A Letter to the Narcissist – No. 19


Dear “NoOne”…

This false persona you wake up to every day must be so exhausting.  Your vampirish skin tone is probably liver damage from drinking yourself into oblivion daily.  Paranoid freak with no need for human physical contact and you say this with pride.  The grandiosity and mystery – there is nothing there.  Your poor wife.  You married to appear “normal”.  Her eyes are sad and her soul is demolished. She was your sacrificial lamb.  I am sure she cringes when she hears you turn the key.  Living with you must be hell on earth.  I will bet my bottom dollar you are probably drunk every night.  You are probably drunk right now.  I have overheard some of your conversations with her.  The verbal abuse, emotional abuse, and I dread to think what physical abuse she may endure at your weak powerless hand.  You refer to marriage as a contract with restrictions.  What restrictions?  You do whatever the fuck you want whenever you want because she isn’t going anywhere.  You come home at midnight every night.  Of course she sees every woman is a threat.  Why?  She knows no one is off limits to you, you pig.  You are an emotional criminal.  You stole her happiness, slaughtered her soul and killed her spirit.  She looked so happy in your wedding picture on your desk.  She is tired.  She hates you.

Were we “friends” for 10 years?  No.  I was a walking target in the making – anything wearing a skirt is (although I am not 100% certain you are NOT gay).  I never did give you a second look.  You are very frat boyish for a man-boy with an Ivy League degree.   What you didn’t know was that I had a degree in Criminology – psychology of the criminal mind.  Probably thought I wasn’t very intelligent.  Just very attractive.  This would be easy for you.  You told me the first time you saw me I was wearing yellow, you would never forget, I left such an impression on you.  Bullshit – I hate yellow.  I don’t own anything yellow.  Last year you attempted to entangle me.   You knew I was recently remarried, you knew I was happy.  You hoped you’d change that.  Destroy me like emotional criminal you are.  You hated that I was and always will be a happy woman, complete, fulfilled with no self-esteem or self-worth issues.  You knew that a lot of very wealthy single men in the workplace had asked me out between marriages.  I didn’t accept the invites.  I don’t mix business with pleasure.  I became your next target.  Who knows how many poor souls have actually fallen for your bullshit?  You pontificate, you don’t converse.  You lecture, you don’t listen.  You anger so quickly.  I put you to the test.  Your eyes glistened thinking you had my attention.  I turned the tables on you.  Now you would feel what you make all the women feel.  You became MY project.   CASE #17/NARCOS.  I had studied “people” like you but had never come across one that would attempt entangling me.  HG confirmed what you were.  You would love to know who HG is wouldn’t you?  Perhaps he is the reason I am not interested in you. He finished confirming what you were.  This will mentally torture you, Narcos.  Who is he?  Who the hell is HG?  Where did he come from?  I am sure you will ask around.


Nothing works.  You can’t get my attention.  No fuel.  You ignore me for weeks on end, like you matter. You hope I will come looking for you.  When that doesn’t work you come looking for me.  Yep, you still don’t matter.  You are now incredibly angry, plotting revenge as your random messages to me go unanswered.  You text me telling me where my car is parked in a garage that houses 17 floors.  You know my license tag number.  FREAK.  How DARE I not answer your messages?    Easy.  Slide/Delete.  All those contain is more bullshit.  Your fingers must be so tired from typing.  Your soul is black.  When nothing worked you told me I was a Malkina, soulless.   No Narcos, that is you.  That’s called projection.


In seeking to destroy me, you destroyed yourself.  I am just a reminder of what a loser you are.  Not only did you not achieve entangling me in your web of deception, I now know what you are.  Your life is a game.


I win.



32 thoughts on “A Letter to the Narcissist – No. 19

  1. Lisa says:

    LOVED this!! Great letter!! Woohoo…

  2. Ajo says:

    Okay. So weird! The old narc boyfriend told me O was “yellow”. He probably faked it but acted like he had synesthesia and everyone was a color. He knew my favorite color was yellow so I figure he faked the whole thing to impress me with his “magical gift”. Gag

  3. Jreck says:

    I want to say this exact thing. Perfection

  4. anna says:

    Holy ***^*^. sent a letter to my narc and I think about half of it read verbatim to this one, but I was in purple. Good for the author for sticking to NC!

