The Narcissistic Truths – No.22

waiting

46 thoughts on “The Narcissistic Truths – No.22

  1. Holy Reality says:

    HG …you say that death is the only way a Hoover can be avoided with any further continuance. This is one of the hardest concepts to wrap my head around. At this point I’m unequivocally convinced you are completely accurate. 2 years later and the frequency of sudden drive byes …it’s almost like some form of provocation? Am I wrong? It just makes no sense. I have avoided all contact and removed ALL forms of an online presence. Did I piss on her campfire? In the past, I will admit …yes I wanted a Hoover. That was ego and unresolved issues of my own. Has seeing me involved with someone else ignited a fury?

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Thank you HR. The fact is that seeing you with some one else has wounded the narcissist and this may well have triggered a malice obsession which results in your being stuck in the sixth sphere of influence which is causing repeated Hoover Triggers. The Hoover Execution Criteria are met which is resulting in the drive byes. It is being done to provoke you into reacting. Ignore.

  2. numb says:

    Those glasses are identical to the ex narc / child molesters. Eerie

    1. amsodone says:

      I just saw the ice cream truck guy with the same glasses on!

  3. Jenna says:

    And thx sarabella as well!

  4. Jenna says:

    But my ex loves to travel. He wants to travel the world.

    1. Indy says:

      Hi Jenna,

      Remember, narcissists, like empaths and others, are individuals and vary a lot. I think HG also mentioned that the higher functioning narcissists (midrange and greaters) are not bothered/challenged by traveling. I think. The recent ex narcissist traveled the world in military and loved it. My ex husband also liked traveling, we went to several places together and had fun. So it varies.

      1. sarabella says:

        and the traveling part I bet is influenced by a few things… how much money there us to travel and how hard it is to replace it, can they travel in style and comfort and more.

      2. Jenna says:

        Thx indy! And wishing you a great wknd!

        1. Indy says:

          You too, Jenna 😊

  5. Bri says:

    Thanks HG…

  6. Bri says:

    HG, would a narcissist considere that being in another country (in holidays) like “loosing control” of their enviroment?.do they feel unconfortable being outside their countries?

    1. HG Tudor says:

      LLN, MLN and LMRN would dislike being outside of their country and therefore would need to assert control more than usual.

      1. sarabella says:

        He had a few chances to make a better life for himself outside of his country. He told mr he always knew he would go back. I understand why I think. At home, he is somebody, part of the town’s bourgeois. Outside of his country, the reality that he is not superior I think was too obvious. At home, he has a sea of desperate supply just waiting for someone like him to fill them with false hope of a better life. All willing players to feed him what he wants… until they find out the truth of course. He has never had primary supply since his wife kicked him out. But a sea of willing secondary and tertiary and he works a good onlinr game so lots of foreign supply there.

  7. Stephanie Farlow says:

    This reminded me of how I feel right now and in the past. A sitting duck. He is watching, waiting, anticipating . I do think he senses something different this time. He knows it will be much harder to wear down my defenses . Hopefully he goes elsewhere for fuel fast. He has no choice. I am determined. Armed with knowledge.

  8. Bri says:

    H.G. do anticipate all kinds of narcissist? I mean, are the lesser, the mid-range intelligent enough to anticipate? My narc seems to be m-range and I’m sure he is absolutely the worst anticipating because he is always making mistakes…fortunately I’m not with him precisely because with those mistakes made me be aware of who he was…

    He can not anticipate or maybe I am more clever than he thinks, in all this relationship the one who knew all the time what step was he going to make next was me….

    Some narcissist traits in me? or maybe I become in supernova mode? I’m not sure the way he anticipates, I think he doesn’t or maybe he is the worst anticipating…

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Anticipation and planning are key traits of the Greater. There is some with the UMR and MMR. A little with the UL which is really based on fortunate instinct.

      1. superxena says:

        Hello Indy!
        Thank you! Yes…predator behaviours. I was also hyperviligant after leaving him…never “relaxed” like him.Now this hyperviligance is starting to decrease but not completely eliminated…

      2. superxena says:

        So this ” calculating ” behaviour exists to great extent in the Greaters? Are the UMR and MMR aware of this behaviour?

        1. HG Tudor says:

          It does. The UMR and MMR calculate but the rationale to them for doing it is different.

          1. superxena says:

            Thank you for your answer HG…
            What do you mean by rationale?
            Their logic? Aim? What does this rationale differ from the Greater?

          2. HG Tudor says:

            They have a different aim. It differs because they do not know what they are.

          3. superxena says:

            Thank you for your answer HG.

  9. sarabella says:

    This has happened 3 times. I read all he puts publicly so I know how words. unbroken habit but soon. Anyway, I said he had Jekyll and Hyde personality and he made 2 references. I have an IG post about turning my compost bin (i know, strange post) and he posts but translated into his language about turning compost referencing the expression about dealing with one’s own garbage but he used the compost and there isnt a word for that in his language. I changed some phrasing on my account about life on this planet. He just posts somethiny about dealing with earthlings.

