All In The Eyes


The eyes are one of our powerful weapons. I hear so many comments made about my eyes.
“I saw the world in your eyes.”
“Everything I ever wished for, I could see in your eyes.”
“I’ve never known anyone give me such a malevolent stare.”
“You are dead behind the eyes.”
“That hollow look you give me, chills me inside.”
“Your reptilian, empty stare always unnerved me.”
When we first engage with you, we are able to reflect back at you want you desperately want. Hope, optimism, desire and trust are all mirrored in our eyes. Do not be mistaken and think that we generate those looks. We do not. All we are doing is ensuring that you see what you want to see in order to ensnare you. This mirroring serves two purposes. Firstly, it shows you what you crave for and makes us all the more attractive to you. Secondly, it masks the empty void that truly exists. Whilst my kind and me learn how to behave and act, we mimic the way in which we are expected to respond in the most favourable manner, we do not truly feel any of those things and we cannot generate it in our eyes. Everything else we are able to simulate – the laugh, the smile, the look of surprise, the intonation of elation in our voices. We have carefully crafted these facsimiles of your emotions but managing to do so in our eyes has always eluded us. We cannot fall at the first hurdle however and have you see through our charade. Accordingly, we have managed to master the mirroring technique. You want that love and hope so badly you will see it in us when you are really just seeing yourself. We hold your gaze for longer than anyone else. You are conned into thinking this is just demonstrating the intensity of our desire for you. It is not. We must look directly into your eyes to shine back at you that which you send towards us. Should we look way, the reflection may fail and we must always have you in our eye.
As with all of our pretence we are unable to maintain this deceit for long. The mirror breaks and the shards of reflection fall away leaving the chasm of emotionlessness behind. The barren hinterland beyond our eyes is all that is left, bereft of anything at all. That is why in the later stages you will see nothing when you look at us. We cannot generate those real emotions and our mirror has now failed. Our real gaze is all that is left, cold, empty and lifeless. People often remark about how the eyes are the window to the soul. Our soul left long ago and that is why you look into dead, uncaring eyes. Even though our mouth is upturned in a smile, the crows feet at the sides crease and the brow rises, our eyes betray us. Glacial and sterile they show the reality of what we are; devoid of positive emotion and spiritually bankrupt.
All that we are able to muster is hatred. Our loathing of this unjust world is so intense that it will break through when we wish to direct that hatred against you. That is when the emptiness vanishes and instead you are subjected to our laser-like, pinpoint accurate malevolent stare. I mentioned in the recollection about the cookie jar, how I had practised my withering stare one summer. This is the precursor to our malice, our antipathy and our scorn. With consummate ease we will call on it to intimidate you and signal our contempt for you. It is powerful, unwavering and unsettling. To be on the receiving end of our hateful stare is not a pleasant experience. We muster such power with our eyes, to seduce you and then to break you, but the reality is that we only have three settings. The mirror, the void and the hatred. There is nothing else. That is all that our eyes have.

14 thoughts on “All In The Eyes

  1. Sue Ellis says:

    This was very informative. I had no idea this was a trait. My ex said I love you so much, look in my eyes and you will see just how much. His eyes looked exactly like shark eyes, flat and dark. It was terrifying to see. I went to the bathroom to hide for a while and cover my fear. I later asked him what was wrong with his eyes and if he was on drugs. He insists and I think he believes it, that his eyes show nothing but how much love he has for me. Scary stuff

    1. NarcAngel says:

      Sue Ellis
      You could consider that a narcissistic truth. His eyes (shark-like flat and dark) did show you how much he loved you – not at all. Its we who put the positive or romantic spin on it in order to accept it.

  2. LYNN says:

    Yes its when you see that blackness in their eyes of the Narc/psychopath is when you know they are thinking how much they would like to kill you if they thought they could get away with it. I have had a knife held to my throat and seen that stare. I thought I might die but but I held that gaze and showed nothing I was very brave. Then I told him he shouldn’t play with knives and carried on as though nothing had happened, crazy when I look back.

  3. Em says:

    He even sent me a close up photo of his eye via email. So when I opened the attachment his eye filled the screen. He Called it ‘peeking at you’.
    It was chilling. Ice cold expressionless.
    With those puffy eye bags like Trump.

    1. Julie says:

      Thats just creepy weird. Ew,omg!

      1. Em says:

        Hi Julie
        I thought it was creepy at the time but tried to find it amusing and cute. It’s a bit of everpresence too.
        Now I know more I can see those puffy lower eyelids and the blank eye that has nothing behind it. Now I know what it means….. that’s the latest greater narc. – no contact.
        In the grooming seduction period he’d also do what he called his Paddington bear stare. Now I think Ughhhhhh. He stares a lot.
        weirdly my ex husband I now know was a lesser narc has exactly the same lower lid puffiness.
        Creepy creepy creepy.

        1. Julie says:

          ((Shudder)) Em! My lesser could kill me with a look. He didnt have a single word…I KNEW. Its strange how dead the eyes can be on some N’s. My greater had a semi dead eye but I never felt afraid like lesser one. I remember telling the greater one day when he had a strange dead eye look that I couldnt figure him out and he said “dont try, you wont” .. creep

  4. Kate says:

    My son was born six weeks premature. He spent the first six weeks of his life in the Intensive Care Nursery, being intubated on and off, being poked with needles repeatedly, almost bleeding out from a thing in his arm, etc. I would sit by him all day, every day from 10:00 a.m. to 10:00 p.m. (visiting hours, obvious breaks excluded). I read books on Neonatology so that I could understand what was happening with him and to him, as well as what might happen. He had been doing well, then became totally unresponsive at a point where he looked like he was going to be coming home with me.

    On one of the two or three occasions that my ex-husband / my son’s father made a brief appearance at the ICN, all of the doctors and nurses asked us to come into a conference room.

    One of the doctors told us that our baby had Sepsis. I burst out in uncontrollable sobs. My ex just stared at me. I cried out to him, “he could die!”, and he continued to stare without moving. One of the doctors said, “comfort her!” and it was the lamest, emptiest and most insincere attempt at someone comforting another that I have ever witnessed.

  5. T says:

    HG , an empath can see the light that is still there. Or at least I have the ability to see it in people’s eyes and your heart. But there’s no convincing your kind of this. I’m the moth, you’re the flame. And 99 percent of the time, the moth of course loses and the flame wins.
    Hope that makes sense.

  6. Ugotit says:

    How does this play out during a discard when they risk losing you forever is there no fear of this or does the desire to own the person disappear when they discard someone ? What about when the person escapes and the hoovers don’t work and the narc withdraws do they also then not care about losing the person

    1. Ugotit says:

      That reply was supposed to be for the post I want to own u

  7. Jeannine says:

    I know this malevolent stare all too well. It still makes my heart race even thinking about it.

  8. Julie says:

    Great article . Ty

  9. JMPFR says:

    There is nothing colder than that stare …

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