30 Shards of Ice



Words are our weapons. Easy to use, low in energy expenditure but with such potential. The capacity to charm, to flatter, to instil joy, to create desire, love and passion, to engender affection and much more besides. Words can be used to soothe, to convince, to persuade and to calm. Those words can also hurt, upset, annoy and frustrate. Cutting comments, acidic accusations and pernicious put-downs. The greater of our kind show particular ingenuity in assembling those savage sentences which cause despair and generate misery for the recipient. We adopt a considered approach in respect of the uttering of these barbed comments.

  1. They will be reserved most often for strangers and minions in order to reinforce our superiority and to show off in front of you, our primary source. We have no façade to maintain with the newspaper vendor, the waitress or the driver of another car. They will suffer the caustic words to allow the provision of fuel to us by their shocked and upset reaction and also from you by reason of your admiration at our masterful handling of the incompetent person serving us.
  2. Those who form the façade rarely receive the lash of our tongue unless they deceive us and become treacherous. For the most part those people will only ever experience the pouring of honey in their ears and the sugar-coated pleasantries which are designed to keep the loyal to us and to maintain the façade to our benefit.
  3. The worst of these comments is directed at you as our primary source of fuel. The issuing of nasty, malevolent and hurtful comments will be saved for you during devaluation for the purposes of causing the maximum provision of fuel and the assertion of our control. Slurs about your life, your appearance, your family, your interests, your job and your friends will be routinely hurled at you. This will happen repeatedly, like a machine gun firing our bilious bullets towards you. We also like to wield a show stopper of a comment, a particularly chilling comment which is designed to drive a shard of ice through your heart. The type of comment which leaves you in a stunned silence at the malice it contains. The nature of the comment leaves you horrified that somebody would say that to you, somebody who is meant to love and cherish you, somebody who once said the most wonderful things to you (and will do so again in about a week as the rollercoaster ride gets into its stride). These comments are designed to deliver maximum hurt, total upset and have that negative fuel pouring from you. They may leave you stunned, sickened, frightened and anxious, they will chill you to the core but our kind will always deliver them because words are our weapons. Here are thirty icy shards which are driven through your hearts.
  1. I will always be in your head and your heart. You will never ever escape me.
  2. I will not stop. Ever.
  3. You know, I thought about your funeral before and it troubled me. It troubled me because I would no longer be able to punish you.
  4. Nobody likes you, that is why your dad left you, you know. Nobody else will say it but I will.
  5. I hope it takes years of therapy to sort you out.
  6. You think this is bad? This is nothing. I am just getting started.
  7. I always know where you are.
  8. You are my puppet and I will never cut the strings.
  9. I know everything about you. Remember that.
  10. It’s strange what can happen when you are asleep.
  11. No matter how far you go I will always find you, because I own you.
  12. I only chose you because I felt sorry for you.
  13. You have no idea what is going through my mind right now have you? But I know exactly what you are thinking.
  14. Go on scream, nobody is listening.
  15. You are not a person to me.
  16. I’ve caressed you. Now I am going to crush you.
  17. Just think, you have already had the happiest moment in your life.
  18. You have told me all your secrets. Remember that.
  19. I’m diseased and I’ve infected every part of you.
  20. Nobody will ever believe what you say.
  21. I’m the permanent reminder of all the things you want to forget.
  22. I will teach our children to hate you.
  23. I’m going to show you what loneliness really is.
  24. This is happening because you are a bad person.
  25. I need to cleanse you and I will not stop until it is done.
  26. When you close your eyes you will only ever see my face.
  27. I will never let you go.
  28. I will never put you out of your misery.
  29. I hate her because she reminds me too much of you.
  30. This is what will happen for the rest of your life.

There are many more, but what have you been told which has stopped you in your tracks and sent a chill through you?

35 thoughts on “30 Shards of Ice

  1. June says:

    Okay, time to decide on everyone’s greatest hits-the comment that still stays with me and haunts me. The one I can’t forget.

    Brother: It’s a tie!! Congrats, little bro!
    “Go and kill yourself.” (I should mention I actually was suicidal at 17-18.)
    “Nobody gives a shit.” (He actually has a youtube video of someone saying it, IN SONG, which he will often play if he has his phone in hand. It would be hilarious if it wasn’t so painful to hear. Such a slap in the face.)

    “Someday your father will have to BUY you a husband.” (Because nobody would be with me unless someone paid them.)

    (after making observation about me) “Why do I know this? I know this because I know you better than you know yourself.”

    It would be less disturbing if the preceding observation wasn’t accurate.

    I only realized after reading a bit about HG’s childhood that they probably have things that were said to them that echo in their minds too. Especially in the case of my father and brother, they always seemed so utterly untouchable. But I guess that’s just the image they intend to project, right HG?

  2. Jess says:

    * I’ll drop a tree on you in the forest and you’ll never be found

    * My family made me be with you because of our daughter, you moved away and they missed her so they told me to get you back here. I was forced to be with you.

