The Narcissistic Truths – No.21

i-understand

99 thoughts on “The Narcissistic Truths – No.21

  1. superxena says:

    HG: “It is sweet and proper to die for the fatherland.”
    Is it really?

    1. HG Tudor says:

      It is. Especially with me as your CO.

      1. superxena says:

        Of course it is with you as a CO… I feel a huge sense of pride! Meaning you are very proud of your beliefs…

      2. Indy says:

        Hmmm you have perfect vision and you spoke about being near air force bases previously. Perhaps you are part of the British Air Force

    2. AH OH says:

      I missed something. Die for the fatherland?

      Interesting choice of words.

      1. superxena says:

        Hello AH OH!
        Thank you for your observation. It is just a translation of what HG wrote ( see above): “Dulce et decorum est pro patria mori”
        Does it sound better to you: ” Is sweet and honourable to die for one’s country”. ? You can choose either…the message is the sameπŸ˜‰

        1. HG Tudor says:

          Correct. It is country rather than fatherland.

          1. superxena says:

            Thank you!Better translation..better choice of words…

  2. strongerwendy says:

    And that’s all I need to know.

  3. windstorm2 says:

    I had a very hard time accepting that they didn’t care at all. It just seemed too unbelievable. Especially my parents. But my husband told me that repeatedly from the very beginning – “Oh, I understand. I just don’t care.”

  4. Indy says:

    To add to my comment above (part 2), I also want to add on the flip side, the smiles and love I feel from my grandson is also immense. It just may be a different kind of love that I do not understand yet. However, it glows. His joy glows. All of his emotions are very intense.

    1. windstorm2 says:

      Oooh, Indy! One of my grandsons is that way too! The others can be at times, but one of them just glows. And his other emotions are very intense as well.

    2. AH OH says:

      Indy Queen of Many Things,
      Is this why you are in the professional field of working with special needs persons?

      I want you to know I do not use the word “tard” or the r word because of you showing me it was hurtful.
      I am not a “safe space” person nor politically correct, you know this, but I am always willing to learn from, understand, respect those around me. It does make me a better person in having willingness.

      1. HG Tudor says:

        A veneer.

        1. AH OH says:

          I know you are HG.
          Are you insinuating this is how I feel? No, truth is I feel nothing about it. But if it makes someone else feel better than why not adjust my diction to do so. Simple. It is beneficial to all to make the simple adjustment in my thinking.
          I will not give it another thought. If it did really bother me underneath, I would not change.
          You do not know me but those who do know I mean what I say and say what I mean. It is all about me after all in the end.
          You are a bear!

      2. Indy says:

        Hi Ah Oh,
        It was a coincidence that in some ways benefited my grandson (he got identified very early and gets great services) and in other ways it tears at my heart (knowing more than I wished about autism). I’ve worked in developmental disability field for over 20 years, my grandson is 5. My son inspired me when he was 4 and had severe epilepsy (200 seizures a day) and required experimental treatment to stop them. Took years of work, rehab and special education supports to come back from that. He now is a typically functioning average adult, the work paid off. He inspired me❀️

        I’m really touched by your words AhOh. (Hugs) ❀️

        I learn from you too and so many amazing folks here.

        1. AH OH says:

          Indy, I think HG insinuated I am Veneer. I am not as empathetic like most on here. I liken it to a buzzing neon light that flickers. It comes and goes. It was not there for many years, half of my life but as I mature, I am teaching myself every day to let it flow. I am teaching myself to be open to caring.
          I am not narcissistic (although the first time I heard this word, my age was 17) some have called me this throughout my life. My friend who is a psychiatrist has on numerous occasions called me this. I am not sociopathic and here lies the difference. I suppose my children changed my direction. I do laugh to myself when I see the people that whom worked with me in my 20’s, and they recall how my behavior. They say I was brutal and took no prisoners. I was in a position that gave me access to thousands of people weekly, and I looked at it as a buffet. I had many admirers. Every one of them served a purpose. I just thought I was spoiled.
          Yes, I am that person that made a choice of the road I would take, and every day I wake up and think to be a better person. I do isolate myself at times to avoid the dark side of myself coming out. I am now in a cycle of interacting. The past two weeks I have allowed myself to go out and play. Preparing for my trip, I suppose. I am sure after I return I will have to decompress and shut down.
          I did think of you in the conscience choice of not using certain words in my limited vocabulary, and I am not saying I will not use them again, but it will not be in this forum. Know if I do, you will come to mind along with your grandson, and you will scold me. This thought could prevent me from doing so.