  5. Mark says:

    HG when can we expect your responses to these letters? I am looking forward to finding out how narcs would react to each letter.

    1. HG Tudor says:

      I do not have a precise date for when my responses to each of them will be published, Mark.

  6. Jah Princess says:

    My sentiments exactly.

  7. K says:

    This letter was very nice. In the beginning I felt such sadness and loss for the wife that it broke my heart; I understood that very well. And then I felt your contempt and disdain and I understand that, too. Hatred is a powerful and strong emotion that can impel people to do marvelous things. People underestimate its beauty and potential, however, you do not. Hold onto your hatred; it is a magnificent feeling and will keep you safe. Your letter is sublime.

  8. Ginger Blue says:

    Recognize not “reignite “ I was talking in my phone

  9. Ginger Blue says:

    There’s nothing wrong with M being angry. Boundaries were crossed and she have a right to be. The firey anger fades and it remains as a warm reminder. It’s just so crazy making how all narcs sound and act the same. It is also crazy how their mind seduction works on even the most intelligent . Anger is even reflected inward because you are so dumbfounded and jaded that someone could actually fool you. How many times do you come back after you say no this is not good and then they took it back and you coming in to their world . So many times . Until finally this is when the super empath becomes unstoppable in life . They recognize the fight between intuition and affirmation and from this point forward intuition will forever win . And it is so true when you look at the former girlfriends and the wives of the narcs especially when you find out that they were married they looked defeated they are merely empty shells of women who have tear stained glass eyes and their smiles are barely there. Hopefully for you M… later in life if you are plagued with trauma in your marriage or life you will be able to reignite a preditor … I know for me personally it wasn’t until I was the most vulnerable in my life that I was unable to listen to my intuition. That’s why I say when you are really f…. over by one of these narcs … This is when you are immune. Very well written letter . If I would’ve seen the eyes of the woman before me I would’ve been able to see the damage that he caused. The older they get the more covert they get the older they get the better they get.

  10. A says:

    There is a massive amount of anger and detailed knowledge and consideration for the wife – it does not sound un-entangled to me. Rather like a very late and lucky escape. It is very well-written either way.

  11. Just Me says:

    Her eyes are sad and her soul is demolished. She was your sacrificial lamb. I am sure she cringes when she hears you turn the key.


    How clearly you see through her sad eyes. That was me. Fortunately, fire still burned that the tears could not drown. Thank you for the reminder of who I was and will never be again.

  12. Kim michaud says:

    Great job I need ur strength and courage kudos to u

  13. C★ says:

    i can appreciate and relate to this “letter to the N”….. the prize goes to “Malkina”

  14. narc affair says:

    Great job seeing the signs of narcissism and avoiding entaglement. My hope is his wife can leave at some point he sounds like hes horrible to her 🙁 self esteem, self worth, solid boundaries and knowledge of narcissism all armors against becoming victimized.

  15. SuperXena says:

    Hello “Malkina”!
    Your letter is amazing!
    Interesting that your ex narcissist mentioned the colour yellow ( even though you were not wearing yellow). It is said that yellow represents “sunshine, hope, and happiness” although it could represent as well” cowardice and deceit”. Interesting he said that about your wearing yellow the first meeting.
    This letter really shows that you are not a Malkina.

    My absolute best part ( quoting what you wrote):
    ….” How DARE I not answer your messages? Easy. Slide/Delete. “

  16. Kiava says:


  17. Diva says:

    This appears to be one of the few success stories we so desperately need on here. The only thing that puzzles me is the question “were we friends for 10 years?” —— I know if I were in the sightline of a narc I would be lucky if he waited 10 minutes before latching onto me…….although I do recall that article where HG wrote about watching and adoring someone in a workplace for 10 years. Regardless of my query……I liked this letter the most so far…..because it appeals to my sense of hope that someone has sussed out a narc and repelled them BEFORE becoming entangled. Although it’s the complete opposite of all of my own situations to date……this needs to be my new mission in life……Diva

    1. Tappan Zee says:

      Diva. She was a target. Potential victim. My nex knew me 20+ yrs. I was no use to him, at least not beyond tertiary. And he was married the latter portion and during my promotion. He window shopped me I suppose. And swooped in at the time he deemed appropriate. To say I wore yellow… Unicorns and rainbows. BS from the start. I always love YOU blah blah. It doesnt make sense. Until hindsight. Then it does.

