Kiss Me



The kiss is probably the pinnacle of romanticism from everything that I have observed. The couple who flirt with one another throughout the film in an attempt to create a will they or won’t they scenario, finally kiss and everybody smiles. The kidnapped child is finally reunited with his parents and is smothered in relieved kisses. The power of seduction that exists in that first kiss between a passionate couple which then leads to their love making. A kiss good bye on a steam filled railway platform. As ever, books and films have played their part in elevating the status of the kiss to near legendary status.

Like so much of what I do, the kiss is a weapon which I use to maximise the impact of my machinations. At the outset I shall use it to overpower you. You are unlikely to have much resistance to my overtures following my campaign of love-bombing but if there is any it will be obliterated the first time I kiss you. I have studied a thousand  kisses. From Burt Lancaster and Deborah Kerr in From Here to Eternity to Clark Gable and Vivien Leigh in Gone With the Wind through to Demi Moore and Patrick Swayze in Ghost. I have viewed Audrey Hepburn jump from her taxi to kiss George Peppard in the rain in the film, Breakfast at Tiffany’s and the post-nuptial kiss between Prince Charles and Princess Diana. It is not just the famous kisses that have been subjected to my scrutiny. I have sat at railway stations and watched the greeting kiss, full of excitement and passion or the departure kiss which encapsulates longing. I have watched the almost frenzied and desperate embrace that arises from a man finally ensnaring his quarry in a nightclub after spending a couple of hours chatting her up. Whilst sipping from my drink in a restaurant I see hundreds of kisses between spouses, lovers, friends and acquaintances all delivered in different styles with varying emphasises. All of this knowledge is collated and stored ready for my use.

I have been told many times how good a kisser I am. I am blessed with full lips and therefore do not suffer the sometimes dispassionate affliction that can befall those who have lips of a thinner nature. From my observations I have learned to make my advance slowly, lingering just in front of the other person’s lips as I reach a hand up to cradle their neck and let my fingers lightly caress the back of their neck. My soft lips press gently against theirs and then I retreat slightly before advancing again and then retreating. I do this several times before allowing my mouth to press on to theirs and remain there as we lock our embrace, lips moving slowly together, each time moving a little wider until a tentative tongue gently probes and touches against hers. My tongue flicks back and forth as the embrace grows stronger. I can hear her low moan of delight and know that this approach is working. I reach another arm around her and pull her closer to me, bodies pressed against one another and now her mouth has opened wider, her own tongue almost battling with mine. I know that the tingle will be racing up and down her spine; I know that she will feel the churning in her stomach and that light headedness will be sweeping across her. I am well practised in the art of the seductive kiss and during our golden period I shall allow you to experience it often. I shall do it when we meet in my house at the end of the day, I will embrace you in that fashion when I lead you by the hand to our bedroom and I shall surprise you by grabbing hold of you in the lift and kissing you in this way.

What of course is all the sweeter about being able to embrace you in such a scintillating fashion is the fact that I will withdraw this marvellous kiss. You will take hold of me and push your mouth against mine only to find that my lips are set rigid and do not respond in the way you have been used to. There is no warmth or passion. You wonder where it has gone. The truth is that there was never any there to begin with. Like so much of what I do, it is an artifice purely designed to capture you and make the inevitable denigration all the more contrasting. I can see the confusion in your eyes as you try again to kiss me but the effect is the same. You look at me, eyes searching for an answer but I do not offer one. You ask me what is wrong and I look away and say that there is nothing wrong. I have a variety of responses which confuse you when you try to kiss me or expect to be kissed. When once I kissed you often and repeatedly I will reduce it to next to nothing. This reduction coupled with a lack of explanation has you flailing around for some kind of reason. You end up blaming yourself of course that is to be expected. I will do any or all of the following:-

  1. Remain tight-lipped when we kiss;
  2. Move my head so you kiss my cheek rather than my mouth;
  3. Put my hand up and block your advance;
  4. Hug you instead so that your kiss flies into thin air over my shoulder
  5. Just walk away

Where once my kiss was magical and uplifting, now it is cold or non-existent. You relished our passionate embraces and now you find yourself remarking how it is like kissing an automaton or a mannequin. I do not care. All I wish to achieve is your pained and hurt reaction to the cold front that I exhibit where once there was heat and passion.

