Little Acons – No. 44

PLEASING MEEQUALSSURVIVING

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18 Comments

      1. Hi lovely Windstorm2,

        I only came inside to eat and sleep.

        Now I don’t want to go out … there’s people … haha

        1. Lol Bubbles!
          I spend a lot of my time inside my house as well now. Luckily I live in a very rural area, so I can usually sit outside under trees and only hear/see nature. But I do still avoid people as much as I can. Maybe that’s a legacy that stays with us. When I’m alone I can just enjoy life with no worries.

        1. K
          Yeah and sad that we were gaslighted and made to feel crazy for believing we needed to hide. It was peaceful and often beautiful. Spending so much time hiding outside is probably why I am most comfortable alone and contemplating the world around me. Useful, but lonely.

          1. WS2
            Escape and safety was found in the streets, library and in books. I am comfortable being alone, too, but it does get lonely sometimes.

    1. K & Windstorm.. I remember being frightened each & every time I heard my dad’s keys jangle – the sound of him coming home meant walking on eggshell mode.. waiting for him to discover whatever we had/hadn’t done that would set him off.. I remember feeling early on – there was no pleasing him.. he was never happy…

      I remember trying to stay out of sight as much as possible and that dread in the pit of my stomach whenever my name was called..

      You know the movement everyone must make in order to remove your belt? That still makes me wince…

      1. Nuit etoilee,

        Moi aussi☹️/me too. It was the sound of the garage door. I wud sprint so fast after hearing that sound, heart racing, collecting my stuff, then dropping it, tripping here and there, wishing he wud have longer hrs at work, and the walking on eggshells begins…

    1. Agree Windstorm, as that way they get more fuel. Bit it’s never enough and we lose sight of who we are, cross our boundaries even when we are not comfortable, and often allow ourselves to be degraded and demeaned.

      1. ANK
        Sounds just like my childhood! It’s like they work at making us insecure and dependent, all the while berating us for not being stronger and more independent. There is no way to be ourselves and achieve our potential until we break away from them.

    1. AViolet—Just try undoing that one. I’m going through a series of memories trying to find my nature before it was stamped on and I was forced into tunnel vision.

      ^ 💯that. i was going to say pretty much same thing. you nailed it. a grim sifting through my mind going back to original stain that impacted me since the beginning. putting another first. not in a charitable sense. in a warped, unfair, unjust sense to “make them happy or rather not/less mad.” my role was to undo their damage. their anger. their blame. their behavior. and it colored my life and behavior to date. i like your simplicity. nailing it.

Vent Your Spleen!

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