Time and the Narcissist – Part Two

 

TIMEAND THENARCISSISTPART TWO

 

 

The Somatic Narcissist
The Somatic Narcissist is one of our kind who places the greatest stock in physical appearances. This is applicable to the narcissist in terms of being handsome or beautiful with an impressive and pleasing physique, well-dressed, hygienic and alluring using all the benefits of cosmetics and cosmetic surgery available. It also applies to the Somatic’s victims in terms of ensuring that they possess the relevant traits which the Somatic finds appealing, so that they too are physically attractive, well-groomed and such like. Furthermore, the Somatic’s peacocking extends to not just what he or she looks like and that their victim looks like, but also material trappings in terms of income, possessions, size of house and similar. Everything about the Somatic should look fantastic and everything around the Somatic should also look fantastic, just not as fantastic as him or her as clearly it would not be acceptable for the Somatic Narcissist to be outshone by his victim. Accordingly, how would the advancing of age affect this particular cadre, when considered also with reference to the three schools of narcissism? There is much information which can be relayed regarding the effects of aging on the somatic cadre and therefore this will need to be broken down according to each school of narcissism and then subdivided further. This article will address the effects of aging on the Lesser Somatic and first of all with reference to the lowest ranking of the lowest school, the Lower Lesser.
The Lower Lesser Somatic Narcissist – LLSN –
. This individual places great stock in wanting to look good but suffers from the delusion that he is better looking than he actually is. One would not describe him as ugly, he will indeed have a degree of handsomeness about himself but in his mind, he is devilishly handsome. His physique may be decent, but he sees it as extra-special and more ripped and buffed than he really happens to be. Everything about the Lower Lesser Somatic is such that whilst he has some physical attractiveness and would never be described as off-putting in that regard, his regard for his attractiveness in the way that he looks, the way he dresses and his lifestyle is such that he thinks he is irresistible.
Accordingly, when the onset of age arrives and the reasonable physique is lost, weight is gained, the muscle definition vanishes and he does not suit the clothes he insists still on wearing, he does not see this. In his mind, he remains the ravishing prospect he was in his 20s and even then, it was exaggerated. He does not see, in the same way that he does not see that he is a narcissist, he also does not see any deterioration in his looks and physical appeal.
The LLSN will still seek to gather fuel from sources based on his deluded physical attractiveness. He will continue to engage in the infidelity for which Somatics are renowned and regards those who have the somatic traits which he desires as fair game still, viable targets and ripe for the plucking. Accordingly, the primary source of the aging LLSN can expect to experience infidelity during devaluation but also scathing comments about the physical appearance of that primary source if he or she is advanced in age as well. The LLSN does not see his own receding hair line, but considers that his hair still suits him and that whilst the locks may not be leonine in nature, they are still attractive, but he will identify a grey hair on the head of a primary source at ten paces and make disparaging comments about the same. The primary source can expect to have their own physical appearance commented on, thus a sagging bottom will be derided, a weight gain will result in name-calling and dressing in a style appropriate with increasing age will be described as boring and frumpish, even though the LLSN will not see his own appearance as diminished.
This will cause the LLSN to pursue younger targets who are far more attractive and quite frankly out of his league. He will not have even the fallbacks of charm and/or economic power which might cause his targets to overlook his balding pate, missing teeth and paunch. Instead he will become a figure of derision as he insists in frequenting those hunting grounds which once worked so well for him a decade or two ago, but have changed beyond his limited powers.
Should anyone rebuff his attempts to seduce, he will react badly. His fury will be ignited and he will lash out at those who had scoffed at his ham-fisted attempts to ensnare them. He will respond with savage comments about the looks of the recipient of his attention, oblivious to how he is no position to cast stones around. He will hurl drinks over people, smash furniture and with his low control threshold he will engage in physical attacks as well.
This deluded behaviour coupled with the anti-social element of this ignited fury will result in him soon gaining a reputation in his locality, become derided as a figure of scorn and considered as a loser of a barfly. His anger will be taken out on those who reject him and his suffering primary source who, unaware of what he is and of advanced age also, will be unable and/or unwilling to escape him. They will suffer the brunt of his ignited fury as he returns from an evening out wounded by the scathing comments.