          Nice to interact with you again. I read most of what you post. Learn learn learn.
          Hug to you sister!

          1. Jenna says:

            AH OH, you’re a sweetheart! I cannot see you having a dark side…

          2. HG Tudor says:

            Jenna, it is no wonder you got ensnared.

          3. Jenna says:

            Oh stop it HG !
            Jk…

          4. AH OH says:

            Jenna, right? My halo might be blinding you.

          5. Jenna says:

            Unless i missed something here. I didn’t read the entire thread.

          6. AH OH says:

            You didn’t miss anything. HG was projecting. Pointing out that I do this to feel better about myself.

          7. HG Tudor says:

            No projection. Cold, accurate observation.

          8. AH OH says:

            Cold? So what are you saying? You break this dark heart. Now that is cold!

          9. Jenna says:

            HG projecting? A narc projecting? Where would you get an idea like that from?! Lol!

          10. HG Tudor says:

            I wasn’t.

          11. Jenna says:

            I believe you HG. πŸ’—

            I cannot begin to express the gratitude i feel towards you rn. By creating this blog, you are helping us so much. My feelings of appreciativeness are so high. It is almost altruistic what you are doing here.
            Hope your day is going better than mine. 😌

          12. Indy says:

            Hi AhOh,
            Oh I knew this about you, your fierceness and blunt communication is actually something I admire and need to grow more in myself❀️ It’s cool that your empathy is different, you got a unique and valued experience here. And you are quite funny too! I do appreciate you sharing what empathy is like for you and I think it is developed differentKT in different people. I was a scared mouse of a child that had a mind that was curious about life and despite my hyper vigilant ways I also took risks. I felt worn out by the world too, I had to go into myself and isolation was how I decompressed too. I didn’t know then that I was an introvert and was picking up vibes. Now, I think I’m less withdrawn and more other focused, less shy and less mousy. I’m more firey now and it serves me well. I think age does this to us, softening those rough edges/toughening up others, those areas that were more extreme in our youth. We are growing 😊

            I do not mind the reason you choose to not use the word, in touched either way (hugs back sister)
            Nice seeing your firey self here πŸ”₯❀️πŸ”₯

  5. Me says:

    The N who ruined my life don’t understand nor care.. completely dumb and with no empathy.

  6. Indy says:

    This is such as important message to absorb. We, empathetic individuals want to believe that those that are cruel must not understand that their behaviors hurt us and try to find ways to explain over and over. Then, when that doesn’t work, try to explain over and over how this lack of empathy happened, for our own comfort. As someone who works in mental health, this adds a layer of curiosity (and danger) for me…the need to explain how it happened…it helps me conceptualize AND to have compassion. However, it is also dangerous combination for me too, being “empathic” and a therapist/diagnostician….as I have both questions to battle with: Do they understand (yes) ? Is it changeable and do they want this (often not). How did this happen (environment and biology) and can it be healed (if that is even a goal, often not) ? This is a job focus as well as a heart-empathy focus. Very dangerous perspective for me, given my tendency to be a magnet for narcissists and those with wounds. It’s been a long journey for me to see this message, this lesson. I will hold this one close to me. “I understand, I just do not care.” This is what I needed to hear.

    1. MLA - Clarece says:

      Exactly. There is absolutely no rebuttal to possibly give when they truly “don’t care”. It’s so frustrating.

      1. Indy says:

        It is also freeing, in a way too. I can accept and move on. I can leave without guilt if the situation calls for it. This is not second nature for us empathetic souls. I know I want to usually heal, fix, understand and transform…and, then I realize that I am trying to be “god”. I cannot do this for anyone really. They have to want it. If they do not, then they will not do the needed work to heal.