  3. Indy says:

    While waiting for the waitress, he said “I bet she would not notice us even if I stabbed you in the eye.” (Upper Midrange) when challenged with a look of horror, he said “What?” Denied he said it. (Gaslight)

    While leaving a Lesser, he said “if you leave, I will find you and gut you like a deer. Every dog has its day.” I left. I’m here, alive and well 😊

    While on a date with a sociopath, I kept my personal space, though enjoyed the fun. he said to me:”Don’t worry, you are safe with me.” (Always means trouble) He chuckles and with an intense look he said “So, let me take you shopping tomorrow, I have a dress in mind for our next date. you should only wear dresses. Ill buy you several. Then I’ll take you out for the best Sashimi in town.” I never went on the shopping spree, I told him I had my own money though that Sashimi was divine. He actually stated he “approved” of my dress that I chose. Who offers a woman a shopping spree on a first or second date? Interestingly, he showed off his cash but his car was not at the same level as his image he played. I figured he’d stuff me in an oven, so no next date 😂

    Hi Matilda,
    Just a little tidbit I wanted to share. Never underestimate the danger of any narcissist. Midrangers may be sulky victim/playing broody brats, BUT, the smart ones, the upper MR cerebrals particularly, can cause brutal psychological/emotional damage with gas lighting and other tools. Think prisoner interrogation and mind fuck tactics. The recent midranger I experienced pulled all of that with me. It was worse on my mind than the death threat from the lesser. The lesser did trigger PTSD in me from years of stalking and threats. The midranger is capable of the same though will put more energy in things like stalking from further distances. The lesser stopped stalking me when I moved a few hundred miles away. The ex husband midranger traits guy, from 20 years ago, still stalks me on media. The would stalk from across the country too. Never underestimate an obsessed midranger. No matter how pathetic they are. I understand being triggered by those phrases in this article. Some phrases do that to me too and I often find dark humor is where I go too.

    Hope you are doing well and hanging in there.


  4. Louise says:

    “You’re an idiot”, “some psychologist you’ll make when you can’t even see what I’m doing”. “There’s no way I’ll move in with your parents, for you to care for your mother, there are certain things I can’t do, they’ll throw me out and I’ll have no where to live”. “It’s alright for you, you’ve got Mummy and Daddy, who have I got?”. “I’ll make sure our daughter will never have anything to do with you”. “You’ll never get anyone better than me”. “Do anything you like, but don’t get famous, I’ll be embarrassed “!!!! That’s not even the start!! 😩

  5. Watermelon says:

    They just say this crap to get you to take the bait. I find it wavers between absolute flattery to very deliberate ignoring (because that was my biggest trigger). The way I look at it, not responding is the only way, because if you do respond, you either stroke their ego, or if you tell them to take a hike, they hurl abuse at you.

    I’ve stopped giving any emotion at all. If he’s civil, I will be civil back, if he ignores me, I ignore him back (but don’t get upset and ask him why he’s ignoring). As a result though, he’s now every-freaking-where, he was even caught skulking around the soccer pitch my son was playing on today. My 12 year old son said this morning ‘he stalks you so that he can ignore you’.

    I love the saying ‘the opposite of love isn’t hate, it’s indifference’.

    1. PhoenixRising says:

      Watermelon, mine is the same way. He has never been outright vicious to me with his words. He knows the silent treatment and very deliberate ignoring of me at church is enough. Add to that the evil icy stares he would throw at me from across the pews (we are close, intimate friends; not in a formal relationship). Through most of June, I employed a bit of a silent treatment of my own. It amused me to watch him squirm during that time.

  6. Patricia J says:

    My Greater Narc..told me he had snatched my Soul. Over an over…using God in the mix. Whats ur take on that HG?

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Provocation, assertion of superiority and he was hungry for more souls.

  7. C★ says:

    On these lines…. I am sharing my morning txt Hoover…. 〰”And what could silence mean, The lil which over her cauldron, laughing and scheming” 〰 I continue to hold fast & not responding… this txt bomb hovering started just after 5 mo n/c AND going on 1 year since i was in physical sphere. Then he went silent & disappeared.

    1. Narc affair says:

      Hi c ☆…Do you have any feelings for your ex? Im asking bc if you do its dangerous territory the hoovering. I know youre well aware having been on here a long time but its so easy to slip back into their trap by having them on the mind then they disappear again. Im not sure of your situation if youre able to go fully no contact but if you have even the slightest feelings for your ex you may want to block him completely. Out of sight out of mind.

      1. C★ says:

        I am numb to any feelings towards him… I feel nothing one way or the other. Due to reasons I can’t go into here, full blocking is not yet an option, unfortunately. I am sure if I do not reply to him, he will stop. He must be low on fuel sources at the moment, lol. Thx for asking and advising! I am back in “isolation”, as I call it, raising Monarchs to pass the time, guns are loaded, lol

  8. gabbanzobean says:

    I was with a mid-ranger and he was also not malicious at all. I did not hear any of these statements. He told me a few times I needed therapy and medication but he communicated such to me in the most polite and charming worrisome way. He never insulted or made threats. I know narcs vary and some of what HG posts may not apply to all. (like the made up milestones post from yesterday). Nonetheless reading this still made my head spin because his wife may have had to hear some of this crap. She lives with him day in and day out. I did not. I was just a side dish. Hence why even my devaluation and discard was charming as fuck. 🙁

  9. Diva says:

    He said (mid range) that I needed a strait jacket (I can’t even remember why) ….so I said…..maybe I can use one belonging to your ex wife as she is bound to have a few after living with you for 10 years…..he did not like this comment…..he then said……I am glad your last partner died at least he doesn’t have to put up with you…….

