You Were Warned



“You know you really shouldn’t get involved with me you know, I am damaged.”

“Well, it is a little bit late for that isn’t it? I am already involved.”

“I know and I am glad to hear you tell me that, really I am, because I want you more than anything. I have not wanted anybody else in the way I want you but it is because of that I think you would be better off without me.”

“Don’t be silly, what do you mean by that?”

“You are so wonderful, so perfect. I truly have not met anyone like you. It is as if everything I have ever wanted and needed in somebody has been put together and rolled into one.”

“That is lovely of you to say, but I am not perfect, far from it.”

“To me you are.”

“Bless you, that is so sweet. I think you are wonderful too, not at all damaged. I cannot believe you said that.”

“Well I am.”

“Not from where I am sitting. You are incredible. Thoughtful, loving, attentive, interesting, sensual and so passionate. Those are just a few of the things that spring to mind when I think about you.”

“What else?”

“Oh let me see. Generous, yes generous and kind, considerate and successful. Entertaining as well. I don’t think I know anybody who can light up a room like you do. I love to watch you when you have everyone’s attention, I can see how much they love to listen to you.”

“Oh you are just saying those things to make me feel better.”

“No not at all, I mean every word, I really do. I have not met anyone as special as you and that is why I love you as I do.”

“You shouldn’t, I don’t mean to be rude, but you will only get hurt.”

“How? By you?”



“I don’t know; I just always seem to mess things up. It may sound strange but somehow I want to think, I mean, I kind of know it should work with you, with you more than anybody else, I suppose I am just terrified that what we have is so wonderful, so perfect that I might do something to ruin it and then you would be hurt and I could not stand for that to happen.”

“You see, there you are again, considerate and kind.”

“I could not live with myself if I hurt you and I just do not want to run that risk of that happening. You do not deserve to be hurt.”

“That won’t happen, I can feel it. What you and I have is something out of the ordinary.”

“Yes we have haven’t we?”

“Absolutely. I love you and you love me and nobody is going to change that.”

“I know, I know, but what if, you know I do something?”

“Like what?”

“I don’t know, it is just that well, previous relationships have not exactly been successful have they? My track record is not great.”

“No but that wasn’t your fault was it? Look, you told me all about what has happened in the past. Not many men would be so honest as you to admit to what you have gone through. That takes real courage and is typical of the honesty and decency you exude. You are a good man and you have been treated abhorrently by some wicked people. Oooh, if I ever met them, I don’t know what I would do.”

“I knew you would understand. You always do. You get me. They never did you see. I tried you know. I always tried to make it work. I just wanted both of us to be happy but you know when whatever you do is not enough? When no matter how hard you try to please somebody but they always find some kind of fault? That was them. They made me feel like it was my fault a lot of the time. They had that way of twisting everything around so I was made out to be the villain. It is hard to explain it, but that is what they did.”

“I understand. There are some people who just delight in the misery of other people but that is not going to happen with you and me.”


“No. We have both suffered previously.”

“I know. That is why I do not want to hurt you, you have had enough from the past and you deserve to be treated properly.”

“Well that is what you do. I could not ask for a better boyfriend, I really could not. You put me first, ahead of everything and you do so much for me. I really do appreciate it and each day I feel more in love with you because of what you do for me.”

“Thank you. That is all I want. Both of us to be happy. I think it must just be because of what has happened in the past, I am worried that this time, having found you, it will go wrong again and you will be hurt and I could not live with that.”

“Honestly, there is nothing to worry about. You have just been made to feel like this because of what they have done to you. It is understandable. I know you won’t hurt me. How could anyone who says the things you say to me ever hurt me? I have never had someone say the wonderful and beautiful things you say to me before. You leave me in tears. Tears of happiness admittedly because you just know what to say, you understand me.”

“Yes. There is a connection and it is deep and meaningful and I do not want that ever to be severed. I will fight to my dying breath to stay connected to you. I want to become you.”

“See, there you go again, saying the most wonderful things.”

“You bring it out in me. If it wasn’t for you I don’t know what I would do.”

“Well you don’t have to wonder do you? You’ve got me and you always will have.”

“Do you mean that?”


