You? Me? Them?



Once upon a time. The Princess and the Pea. Prince Charming. Snow White. Pretty Woman. Barbie and Ken. The Waltons. Hug you from behind. Breakfast in bed. Picking you up in the rain. Glimpsing you from a train and running after you. The Fabulous Baker Boys. Roman Holiday. Bouquets. Surrounded by your loving family as you pass away. Snow at Christmas. Remembered birthdays. The Little House on the Prairie. Beauty and the Beast. A Room With a View. City breaks. Walking in the foam. Holding hands. Growing old together. Gone With the Wind. The white knight. Crazy For You. The Passion. Spooning in bed. Monogamy. Rosanna. Love Me Tender. Truly Madly Deeply. A candlelit bath. The Best. Gift on the pillow. Save the Best For Last. Impromptu lunch. Dancing cheek to cheek. Someday my prince will come. Red roses. White roses. Opening doors. Up Where We Belong. Romeo and Juliet. Holding your hair. You’re the First, My Last, My Everything. Writing ‘I Love You’ in the steamed up mirror. Endless Love. I Think I Love You. Dedicating a song on the radio. Father Figure. The Power of Love. Fairytale wedding. Carved initials on a tree inside a heart. Giving you the last Rolo. Love conquers all. Love will save the day. Love’s young dream. Love is a many splendored thing. Writing poems. Love notes in a lunch box. A message in the sand. Till death do us part. Together forever. Bright young things. Never Tear Us Apart. Soulmate. Other half. My Heart Will Go On. Bridget Jones’ Diary. I’ll Stand By You. Children. A Whole New World. Paris in the spring time. Lazing in a hammock together. A log cabin by the lake. The Notebook. The Spider man kiss. Notting Hill. Rose and Jack. Letting you sleep in. Bella and Edward. Latika and Jamal. Dirty Dancing. Leading the dancing. Remembering anniversaries. In sickness and in health. When Harry Met Sally. Synchronised orgasms. Sex in the morning. Sex in the evening. Still having sex after all these years. Fidelity. Eyes only for you. An Officer and a Gentleman. Isla and Rick. Letting you first. Knowing you hate spiders. Viola and William. Stardust. Walking in the snow together. Walking through leaves together. Edward Scissorhands. Just the Way You Are. My Girl. Annie’s Song. Matching tattoos. Wearing a wedding band. I Will Always Love You. When a Man Loves a Woman. I Don’t Wanna Miss a Thing. Love is blind. Absence makes the heart grow fonder. The perfect match. Our love is predestined. It was written in the stars above. Love at first sight. Mr/Mrs Right, “My one and only,” “man/woman of my dreams,” “match made in heaven,” “love of my life,” “my true love,” “made for each,” “my perfect match,” “I met the love of my life,” “I knew this was the one.”  “We were meant for each other.” “instant connection,” “clicked right away,” “chemistry at first sight,” “hit it off right away,” “experienced immediate attraction,” “instant rapport,” “completely hit it off,” “it was magical,” “you put a spell on me” . Love is a river that drowns the tender reed. The perfect house. The country idyll. Home is where the heart is. Wuthering Heights. Jayne Eyre. Twilight. The Hunger Games. Gabriel’s Inferno. Water for Elephants. Warming the bed first. Investigating a bump in the night. Holding you during a storm. Never being taken for granted. Perfection. Having it all. The Happy Ever After.

False promises and unrealistic ideals created by them.

A gateway to the false promised land, to the unrealistic ideal life offered and exploited by us.

Resorting to self-destructive and addictive behaviours in order to compensate for these failings and disappointments by becoming entangled with us again and again and again. That’s you.

Who is to blame?


25 thoughts on “You? Me? Them?”

      1. Gross. I couldn’t stomach that movie. Now the Secretary is a real love story. Where’s that man?

      1. The little things done with Great Love! That are sickenung to the normal onlookers by way of their minacious extravagance in respect to the typical and ordinary endearments!

      1. Nightmare before Christmas much the same howbeit I am a Vincent Price/Johnny Depp/Winona Ryder fan in preference to memes which take the raw feeling from the content the Fuel and replace animation which is the sythetic blend acceptable to ordinary society that tends to have the sensitivity of nuts and bolts! My favorite of the scenes is Jack Skellington looking down upon the village below lit by the full moon backdrop feeling alone /isolated he longs to be part of this hustling bustling frenetic organized Chaos, but is invisible so to speak by the world at large His Altruistic Virtue is Ghosted it moves about un-noticed by the crowds in this portrait !

