The Igniters of Fury – No. 20


43 thoughts on “The Igniters of Fury – No. 20

  1. Ali says:

    Oh I know this one well… I asked him to repair a sliding door once that came of it’s track – a danger for our young child at the time – and he kept promising to do it… we both knew I am the handy one in the household… After a week of him saying he would but not fixing it I went to fix it myself… he got up, very chuffed, and fixed it, telling me that I “emasculated” him and that he had said he would fix it. Except it was like any of his other [empty] promises (how dare I question his superiority lol)

    there were many many more instances where I have talents and he hated me for them. Yes, I know this one very very well…

    he also never ever praised any of my talents openly except to brag “look at the wonderful wife I have, look how she makes me look good” only to then openly hate me in private…

    Another reason I do not fit well with a narc despite being a narc magnet… sorry folk, move along… nothing here for you

  2. Even if the talent involves some type of freaky circus sex?

  3. K says:

    Narc affair
    Excellent job on your answer regarding Igniters of Fury No. 19! You earned a well deserved Gold Star from HG!

    You are correct; they want all of the attention for themselves all the time. My narc mother and my boyfriend’s narc mother made fun of the way I knitted (continental style) and made faces at me like I was dim witted.

  4. B says:

    So what happens if we beat them at something (career-wise)? Are we out for good??

    1. HG Tudor says:

      No. It depends when it happens. If during golden period, it is praised and wanted and used by use. During devaluation and it is held against you – “You only do well at the office because I am the one who does everything at home.” – “You only secured that promotion because you slept with your boss.”

      1. B says:

        He was my teacher actually, but I still got a terrible discard. He has a fiancee who has no job at all (yet with money). I am rich but he doesn’t know how much I’ve got, but I think he can’t tolerate the fact we both have the same job.

  5. Brian says:

    Do you have advice for someone who has a narcissist boss?

    What if someone cant leave their job because the boss will give them a bad reference.
    Doing grey rock could backfire as the boss will want to hire someone more reactive?

    This might make a good article?

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Hello Brian, there will be a book available which addresses the specific topic of the narcissist at work.

      1. Brian says:

        Thanks, that might be the one that gets widespread exposure.

  6. Narc affair says:

    Narcs are very insecure if any hobbies, talents or interests bc it takes away from them. It minimizes them bc they see someone happy and good at something this tarnishes their sense of self. They are cinstantly in comparing mode. Jealousy and envy are the root of their core. They want all focus on them and them only.

    1. windstorm2 says:

      True, narc affair. The one exception being when they are bragging about you to someone else. Then it’s, “look at what my wife can do!” My exhusband belittles everything I put my hand to when we’re alone, but has always bragged about all those same things in company. its whatever gets them the most fuel.

  7. abrokenwing says:

    Unless you’re very talented in bed. 😜

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Even that will be used against you ABW – “You learned those moves because you are such a slut.”

      1. abrokenwing says:

        Oh dirty talk turns me on! I say ‘thank you’ and be the sluttiest I can be with him😋

        In real life none of the men I was seeing ever called me names tho.

      2. MLA - Clarece says:

        Ha! What if she learned the moves from you? I guess she gets to call you a man who’re then!

        1. HG Tudor says:

          Ha ha, not if she knows what is good for her she doesn’t!

      3. Dr. Harleen Quinzel PsyD says:


        That’s the spirit! Lol 😂

        1. abrokenwing says:


      4. Dr. Harleen Quinzel PsyD says:

        “Yeah ur right I am a slut – I’m your slut”

  8. Pamela says:

    The green eyed monster. You must always be the best and not outshone or outdone. I have observed this before.
    HG, do you get jealous of others talents?

    1. HG Tudor says:

      I do.

      1. MLA - Clarece says:

        Has that (jealousy) lessened or worsened with age, especially as you achieve more and can feel secure in that?

        1. HG Tudor says:

          I would state that over the course of life it has lessened but there will still be intense bouts of it – usually linked to the provision of fuel as opposed to jealousy about someone’s characteristics and achievements.

          1. MLA - Clarece says:

            Interesting! So for example, would you feel more jealousy if say Andrea (who you stated you continue to draw negative fuel from) got involved in a healthy relationship and was able to ignore you and move on with no contact and no care towards you, does that make you jealous of the new person in her life?

          2. HG Tudor says:


      2. Dr. Harleen Quinzel PsyD says:

        Is it safe to say it would work out just fine if you got attention from your IPPS talents?

        1. HG Tudor says:


  9. Nat says:

    HG if you pursue a new target because she is a doctor or lawyer ( therefore brings some elite benefits, envied by others) , but then you do the same job and it occurs that after all she has more talent than you… what do you do ? Do you compete and diminish ?

    1. HG Tudor says:

      I don’t understand “she has more talent than you”?

      1. Nat says:

        She has more knowledge, knows all the answers, or even a family full of lawyers/ doctors. And you don’t. But you have exactly the same job. Do you compete and devalue ? Or do you enjoy having sb from elite?

        1. HG Tudor says:

          I was actually asserting that I do not recognise someone has being more talented than me.

          I relish the traits during the golden period and hate them during devaluation.

    2. B says:

      Exactly my situation! Let me answer this for you, they dumb you for a stupid version but with money.

  10. superxena says:

    Narcissists are jealous of you having a talent they do not have and they get furious when you dare to show it and shine more than they do. No one is “allowed” to shine more than they do…and with time you are not allowed to “shine” at all. My ex ‘s fury used to be trigged by my successes and/or personal development. Things that were regarded as “attractive” at the beginning..turned to be with time a threaten to him …

  11. K says:

    I had no talent. I did not exist. I wasn’t special. I didn’t matter. So shut up, look and listen was implied. However, all the narcissists knew and did everything bigger and better than anyone else! His family would try to one-up each other when it came to cooking. One Thanksgiving they each made their own stuffing. So we had 3 platters of stuffing on the table and each narcissist would only eat the one that he or she made. There was so much leftover stuffing, it ended up getting thrown away. I dubbed that dinner “The Stuffing War.” And I was ordered by my ex, before dinner, to rave about his mother’s stupid cookies.

  12. B says:

    I did all the igniters of fury subconsciously the last time I was with him (grown up as a daughter to a narcissist, I saw straight through him), I am way so deeply in love with him, but he really pissed me off that time. He’s been engaged and hiding it, I fell hard for him and then told me when we re-met again that he’s gonna marry her anyway (I’m assuming she’s the perfect co-dependent, look at me I’m a rebel), then asked what (should we do about it then), I was like we’re just friends then, and the craziness started, like what the hell did he expect when asking me to be his whore? Needless to say, at that day earlier he knew of a “success” I’ve done.
    I guess I’ve blown it.

  13. Dr. Harleen Quinzel PsyD says:

    So….everything including breathing and blinking pisses a narcissist off. 😂

    Here’s a good question: What doesn’t piss a narcissist off? Lol

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Raymond. Everybody loves Raymond.

      1. Brian says:

        What are your favorite videogames by the way?

        1. HG Tudor says:

          I don’t have time for video games.

      2. Flickatina says:

        !! There should always be time for video games HG!

        1. HG Tudor says:

          Once upon a time there was. My Xbox Ones look at me. I pat them for being reliable appliances and then go and find some fuel.

      3. K says:

        Of course an Xbox is a reliable fuel source, they don’t get beat to hell from devaluation! You are such a cheeky monkey!

      4. Dr. Harleen Quinzel PsyD says:

        Video games steal souls lol

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