The volatile nature of the LLSN means that he will rarely struggle for fuel because he will either
1. Draw it from the negative reactions of those who reject him when he interacts with tertiary and secondary sources;
2. Draw it from the positive and/or negative responses of the long-suffering primary source;
3. Draw it from the positive and/or negative responses of an intimate partner secondary source.
The LLSN’s ability to remain effective in drawing fuel means that he will maintain sufficient energy to keep angling for an affair, a hook-up and a one night stand. He will be repeatedly rejected but in true playing the percentage style, he will eventually find someone who is taken in by his approach and thus he will acquire this intimate partner as a secondary source until he unleashes his fury against her and she loses interest.
The LLSN, in common with the school of being a Lesser, only has a small group of family and friends as secondary sources to begin with. He will rely on these individuals to provide intermittent fuel in the reducing interactions that occur, but he will look to the primary source and other secondary and tertiary sources that he meets out and about for his fuel provision. So long as he has mobility, he will continue to frequent the hunting grounds of his prime, even if he strikes a somewhat incongruous figure because of age, dress sense and music choice. He lacks the awareness to seek out his victims in a more age-appropriate hunting ground and therefore would believe he belongs in the mosh pit rather than at a tea dance.
The LLSN whilst relying on physicality to drive his seduction, does not polish and maintain that physicality like a higher school Somatic. Accordingly, the use of drink, tobacco, drugs – both street and prescription – which are all seen as part of the flash and fast lifestyle which he believes is his by right, will be continued and will begin to take their toll. Unless blessed with a particularly strong constitution, there is a risk that the LLSN will not reach the most advanced years and instead will succumb to the relevant fatal illnesses which are linked to such lifestyle choices.
The LLSN is likely to be found taking his last breaths, drunk, in a rain-soaked alleyway as his heart finally gives up under the strain of the demands he has made on it, with the dimming sound of yesteryear’s hits providing the final soundtrack to his last moments alive.
The Middle Lesser Somatic Narcissist – MLSN
The MLSN suffers from the same delusional outlook as the LLSN and therefore much of his behaviour and outcome will be similar to that described above. The slight difference is that the MLSN will have a little more charm, although not masses of it by any standard and will have a slightly improved economic situation so that when he is trawling the bars and fleshpots in order to seduce those tertiary and secondary sources he may have slightly more success in ensnaring somebody.
Whereas the LLSN cuts a rather isolated figure which lurches from venue to venue seeking a fix of fuel from potential targets, the MLSN as he ages is more likely to create a gang of hangers-on and cronies who will supply fuel and reinforce, in order to secure a free beer or a lift somewhere, the MLSN’s deluded view that he is still gorgeous and attractive. The MLSN will seek reassurance from this coterie as to his appeal and if it is not forthcoming, he will regard that as criticism and he will lash out at the coterie to draw negative fuel. Where the LLSN does this and becomes increasingly isolated by people who are fed up of being shouted at and hit, the MLSN has some ability to draw those coterie members back to him and continue the association.
Ultimately however the MLSN will behave like the LLSN and therefore will have a long-suffering primary source who he returns to repeatedly after engaging in sordid engagements with those he is able, after repeated attempts with different targets, to seduce. He will suffer the same ravages of his lifestyle, the same inability to control his fury when he is rejected and is unlikely to see particular old age as he succumbs to illness and disease as a consequence of his rampant promiscuity and unhealthy lifestyle choices. The main difference that the MLSN has over the LLSN is that he is able to attract people a little more readily owing to slightly higher charm levels and slight increased economic ability, but they are not significant improvements by any stretch of the imagination.
The Upper Lesser Somatic Narcissist – ULSN
The final subdivision of the lesser school is that of the Upper Lesser. How does he fare with the aging process when he is from the somatic cadre? Whereas the LLSN and MLSN are deluded as to the extent of their physical appeal, the ULSN is particularly physical attractive. He will have natural good looks, engages in a rudimentary regime of skin care and hygiene which is sufficient but far removed from that of the Greater Somatic and looks after his body. The female equivalent will attend gym classes, eat reasonably well and use cosmetics as far as she is able within the confines of a lower disposal income than the other schools of narcissism.
