Mind Games – Part Two



Having detailed some of the mind games that we deploy against you, this leads to the inevitable question of why do we do this? I daresay that some of you will be tempted to answer

“Because you are all arseholes.”

Whilst this is understandable and potentially accurate (when viewed from your perspective) it is not going to provide you with any insight into the workings of our minds and behaviours. Accordingly, I will expand on why it is we use mind games to comprehensively.

  1. Fuel. An obvious one and rightly the first one that is considered. The application of mind games to the dynamic between you and us is done in order to prompt an emotional reaction from you and thus garner fuel from you. Whether you become upset, distraught, frustrated, annoyed or angry as a consequence of the games being played, it is all fuel which we will readily drink up.
  2. Control. We are obsessed with control. Our environment must be beholden to us. We have to control everything around us in order to ensure that we continue to exist, receive fuel, minimise and remove risks and so forth. By subjecting you to mind games, we are able to achieve this need for control, since you become trapped by them, you remain paralysed by their effects as you try to establish what is happening, rather than knowing them for what they are and moving away from them.
  3. Future planning. It is a common outcome from entangling with our kind that you will be labelled as The Crazy One once you have been discarded or escaped, as part of the smear campaign. The mind games bring about such a state of mind in you that it becomes easy enough for us to point to your behaviour during devaluation, your behaviour post discard/escape and demonstrate that you are indeed unhinged. There are very few people who can actually resist the proliferation of mind games and not be affected by them in some way and many people are left at the end of their tether creating an appearance of being “crazy”.
  4. Façade management. By engaging in games where we are I control, you are seen as histrionic and volatile, where we are calm and pleasant to everybody but you and causing people to form an adverse view about you, this allows us to manage and maintain the façade. We have an array of lieutenants and members of our coterie who all regard us as decent and kind, which then makes your life even harder in terms of trying to persuade people about what we really are.
  5. Superiority reinforcement. We operate from the perspective that we are superior to everybody around us and especially you. By engaging in games where we are able to pull the string, make you upset and angry and exert control, this allows us to emphasise that we are indeed superior to you.
  6. Self-defence. Many of the mind games that we engage in are because we need to defend ourselves from being challenged or criticised. Hence when we project, deny, deflect and blame-shift, although there may be a collateral benefit in terms of how it affects you, the primary reason for engaging in these behaviour is to protect ourselves by rejecting blame, preventing your challenge and addressing criticism.
  7. Exhaustion. With any situation, you respond to it more effectively when you are rested and able to think in a clear manner. The deployment of mind games causes you to become exhausted which results in your lacking clarity, experiencing a reduced resistance and diminished will-power. This means that you are far less likely to try to escape what we are doing and far more likely to accept doing what we want.
  8. Plausible deniability. By operating within the vestiges of the spoken, gestures and actions, we are often able to maintain being vague and amorphous. This allows us to manipulate you to a further degree but also serves an incredibly useful purpose in denying that we have engaged in such behaviours to begin with, especially with a third party. If we are challenged by, for example, someone in authority, we can point to the absence of proof or turn it into the word of someone calm and reasonable against some frazzled, ranting Crazy Person.
  9. Impact. The impact of emotional and psychological abuse is invariably more difficult for the victim to handle than physical abuse. Whilst physical abuse is understandably unpleasant, the insidious nature of mind games means that the victim cannot grasp what is happening, cannot ascertain if they are being subjected to a mind game (being punched is obvious and unequivocal) and cannot fathom why they are being treated in this manner. You no doubt will have heard victims state,

“I would have preferred to have been physically assaulted than be put through the mental torture.”

For someone to choose physical injury over this underlines just how devastating the impact is.

  1. Lack of detectability. Alongside plausible deniability is the fact that a bruise is a bruise and therefore raises questions. It is far harder to determine the effect of the mind games. Yes, someone may present as exhausted, anxious, hypervigilant, terrified and so on, but there is always the potential for us to suggest that it is put on and/or is related to something else. It is harder to do this with physical abuse (although not impossible). Indeed, some people do not allow the effect of the mind games to be seen, preferring to keep it hidden from other parties.
  2. Erosion. If you suffer a broken arm, you can still function. You can use your other arm, you can walk places, talk, you can hear and see and so forth. The mind games naturally affect that which controls and governs everything you do. By wearing down your mind, we are able to grind you down, causing your resistance to weaken and preventing you from functioning in a manner which might aid your escape from us.
  3. Tenderising. The application of mind games through achieving erosion and exhaustion as described above means that in effect you are being “tenderised” for further manipulations to be applied against you with maximum effect.
  4. Empathic vulnerability. As a person who has empathic traits and thus the reason why you were targeted by us, you are more susceptible to these kind of behaviours. Mind games work especially well against you as a consequence of your traits such as honesty, decency, telling the truth, needing to understand, wanting to help and your emotional responses.
  5. Endeavour. Some of the mind games end up making you try harder to please and do things for us with the additional benefit which naturally arises from this.
  6. Power. This is applicable to the Greater Narcissist only as the Lesser and Mid-Range are not aware of the true extent of the application of mind games. The Greater Narcissist revels in being apply to treat somebody in this manner, distort their world, have them jumping and moving at their say so, causing them to fountain with fuel and have no idea how or why this is being done to them. The various manipulations and their outcomes means this appeals to the omnipotence which Greaters believe that they have.