        I come to the thought of accepting those that are simply different for the way they are, as long as there is no malice and abuse. I thought about that book you referred me to, on understanding evil. I observe my grandson who has high functioning autism and compare his development of emotions and empathy to what I know about NPD and those of use that are not, but not normal either. . I adore my grandson for who he is. I cannot change those pieces of him that developed differently, only accept. There are aspects of autism that he gets therapy for, such as use of social language and reducing obsessions and ritualized behaviors. But, his empathy is definitely different. I see it already. Indeed, people are far more objectified by him as well. Just like those with NPD. I think empathy and objectification are related. Recently, I recalled here that my grandson had this look in his eyes when angry that could burn through souls. Well, I saw it again. When he was upset at his father. He laid a guilt trip on him that was complex and that of a teen. It blew my son and I away. With such coldness too. My son proudly said, my son is “savage” in a humorous manner as he laughed at the intensity we witnessed. My grandson has cognitive empathy though little emotional empathy, I see it already. He can be brutal in his words and the looks he gives when fiercely angry. He holds back tears like I have never seen, even my son cries more. I actually love this quality in him too, as it will protect him from those jerky kids that tease children with differences. He takes no BS. And, I am sad too. Because I sense that he may not have warm empathy. I hope, but it may not be in the cards. With that said, he is beautiful. I do not see malice in him. But, it could come. We shall see. Thus, my ability to accept comes as a peaceful acceptance with my grandson.

        With the ex narcissists, it is a distancing that helps me leave them when I know they does not give two shits about me, just the fuel.

        1. MLA - Clarece says:

          I did find the comparison of zero to low empathy between someone with autism and someone with NPD very interesting, because the main difference is the lack of malice typically with an autistic person. I have a distant cousin that is autistic. I guess in looking back we learned to be “detached” in a way from him not in an uncaring way but you learn not to expect a level of reciprocity in emotions or sentiments. There can be tender moments, fun times, laughter but then also that can flip in a switch if something with their schedule is not kept routine and then look out. All hell can break loose. But everyday you start fresh on a clean slate. Like I wrote once before, partly in jest, but it’s true, that you’re on the day-to-day plan with a Narc. If all is well, positive, you feel as though your adored and appreciated, then relish it for that day only.
          In that book, “The Science of Evil”, I found the early chapters describing horrible abuses done during wars so hard to stomach. Mothers being forced to kill their own babies and children with raiding rebel soldiers in that Ugandan village in 2002. I just cannot process this on any level. It is beyond me. Evil, cruelty, sadistic, monstrous, there is just nothing to verbally attach how God awful horrific that is.

          1. Indy says:

            Hi MLA,
            Yes, day to day. Sometimes moment to moment. Changed in routine can be very stressful for lots of folks, particularly some on the autism spectrum. My grandson is very strong willed and has rituals with food. He is very observant of any minute change in his food. He only eats a handful of foods and even his favorite food has to be very specifically prepared and at a certain temperature and a certain brand. It has to be cut a certain way. Very much like OCD in food. He will starve himself if any detail is missed, even with his most prized food, cheese pizza. πŸ˜‚

            Yes the level of evil and horrific acts in war is incomprehensible. No wonder PTSD is so prevalent among soldiers and military in general . When I was in DC I visited the Holocaust Museum and heard stories of survivors who killed their hungry crying babies so they wouldn’t be killed or experimented on by the Nazis. The brutality is beyond my understanding. I also know it took great love for those mothers to spare their infants that torture. So so horrifying. To be forced to kill your family, your offspring is a form of torture I would never wish on anyone. I would rather die first. However my understanding is they would make the death of your loved one worse If you do not comply. The minds behind these evil acts are beyond my comprehension. My mind immediately goes to wondering what in their experience made them do this. Innate evil brought out in war? Trained evil? Just military orders and rigid obedience or rages of war experiences olike temporary psychosis or personal revenge or all three mixed and then some.

