Total Collapse Of Your Heart


Music. One of the most powerful ways of conveying feelings and emotions. From the tension inducing strings used in the shower scene in Psycho, to the ominous double bass as the shark theme from Jaws (my ring tone incidentally) and to the uplifting melodies of Walking on Sunshine, music has a formidable power to instill sadness, joy and fear. From the earliest days of our existence as we delighted in the sung nursery rhymes of Three Blind Mice or the excitement of a toddler recognising the theme tune to his or her favourite television programme through to the regal Entrance of the Queen of Sheba at a wedding or the accompanying sounds to a funeral,music is all pervading and all powerful. Music creates the urge to dance and to sing. It inspires and motivates. Think how much further you can run on that treadmill when you listen to some up tempo dance music or your favourite pop tunes.Supermarkets alter the music played over the tannoy to influence the speed at which shoppers move about the store, advertisers look for that annoyingly catchy jingle that is always associated with a particular product and if you are placed on hold some soothing strings are played to you in order to maintain its patience (although I must concede that does not always have the desired effect). Music has the capacity to change moods in an instant, to heighten feelings and manipulate emotions and of course it is this last characteristic of music that is so useful to our kind.

We use music extensively in the way that we manipulate. We may exhibit our proficiency with a musical instrument to lure you to us, this being a particularly favourite step of the cerebral of our kind. Our somatic brethren use the breathless excitement of a frenetic and popular entertainer at the sold-out concert to draw their prey. We ensure that we create a catalogue of songs which will generate Ever Presence when we have discarded you or you try to escape us through the application of no contact. Every time you hear the opening strains of The Power of Love, your mind is taken back to the times we held one another as we listened to that song and I pledged to ‘protect you from the hooded claw, keep the vampires from your door’.You are engulfed in sadness at such a memory and music has taken you back to that time in an instant. We of course always look to create ‘our song’ which we use at first as a device to hook you, hold you and then repeatedly remind you of what we once had and torture you in the months and years following the cessation of our relationship. Naturally, when assessing you as a target, I had regard to the songs you posted late at night, perhaps when you were mulling over a previous relationship, on your Face Book news feed. I worked through your social media, making a note of the songs you refer to and the context as I begin to compile that playlist for use when I commence my seduction of you. I may use a Lieutenant to gain access to your CD collection or to scroll through your Itunes list. He or she will have particular regard to how often certain songs have been played, when looking on itunes and feeding that information to me. I make use of your list of songs and then supplement that list with the stock lists which I have and repeatedly use. I have such ready-made playlists of my favourite songs dependent on your favourite genres, accordingly I have a pop one, a rock one, a dance one, a classical one, a soundtrack one and so on. All except rap. Rap is no use when trying to seduce.

If you revel in the disposable joy of pop music I will have a set of tracks for use with you when I seduce you. I know these are effective because I used them with my last pop-loving victim. One of my favourite methods of seduction is to not tell you how I feel about you directly but always convey it via the power of music. I will send you a text with a song title which will implicitly suggest that you look it up on YouTube or Itunes and in so doing you will sit and smile as the music washes over you and the seduction begins to envelop you. I may send you the link for the song, or I may purchase the CD and leave it on the passenger seat of your car for you to play. I may feign that I was so hurt by my last relationship that I struggle to tell you how I feel and can only do so through the medium of music. This makes you feel special and each time I provide you with the details of a song I provide you with a concentrated blast of delicious and addictive seduction.

By contrast, during my devaluation of you I will deny ever liking certain songs that I once professed to love, in order to confuse you. I will change the type of music that I prefer and claim I have always loved that music. I will denigrate your music choices, complaining loudly if you play certain music or leaving the room. When I know you are struggling and feeling weak I will then revert to the seduction tactics and suddenly fill the room with the sound of a particular song which is so very significant to you and just stand and stare at you waiting for the inevitable tears to start to flow along with the fuel that I desire. Music is a powerful tool in our hands, it allows us to seduce, it allows us to denigrate and it allows us to seduce once again. It lifts you up, it makes you feel cherished and special because we know exactly the right pieces of music and songs to  play to you. We know, just like that catchy song, how to ensure that every time you hear certain songs you remember us and the pain and longing flows once again. Music is a major weapon that we are able to use. As Bonnie Tyler sang, “Once upon a time I was falling in love, now I’m only falling apart.”

27 thoughts on “Total Collapse Of Your Heart

  1. mpathetick says:

    Hi HG, I think this a very interesting topic about emotion and empathy. My definition of (good) art is something man-made that can imitate life and spark an emotion in the observer. It can be a book, a movie, a song, a poem etc etc, and if it’s good, it’ll tap into a LOT of people’s emotions. It’s a direct line. I understand, that may be a subjective perspective, but what I’m curious about is how the N would be so keen as to use art/music to his/her advantage, specifically love songs which s/he cannot feel? I recently went to see Beethoven’s 9th (which of course was amazing) in concert and they played a few random pieces from different artists one of which being Wagner’s Prelude to Lohengrin. The violin’s were working me like the saddest movie I had ever seen, literally, slowly turning the tap to the wells of my eyes. It was so beautiful, way more moving than Beethoven’s 9th (wow did I just say that? Because I LOVE it).

