The Narcissistic Truths – No. 221



32 thoughts on “The Narcissistic Truths – No. 221”

  1. Hmm… I think, it is a General Truth.

    We all have our own “mazes”. The question is that how we navigate inside of them.

    That picture shows the wrong type of “navigation” – those keys are placed on the top of that tree. It is a level of SELF-AWARENESS. If we are talking about Narcs, they, having those keys, are aware about their disorder, their behavioral pattern, their manipulative tactics. They know WHAT they are.

    But. If we place those keys under that tree (where the roots are), we get another level – SELF-INTROSPECTION and this is a right way of “navigation”, because it and only it gives the EXIT from that maze. In that case, the Narcs know WHY they are what they are. They know the ROOT of their problem, what TRIGGERS their Narcy behavior, WHAT they try to PROTECT or HIDE inside of themselves being a Narcs. It is a very high level of self-understanding. It is an unique chance to heal yourself.

    From all of Narcs I’ve ever met in my life, I know the only one person, who was willing to introspect himself to the end – my second husband.

    He wanted to get answers. We visited many psychoterapists. He was willing to talk and cooperate openly with them, albeit only in my presence, because “When you sit silently next to me during those sessions, I feel safe”.

    He submitted himself to a long-term psychoanalysis. He submitted himself to hypnosis. We all tryed to find his “hidden painful childhood memories” to understand the root of his problem. We found none. He had an absolutely normal childhood and very loving family. His problem was congenital.

    I remember, when we all finally realized it, my friend-psychiatrist said “We have to do a functional MRI and see what’s going on in his brain”.
    I said to him “For what? What else do you need to know? That his ventromedial prefrontal cortex and amygdala don’t function normally? We know it already”.
    “It would be an interesting material to investigate! The Sociopaths don’t willing to coopetate and your husband is willing to do it! If you tell him he has to do it, he’ll do it! He listens to you only!”
    “I see your point. It is pretty interesting to investigate it from the scientific point of view. BUT. My husband is not a guinea pig. We got all answers we wanted to get. My answer is no. Enough”.
    “Noname! It is a “scientific crime” to say “no” in such interesting case!”.
    And then (as my husband described my behavior when we were sitting at cafe after that visit) I stood up, walked slowly to my friend’s desk, placed both hands on it, bent and said with a “low and ominous” voice – NO.

    Anyway, despite on his “incurability”, his introspection permits him to live and function normally. He is a walking example of intellectual victory upon genetic origin. He found his exit from his maze. Good.

    We all can find our exit from our mazes. Just place your keys under that tree and see what happens.

  2. The longer you stay in the relationship, the easier it is for a narc to control you.

    Alternatively, the longer we stay no contact, the easier it is to control emotional thinking and stay the course.

  3. The longer the relationship lasts, the easier it becomes for the narc to manipulate. He knows u v well. These are the keys he holds – he knows what will and won’t upset u. He will act accordingly. Or, if he doesn’t want to upset u, he will act accordingly and put on the mask. The maze is behind u. It is long, but it is there. U can choose to take it.

  4. This could be taken from two perspectives.
    The longer the relationship with a Narc  lasts, the easier it becomes  for the Narc to render their victim exhausted and  trapped at the centre of their hellish maze. The Narc of course  conditions the victim to no longer think for themselves. This is done by utilising a subtle arsenal  of ever changing tactics to keep the victim right at the centre where they want them. Isolated from support, confused bewildered and totally  numb and with no means  or energy to even possibly obtain  a key from the tree to escape.
    The  labyrinth that stretches beyond the horizon is a very apt depiction  of the Narc’s mind as well as any involvement with a narc.  The confusing  blind alleys, intricate paths, dead ends and coils represents the Narc’s inconsistent behaviour with circular conversations, lies, blowing hot and cold ,  gas lighting, deception, projection, blame shifting and  the silent treatments.  Narcs believe  you are not smart enough figure out their  game.
    On the other hand, the longer the relationship lasts from the victim’s perspective the more exposed the victim is to the various stages of the narc’s bizarre behaviour. There will come a time when the victim will tire of walking on eggshells and seek answers for the rationale for the narc’s erratic behaviour. It is then easier for the victim to recognise all the key components of the maze of narc behaviour and realize they are not to blame. The keys to escaping are recognizing narcs for what they are and educating oneself on how to get out and stay out. 

  5. Dear Mr Tudor,

    Would this be….
    you enter into a maze when you engage with a narcissist … the narcissist is the centre as the tree stump and he is holding all the keys (power) you cannot escape, therefore you are forced to find your own way out of the maze by yourself

  6. Such as Stockholm Syndrome? The longer you’re captive the easier and more normal your entrapment seems. The keys to escape are forgotten and gathering dust etc…? Close?

    1. Such as Stockholm Syndrome? The longer you’re captive the easier and more normal your entrapment seems. The keys to escape are forgotten and gathering dust etc…? Close?

      ^ SusanK — yes, i see this now that you mention it. a very well groomed hedge of keys with curbside appeal. it looks so good. who would guess hostage, it is so comforting and suffocating all at once. i miss it. i know. :/

    2. Ever the optimist I see the keys as something positive.

      Yes you are stuck in the maze but look: the tree is growing keys instead of branches. Just take a key from the tree and get the hell out of the maze.

  7. I perceive it as the longer the relationship lasts, the easier the control over the empath becomes. Strikes a chord within me today!

  8. The more the empaths/normals invest in narcs (time, hopes, especially in romantic relationships), the harder to let them go…isn’t so?

  9. I don’t know what the keys are for, but the maze behind the tree trunk seems to be what an Empath may get lost in, with their relationship with a narcissist. So maybe the tree trunk represents the narcissist and the keys are the narcissist’s — strategies they use to keep an Empath wandering aimlessly and confused?

    So “The longer it lasts” may refer to the longer you stay with them, the more dazed/under their control you get.

    Or I could be way off, lol.

  10. … I see something different on this image:
    It’s obscure,dark,lonely..

    I see isolation.

    The longer the entanglement with a narcissist is, the easier it becomes for the narcissist to isolate the person he/she entangles with keeping all the possible keys for her/him to be able to escape….
    Different interpretations…

  11. The narcissistic maze that bewilders and isolates more and more with time the keys inherent in us to escape and understand what’s going on? Abusing us gets easier and easier?

  12. I remember someone explaining what this meant but cant remember. The easier it becomes to see thru their facade and escape? This one has me stumped…pun intended 😊

      1. So am i to understand, the lesser is less intelligent? Or more along the line of a lack of a lack of personal introspection?

          1. Of course, my choices are always so good. I think I chose him because he was physically beautiful. My Narc side weighs in pretty heavy often.

      2. Observation and interaction with them.

        ^ HG does your being a narc “help” you? like sort of a fireproof suit that prevents you from harm where we would be torched? in their presence and proximity? i wonder how you feel and experience them compared to us.

        1. I recognise them. I am not ensnared by them therefore I suffer no downside. They do not impact on my emotional thinking so I become blinded or at greater risk in the way you are.

    1. If this is regarding No Contact, I hope so!

      ^ ditto. i think it is. sort of like the book meme where it dams up a river. like the imagery. but where are the articles? jk xx

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