Away In A Bolthole


Away in his bolthole, he won’t come to bed,

He’s too busy surfing, a new source to embed,

The mouse clicks in the night time as he starts now to play,

And starts spreading his bullshit to all he will lay.

He knows that I am lonely, and that I’m still awake,

And I’m starting to realise I’ve made a massive mistake,

I love him no I hate him and he will make me cry,

But he said I am his until the day that I die.

So I turn on my tablet and I start my own search,

I am tired of this arsehole leaving me in the lurch,

I’m worth more than he is and I need to be free,

Now what’s this Evil page and who is this chap HG?

70 thoughts on “Away In A Bolthole

  1. Iris says:

    Narc angel:
    “I bet it was a creampuff Mid that came up with the cannoli.”

    Leave the gun, take the cannoli?

  2. Iris says:

    Haha somehow I can’t see you with an apron on.

    No, in my head you will always be a moustache twirler.

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Bwahahahah – how do you like it on those train tracks missy?!

      1. Iris says:

        Hahahaha I laughed so loud that I scared my colleagues!

        (yes I should be working)

    2. Lou says:

      Dali? Painting and creating his worlds.

  3. Iris says:


    “Lumbered up limbo down
    The locked embrace, stumble round
    I say go, she says yes
    Dim the lights, you can guess the rest.”

    On that note, It maybe a bit of an inappropriate question HG, but it’s not meant that way:

    I know you don’t like to be touched, so if you could get the same potent fuel without having sex, would you then stop having it?

    Or do you also have lust, like all men have?

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Sex is purely the conduit for fuel, binding and exerting control. If baking a cake produced the same result we would be the word’s best bakers.

      1. Blank says:

        Ha ha..
        Maybe my nex and I should have done some baking together.. I suck at baking though. (Sorry, I know it’s one of your rules not to discuss cooking or bakery, but since you mentioned the topic yourself.. ;))

      2. Narc Angel says:

        I bet it was a creampuff Mid that came up with the cannoli.

    2. Blank says:

      ALLLLL men Iris????

      1. Iris says:

        Maybe not the cerebral ones or the average Dutch guy 😉

  4. “Lumbered up limbo down
    The locked embrace, stumble round
    I say go, she says yes
    Dim the lights, you can guess the rest.”

    No!!! Stop implanting songs in my head!!! You’ve already caused “Never Let Me Down Again” to be stuck there by mentioning DM!!
    It is now playing a mash up with “Love Is The Drug”!!!
    (pretty good mash up actually)

    Time to throw my friend in the car and take a long ride!

  5. Blank,


    You just had to say that, didn’t you!!??
    But you knew what he’d say!
    Don’t poke him too much!


    1. Iris says:

      Come on Perse, a little poking is fun! Can’t have him starting to hibernate 😉

  6. Iris says:

    Speaking of altering your voice: my sister does an excellent “Englishman from India” and her “German guy speaking English” is brilliant too.

    I wonder if this is a narc trait.

  7. Iris says:

    When I get too close for comfort and say A, you immediately become defensive and say B.

    Off course I know your real voice. When you read your texts you sometimes use it and sometimes you don’t.

    But when you interact with people for a longer period of time you forget about your voice after a while and start to talk naturally.

    I can also tell when your laugh is real and when it’s not. It isn’t that hard you know.

    1. HG Tudor says:

      You really don’t. I know you like to think you do, but you do not.

      1. Kimi says:

        Aren’t you the narcy Narc HG! Altering your voice… I am disappointed to realize that! Although, you never sounded as I’d expect you to on your videos and broadcasts.

        1. HG Tudor says:

          I wouldn’t be disappointed. There is no mechanisation involved.

      2. Iris says:

        OK HG, you’re a riddle, wrapped in an enigma, wrapped in a puzzle, wrapped in a paradox, inside a mystery 🙂

      3. Nuit Étoilée says:

        HG, Do the people who have conducted audio consults w you “know” your real voice?

        1. HG Tudor says:

          You will have to find out for yourself.

      4. Nuit Étoilée says:

        I’d love to – LOVE to…

        I haven’t been give the chance..

        I have the impression it is like you described the schoolyard bully.. holding my lunch money just out of reach while I jump.. and he laughs…

    2. Blank says:

      Don’t tell anyone, but I think HG is a woman. Probably an empath.

      1. HG Tudor says:

        Wrong. Wrong.

        1. Joy4Life says:

          I wondered this, too, but if you were using a voice changer!

      2. Iris says:

        OMG Blank, I think you’re right!

        I bet HG is a clairvoyant in real life.

        1. HG Tudor says:


      3. Ugotit says:

        Even though someone said he’s a blonde I think he’s a slightly more rugged Bryan ferry lookalike

        1. HG Tudor says:

          Lumbered up limbo down
          The locked embrace, stumble round
          I say go, she says yes
          Dim the lights, you can guess the rest.

          1. Ugotit says:

            I’m giving away my age but when he was in Roxy music he had the honor of starring in my first preadolescent wet dream lol

          2. MLA - Clarece says:

            Someone’s down to clown for the holidays…

          3. Joy4Life says:

            Oh, this changes everything! I thought you would have dark hair! I am not into blondes. Oh well, I guess I will be on the lookout for another dashing knight, but with dark hair! Wow.