The ULSN has enjoyed much success through his or her life by relying on being physically attractive with a dash of pleasant charm to boot. They still possess the low fury control threshold but it is not as poor as that of the Lower Lesser, however when that fury is ignited the ULSN being in the best physical shape of the three subdivisions of Lesser Somatic Narcissists is the one more prone to causing damage and with an extended period of fury.
In terms of the effect of aging, the ULSN is not hampered by delusion but rather operates through the cynical exploitation of easily being able to attract people to him and rely on pure looks, sexual expertise and animal-magnetism as opposed to utilising economic power, intellect, witticisms and/or charm by the ladleful. When aging occurs to the ULSN he finds that his muscles begin to waste, his looks start to fade and the march of time really begins to take its toll. Also a devotee of the beer, cigs and drugs brigade so often the hallmark of Lesser behaviour, the ULSN was able to counter the effects of this when younger by reason of stamina, youth and racing metabolism. Not any longer. He actually suffers the worst swing in physical appearance of the Lessers. The LLSN and the MLSN were not ugly but they were never stunning and therefore there is only so far they can fall in terms of physical appeal. The ULSN has indeed further to fall as he gains weight, loses his hair, sees his athletic prowess much reduced, struggles for breath and so on.
Lacking the back-up of intellect, wit and charm which would be seen with an Elite and lacking the cognitive function of the Mid-Range and Greater, the ULSN is taken by surprise by his sudden reduction in attractiveness. He does not know what to do. He is not afforded the delusional capacity of his other Lesser Somatic bedfellows but rather he looks on in horror at the sagging skin, the watery eyes, the stiffness of movement. He is becoming the very thing he has never wanted to be; old.
He will suffer a crisis of confidence and this will result in him shunning those hunting grounds which he once prowled so easily. Instead, he will turn to his primary source and alternate between wanting reassurance that she or he is still attracted to him or her and lashing out because of his increasing frustration at his withering frame. His rancour will increase as he ages, causing those who might otherwise wish to fraternise with him to remain away. He does not become more distinguished with age nor does he retain that small amount of charm he once had as an Upper Lesser, instead it is swept away by his increasing bitterness and hatred. He will retreat into a shell, turning to pictures of his former beautiful self for a reminder of what was once but in seeking such affirmation he only increases his torture and will rail against the unfairness of it all, lashing out at his primary source.
The ULSN runs the risk of alienating the primary source and having retreated from other sources through increasing shame at his appearance – which is exacerbated by his reduced fuel levels – the ULSN really then does suffer a crisis of existence. He risks depression as he loses what he believed himself to be and without the trappings of wealth to cause a diversion as a higher schooled somatic may have, he finds himself lonely, suffering the ravages of his lifestyle choices, isolated and a bitter and irate figure. He cannot deal with the loss of his looks, the departure of his once excellent physique and has nothing else to turn to by way of compensation. He will struggle to attract fuel sources and will embark on ham-fisted and ultimately failed seduction of secondary sources, whereby he will not gain sufficient positive fuel from the engagement but rather will turn to lashing out against them and the primary source. In his quest to gain fuel from both primary and secondary, but having little or nothing to offer by way of seduction any more, he may find himself without either.
Whilst the LLSN and MLSN may shuffle off this mortal coil at a younger than anticipated age, they will do so still believing themselves to be attractive and irresistible and therefore their passing away will be somewhat cossetted by delusion. The ULSN will face the horrible and stark reality of the deleterious effects of aging, in terms of illness, disease and the loss of looks and will descend into an isolated, unhygienic, weakened state. Once the lifestyle has caught up with them and they collapse with diseased lungs labouring for breath, he will be thinking ‘I used to be gorgeous, what has happened?’ With his construct near collapse from the shortage of fuel, the reality will become even more harsh and it will be a terrifying and brutal end as he is overtaken by the effects of age, sooner than it ought to have been.
Part Three examines the effect of age on the Mid-Range Somatic.

