The Pursuit of Revenge
I know you hate me. Your kind are filled with love and then filled with hate. There is no need to deny it. It is a normal reaction for someone like you and one which I entirely endorse and encourage. I know you will try and mask that burning anger that you feel by saying you pity me or that you have nothing but contempt for me but I can see it. Those sensational eyes of yours that once blazed with desire, passion and most of all hope, are now filled with the churning, billowing flames of hatred. Some of you will fight to contain this sensation. You fear that by giving in to this hatred that you will somehow be on a level with me. I can ease your fears in that regard. You are nowhere near my level and nor were you. I placed you far higher than me to begin with. Yes it was artificial and all part of my design but you had no complaint then did you? You did not object or demur when I thrust you skywards and planted you no that pedestal. Of course you did not. Who would? Nobody would and least of all somebody like you. Now you are on your true level, way down below me, cast onto stony ground, broken and shattered. Amazing though isn’t it how you managed to summon such an anger from somewhere. How many times had you said to your confidantes that you felt numb (yes they were reporting back to me). Yet now look at you. A seething, glowering fireball of hatred and it is all directed at me. I adore this.
You want to destroy me. I know you do. You all do. The one before you was exactly the same as the one before was and the one before her. The next one will be just the same,although I do still hold out some hope that she might just be different and somehow avoid the mistakes all those who have gone before have made. I have seen this hatred many times and your desire for revenge is strong. Of course it is. I made it this way. Everything I did as I brought you down low was programmed to cause you to eventually explode into hatred. From elation to despair, through broken to numb. Eventually the switch would be flicked and as puppet master I ignite the fire beneath you which stokes the flames of hatred. Despise me, go on, do it. Send those wicked words towards me. Tell me what a bastard I am. Keep it coming. Pull you hair, wave your fist and stamp your feet. Tell me how you are going to scratch my car. Feels good does it not? Believe me, it feels even better being on the receiving end of your bile and hate. Go on, sit with your friends and plot your revenge, I can feel you all huddled around your cauldron as you try and concoct ways at getting back at me. I feel so powerful knowing you are focussed on seeking retribution. This is what I want. I want to bask in the heat of your anger, I want to be covered in the disgust and distaste that you will spew towards me. I want you scheming, hatching and planning. By hurting you do deeply I plant inside you that overwhelming desire to get even with me. It happens every time and is all part of my master plan to ensure you, my beautiful appliance keep pouring fuel in my direction. I make you seek revenge for in doing so, your planning and ham-fisted execution of the same give me what I want. Fuel. You are blinded with your hatred so that you fail to realise you will not succeed in gaining revenge, not by shouting, spitting and scratching. Oh no, this overload of howling anger is just a banshee of fuel to me. I will twist and shift as I thwart your attempts, laughing at your pathetic efforts to try and get one over on me. This will spur you on as I lead you on yet another merry dance as I continue to take from you exactly what I need. So please, seek your revenge. You will not get it but I will be delighted seeing you try.
34 thoughts on “The Pursuit of Revenge”
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Is it possible to get revenge on a person that is out of one’s life for some years? (There is no contact). It was a professional matter—one that I’d love to now “resolve.”
It is.
You are awesome. I love your evil spirit!
True and thank you.
Oh. I assume a consult but are you sure you are good at this?
Yes. See the testimonials.
Revenge is a sily waste of time. So is changing yourself to be more narcissistic. Ive gone back and forth over the yrs whether to play my mothers games and treat her the way she treats me. Ive come to the conclusion that this is a personality disorder and why on earth would you want to mimic the craziness oc that?? Why would you want to become that?
No i like who i am. I like being a caring person that gives to people but at the same time ive learned to put safety measures in place to protect myself.
Would i want to get even with my narc mother or narc partner…no. they have a personality disorder and thats for them to face and come to grips with not me.
Chihuahuamum
Sitting st breakfast with my Pretzel when I read your comment, and I asked him if he agreed with your, “Revenge is a sily waste of time.”
