire….

        Liked by 1 person

      3. That quote is partially why I love my work and have empathy for those that others may struggle to have. My first client was a necrofile, fantasies with sex mixed with death. I didn’t think I could develop empathy for him, I did. Then I followed the trail, the rabbit hole a bit. I also know this is why I have personally danced with some dangerous men, they intrigued and attracted me in an odd manner, even though the hair on my neck was raised. It’s this dance with our own mortality, what is good vs Evil debates and seeing the glimmers of beauty in the methods and cunning, the humor….everything. But, before you know it, you are being stalked and hunted and hiding 2000 miles away to hide. The question I always had to ask myself was, what am I getting out of it and how much of what I see is also In me. I will read and let you know 😊 I’d love to chat on it! Best to you!

        Liked by 1 person

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