  1. HG
    Well, I have officially pissed of both Meredith and Amy. They were not
    very receptive to the idea of me writing to them about the signs of NPD in their advice letters.

    Meredith has gone N/C and Amy accused me of being a narcissist!

    I told Meredith her advice sucked and I told Amy she needed to learn empathy.

    People are so testy.

      1. Thank you HG! I was having a cranky moment when I read your comment so I am laughing now. It most certainly does underline their incompetence and their hostility evinces this.

        I am happy that I can make make you laugh. At least some good has come out it.

      2. Ah-oh, HG

        Things are heating up. Amy has sent me 3 not-very-friendly e-mails since I wrote my comment.

        I think she got mad because I told her to google cognitive empathy since she has none at all. And I only wrote that because she called me a narc.

        She is a bit hostile so I suspect she may be a narcissist.

      3. Demonstrates how little she knows. If you believe (rightly or wrongly) someone is a narcissist, there is nothing to be gained by telling them that.

    1. On my Journey

      Hello, two advice columnists that I have communicated with regarding their “not-so-great-relationship-advice”. Most of the people that write to them are involved with pathological narcissists and the signs are there but the columnists seem hostile towards my helpful insights and have let me know it in no uncertain terms.

      Thank you HG! M sucks and A needs to learn some damn empathy! Calling me a narcissist, indeed!

      1. K Better get a Chair and a Whip for Amy the hard shelled clinician on relalationship,I bet she is a doosy in her own personal relationships!

  2. You’ve missed Pride and Prejudice the #1 love story of all time! So disappointed in you! Maybe you haven’t seen it, if thats the case I’ll forgive you.

    1. I have read it Christine and that was enough for me, I detest it, thus whilst you are correct it could be included in the list, I chose not to.

      1. I remember, before I knew he was a greater, sharing this movie with him to connect in some way. He fell asleep five minutes into the movie and began snoring. Thank you for sharing your thoughts so I now know why. -Christine

  3. Him: “I knew I loved you before I met you”
    Me: “Inconceivable!”

    Romance for me ends up more like “I don’t miss you, I miss the misery”

    And that’s why I no longer want the unattainable. …

  4. I thought we were all getting seduced by a Greater until you threw in those three little paragraphs.
    I was rather enjoying the read until then.

    (Sigh) But I guess you had a valid point to make.

    Q. Who is to blame?

    Just as the narcissist requires fuel, the empath craves love. So we’re both addicted.

    A. May I answer: Both… or is that like saying the baby will either be a boy or a girl?

    1. The Narcissist Wants an Ideal But So does the Empath Both want a perfect Love Both are Disappointed both repeat Scenario with individualized Pattern , both are formed in early childhood, Built . to display certain behaviors of the parents choosing consciously or unconsciously both have perfectionistic traits both have emotions that are tipped to extreme from the Empath they are Keen and in the Narcissist Blunt both finds in each other the opposite effect They both seek Ideals which are unattainable for the most part,both find Temporarily in each other before the disimilarities surface_Then is the reality clashing of means and ways thrust wide open the empath despises the Lies/Triangulation/ Deception/false promises of the Narcissist on the Other end the Narcissist Despises the Truthseeking investigative /questioning of the empath Once the Narcissist experiences this the Narcissistic threat of exposure this infuriates and threatens the Dillusional ideal of the Narcissist similarly the Narcissists Lies/Deceptions etc. have as well theatened the Empaths Dillusional ideal prompting disintegration .Both have hardwired faulty behaviors programmed into them that are programmed in by another or other faulty programmers to accomplish ideals that are unattainable/perfectionistic attempts to attain the programmers ideals in the childs mind training them to become an ideal of the parent or extention of the parent absent of the undesirable normal outplay of the childs individual expressions as a separate person these will have no validation nor be given freedom to express and the child will be treated in manners that humiliate or devalue those expessions to discourage their formation one likely means is witholding affection or projecting praise and superiority to another person or child within the environment this in my opinion would not be events but a regimen adhered to through the early formative years being punished by silent treatments denial to recognise and social shunning,isolation rejecting of attempts to reconciliate or pleas of reinstatement into the established familial environment extended and harsh punishment with verbal devaluation of the violator to other family members and relations in a exposing of the undesired trait with its embarrassments and humiliations openly operating for all present to see !


Leave a Reply