He said, “No, I think there is a very therapeutic aspect to revenge.” When asked how so, he answered, “it just makes you feel warm and fuzzy all over.” Totally cracked me up!! Narcs do have a totally different perspective. Ha, ha!
WS
Ha ha ha…I think your Pretzel is right. HG says that it tastes like victory.
K
I’m sure HG would agree with Pretzel that revenge tastes best when served cold.
“revenge tastes best when served cold”
Indeed it does *evil grin*
I don’t have to expose him, he does it well enough himself. Give him enough rope. His performance isn’t flawless, he’s just learned how to recover when he messes up. I don’t want to distroy him, I just want to play with him. His game, not mine.
I’ll be everything his little fantasies ever dreamed of, but just frustratingly out of reach. I’ll be friendly with his lieutenants, it’s easy, they have big egos too, and they don’t get much glory in his company.
I’ll be the best, and I’ll owe it all to him, his guidance and mentoring. I’ll compliment subtly, believably, not obviously. I’ll tell white lies, and never criticize. A sheep is also a whole other looking creature underneath all that wool. When I mingle with the herd, I won’t name names, I’ll talk innocently about topics that will make the lightbulb go off when they’re chatting with him later. The totally unrelated discussion we had the other day all of a sudden takes on a new meaning with him.
I have the handful of emotions a narc has, and another handful of more. I’m not limited. I don’t live in a set of rules, or black and white.
I’ll stand there, intriguingly, positively, brimming with potential, feeding him, a little rope at a time. I’m not evil, I’m not hateful. I’m just playing the game,
Buckle up baby, it’s my turn.
Reality: I would never spend any time on vengeance. I don’t even care about it. Happiness is the best revenge. Spread love, and walk in knowledge of who’s out there with us.
H G, I just got your book, Revenge: How to beat the narcosist and am a little over halfway done reading. This article here says that one will never get revenge yet the book thus far (p90) has led me to believe revenge is possible as long as done a certain way. Is there conflicting information here?
You will never get revenge if you approach it without my expertise.
So… Are you able to devise a plan for revenge if one is essentially low contact with a co-parent?
Yes, if that is the appropriate way to proceed.
I don’t know if I want revenge, per se, but I am hoping if he is stripped of the facade, and hit rock bottom, he may find a way to become his true self. There are other factors involved, problem drinking is one. I don’t know if alcoholism is a narc thing, or just another disorder. I’m reading the Revenge book, and seeing what I can glean for my situation.
Al Anon
Yes, alcoholism is definitely a narc thing. You may find this article helpful.
Narcissism is the underlying disorder, however, there are usually other addictions that are layered on to it. Gambling is another one that I have seen.
https://narcsite.com/2018/04/05/cheers-the-narcissist-and-alcohol-6/
This has been a struggle for me. I’ve admittedly been pre-occupied with revenge fantasies, but each fantasy inevitably leads to providing fuel, and none of them can lead to his accountability.
Maybe this can help someone… What really finally helped me calm down was compartmentalizing the narc from the person I fell in love with. Let’s pretend my narc’s name is “Tom”. I told myself that the narc is not Tom. Tom never existed. Tom was a fantasy the narc tricked me into believing in. Tom loved me. Tom did not betray me. Tom was all the wonderful things I believed him to be. Tom would never hurt me, but Tom ISN’T REAL. This thing that is texting me and leaving me voicemails is not Tom. This thing that contorted into an abusive monster never was Tom. I made Tom up. The narc perceived my fantasy of Tom and reflected Tom back to me, tricking me into believing that he was Tom. This sounds a little psychotic, but it REALLY helped me. It’s a lot easier to let go of the anger when you realize that the person you loved never hurt you, because he never actually existed. When you are craving revenge, you are still projecting your conscience onto the narc, outraged that he could do what he’s done, but by doing that, you are still buying into the fantasy. Trying to get revenge on the narc is like trying to hold an inanimate object accountable for breaking your leg. It’s pointless.
Purpleinnature
Makes sense to me to separate the two. He never did exist (only in your mind), and no amount of trying is going to bring him back. You cant read a romance novel or watch a movie and then make someone become that character. Thats what it seems to be to me-you created him (as in he mirrored what you wanted) and you had it for a time, but he could not maintain that because he never existed-he was only acting.