    Anyway, pertaining to music, could a song tap into your heart/soul, have a direct line inside you and make you feel something you may not want to feel and so you shut it down? How does it work for you?

    1. HG Tudor says:

      No, there is nothing there to shut down. It is an intellectual response whereby music is utilised for the purposes of control.

  2. Bonita says:

    Can the narcissist feel the music? Do you have emotions when you listen to music?

    1. HG Tudor says:

      No. We utilise the descriptions of others to add that feeling for the purposes of manipulation.

  3. Pineapple says:

    This song by Swedish artist Agnes Carlsson “Release Me”, it is still haunting me today !

  4. Nuit Étoilée says:

    I now hear narc dynamics in many songs, ex:

    Adele, Cold Shoulder
    Taylor Swift, I Knew You Were Trouble
    Damian Lynn, When We Do It
    Dua Lipa, New Rules **THIS** 😉
    “One, don’t pick up the phone
    You know he’s only calling ’cause he’s drunk and alone
    Two, don’t let him in
    You have to kick him out again
    Three, don’t be his friend
    You know you’re gonna wake up in his bed in the morning
    And if you’re under him
    You ain’t getting over him”

    Feder – Blind (Didn’t see it comin’) *love this to dance

    And for you, HG how about – Ofenbach, Be Mine (esp the video ha ha!)
    *from the narc perspective :p

    1. Gabrielle says:

      Nuit Etoielee,
      Doc HQ dedicated “New Rules” to me a few months ago. LOL.

      “Don’t be his friend, you’re just gonna wake up in his bed in the morning…if you are under him, you ain’t getting over him”…

      So very true!

      1. Nuit Étoilée says:

        😂 Gab, I thought of you – of us, w this post & when I hear this song 😉
        Come on girl, you can do better 😘

  5. I’ve got one for the narc: Here Is A Heart

    Jenny Owen Youngs. I have found so many of her songs to have been a fitting soundtrack to many times in my life.

    Only way she could be writing these songs is from experience.

  6. 12345 says:

    Layla – Eric Clapton. The original, not acoustic. That’s really the only song he would refer to with and play for me. He said it always made him think of me because he loves me and worries about me so much. Yeah, that sounds true said no one ever.

  7. Noname says:

    Interesting article about music. I was thinking a lot about it, when I read it first time.

    There are a lot of music that appeal to many facets of Empath’s soul.

    But what I noticed, that there are not much of music that would really appeal to a Narc’s soul!

    Listen to “Wieghtless” (Washed out), Tudor.
    You will like it.

    1. Antifragile says:

      There are some songs approaching close to the narcissistic soul – among all I know, the closest to the view from the inside are Black Veil Brides: ‘Wretched and Divine’, ‘Goodbye Agony’ – to name few… and many other texts of Andy Black …

      “Heaven’s gone, the battle’s won
      I had to say goodbye
      Lived and learned from every fable
      Written by your mind
      And I wonder how to move on
      From all I had inside
      Place my cards upon the table
      In blood I draw the line
      I’ve given all my pride

      Living a life of misery
      Always there, just underneath
      Haunting me, quietly alone
      It’s killing me, killing me
      Dead and gone, what’s done is done
      You were all I had become
      I’m letting go of what I once believed
      So goodbye agony”

      Or this one, even the visuals chosen:
      And all the albums cover pictures… grandiose, pathetic and broken.
      I will not wonder if Andy is Greater Somatic (or even Elite) himself after all his honest inner world expressions, being god of such calibre for the young generation.

  8. Narc Angel says:

    Yes, music and lyrics sent from all. I have received Black (Pearl Jam) probably as many times as your kind has been delivered You Ought To Know (Alanis Morissette) lol. Of course two can play that game.

    During Seduction I have responded with a little:
    Turn Me On (Norah Jones)
    Patadise (Sade)

    In the golden period:
    Better Than All The Rest (Tina Turner)
    Nothing Compares To You (Prince not Sinead)
    Closer (to God) (Nine Inch Nails)

    Would I Lie to You (Eurythmics)
    You Better Be Good To Me (Tina Turner)
    Wicked Game (HIM not Chris Issak)
    Straight On (for you) (Heart)

    Make It Rain (Ed Sheeran)

    All fuel both sides. Fun.