22 thoughts on “Kiss Me

  1. D says:

    I taught him how to kiss

  2. Medusa says:

    …and kissing the beloved is so absolutely delicious, the contact of the mouths, the looks when the faces come closer … everything seems to stop around, if I could give you something HG is that special feeling …

    1. HG Tudor says:

      I appreciate the sentiment Medusa, I will take the fuel thanks.

  3. Antifragile says:

    The mid-range cerebral was terrible in kissing. I was long years disgusted to do it with somebody, after a year of having him with his robotic experiments.

    Also he liked some risky places – for example, the university in the evening when somebody still can come and see what’s going on…
    And had poor hygiene skills. He definitely lacks the somatic part…

  4. 12345 says:

    Mine had the excuse of feeling like he might be coming down with a cold. Then he would give a little cough and sniffle. Now, this didn’t keep him from having sex with me and having his face about two inches from mine for an hour until I was put on the shelf, but it did keep him from kissing me. He simply knew I liked it so he took it away.

  5. Lucy says:

    Reading this, although somewhat useful is also a disappointingly accurate to the T account of him.

  6. Ugotit says:


  7. Lisa says:

    The tHiNg had no clue on how to kiss. And the Con Man was even worse. Well almost worse. He had no idea either. There’s nothing more frustrating than kissing someone who is an awful kisser. Its like they need lessons. Clearly, Ive been missing out!!!

  8. Kris says:

    This could be a scene in a movie. Heart breaking and sad.

  9. BurntKrispyKeen says:

    Pretty steamy stuff… until it diverts to the manipulation, of course.

    1. HG Tudor says:


  10. RJ says:

    Rejection with no reason and no closure to follow. Its not only in a kiss, it could be an embrace, an intimate moment or just being present within the same space. It hurts, devalues you as the feeling of together feels more like alone. Sometimes it takes a while to figure it out, but it comes to a head soon enough and you realize it was a forerunner of the casting away to come.

  11. BurntKrispyKeen says:

    I need a cold shower.

    1. Nuit Étoilée says:

      You’re not the only one…

  12. Hope says:

    Your body will respond to passionate kisses … but do your thoughts ever get relaxed in the midst of romantic enjoyment? – or do you always remain detached & in control of your thoughts while kissing?

    1. HG Tudor says:

      There is a detachment through the triple tracking as the fuel rises.

      1. Nuit Étoilée says:

        What triple tracking?

        ..this is such incredible description.. I want to know if it’s true to life..

        You’ve never experienced a truly passionate kiss, & you wonder why I wish you could?!

        1. HG Tudor says:

          It is detailed more in the Confessions books.

      2. Nuit Étoilée says:

        Thank you, HG – I love it when you give me reading suggestions – any others for me?

  13. Dr. Harleen Quinzel PsyD. says:

    That’s interesting because my ex used to complain that I never kissed him anymore.

    I mean I didn’t because…I didn’t want to. I didn’t feel anything but irritation …. so …. I often avoided it. He would also often ask me to kiss him while we were having sex and I just thought…. ugh …. I didn’t want to.

    I was the one who actually did all of those things above.

    I mean in the very beginning I would but that disappeared pretty fast for me.

    1. Dr. Harleen Quinzel PsyD. says:

      I figure it’s because I didn’t want him sexually anymore and I didn’t feel connected and how could we forget the growing hatred, resentment, and contempt….

  14. Lola says:

    Intoxication and desolation.

Vent Your Spleen! (Please see the Rules in Formal Info)

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Previous article

You Are The Competition