      1. narc affair says:

        Hi tappan zee…i loved your letter! Do you think the mrntion of yellow was a form of gaslighting? To see if he could snow you over with that comment? I know in devaluement they will purposely say these things to send the message that they dont pay attention to us and dont notice enough bc were not important. When in actuality they made the mistaken comment on purpose. I think in your case it was gaslighting to see if youd go along with his incorrect remark about yellow?

      2. Tappan Zee says:

        narcaffair— that wasn’t my letter. i could relate to the yellow. i hate that too and would NEVER wear it. the implied you’re not worth me saying accurate bs to so i am going to dub it with intentional inaccurate bs? yes. on purpose..

  18. Noname says:

    Sad letter. I see a lot of hate there (no wonder why and I understand you) and that means that he does matter to you. The hate is an active feeling, the sign of the fact, that “everything is alive and raw”. He is “alive” inside of you. Even now.

    Better to accept that the “sh*t happens sometimes” situation, then to “digest” your hate and then to convert it into healthy indifference. Respectful indiffetence. Because if you don’t respect people, you don’t respect yourself.

    Thank you for sharing your story, Malkina. It was interesting to read your letter. I wish you good luck.

    1. Anne says:

      Are you saying she should respect the narc? What a waste of human emotion. He is not worth an ounce of respect.

  19. angela says:

    very good Malkina !! Congratulations!!
    We know who they are
    They are the looser..always!!

  20. Tanya says:

    Malkina, you are my hero ❤️

  21. Paula Sarno says:

    Love this letter ! One escaped for not being entagled ever !!!!! 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻😂😂

  22. Suzie says:

    Ok narcisissts target empaths. So we empaths do need to gain that knowledge so that we can properly protect ourselves. However if we didn’t have co dependency issues we wouldn’t keep putting up with the abuse. So codepents out there you need to get treatment for the co depency so that you learn to set boundaries, stop being a door mat and learn that you deserve respect. If you do not focus on a program to recover from the codepency( as I have had to) then dropping the narcissist probably won’t do you much good because often times you will just find another narcissist to do the dance with. They take without looking around to give, you give without thinking about taking. Neither is healthy or balanced. If you are healthy you will be drawn to other healthy people. You can keep pointing the finger at the narcissist but you need to realize that you need recovery also. I have had to finally face the fact that I was codepent. I just kept being draw to narcissists and they were drawn to me. Now that I have recovered the familiar dance no longer works.

    1. narc affair says:

      Hi suzie…..i completely agree about codependancy! I really feel its the core of the problem. You can be independant in many areas but still codepedant emotionally. Narcissists are codependant on fuel yet many are very successful people financially and career wise.

    2. narc affair says:

      Suzie…i forgot to ask you what all did you do to recover? Thx

    3. narc affair says:

      Meant to also say that not only are codependants targeted but sometimes they go looking without realising it for the very individuals that will abuse them. This is in no way victim shaming bc ive myself been guilty of it. Were drawn to toxicity bc we are broken in ways and look for whats familiar instead of choosing a different pathway and getting different results. Again im guilty of this. I was looking for a narcissist to create a dream world to whisk me away from my problems and make me feel whole but only i can do that in reality. The problem is hes really good at it and now its hard to break free to work on the areas that shouldve been worked on before i met him.

  23. Tappan Zee says:

    He is yellow. Coward.
    He is yellow. Cirrhosis.
    He is yellow. Captured.
    Living in his cell of yellow.
    Narcs are so similar. Gawd.

    1. K says:

      Excellent TZ! I like the way you think.

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