  9. RJ says:

    Interesting enough I was thinking about songs and narcissists a while back and thought narcissists are good for the music industry! I believe that interactions with narcissists create themes for all genres of music. Hurt, anger, confusion, psychological/self searching, suicide, death, murder, loneliness, self improvement, self loathing/hurting, strength, weakness, confidence, low esteem, promiscuousness, religion, conceit, alcoholism/drugs, etc….. Anyone listen country music. So many songs about the aftermath and being in relationships good and bad. Metal can get deep into the mind sometimes with the anger and the frustration and you turn it up. Country can get to your inner feelings (if you have them). Popular music is all over it too. I have been on the receiving end of a songs message. The message was projected by my NGF that I didn’t love her anymore which was so far from the truth. Fact was it was the final stages of my devaluation and she used those words of the song as an excuse to carry out her actions. Her mindset projection to me was (you don’t love me so I can devalue you and hurt your feelings) because truthfully I don’t love you/never did, but I’m not gonna let you know dummy. I should have taken heed to the warning I was given.

    1. HG Tudor says:

      All valid observations RJ, our kind are good for the industry in terms of providing performers and material.

  10. Antifragile says:

    “All except rap. Rap is no use when trying to seduce.”
    Ha ha ha ha
    So true.

    My N shared with me songs about narcissists. Rather things about his soul than seductive ones.
    Like “Porcelain” by Scott, Lund “Broken” etc.
    Sincere? Warned me? I don’t know.

  11. Bibi says:

    Actually, I think Bonnie Tyler’s best song about a Narcissistic relationship is ‘It’s a Heartache.’

    It’s from our perspective, of course.

    ‘When you find he doesn’t care about you…Love him till your arms break, then he let’s you down.’

    Pretty much.

  12. Is That Love?
    No, it was not.

    He used to use this to try to tell me I was the one who was dominant in the relationship.
    Ppppfffttt! 😛

    “Our song” got changed alot. Because The Night,7-11 (because we met there, but by the Pinball Wizard machine,otherwise this was perfect for his use) Is That Love?, Double Fantasy

    In the end he had fixation with The Pina Colada Song, don’t what its really titled, I was irritated at it cause I don’t like it and he knows it. I said “We don’t have a song, but currently my song is “F**K was I” (thinking)!

  13. BurntKrispyKeen says:

    So true! Music is powerful.

    He used certain songs, sending me links to YouTube to help aid his seduction. Then, to lure me back, he would send three or four links at a time to various songs with the sweetest words.

    But once he felt he had gained back some control… when I was hoping to uncover some deeper sentiments from him, I’d ask, “About that song?” … He’d then reference something mechanical, such as he enjoyed the guitar solo or always liked that particular artist.

    He would downplay the message of the song, never admitting to the words portraying his feelings. I’m starting to see that is because all of those songs didn’t represent what I had once hoped for… So different from his sweet, poetic words in the beginning!

    By the way, your words were well written. Nice piece.

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Thank you BKK.

  14. gabbanzobean says:

    “We use music extensively in the way that we manipulate. We may exhibit our proficiency with a musical instrument to lure you to us, this being a particularly favourite step of the cerebral of our kind.”

    Yep. Piano.

    And I disagree about rap music not being of any use to seduce. A little “Back That Ass Up” by Juvenile never hurt anyone…

    “Girl you look good won’t you back that ass up
    Call me Big Daddy when you back that ass up
    Girl who is you playin with, back that ass up
    I could fuck you right, yeah, all night, yeah
    Want to bring it to my house, yeah, on the couch, yeah…”

    Romantic AF! Seriously. 🙂

  15. Chingona says:

    I’m immediately post d&d, and yesterday went through my phone eliminating those very type songs. Today he posted a well written piece of poetry on craigslist- on of our “things” for a few years. Hot and Cold Running Mr Beautiful. Good gawd, do I have a penchant for intense and intelligent narcissists.

    HG is better than a therapist, friend, or clergyman…this is the first time i’ve seen myself through their eyes. It’s splendid! My fellow targets are as cookie cutter as the offending party.

    Lol, I refuse… I no longer intend to follow a script for a role I didn’t know I was playing. That includes what I’m supposed to feel/think/do from now on.

  16. Deneene says:

    HG, Do you ever use music as fuel yourself? Does music move you at all, or does that mean you have to have a larger range of your own feeling…. hmmm. Im curious as how musuc effects you specifically… not just how you use it toward your victims….

    1. HG Tudor says:

      I use it to triangulate – not always in a bad way. It reminds me of events and people and therefore acts as a Hoover Trigger.

  17. Ting says:

    He professed early on that “our” song was I Want To Know What Love Is by Foreigner. I look back on the that now and realize how much he must have enjoyed that.

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Indeed, Ting.

  18. Ugotit says:

    he seduced me with an Arab song called she spread the sand of the sea by Mohammed affify I think his name was this song kills me to this day I dedicated to him it feels like home oh god those were good days it’s all over now

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