The Narcissistic Truths – No. 120

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35 thoughts on “The Narcissistic Truths – No. 120”

  1. birdsworthblog & thepianist20, yes you can and you will. Life is about learning from our mistakes, and being the best versions of ourselves we can be. They say time heals all, in this case dealing with this nightmare of a disorder, and gaining the proper knowledge through, HG Tudor is what will set you free. If you read his blog you will see the answers are there. What helped me the most was setting up a few consultations with, HG via phone call. The consultations with, HG helped me with learning the school of narc I was entangled with, and the behaviors I was dealing with, and why. Good luck with your journey to healing. The truth shall set you free.

    1. Thank you very much HG Tudor’s #1 fan,,

      I do believe that I can, even when it feels like I can’t,, I’ve started my own YouTube channel to expose narcissistic abuse including my own experiences,,

      If I could last dethrone the narcissist that was in my life, then I CAN recover from him

      Thanks again 😁

  2. I am still patiently waiting for my hoover…….and then I intend to say these exact words to him…….Diva

    1. I understand both of you. The second one after me, said to me, ‘you shouldn’t play with the big boys if you can’t handle it’. That hurt so much at the time. And I never even told anyone as we were both married.

      But after she’d left her long term partner for him. Shortly after the N left her. (She was PD too), got back with her ex. Then the N tries to win her back. He does so she kicks out bf again. N dumps her and her ex won’t take her back.

      I realised at that point, I was glad I never said anything back to her. Because…… Enough said.

      Hugs and love x

      1. Hi Jenna…….there is method to my madness…….the reason I sign off Diva on my posts and also always types lots of ……………..is so I can easily see my own posts when I look back over the articles……….they stand out to me when I am quickly scrolling down 100 or more comments, as no one else does it. I also have a quirk about putting my name at the end of whatever I write……..I do it on texts too……Diva!!!!!

  3. Now this really boils my piss! I heard that from both my ex MMRN and his twerp IPPS! They can both go fuck themselves! Assholes! I hope they choke to death on their raw oysters and vodka martinis! I am feeling mild rage right now. Perhaps a (100 mile) walk might help assuage this feeling.

  4. Narcs will think this when it no longer fuels them and theyre tired of the reaction basically when it doesnt suit them. React and give fuel but when im bored of it you need to get over what i did to you….thats it in a nutshell.

  5. I’m finally over it! Damn never thought this day would come!!! The deamons are gone, he ever crap is gone… he hoovers like a maniac and I’m just chilling… what a freeaking relief!!!
    Three years of hell and I sleep well at night, enjoying life again!
    Thanks HG!!! My arms are blue from the rubber band and my neck is hurting from all the NO shaking.
    Most questions answered ….. I know you will not like this but you finally gave a girl her closure ❀️❀️❀️ (O well … you know what I mean)

  6. I know this one too well. It’s what my 2 friends say to me. They cant understand that it’s a battle. I am not the same person i was once. I don’t laugh as often as i used to. I’m not as silly as i used to be. I’m no longer the life of the party, which i used to be. They want that person back. But that person’s soul has been taken away.

    1. Hi Jenna. )

      Your soul will always be your own ( no matter what) but I agree a relationship with a narcissist & the devastating aftermath does change you as a person.

      People have expectations & as time passes expect you to be back to the same person they once knew .

      It doesn’t work that way does it sadly.

      I heard a song on the radio this morning which reminded me of” IT” you know what .. instead of turning it off I actually sang along .

      Here it is : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RglMIKG0GFw

      πŸ™‚

      1. I should add that I played this repeatedly post discard trying to convince myself that I didn’t care .

        The truth is I don’t Know πŸ™‚ Yayyyyy !

      2. Thx nss. That helps. He texted me this morning after abt 3 wks (he usually texts after 2 wks). I replied enthusiastically with ‘nice to hear frm u!’ His reply – 2 words : ‘yea, thx’
        πŸ˜”

      3. Why are you replying Jenna?

        Block Him .

        You’ll never have the chance to move on unless you do!

        Sorry If I sound harsh.

        Every time he texts you is another ” hoover” on his part .

      4. Nss, he texted me again later today asking how my day is going. We chatted for 20min. Then i said i have to go. Twenty min was enough for me.
        I cannot just cut him off becoz hearing frm him makes me happy. Today i was so happy after chatting w my ‘friend.’
        If i block him, i will feel sad. I’m co-dependent. There’s no hope for me. I am bound by my own self. I no longer meet him in person tho.

