The Gaslighting Twenty


You are familiar with gas lighting where we twist reality over and over again in order to create doubt. You begin to question yourself, doubt your recollection and feel like you are losing your sanity. It is an insidious tactic and one which we always use in order to destabilise you and maintain our control and the upper hand. We change history, re-write what has happened and we will do so even when faced with what you think is incontrovertible truth and evidence. Our confidence and certainty in the way we approach this, combined with the patronising appearance of caring about your tired and failing mind is especially bewildering. Our aim is to cause you to question your reality so you much more readily accept the false reality that we create and operate in. Here are twenty of our favourite phrases which are used to gas light you.

  1. “It never happened.”
  2. “You are lying.”
  3. “You imagined it.”
  4. “You haven’t remembered it correctly.”
  5. “Yes,you did do it because I remember distinctly.”
  6. “Are you calling me a liar?”
  7. “If I look for it you had better hope I don’t find it. Oh, what’s this? Just where I said it would be.”
  8. “I never told you to do that, why would I ever say that?”
  9. “Your dad wouldn’t do that to you.”
  10. “You are suffering from delusions, I think we need a doctor for you.”
  11. “You like to cause an argument out of nothing don’t you?”
  12. “You twist my words, I did not mean it like that.”
  13. “You never told me that at all,I would have remembered.”
  14. “Nobody likes you, they’ve all told me this.”
  15. “You need help, it is caused by your anger problem.”
  16. “Why are you inventing things again? You are such an attention seeker.”
  17. “That never happened.”
  18. “Dear me, you always make things up, you’ve done it ever since you were a child.”
  19. “We are just friends, you are reading too much into it.”
  20. “That couldn’t possibly have hurt you, why are you saying it did?”


15 thoughts on “The Gaslighting Twenty

  1. YesIexperiencedittoo says:

    testing on my previous comment…

  2. YepIexperiencedittoo says:

    My gaslights that I didn’t see here was “I told you that” (when he never had, and “I am worried about your memory” from out the blue. “Why would you say that?” He responded, “Oh there are just things that I have told you and you don’t seem to remember.”
    “Can you tell me what they are?” “Oh, it is no big deal.”
    It was a big enough deal for him to bring it up but then he couldn’t remember or didn’t have an answer so now it isn’t a “big deal”. Just trying to put doubt in my head for future manipulation.

  3. geyserempath says:

    Wow…I never knew what the term meant until I came across HG’s site. Mine told me he drove truck at one place of employment. I ran into one of his old coworkers who mentioned him driving truck. When I told my Narc I had run into said coworker who mentioned him, my Narc responded “I never drove truck there.” what? you told me you did “No, I never said that.”
    The second occasion was when he mentioned a movie he wanted to own and I bought it for him. When he opened the gift, I mentioned he had wanted that particular one and his reply was “well, not wanted it, really, it’s good to watch it again, but I wouldn’t have bought it.” I sincerely thought I was going mad.

  4. TraceMe Baby says:

    So Dr. Harley Quinn there… yeah… it’s not as if the “emotion” in that response was out of place and overblown. That couldn’t have been some sort of attempted portrayal of struggle, pain, and personal strength that fell flat. Nope. Totally genuine, I’m sure.

    A+ on the writing style and measured usage of CAPS. I could really FEEL your emphatic “strength of character.”

    I bet you sing prettier than a mockingbird too 👏🏼

  5. Twilight says:

    He was always more subtle about things…..
    Like adding a word to poem I had written

    1. Dr. Harleen Quinzel PsyD says:


      That would drive me crazy! lol!

      1. Twilight says:

        Lol Dr Quinzel

        If I was any other kind of empath he would have left me drooling 🤤!!!!

  6. Nat says:

    “Do you listen to what you’re saying?!”
    “Can you start using logic?”
    “What categories does you brain use? It’s beyond my comprehension.”
    “Can you repeat what I said in the first sentence? No, I didn’t say it that way.”
    “Nobody likes you in your family. They like me more. Somebody even tried to warn me against you” (FALSE)
    “No I didn’t flirt with that girl! You’re paranoid and jealous! I don’t want to hear about her anymore.” (2 years later they are together)

  7. Nat says:

    He: “Are you stupid?? Tell me. Are you?”
    Me: You just suggested that I’m stupid…
    He: “No I didn’t. I ASKED if you are. That’s not the same, don’t switch my words.”

    Is this gaslighting?

  8. MsSevyn says:

    I think you’ve met my mother. 🙂

  9. Dr. Harleen Quinzel PsyD says:

    Awww…the memories! There are so many to choose from but I will pick a few of my personal favorites. Consider this my ex-boyfriends greatest hits:

    “you” would be my lovely ex midrange narc…

    “It never happened.”
    OOoOOOOoohh because you said it didn’t I guess it really didn’t? You’re a fucking moron – it did – this is insulting…

    “Are you calling me a liar?”
    OH WOW YOU CATCH ON QUICKLY. Yes…YES I AM. Go cry about it. Make sure to throw a theatrical performance for me – show me just how outraged you are ::eye roll::

    “You need help, it is caused by your anger problem.”
    HAHA…No I don’t. Interesting how all of your previous ex-girlfriends have had “anger problems”. It couldn’t be that YOU are an angry person who can’t acknowledge the fact that you’re angry. Why would you? Negative feelings aren’t permitted (well you can’t actually talk about them). Oh please… continue to project more of your bullshit on me. It couldn’t be that you are a miserable individual to be around? Oh no…It just CAN’T be that! It couldn’t be that you provoke me and are insensitive to everyone other than yourself and in the process manage to insult and shit on everyone around you? Silly me… lets continue

    “That never happened.”
    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Oh…it didn’t? I guess because you say it didn’t it never happened? You really had me all confused ::eye roll:: ….STFU this is even more insulting thn your other bullshit…

    “That couldn’t possibly have hurt you, why are you saying it did?”
    BECAUSE IT FUCKING DID. You sound like a fucking moron – I honestly have nothing to say regarding this stupidity. This line is the most ridiculous. Why? Because you aren’t in my body or in my mind.
    Please storm out and give me a silent treatment because you’re pitiful.

  10. RunningAway says:

    “You didn’t see anything”

    Yeah ok

  11. Jody Allen says:

    Thank you for scratching the very surface of Gaslighting, probably the most damage done to me.
    Would it be possible to do an article where gaslighting is taking place? I do like your writing style, and would like to see how you perform this trick until the victim actually believes what you are saying. I think it would she’d some light on where we (the victim) start taking a wrong turn towards “Delusion Ville” aka “Crazy Town”
    Please and Thank You.
    PS: Loved live stream yesterday. I hope there is another in the works. It’s very helpful.

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Thank you, you are welcome and I have made a note re gas lighting.

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