20 Cries of the Victim

20 CRIES OF.jpg

We do not think of ourselves as victims, to do so would be weak and we are not weak. You are. We are better than you. We do however feel put upon, hard done by and persecuted and it is you that does these things in order to victimise us. Evidencing our legendary double standards, we do not consider ourselves as victims as this does not accord with our sense of superiority, but we like to portray a victim mentality because doing so serves our purposes. There are many things that we say which evidence this mentality and when you hear them you should know that we are looking for you to respond. We want reassurance, praise, an admission of fault from you, confirmation that we are brilliant, an apology and for you to do what we want you to do. Playing the victim card allows us to gain fuel from sympathy and compassion, assistance when we do not want to do something, absolution from responsibility and preventing you from doing something we do not want you to do. Here are twenty cries of apparent victimhood.
You make my life so difficult.
Why are you treating me like this?
You never try to understand me,
What about me?
What am I going to do now?
How’s that supposed to make me feel?
You are meant to look after me.
It’s not my fault.
I can’t help the way I am.
Why must you be so difficult with me over this?
You never listen to me.
You always make it about you, never about me.
You never do what I want.
You don’t love me like you should.
You never do what I want.
You never let me speak.
You always treat me like a fool.
You are the reason for all of my problems.
You are trying to ruin my life.
Why do you do this to me?
Watch out for these comments from our kind because they are the foreshadowing of further manipulation of you.

7 thoughts on “20 Cries of the Victim

  1. JR says:

    “You always make it about you, never about me”
    “You never try to understand me”
    “You never listen to me”

    Sigh-would my ex also use those to deflect or otherwise gaslight me? I always got the distinct impression that she would throw those little zingers out just to exasperate me. I was frequently engaged in a conversation, listening intently and responding appropriately but each time I would be told that I wasn’t hearing, listening or understanding, and each time with increasing irritation and anger. We were not discussing splitting atoms or cardiothoracic surgery, mind you.

  2. Not So Sad says:

    I’ve just read a news item about an abuser who left his victim with horrific injuries ,when she came around after he’d strangled her unconscious & in the true spirit of victim hood.. his first words to her were…. ” That’s it – I won’t be a teacher now or anything thanks to you…

    What does the judge do ? give him a suspended sentence because he’s suffering from “mental health”issues … !

  3. Diva says:

    I can’t help the way I am…..I never felt as if I had anything to offer a woman……I just want someone that accepts me the way I am and the things that I do………HG are these the statements of someone that knows what they are?

    1. HG Tudor says:

      No, they are the statements of someone rolling out a Pity Play and showing a lack of accountability.

  4. RS says:

    “You never listen to me”…. I heard that more than once. 🙄

    1. JR says:

      If I had a dollar for every time I heard that, too, I’d be filthy rich. Did you find that he (presumably) said that at inappropriate times or when you genuinely were listening? Before I knew what I was dealing with, my ex GF would throw that out at random times and a propos of nothing. Just felt like saying it to throw me off or otherwise convince me that I was yet again doing something wrong. I even found myself pausing, totally perplexed as to WTF she was talking about.

      1. RS says:

        It was a he, yes. It was mostly when he was gaslighting me. I would say he said one thing and he would say you never listen to me. One time in particular, I was so mad at him. I loaned him a British DVD called “Before You Go”. I loved that movie and it was hard to find a version of it that would play in the United States. When he returned it, it wouldn’t play anymore. He said he fixed it so it could be played in the US and that I never listen to him when he told me this had to be done in order for it to play it. I had played it several times before I gave it to him. He never even said he was sorry. That movie had great sentimental value to me. Grrr

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