“You see I am really in heaven every time we kiss. I don’t ever want to hurt you or lose you.”

“That will never happen. You have me forever.”

“I hope so, I really do.”

“You do. Now, let’s not have any more talk about you hurting me, that isn’t going to happen. We have the rest of our lives to be together and be happy. Let me get another bottle of wine, no, it is my turn, you stay there. You do enough running around after me, let me do something for you for a change.”

“Okay, same again please.”

“Coming right up. I love you.”

“I love you too.”

Listen to ‘You Were Warned’

16 thoughts on “You Were Warned

  1. Burnt Victim No14783383 says:

    The more I read into your posts, it’s frightening how accurately everything is described in relation to what I just went through recently. I was searching for answers on the closure I’ve accepted to never get, and all I can do with this info is move on as best as I can.

    To be honest it’s just more mind-blowing to me that such a thing exists, and I’m sure so many others have felt the same way.

    Thank you HG

    1. HG Tudor says:

      You are welcome BV.

  2. PureRage says:

    Absolutely, i was
    lots of red flags.. which i thought them white..
    blind as a bat.. totally deluded.. serves me right..

    1. Tappan Zee says:

      PR—where others see red flags we see a parade. (read that some where) SO TRUE. and it doesn’t “serve you right.” no one deserves abuse. even if we see bad behavior coming, it is not our fault. i like to blame myself. but no, it does not work. it is on them. we are to goso but flogging our self in hindsight does not help or excuse their ways. nope.

  3. Priti says:

    Jeez.exact words repeated to me. And whatever he did to his ex; he twisted it other ways and make me pity him. He damnit warned me for 6months with same words which didn’t make sense coz it was so perfect .the friendship, the chemistry, the advent of a new romance with an old friend.he was a friend for 2years where I didn’t suspect much coz we were not breathing down each others back.
    This is exact to exact

  4. Patrick says:

    When I first started dating my narc she said people in a new relationship will reveal the monster within 3 months to a 100 days. She was right! LOL

    1. BurntKrispyKeen says:

      Yes, Patrick. That is so true! Even though I felt the warnings from day one, it was about 2 1/2 months in when the obvious alarms sounded.

      Mine had a similar conversation with me, so reading HG’s account was eerily familiar. I remember when I was told, “You’re too good for me. You’re better than I deserve.” That was probably the closest to the truth he ever spoke… even if I do say so myself. : )

      1. Patrick says:

        I’ll never forget the day her mask slipped off. The look in her eyes from a narcissistic rage, she was yelling about her job at the well-to-do family business, shouting at the refrigerator, foaming at the lip. Why I didn’t take action to protect myself I don’t know but I look back and thank God I’m out and recovering from that. She’s a real peach!

    2. BurntKrispyKeen says:

      Next time, go for the nectarine… no fuzz!

  5. Ugotit says:

    Never got a warning

  6. Bad At Love – Halsey. The chorus. I’ll think of you when I see her tonight. I’m bad at love too so I get you. 💙

  7. Windstorm2 says:

    “Trick ‘em with the truth.” I hear versions of this article all the time! One of the few ways my exhusband is honest is about his narcissism. He often makes baldly true statements of his total lack of caring and empathy, but people rarely believe him. They think he is joking or teasing them or that they misheard or misunderstood. “Nobody would actually say things like that about himself, would they?”

    I’ve always thought he did it to throw people off balance and make them doubt reality. Also he seems to draw fuel from peoples reactions (tricking and verbally manipulating people is his primary fuel). He definitely doesn’t hide his real self, although many still refuse to see it. Amazing really, how people believe what they want to believe despite any and all evidence to the contrary.

  8. Mona says:

    My eyes and ears are wide open. Thank you, H.G.

    1. HG Tudor says:

      You are welcome Mona.

  9. Becky says:

    Oh boy…

  10. Chingona says:

    Oh, I’ve had warnings that were much more explicit from my three NSPs (el creepo, el cucaracha, and my favorite, el drunko). Repeat it later in a dispute and being told I made it up, or imagined it, or that I’m stuck in the past. After 3, plus the disordered family member, I’m relieved post discard.

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