          2. Indy says:

            Part 2 of comment to MLA: Taking a broader view in war, if one is to survive one must at minimum dim their empathy as it is “kill or be killed” unfortunately. I do know from what I’ve read that narcissism is also highly represented in a lot of the Armed Forces as well. It serves a soldier well as if somebody is making military decisions, their feelings for their targets do not come into play and goals not impeded and it is easier following through with what we would see as completely brutal and they would see as a “necessary evil” for a larger victory and possibly a larger good For ones country (depending on definition of good of course)

          3. HG Tudor says:

            Dulce et decorum est pro patria mori

          4. Indy says:

            Because living is so much harder after seeing such brutally. Death indeed would be sweeter.

      2. ava101 says:

        But what do you care about your country?

        1. Indy says:

          Hi Ava,
          Was this directed toward my post or HGs? Hope you are well!
          Indy

        2. MLA - Clarece says:

          I’m confused by your question to my comment to Indy how if the underlying sentiment to a Narc is simply they don’t care and never will, there is no rationalization, no convincing, no stance on what empathy can do for them that will change their mind. So I’m not sure how to answer your question in relation to that.

      3. ava101 says:

        It was in answer to HGs bon mot and a question for him.

    2. Narc affair says:

      Hi Indy
      Your post about your grandson i could relate to. My son has aspergers and is very high functioning. One misconception out there is that people on the autism spectrum have no empathy and dont like to be embraced or touched this is furthest from the truth in my sons case. He feels so very deeply and always protects his twin sister. He had intense therapy from age 3 to 6 and its paid off in leaps and bounds. Early intervention has allowed him to not only overcome his disability but over achieve! Hes had occupational therapy, speech, physical and psychological. Were very lucky where i live to have generous government funding for these therapies. Im so proud of him! Your grandson sounds very special πŸ™‚
      As far as asd vs npd youd know more about it than i would but i view npd as the opposite. Not only do people with npd lack empathy but unlike autism they know human psychology very well and use it to their advantage. They are great actors too
      People with asd struggle to read body language and nuances and we try and teach them to act the part to better socially fit in. They dont understand how people think and thats why they struggle as adults to maintain relationships and fit in the workplace.
      Ive had my son in drama classes for 7 yrs to help him understand emotions and read body language and its done wonders! Drama classes and as much outside interaction they can get is the best way to overcome the limitations of autism.
      Best of luck to your little guy!

      1. Sarah says:

        My nephew has ASD. His empathy levels are VERY low. He’s high functioning, very clever and tech-orientated. To him, the world is his for the taking. Displays very selfish traits and cannot read different facial expressions like anger, frustration, shocked, scared etc. No organisation, if he’s building something my Sister says the 9am school bell has to wait for him! He will hug her but 9 times out of 10 it is to get something from her. His sense of humour is brilliant and he excels in classes, it’s just his lack of empathy that stands out to whatever society’s ‘norm’ is.
        He plays all the main roles in school plays – loves drama. He has mimicked so many different body languages it’s as if he’s concentrated on the cognitive side of people rather than the emotional. Definitely genetic. The wiring of the brain is just different. You cannot alter the mechanism of someone’s mind to teach them empathy – understanding and accepting is the only real tool for progression (the caring they show is cognitive/picked up through mimicking as seen as an advantage for them to get what they want). I see many similarities with NPD. Many. There’s just different spectrum frequencies, which is why some children can appear more loving/caring than others – unless their intelligence just outweighs someone else’s in the stakes.

      2. Indy says:

        Hi Narc Affair,
        Sounds like you are doing a great job with your son! I agree with you on everything you wrote. There is a saying in the autism world I am sure you heard and after assessing hundreds of children each year, i know it’s true. The saying is ” if you meet one person with autism, then you know ONE person with autism”. The variability is incredibly broad in abilities, symptoms and emotions. I too believe many have empathy, some more than others. I think it is more cognitive empathy than emotional empathy though I have seen those with some emotional empathy too, like the protectiveness you describe for loved ones (it varies). Some do not have this at all. Many love tight hugs and many hate hugs. It’s possible it’s a sensory thing for some. My grandson is a huge hugger, he could hug me until I fall to the ground LOL.

        I also agree with you on reading social cues and autism. Those with narcissism are far better at identifying nonverbal social cues than those with ASD. Social skills are very different between the two. Usually there is a lack of malice in ASD as well.