  8. Survivor says:

    Hey HG, when you do live broadcasts on youtube, is it a voice-over? Otherwise, how do you know none of your previous targets haven’t listened and know it’s you?

    1. HG Tudor says:

      No it is my voice.

      I do not, but it does not concern me.

      1. Iris says:

        I always know when you use your natural voice and when you embellish it a bit, because then you speak more slowly and you lower the tone of your voice until it sounds ominous.

        I prefer your real voice though, because it sounds friendlier and more human. It makes me lower my guard though and I know that isn’t a smart thing to do in your case.

        I guess from listening to your accent you’re from the south of England. It sounds posh, but you say a “k” after your “g” (e.g. thingk instead of thing) and that gives you away.

        1. HG Tudor says:

          You do not know my real voice.

      2. Joy4Life says:

        I wonder if M. Tudor is ever going to show himself- his appearance (or, maybe just one eye, or the mouth, or nose, or forehead)? I would like to see the mouth as my first choice. Second choice is one eye, complete with eyebrow.

    2. narc affair says:

      I had wondered if you used some device to change your voice HG thatd be an obvious thing to do bc your voice would be a dead giveaway to any exes out there or people that know you irl. I cant imagine any of your exes not coming across your work. That mystifies me how its not happened yet. You are a walking mystery lol

      1. Star says:

        Even if one of his many exes did recognize his voice, most likely he would deny deny deny.It would be a losing battle anyway. Lol

  9. Sarabella says:

    Clever, hahaha. So sad, too.

  10. narc affair says:

    Lol i love the ending!

  11. pat says:

    that’s hat he did to me a 0600 am each morning and each time he was away

  12. Not So Sad says:

    Away in it’s Bolthole no passion it made

    A little Blue tablet was the best it could take..

    A wank a bonus. Come was plus …

    It couldn’t shag a barbers floor if it’s life depended on it .

    1. Not So Sad says:

      I never was that good at poetry 🙂

    2. HG Tudor says:

      Best leave the bastardisation of carols to me!

  13. H. says:

    HG is a closet poet.

  14. sunniva says:

    Come join us for the blogposts, they will all set you free,

    This whole new information, a new life it will be.

    The lesser, the mid-ranger, and the greater ones too,

    they will no longer hold that tight leash over you.

    By reading and by comments the understanding will come,

    and little by little your heartache is gone.

    HG he will teach you, you can talk to him too,

    and the fuel of salvation is provided for you.

    Just listen and adapt to every word that he says,

    so you no longer have to be a part of this mess.

    His well-placed advices on the words of his kind,

    it will bring out your logic and put ease to you mind.

    1. sunniva says:

      *your mind.

    2. Nuit Étoilée says:

      *applause for Sunniva!

  15. K says:

    This Tudor Carol is an absolute riot! Last February when I was on YouTube and saw the Evil heart on the right side bar, I kept thinking: who is this Tudor guy? I have to check him out.

  16. Narc Angel says:


  17. Mb says:

    Superbly funny and true . Thanks for the Christmas cheer.

  18. LOL!
    Narc Free Christmas!
    Best. Present. Ever!!!!
    Thanks, HG!

  19. Katie says:

    Well done

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Thank you.

  20. SC says:

    Just a question – Have any of your exes (or currents) found this site and not known it was you? Maybe even followed the site?

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Not that I know of SC.

      1. jenna says:

        What about pam bergner who used to post here? Asking u to pls tell her narc that she’s proud of him, and to give her regards to ur sister? I always wondered who her narc was, and how u wud have his contact info?

        Love this carol btw! Absolutely cheered me up!

    2. narc affair says:

      Hi SC…i wondered about this too but just thought maybe the stories were altered a bit and the names if course. As for HG’s voice that would be difficult to disguise. The narcissist community online is small and its definitely a question why none of HG’s exes havent found out but im sure HG has taken steps to protect his privacy. Also he moderates the blogband u tubes so theyd not be able to get posts thru.

      1. narc affair says:

        I just had a funny thought if one of HG’s exes found this blog and learned from it. Actually thatd be kind of cool.

      2. HG Tudor says:

        Yes names have been altered and some details altered slightly but it does not detract from the thrust of the relevant article.

      3. narc affair says:

        Hi HG…oh definitely. Even if it were completely made up the main thing is the lesson and relevance to narcissism. Its the message the story holds thats important.

  21. Peaceful says:

    I found this delightful to read… comical… spreading his bullshit to all he will lay… boy, that says it all, doesn’t it…
    Unlike Slay Ride… I found that post terrifying! It actually scared me to see HG write with so much contempt. It was so mean. I guess that’s real insight into mind.

    Hope everyone’s well and enjoying a narc free season!
    Does anyone know if HG doing a live broadcast soon?

  22. Ugotit says:

    This could have been written about me and my narchole

  23. Ha Ha! This is a good one. 🙂

  24. Survivor says:

    Who’s this chap, HG? Lol. Excellent. Merry Christmas.

  25. E. B. says:

    Haha – You’ve been found out!

  26. geyserempath says:

    This is my favourite thus far!!

  27. Windstorm2 says:

    😊 Always like this one. 🎄

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