Hi NarcAngel,
re: Your answer – The Stare. Thank you so much for your kind reply. Sorry I did not see it before. I did not receive any notification email.
I have just replied to your comment. It has not been published yet.
NarcAngel… Yes, and it also helps me ignore his hoovering. I still miss him and long for him, but these love letters and apologies aren’t coming from him because he doesn’t exist. When his hoovering inevitably turns nasty, as I expect it to, it will help me not be hurt by it. This method of splitting the two is also reinforced by seeing how much his personality warps. The man I fell in love with would never write these kinds of Hoover love letters. He just wasn’t expressive in that way. The man I loved would have just treated me decent in the first place instead of abusing me, discarding me like a piece of trash and then begging me to give it another try just a few weeks later. This narc creature actually takes on a creepy child-like persona when his fuel gets low. He is nothing like the person I loved.
Thanks for the introduction to revenge, H G. It really is deliciously ironic how you are effectively drawing fuel from arming empaths with weapons of narc desctruction! I have just bought your e-book and will start reading it tonight. I think I am already on the right path to being devoid of fuel to my narc. That, I think, is why he discarded me to (fortunately) go on to being fueled by someone else!
Life is far too short for anger and hate, but the time will come when my kids are as safe as possible from their Narc-Father and I will be removed, indifferent, serene and at complete peace – The perfect grey rock. Then, with the help of H G, I will exact sweet revenge.
Love and strength to you all.
FF
Having read H G’s book on revenge, I have learned that it’s not possible for me to carry out the manipulative, evil and quite frankly petty, steps required to do all of that. Somehow the pursuit of truth and applying the fundamental principle without backing down when the rage and smear attacks rise achieves an effective enough result in my case. Most importantly, I can do it without compromising my integrity.
@ H G Would you kindly advise whether a “knowing smirk” on an ex-victim’s face counts as fuel for the narcissist?
And again thanks so much for your insight. I’ve just bought “Escape” and hope there are some good tips on how to deal with kids in the picture going through a court case.
You are welcome.
A smirk is Challenge Fuel – it is contempt which shows a reaction but also of course challenges our sense of superiority.
I consider myself one of the most enduring soul on planet earth…
what have i learned from endurance? not only have i learned to endure pain, humiliation, rejection, smear, shame etc… but one important virtue i’ve learned is PATIENCE.
Therefore, i will PATIENTLY wait for the day of reckoning.. .. or what some people call justice.. other the boomerang that comes hitting right straight in face, other Karma .. other God’s retribution… but it is all one :
every dog has its number.
I don’t want revenge. I really want to be put back in the same state that I was in before he came along, and then just get on with my life. Since that isn’t possible, justice is what I hope for.
Wow. This makes my blood boil. Haha. I just wanna scream obscenities and throw my phone across the room. Grrrrrr.. thanks a lot HG!! 😜
My revenge plan is in place, landmines set and you will never know it was me. I do wish I could wait around to see them go off, and what you value the most being taken away from you— but I am too busy with my fantastic life and have no time left for you.
Hate is such s strong word … could never hate anyone … not even my narc
I pity him and he disgusts me.
I know that hating him would indirectly still give him control over me, and my emotional balance is way too precious. Before the final discard, coming from me by the way, I made him delete all our mutual photos or any photos of mine he had, all WhatsApp and email communication, and asked him to pretend I never happened. I blocked him on everything and I went no contact even long before I knew what no contact meant. It was only later that I “educated” myself and discovered labels for everything.
I just hope when he creates his hoover list, that he will not be so desperate and/or delusional as to show up at my door.
HG, which of your books talks about how to get rid of a hoovering narc without providing him with fuel in the process? This one is, imo, a mid-range.
No Contact.
Ha ha ha…this described me perfectly: A seething, glowering fireball of hatred and it is all directed at me. I adore this.
Although, I feel indifferent; The Core Principle has been dancing around in my malevolent mind lately.