        The similarities between ASD and NPD are also interesting to me from a more personal curiosity. Yes they are very very different disorders, and I do not think they are linked. though they overlap in some interesting areas. The empathy piece, given that both have differences in empathy expression and experience, interests me. Also the objectification of people that occurs in some(not all). The eye gaze intensity in some. My grandson can piece steel with his eyes when angryπŸ”₯ πŸ˜‚ I love him so. At age 2 he was nonverbal. With lots of early intervention and speech therapy and behavioral therapy he is talking in full sentences. We are lucky. Not everyone sees this progress. He labels emotions and can mimick them too. Very dramatic and he may benefit from drama work when he gets older. He’s ability to manipulate is shocking though. It’s both humorous and positive since this is not always a strong skill for those with ASD. It is concerning too as his teen years will be all the more intense πŸ˜‚. All I can say is Nana (me) thinks he is amazing ❀️

        I wish you the best with your son, he sounds like he has a wonderful mother in you and is making great progress!!

      3. Narc affair says:

        Hi Indy
        Ty for your reply it was very interesting! Id not heard that saying before but oh so true. The person with autism is still an individual and there are do mamy differences in abilities and mannerisms. Actually the one thing that tipped me off at age 2 were sensory issues. He could not touch mushy wet food and would be so fussy all the time. It was all sensory based. We worked thru most of that with an occupational therapist but to this day he wont sit around anyone eating ketchup lol it really irritates him. Its like an insult.
        Also he had gifts especially memorizing songs or whole childrens books at that age. At the time i was devastated and thought it was a death sentence but autism with the therapies now(thanks to temple grandin πŸ€—) have made it possible to go way beyond any limitations there used to be depending how functioning they are.
        Im also intrigued by the similarities in relation to empathy woth asd and npd. Possibly bc its the same part of the brain imigula thats affected. Ive yet to meet a person with autism that operated like a narcissist. Ive met quite a few and most just struggled to understand emotions and how to relate to others. They also have a hard time letting go of thoughts or bad memories. My son will bring something up that happened 5 yrs ago as if it were yesterday.
        Narcissists i feel are very different in they know better than your average person psychology(greaters) and lessers more by instinct.
        My son does feel empathy but it is in some ways a selfish empathy relating only if it affects how he feels. He does love deeply tho and has sensitive feelings. I see thru things hes written to santa or the toothfairy for example his deep thoughts. He doesnt verbalize them.
        It is very interesting the similarities and difcerences between the two. Ones a disorder while the others a didability. Different views are out there on if youre born with it vs thru vaccines etc.
        Yes the drama classes its been so unbelievable! He memorizes 100+ lines in a night. Hes really improved the acting part of the lines and it highly highly recommend it!! πŸ™‚

      4. Narc affair says:

        Apologies for my typos

      5. Narc affair says:

        Hi Sarah
        Thank you for your reply it gave me a different way to look at it. Youre very right in what you wrote. You cant teach empathy you can try to explain it but it needs to be felt. Both are wired differently.
        My sons techie as well. Hes mastered minecraft and owns 7 devices lol they are special kids and have gifts despite the downside of the autism

    3. VFH says:

      I wonder too if it’s *their* fear that drives them to run from us. And also to lash out. Like an injured or trapped animal, not understanding the situation they’re in or the person they’re dealing with, they attack to protect themselves.

      They know they should be feeling something but they don’t and that must be very scary. They cannot comprehend or process it; no idea what to do with it. So they must leave. And go somewhere they don’t feel fear. A new shiny happy place where there are no strange events or unchartered waters to navigate. Yet.

      1. VFH says:

        My post about their fear was in reply to Indy ref understanding they just do not care….it looks like it’s slipped down the page though.

  7. M. says:

    He hoovers. Pretends to care. I can see the pretence (now).
    I pretend it isn’t there.
    For a moment, I behave as if we are two normal people, having normal conversations.
    It takes two to pretend.

  8. AH OH says:

    HG
    I think I want to do a consult with you. I have so much to share on the gal my son is with. She flipping lies and I have proof. I sent my son information on it. I am about ready to hire a PI to get more information on the little bitch.

    1. Jenna says:

      AH OH, what a great mom you are to be looking out for your adult son in his relationships! Some pple will say ‘he is an adult so i will not interfere’ but i much prefer that a mother look out for her kids throughout life.