  10. Matilda says:

    It’s a pity that we cannot just take the Lessers and Greaters aside and shoot them for their maliciousness…

    1. HG Tudor says:


      1. Matilda says:

        Well, this article triggered me…

      2. Bliss says:

        That made me laugh! Dark times breeds dark humour.

        Why not mid range?

      3. Matilda says:

        You’re welcome, Bliss! 😀

        Because Mid-Rangers are not malicious, not thoroughly *evil* like Lessers and Greaters… that’s why I would have mercy on the Whiny Sulkers.

        1. HG Tudor says:

          Malice is the preserve of the Greater.

      4. Matilda says:

        I meant malicious in the sense of spiteful, venomous and ferocious. The Greater is most controlled and aims for biggest impact whereas the Lesser acts mostly on impulse. I feel that they share this deep-seated, hot fury and desire for destruction, which is not displayed by the Mid-Ranger.

        Just an observation.

      5. Bliss says:

        Starting to wonder now if my ex mid ranger is in fact a greater. Malice is his middle name. With greater I was with, I’ve not witnessed malicious behaviour as such but I’ve never been privileged enough to get close enough to him. He always used that word to describe himself though, and proudly tells me tales to prove how vindictive or malicious he is when I didn’t believe him. I only saw the good in him. I still only see the good in him.

        From my years of experience with mid range and HG’s blog, I should know by now that the greater has no goodness in him whatsoever. But I simply refuse to believe it. I’d be the first to take the bullet for him if he were to be lined up to be shot. I’m sure HG would have a flock too who would do the same for him.

      6. Matilda says:

        “… the greater has no goodness in him whatsoever. But I simply refuse to believe it.”

        I feel torn about this as well. Part of me thinks there is something there, something human which needs to be unearthed and brought to life again… but the vindictiveness far beyond anything one would consider justified is just too daunting to even try. Better safe than sorry.

      7. Bliss says:

        Matilda, shoot on sight it is then! 😆

      8. Matilda says:

        Ha ha, Bliss, I have never held or used a firearm, not even a water pistol as a kid… and something tells me I should not learn how to do it! 😀

    2. Brian says:

      Except HG of course!

  11. echo says:

    I got a closely related “Who said I was done with you?” which really is creepy enough on its own, but it’s even creepier given the rest of the conversation, which ended with “Stay safe.”

  12. Mona says:

    This is so obvious. Time to leave at once. If that is not possible, an audio recording could help for escape and to show others what is behind the facade. .

  13. Scout says:

    Number 10, HG, what’s that about? Could you enlighten please?

  14. Klm says:

    I have thought some of these things…I guess there is evil in all of us.

  15. Dr. Harleen Quinzel PsyD. says:

    Here’s a favorite: “You’re just good enough to fuck.”

    1. Bliss says:

      Try this, mine basically said I wasn’t even good enough to fuck. Said I was the biggest turn off. All this not long after we have had some of the best 3x-a-night sex. Some serious mind-fuck going there. So I now have no confidence to date or ever wish to sleep with anyone else and he’s off in his quest to ruin many more new victims’ lives.

  16. Watermelon says:

    He has told me…”You have anger problems…which is a bit of a worry”. Said by a man who is disliked by most of this town due to his anger and kicked his own dog in the head for barking.

    Last Friday he knew I was behind him so he ran away from me, which made me laugh my head off. Yesterday he turned up at school (he wouldn’t have known I was there), tooted his horn…due to the running away, I ignored it, assuming it was to get his son’s attention. He flew out of his car, raced towards me yelling ‘are you deaf or just ignoring me’. My daughter said he looked like a mad man, the teacher I was with started to approach him (I had said ‘oh no my crazy neighbour is here, I’ve gotta run). He looked batshit crazy.

    They don’t like getting a taste of their own medicine.

    1. Dr. Harleen Quinzel PsyD. says:


      I got that line all the time “You have anger problems” or “You are such an angry person” ::eye roll::

  17. Anne says:

    Heard a few. What i found is they hurdle your worst fears, insecurities, faults, and pierce you with them in the most brutal way. It’s almost like a childhood hurt. The shocking nature, no empathy, as the watch you horrified at what they have said. The worst i heard was, “go commit suicide, i don’t care”. NO, i never threatened suicide!!! You can’t even imagine how your head spins, and your heart is pierced with the cruelty of it. And don’t bother even trying to tell their minions, family, skip it, don’t waste your energy you have left. They won’t believe you, you are crazy, and, and, and. They never see it, and they won’t do it around witnesses. In my case their was a roomate that knew, had heard some stuff, but no way would he challenge, tell, or lose his housing. But i swear, he was sucking the life out of him too!

    1. Watermelon says:

      Wow, that’s awful. I’m so sorry he told you to do that. I hope you are free of him now.

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