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14 thoughts on “Time and the Narcissist – Part Two”

  1. Can there be a combination or switching back and forth between these Ranges? My ex is deluded. He is old with a paunch and was not ever stunning. He was not bad looking when younger. He snagged a very young new partner from a poor country(35-40 years younger than him). She wants the meal ticket etc. He seemed to be a Cerebral type after we married. He actually has very little passion and concentrates as a workaholic. At the end he started charging strip clubs to our credit cards and lying about why he was there. He thinks he has exceptionally good looks, but he is on a very low level of looks and has a bitter attitude with a flat countenance. What is also very odd is that he poses. He sets himself in obvious stance and makes sure that he seems to appear distinguished in photos. He gets nervous before going to parties and large gatherings and then starts the posing as he enters. It is almost comical, if it wasn’t so tragic that he now can’t cover up his problem. No mentally healthy woman that I know would marry an old guy with that gap in age. She is probably taking him for a ride(providing fake fuel) for money and then escape, if anything becomes difficult.

    1. I’ve wondered this too. I quite peg my last ex (victim, somatic, cerebral) I can figure out the others (mostly cerebral and somatic) but this last one has me stumped.
      Basically I have no idea. Are there chameleon types?

  2. Another very good read and it matches my observations. HG I also read the article about the victim Narc and I was wondering if the somatic would change due to aging into a victim Narc? Could these two be equally linked or is the victim facade just part of the game? Thank you!

    1. It would depend on the school and also how firmly within the cadre the narcissist is to begin with. A Lesser would be deluded and remain strongly somatic (if that is where he began), a Greater will remain somatic (if that is where he began) owing to better coping mechanisms for aging, The Mid Range is more likely to bemoan the loss of the traits which impact on his ability as a Somatic and therefore victim traits would come to the fore and therefore he would be more likely to be on the cusp, but not actually change cadre.

  3. I think somatics suffer the worst thru aging and growing older. I have a couple friends on my facebook i suspect as somatics. One in particular i have respect for. Shes amazingly beautiful in her 60s and puts many in their 20s to shame. A perfect body and face. Shes very wealthy so im certain shes had lots of “work” done. Weve talked in depth and she overcame breast cancer and will help give advice to others but theres still that element of conceit. Constant selfies and way bsck type pics. I dont find her to be as overpowering as other somatics ive met. I think in her case shes embraced age better than other somatics ive known. Others ive come across have grown nastier as they lost their looks and have fallen into a pit of despair. They cant accept they are no longer in their youth and struggle constantly against it. Their narcissism gets more potent as they try even harder to control people making up for their lost looks. Anyone that pokes fun at their age experiences their wrath and is an outcast. Their age becomes a huge source of insecurity and taboo. To joke about it is no joke at all. They want and expect people to play along like they are in their 20s yet they come off ridiculous with their antics. Its very unflattering to see an older person carry on years younger than they actually are. Those with money its obvious theyre buying their youthful partners love and try to appear younger by being with a younger person.
    My narc lied to me when we first met about his age. He said he was 10 years younger than he was in actuality he is 16 yrs older than myself. Hes told me many times when out shopping they card him when he buys his wine. I find this very doubtful lol somatics will fight age to the bitter end then stick their head in the sand and pretend that time stands still. If i was a narc god forbid id want to be a cerebral bc time only intensifies their power of intellect.

  4. Loving this so much. I know a female Upper somatic lesser.
    Although does not quite fit your criteria on being easy on the eye. 10/10 for her body but if rate her a 3/10 on her looks – a high 3 though 😂

    She is completely obsessed and does anything she possibly can to look after herself, plastic surgery, home abuse (self non surgical treatments) it doesn’t help. But she thinks she’s amazing. And the torture her poor partner has to endure to be aesthetically pleasing (again unacheivable) from putting holes in his head to grow hair to force feeding him to bulk him up.

    She takes on a new ‘project’ every couple of years and once she’s done the best she can with them, it’s onto the next one like renovating a property.

  5. The Narc in my life has definitely gotten worse as he’s aged – I have little contact with him but from what I’ve heard, he has a hard time controlling his anger now. Using your categories I’d say he’s gone from Mid-Range to borderline-Lesser.

    I read an article recently about narcs and time. It said that generally time is not kind to them. A good quote from it was “time is one of the few things they will never be able to control”. I love that because time is on MY side. As my daughter gets older and gains independence, the ex has less and less power over both of us. He turns 50 in less than a month (I’m 6 years younger) and I doubt he’s looking forward to THAT milestone!

    1. My daughters father is getting close to that 50 age mark and i am much much younger…. he is somatic.resents it very much. secretly takes testosterone and anything that keeps that male youth going. he also gets botox. nothing wrong with that. but i think he is exposed as a narcissist more and more. the insane amounts of money he spends to keep himself in the game, the denial (he claims he looks 38- not true), he does not have a “crew” anymore, he is a lone ranger and people are starting to think he is weird for not getting married by now, his family is starting to go No Contact with him. He was wounded when i dated someone my age with a flashy career. he is very grumpy, less charming than when i met him 5 years
      ago.

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