      1. AH OH says:

        she is brutal with her lies and manipulations. I would love to see her disappear.

  9. Dark and dangerous says:

    I know ill be in the minority here but i find that eye kinda sexy in a dark and mysterious way. Theres something exciting and dangerous about it yet you cant look away so intense sighhh …. i wonder whose eye it really is? Is he smiling, sneering, grinning?
    The narc stare ive never experienced but from what i hear its black and empty. To go from a loving stare to one of hollowness and deadness would be very upsetting. From lover and life partner to a daunting stranger.

    1. Twilight says:

      I will usually just stare back, it’s my F@@@ You, I am not letting you see what is really happening. Stubborn born from stupidity.

    2. very sexy..

    3. I thought it was kinda sexy and mysterious too. Until I actually lived with one. Nothing as unsexy as someone hating your guts honestly. Just a childish, cranky man.

    4. foolme1time says:

      D&D, If you have never known that state then yes I could see where you would find it sexy! Trust me it is not! When I saw that stare I knew it meant horrible things coming my way! Even looking at that picture causes fear to run through me! Be glad you never had to see it! 🌺

    5. AH OH says:

      The black hair just above the skin’s surface is very demonic.

    6. Giulia says:

      “his” stare was liquid black. As he could draw you in his dense sea of blackness. I didn’t know what was happening when I looked into his eyes, I just wanted more of it. I felt curiosity, as if I had found a secret opening to a secret world. I wanted to get inside. It was exciting. I was anticipating the wonders and excitements I knew I would find. When he was happy he had sparks of blackness, just like a dense black liquid moves and it’s surface reflects the light. When he was mad his eyes were dripping of black distilled hatred. The scary part was the control you could see in the slow but unrelenting dripping of hatred. You could very well see the evil mind set coupled with controlled fury.
      When he was fine, so to speak, his eyes were liquid black, concentrated but not scanning the surrondings, with some white sparks, like electricity running through him if I was saying something that had caught his attention.
      I always wanted to be inside his eyes. It was painful to me if he looked down.
      I can’t imagine not being able to look into his eyes again but that’s what will happen. It has been nothing but a dream that ended up in nightmare. I’m glad it’s over.

      1. VFH says:

        When mine switched his on I was rooted to the spot, frozen, filled with a sense of sheer panic, couldn’t order my thoughts and also felt like I was a hair’s breadth from being unaccountable for my actions.

        It was primeval. That’s the most appropriate word I can use to describe it. Or otherworldly.

        I couldn’t move and I couldn’t explain it and after he switched them off the moment just…evaporated. His eyes normally were a beautiful clear and light blue.

        These memories came drifting back to me as the fog lifted. It doesn’t seem real now.

      2. Liquid black, and nothing else, not even white around it, and always when aroused, which is always.. around me. People talk about withholding sex by their Ns, I can’t imagine him doing this ever. I rarely saw him in fury, or normal, he was mirroring me all the time, so he appeared calm and serene. One day I was looking at him during a visit in prison last summer, and he was all me. I saw myself next to me in his body. It scared me for a moment, startled a bit and then I was just curious looking in the mirror without a mirror there. We were one being.
        When we were kissing and I closed my eyes, I always had a feeling of losing my body weight, as if I was light like air, only the point of pleasure, as if merging with everything.
        I need to start writing, it’s just I’m afraid he’s going to find it and read it, and then the other narc bitches will too, and threats will start over.
        I’m waiting for her to die. Should be soon.

  10. Sarah says:

    He’s the up and coming actor in the new narc fury play called ‘Oliver’s Pissed’

    Fuel, glorious fuel
    Hot sources and flusters
    While I’m in the mood
    Cold shoulders and custard
    Please bring me my tea

    Or I’ll give you a silent treatment

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Remove the please and it’s a winner

      1. SVR says:

        How rude πŸ˜‰

      2. amsodone says:

        Narc: “I don’t have a drinking problem now get me a beer”.

    2. AH OH says:

      Love the title! Oliver’s Pissed.

    3. abrokenwing says:

      Eloquence and humor is your hallmark Sarah!

