The Rules of Ex Club – No. 3

THE EX OF THE LESSER NARCISSIST.jpg

24 thoughts on “The Rules of Ex Club – No. 3

  1. geyserempath says:

    I was not labeled a whore to my knowledge, but as an IPSS perhaps that term is reserved for the IPPS. I apparently was labeled an annoyance!

  2. Carol M says:

    Yay, I may as well use the scarlet letter!

  3. irisfindsfreedom says:

    He didn’t tell me that I was codependent. Claimed he had never heard of it. What he did call me during our relationship was crazy/mentally ill. And he was right up to a point. He also told me his first (big love) ex girlfriend was smarter than me. He got upset when I agreed and added that she was smarter because she left him.

  4. demoneater says:

    They are projecting, right?

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Yes.

  5. irisfindsfreedom says:

    I was IPPS to my ex narc. He is a very strange beast: high flying academic but lived in squalor and totally, completely alone until I met him. He was living off fuel from his last discard (she tried to kill herself when he left after a brief relationship and from his discarded family – who were (and still are) desperate for attention. Covert narc but towering, raging and terrifying when in full flow. What I became when he abandoned me – the week my Dad died, a month after I had been made redundant – was crazy and obsessed with him. And he told me what I was. I am (a recovering) codependent, off the scale empath, raised in a dysfunctional family, with a history of abuse. I was also a high earning, professional woman, very sociable, very successful and I let him take it all. Knowingly at the end.
    So he tells people that I am crazy and obsessed with him. I tell people he was abusive, but I am still in deep and working hard to break the trauma bond. I told him yesterday that I am codependent, but would not tell him what I know he is. He acted superior and dismissive. But I know that my reveal and challenge irked him.

    1. irisfindsfreedom says:

      We lived together for more than four years. He had never lived with anyone before and neither of us is young.

  6. Catherine says:

    Ouch! Almost made me fall out of my bed waking up to read this. That was my label. Whore. Prostitute. My narcissist was forever acting out in jealousy, being paranoid and unreasonable. Yelled it to me during arguments, managed to squeeze it into conversations in a sadistic and manipulative manner and he completely isolated me from my friends. His was a reign of supreme power and brought with it devastating control. I did everything I ever could to prove to him that I loved him and that I’m a good person, but it never was enough. One day I would surely let him down and he needed to punish and scare me into total submission. I actually feel sick thinking about it.

    1. Tappan Zee says:

      I did everything I ever could to prove to him that I loved him and that I’m a good person, but it never was enough. One day I would surely let him down and he needed to punish and scare me into total submission. I actually feel sick thinking about it.

      ^ πŸ’―πŸ’”βœ”οΈ #metoo

  7. Monica says:

    hg did you ever post your insights to the fan submitted letters? I just wanted to make sure I didn’t miss it if you had.

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Not yet Monica.

    2. Fiona says:

      And will you be posting more of them HG? I submitted one but maybe it didn’t make the cut πŸ™‚

      1. HG Tudor says:

        Yes I will.

  8. Thomas says:

    HG what is the ex of the midranger?

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Wait and see.

      1. jenna says:

        Can i guess? Treacherous, selfish, someone who betrayed the narc when all the narc did was try to be nice

      2. DebbieWolf says:

        Mid ranget’s ex..
        The ungrateful one for a start.
        The heartless one at the least…when no response to the next ’emergency’…

        I got told ages ago…its an emergency…(amongst others times)…and when I succommed it was that he had bought me a new fancy exhaust for my car..

        “After all I’ve done for you?! And this is how you are?!”

        Ridiculous.

      3. Indy says:

        Ooo can I guess? A treacherous traitor? A Narcissist? Unhinged? A wretched soul? Crazy?

        β€œIs it live or is it Memorex?”

      4. Indy says:

        OMG Jenna, we both started with the word treacherous 🀣 Yes, we both know HGs high frequency words for devaluation hehe πŸ˜‚

        1. Jenna says:

          Indy,

          Lol!! Yes “treachery” = the word of death

          Did u notice another word hg uses in interviews, when asked abt his family’s accusations? They are all “liars”, he says. Everytime i hear this, i wonder if he’s projecting?

          Ya, and ‘fat cow’ gets me every time lollllll!

          1. MLA - Clarece says:

            Speaking of the family intervention from the interview, where, HG, you said your family confronted you because you were displaying “frenzied” behavior, I was curious who initiated you seeking help first and then rallying the family together?
            If Rachel or Lennox did, I would think it is out of genuine care and concern. If it was your Mother and Uncle, I can see where you have a resistance and felt it was always maligned towards you.

          2. HG Tudor says:

            It was Lennox, Clarece.

    2. Sophia says:

      Thomas,

      To him (MMRN), I believe I am everything he is that he can not face.

      I own that I am a bit anxious at times and I have suffered from depression. Any issue I had was magnified times ten by him.

      It dawned on me after consulting with HG and many books and posts everything he has said I am or described me to be is him. Even when some of it could have fit me, it fit him even better.

      Reminds me of the saying, β€œwhat Susie says about Sally says a lot more about Susie than Sally.”

    3. Fiona says:

      Im not his official ex but I assume “psycho”, “mean”, “ungrateful”, “a bitch” and “obsessed” lol

      Those are the ones he probably smeared me with. Loser lol

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