this picture sends terror through my body ..my personal experience?? the charm the chocolate the champagne the rose petal filled rooms ???the shopping trips and (I have my own money it was never about the money for me)… in the golden period they were given to me as extravagant gestures meant to bait and hook me .. down the road his over the top charm and gift giving meant I was going to pay and I was going pay in ways that were unimaginable…..I can hear his words ringing in my ears “you’re a waste of money a waste of time a waste of my effort …I go out of my way to do THESE things for you !!!!! you’re nothing but a waste…..”
Hg can I ask why narcs lend money and then block your number and vanish.? I’ve been stiffed for a small sum and blocked. Am I likely to hear from him again? He is a greater narcissist.
I assume you mean borrow money. It is done so that you will try and contact him thus making it easier for him to maintain a hold over you. You will hear from him again subject to the Hoover Trigger and Hoover Execution Criteria.
I have rang from a withheld number and left voicemails ranging from anger to tears etc. He has ignored them all for 2weeks. I have stopped trying now. Is that best? Will he contact me even after all the abusive names I called him on his voicemail? I was good supply. He is living with his partner still and I was his secret. How shall I play this HG? Thanks for your help x
I don’t want him back hg. I just need to know how to play this. Shall I continue not leaving messages trying to get my money back (£1000)? Will he get in touch? What shall I do if he does?
Thanks
I suggest you write off the money. He may get in touch if there is a Hoover Trigger and the HEC are met. If he does get in touch, ignore him and then remove the method by which he was able to contact you.
You mentioned that a typical golden period lasts from 6-24 months. What’s a typical ratio of the golden period to devaluation in your typical relationships. Is it 30:70? (30
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this picture sends terror through my body ..my personal experience?? the charm the chocolate the champagne the rose petal filled rooms ???the shopping trips and (I have my own money it was never about the money for me)… in the golden period they were given to me as extravagant gestures meant to bait and hook me .. down the road his over the top charm and gift giving meant I was going to pay and I was going pay in ways that were unimaginable…..I can hear his words ringing in my ears “you’re a waste of money a waste of time a waste of my effort …I go out of my way to do THESE things for you !!!!! you’re nothing but a waste…..”
gifts and charming behavior ? predicate abuse
I hated getting a gift from him of any sort
Hg can I ask why narcs lend money and then block your number and vanish.? I’ve been stiffed for a small sum and blocked. Am I likely to hear from him again? He is a greater narcissist.
I assume you mean borrow money. It is done so that you will try and contact him thus making it easier for him to maintain a hold over you. You will hear from him again subject to the Hoover Trigger and Hoover Execution Criteria.
I have rang from a withheld number and left voicemails ranging from anger to tears etc. He has ignored them all for 2weeks. I have stopped trying now. Is that best? Will he contact me even after all the abusive names I called him on his voicemail? I was good supply. He is living with his partner still and I was his secret. How shall I play this HG? Thanks for your help x
What do you want to achieve Dawn because it sounds to me like you want him back?
I don’t want him back hg. I just need to know how to play this. Shall I continue not leaving messages trying to get my money back (£1000)? Will he get in touch? What shall I do if he does?
Thanks
I suggest you write off the money. He may get in touch if there is a Hoover Trigger and the HEC are met. If he does get in touch, ignore him and then remove the method by which he was able to contact you.
Charming is a red flag.
Nice is a green flag.
You mentioned that a typical golden period lasts from 6-24 months. What’s a typical ratio of the golden period to devaluation in your typical relationships. Is it 30:70? (30
I would have to work that out Nat, there’s a few to get through.
So true !
Overly charming overt people make me nervous now.
Ditto! Narc affair & C. It is a huge red flag and makes me a bit nervous, too.
Very true!!
HG
Goodnight