  11. Twilight says:

    People care for what matters the most to them.

  12. ANK says:

    That’s it in a nutshell. Narcs do not care.

    They don’t care that they lie, they don’t care that they hurt. They don’t care that they use and abuse.

    They care only about getting fuel.

    And we hurt because we so want them to care. About us, for us.

  13. Giulia says:

    let’s see….you could be a lawyer

    1. HG Tudor says:

      No I’m not.

      1. giulia says:

        You should answer with “water” for no or “warm, hot and fire” for close and closer to the correct answer.
        Don’t you have this game in the UK?

        1. HG Tudor says:

          Something similar yes.

      2. SVR says:

        G it’s called hot and cold in the uk

    2. AH OH says:

      He is special forces. Top secret.
      clandestine, mysterious.
      Masculine, beautiful,
      ominous, frightening,
      Machine with a heartbeat but without heart.
      His world. Never forget this.

      1. MLA - Clarece says:

        Now that, I could believe.

  14. MLA - Clarece says:

    That picture definitely has that cold, reptilian vibe going!

    1. AH OH says:

      MLA

      When I first met the Narc, as he walked towards me I felt like he was a reptile. How the POS got any closer to me surprised me. But in the end, it was the last straw for my own healing. It was short lived and knocked me off center but it was needed for me to grow.

      1. MLA - Clarece says:

        We felt a blip in our internal warning system. Now we know to never ignore its alarms again.

  15. Giulia says:

    well, that’s right. You don’t need to be a narc not to care about the things you do. The world is full of zombies.

  16. Mrs Linton says:

    The number of times I would say to my mother throughout my life “You are SUPPOSED to care about ME”
    It did no good of course. The world tells you there is no stronger love than a mother for her child. What utter lies we are brought up on.

    1. So true Mrs Linton !

      I used to hate it much when people would say, “you’ve only got one mum”!

      Yes, thank god !

    2. MLA - Clarece says:

      I am heartbroken for you that you are robbed of this. The bond and love for my daughter runs through every fiber of my being. She has my complete devotion, protection and support. And her joy and pureness of heart was pretty much the saving grace and anchor in life trying to heal from all of this.
      Do you have child(ren)?

    3. AH OH says:

      Mrs. L

      I feel you.

      My mother told me she gave me life and she owed me nothing more.
      I use to make excuses for her saying that she did the best she could with the tools she had. My therapist said to stop giving her a pass and allow myself to be upset with her. She was my mother and she was to protect me.
      She died in 1989 and she never gave me a chance to have a relationship with her. I did try. This is one of my issues, which I work on every day, trying to fix what was broken in my relationship with my mother and it manifests in other parts of my life.

      Today I say FUCK HER, She was wrong on so many levels.

      1. Jenna says:

        I’m sorry you had to go through that AH OH.

        1. AH OH says:

          Jenna Thank you for your kind words. I carried the weight of this for years and this journey has set me free. I talked with my younger sister who lived under her for many more years and boy did she take the brunt of it. Our oldest sister was her favorite.

          1. Jenna says:

            Stay strong AH OH. Sending you hugs.

      2. windstorm2 says:

        Ah oh, I’m in the same place with my mother. She’s been dead 2 years and I have to force myself not to add, “thanks be to God.” I, too tried to mend fences with my mother when she had Alzheimer’s. She would have none of it! Even when she could no longer understand or speak, she would look at me and say gibberish in a sarcastic voice.
        But that strong bond of mother love for a child is still true. I feel it for all four of my children. Maybe it just requires some amount of empathy.

        1. AH OH says:

          My mom loved me, she loved all her children. She did not like me. She stopped when I did not want to leave Germany and wanted Tim stay with my father. She would always say he ruined me and spoiled me. I was his Princess!

  17. Jenna says:

    Nah, HG’s eyes are blue.

    1. KT says:

      Maybe they turn black when the fury is ignited lol

      1. Jenna says:

        KT, lol!

    2. Giulia says:

      did he say that?

      1. Jenna says:

        Giulia, yes he did.

      2. I think so, but he may have been not telling the truth. I hope so.. πŸ™‚

    1. I have a ‘feeling’ this is you.

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