    Is this how you slip things in on social media to people? I wonder if its pure unconscious (maybe pure coincidence) on his part but J&H, compost and earthlings are not words he ever used before and english isnt his first language but he is hella crafty with words.

    is this part of your watching?

    He also thinks life and relationships as a chess game to win, win, win.

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Correct.

      1. sarabella says:

        How can I differentiate between pure coincidences (the 3 seeming intentional references above) and wishful thinking that these are bread crumbs? Isn’t it odd to have all this wishful thinking, even though I am glad its over? I know it is traces of “did I really mean nothing to him” (yes) …

        But worse than that, this is the taste a ‘friend’ left in me when she said that she thinks he really wants my attention. I said no, anyone’s attention would do and she said she said she did not think so. But fuel is fuel, right? So I feel it was her own manipulation to get me to keep talking about him and feeling about him as I was trying desperately to cut him out of my heart even as SHE claimed she could exorcise him from my life.

        So I can’t tell. Did she manipulate me, too, to think I meant something to him for her own purposes? Or, is he leaving traces of his own watching me?

        I know it doesn’t matter overall, it doesn’t change anything, but it does, you know? To understand the game.

        These are words he never used in his public vocabulary. Why now? It doesn’t matter, does it though.

  10. superxena says:

    I think this image says something deeper than it seems!
    I do not know if this is present on all the schools of Narcissists?
    But my experience is based on the observations of my ex Greater.

    Yes, he was actually ” scanning” his environment all the time: at restaurants we went to,at the coffee shop,dinners,with friends,shopping..At home ..I mean everywhere .Analysing people’s body language,gestures…
    Yes, he was always anticipating an “attack” , in form of a criticism or something else…not just from me but from people around.
    Yes, he had always to be one step ahead..ready to “defend” himself.
    This behaviour was more intense when we were abroad for example on holidays .When he was at “unknown” ground.
    He always had to do the first move.
    It was like life for him was a “chess game” ,life for him was a “war of strategy”…

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Accurate

      1. superxena says:

        Thank you HG…I wonder if this is present on all schools or just the Greaters?

    2. Indy says:

      Hi SuperXena!
      Yes, great observation! I saw this in two exes. Part of this is predator behavior (like a jaguar in the bushes) looking for prey or games. Some is also hyper vigilance that can be a result from past trauma too. I am also hyper vigilant after being “prey” for years.

      1. superxena says:

        Hello Indy!
        Thank you! Yes
predator behaviours. I was also hyperviligant after leaving him
never “relaxed” like him.Now this hyperviligance is starting to decrease but not completely eliminated


        1. Indy says:

          Yeah me too. I relaxed a little but I doubt I will ever return back to oblivious, comfortable normal. And we are gonna be OK!! 😊

          1. superxena says:

            Yes,I totally agree with you. Something will remain..slightly but still there …like a ” ghost”…but we will be ok!!!

    3. My lesser wouldn’t like a different environment outside his two square miles and hurry back to his hunting grounds as soon as he was done with business outside of his little town.
      It wasn’t an issue with the greater.

      1. superxena says:

        Hello Emotion Detective!
        Thank you for your comment. Yes, it seems they do not like changes like new environments. Were you engaged in some way with a lesser and a greater ?

        1. Yes, I was a secondary intimate source with a greater and a lesser, but never a primary. I have a mid range sister, whose birthday happens to be June 1st, the Narc Abuse Awareness Day. Thank you, universe!

          1. superxena says:

            Your welcome !

        2. I remembered now after you asked me this question, that when the greater and I went to Strasbourg from Stuttgart, across the border between France and Germany, he ruined the whole trip by complaining how he hates driving in the French city, and after dinner in a restaurant we had to leave back to Germany. He was furious the entire time because he didn’t know the city. Now that I think of it, he hated going places regularly, but went to please me only to ruin the pleasure of traveling. And we traveled quite a bit.

          1. superxena says:

            @emotion detective
            Thank you for sharing your story!

  11. ava101 says:

    *sigh*

  12. Me says:

    Not sure … been waiting and anticipating but refused to watch for a long time due to trigger (social media) .. when an old request came thru there was absolutely nothing to see… the dreading fab life he was living in my head was simply as empty as his soul. Now back to not watching and hopefully the waiting is over… now I am waiting for ME!!! I want ME back!!! I want him out of my head once and for all and I guess my recent investigations have proven once more that his life is still a fraud and a disaster .. meaning when I am back .. my life is full and great again and his bad but getting worse as I write

  13. gabbanzobean says:

    Yep!!! Always waiting. Waiting for a Hoover that’ll never come. LOL.

    1. HG Tudor says:

      You don’t know that for sure, unless you are dead or he is.

      1. gabbanzobean says:

        Well if it ever happens you know I’ll post about it here and you can tell me that you told me so, good Sir. 🙂

        1. HG Tudor says:

          But of course.

      2. amsodone says:

        Yep, hoover is imminent, and not a question of “if”. Entitlement; it is a “when”

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