      5. I take that back. There is hope for me. (i am borderline so i’m always changing my mind).
        I never experienced a real devaluation. If he was ever uncaring, he would always apologize later. So without him being very mean, it is difficult for me to let go.
        However, I am not as attached to him as i used to be. I am weaning myself off him gradually, like a drug. I cannot do it cold turkey.
        Texting frequency has decreased considerably and i no longer text him. I only reply to his texts. It may not seem like much progress, but for me it is alot of progress.
        I used to panic without him but not any longer. (But that can change too since i’m borderline, but hopefully not).
        The audio consults have helped me considerably because i was not 100% sure if he’s a narc. He puts on a really good mask of kindness. I do not want to go no contact with him. But i do not want to text often. Once a month is enough for me now thankfully. And i know that the frequency will decrease further moving fwd.
        Narcs r troubled souls too. He says this world is not for him. That makes me sad. I am always wondering abt his well being and i’d rather ask him myself than ask his brother who told me last yr that he won’t give any info abt him.
        This is how i feel right now. It can change anytime since i am borderline.

      6. Hi Jenna…….I never experienced noticeable devaluation either…..and that makes it more difficult (in my opinion) to let go completely and go no contact. I say “noticeable devaluation” as I am fairly sure that I was being devalued in his mind and actions, but they were not known to me at the time. No contact is the only solution but you have to be at the right stage and frame of mind to implement it…….if you are not ready there is no point…….as you will waver and let them back in……..you will know when the time is right…….you will wake up one day and decide to do it and nothing or nobody will stop you…….that is how it was for me in any case…….Diva

      7. I just re-read my post and realized i keep writing that i’m borderline. How redundant!
        The other day, lisa asked abt borderlines on the blog and i was able to reply to her abt my experience and answer some questions. Since then, i like to point out my behaviors which are typically borderline so that readers may have examples. If anyone else is borderline or has a personality disorder, pls expand on it. It will give us all a chance to learn. Thank you.

      8. Hello Jenna πŸ™‚

        Thanks for replying .

        There is so much HOPE for you, but every time you answer a text or have that 20 minute chat it’s him ” Hoovering you ” & he’s doing it because he knows he can . In effect your’e giving him ” fuel ” & he’ll guzzle it up for as long as you allow him to
        ..
        Have you read HGs book ” No Contact ” ? If not please give it ago .

        https://www.amazon.co.uk/No-Contact-How-Beat-Narcissist-ebook/dp/B01C7U3I9U

        Abusers are like that ” itch” that never seems to go away aren’t they but ignore it for long enough & suddenly you realise it’s gone πŸ™‚

        XX

      9. Hi NSS! Thx for ur reply. πŸ’—
        I can’t go no contact with him but ty for the considerate suggestion. He is too nice to me. Sometimes the mask slips like when he said ‘yea thx’ and i see his uncaring side. But he apologizes or makes up for it promptly eg. texting me later asking how my day is going. Maybe if he is truly mean to me and crosses that line, i will rid myself of him. But for now, i don’t want to. I give him fuel, which i don’t mind because it’s positive fuel. And he gives me a mood uplift. I do not want to be his ipps again. I am fine w just texting approx once per month. He is long distance anyways.

      10. Hi Jenna.
        Thank you again for replying . πŸ™‚

        We all handled the situation we found ourselves in in our own way, & no one can dictate how we heal & move on if indeed we can .

        If your’re happy to continue with the monthly text or calls then I would never judge you for that , no one would . πŸ™‚

        You sound lovely , he doesn’t deserve you. πŸ™

        xx

      11. Nss,
        Thank u for not judging me and thank u for the compliment.
        You sound v lovely yourself. ☺️

      12. Hi Jenna……I definitely have a personality disorder…….although it has not been diagnosed…….the symptoms are………I can attract narcs or religious nuts within a 5 or maybe 10 mile radius……I am not sure which one is worse…..the narc or the religious nut…..god forbid that there is one that is both???????? I have no problem with religious people…..I am talking about the ones that latch on to you and preach within 5 seconds of meeting. I was at a Red Arrows air show on Saturday, sat on a patch of grass minding my own business, looking up to the sky, when one of these religious nuts with his leaflets decided to invade my space and chat about how life is like a 3 foot rope. I can’t remember anything else that he said, as all as I could visualise is what I would do with that 3 foot rope if I had it in my hands. Out of the thousands of people that there were at that show, this man had to sit next to me. I think I actually prefer narcs……….Diva

      13. Diva, u stated:
        “I definitely have a personality disorder…….although it has not been diagnosed…….the symptoms are………I can attract narcs or religious nuts within a 5 or maybe 10 mile radius…”
        Lol!! I don’t think that’s a personality disorder – maybe just that u have much empathy and they can spot u frm 10 miles! Ur post is hillarious! Thx!

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