21 thoughts on “Mind Games – Part Two

  1. mollyb5 says:

    Some mind games are war tactics men do to other men in pow camps. My narc watches the history channel everyday.

  2. Vera says:

    I question how much lack of awareness there really is in a mid-ranger (re #15). I’m a well-educated, successful professional, and was reduced to a hysterical, crying puddle of a human for almost 2 years. He would push me to the brink of sanity and then coax me back from the ledge with some minor acts of caring and then expect full credit for “helping” me while obviously denying he had any involvement in driving me to that state to begin with. That must have made him feel powerful. To have the ability to push me to the brink and then bring me back with the slightest effort and be thanked for it?! I’ve listened to him brag about how he can manipulate people to get them to do what he wants. I don’t see why he would lack awareness about what he was doing in this context.

  3. Patricia J says:

    Ok HG,
    Why cannot you tell us how to handle these Feins when this happens to us?

    Should we walk away at that moment, burt, fart, what? State “Are u done yet? What?

    1. Patricia J says:


    2. Patricia J says:

      Bye the way..you are a incredible writing Fein.

    3. HG Tudor says:

      I do. See Escape.

      1. MH says:

        I confirm that-Escape is incredible. I’m still in situ but having a blast watching as he trots out the techniques one after the other as they don’t work. I’ve also noticed that when I resist, the narcissist(s) get sloppy- verbally and physically. I’m somewhat embarrassed that I didn’t see clearly sooner and incredulous that it’s so easy to disarm them. Once you see through them they would just look ridiculous if you weren’t so worried about what you don’t know yet..

        1. HG Tudor says:

          Thank you MH.

  4. Ugotit says:

    Great post

  5. Joy4Life says:

    I use to think that you were the last Narcissist I was with because he had a British accent, too, and a deep voice. He is about 45, now. But, I started doubting that you were him because you did not constantly talk about your Cougar Enabler, and rub my face in it.

    But, since he is in England, too, you probably know him- somewhere near Tamar Bridge. Of course, I won’t publicize exactly wear on this blog. Or, you have probably seen him around town. He’s the one who sometimes is on his red motorcycle. His black leather motorcycle outfit has Wolves on it. He might be portraying a martyr and have large tears in his eyes.

    He likes Spidey… Spiderman. And his Enabler bought him a Spiderman dolly in which he sent me a picture of him and Spiderman doll cuddling together, saying excitedly, “ “**** got this for me!” Of course she did, especially since I had mentioned to them, beforehand, that I was going to buy him that doll, and have it sent to him pronto. So, she got it to him first, and he joyfully sent me the picture to prove it.

    Im not sure, but underneath his black leather biker pants, he might very well be sporting green tights. But, can’t say for sure as I’ve never been inside his pants. Cougar Enabler would probably know, though.

    1. HG Tudor says:

      No, I am not him and I do not know him and I do not live near Tamar Bridge.

      1. Joy4Life says:

        Thank you. I am glad you are not him.

  6. Sophia says:

    What I have a hard time understanding is that these mind games are played so we won’t go but they inevitably make EVERYONE go.

    It takes so much more energy to play games than to just be. Wouldn’t there be less need for fuel if one wasn’t using so much fuel playing games?

  7. Deborah says:

    I love your insight and the way you write. Thank you! x

    1. HG Tudor says:

      You are welcome.

  8. apocalipznow says:

    Do you have a book or blog entries that go into further depth on the downsides of being a narcissist? Or is that , in itself, contrary to what NPD will allow of one’s self? Something vulnerable, like explaining this demon narcissists are chasing away at all times through fuel? I’d be very interested to hear more on that well hidden , superficially discussed entity.

    1. HG Tudor says:

      What amounts to a downside is heavily subject to perspective. What you may consider as a downside, we may not. There are elements however I suspect would satisfy the point you have raised and you will find them throughout the blog and also in the books, particularly those with alliterative titles, the confessions series and A Delinquent Mind.

  9. Monet McIntyre says:

    All of the above has been done to me , by my husband { narcissist extrodinaire } !

    Play by play , step by step .

    HG. TUDOR ;

    You have him down pat !
    Are you sure the two of you aren’t in cahoots with one another ?


    { Im anxiously awaiting the day when Ill get to have my consultation with you by telephone . ~ being that nobody else seems to understand the pure evil , of what Im dealing with }


    1. HG Tudor says:

      No, we are not in cahoots.

    2. Anonymous says:

      Monet, I understand the pure evil you r dealing with. I believe most people on this blog do as well. I never believed in the devil, Lucifer, Satan . . . but I believe now. I slept with the Devil.
      However, the consults are a great step. Because I was sniffling, angry, resentful, vindictive and felt alone. I want more than just wising up. Taking action to get my life back now . . . 4ever changed.

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