The Virtual Fuel Matrix


I have stated on many occasions that technology not only extends our reach but enables us to identify a multiplicity of targets. This enables us to home in on potential targets with greater ease, gather intelligence about them for the purposes of aiding our ensnarement of the target, maintain our grip even when we are not physically proximate and gather fuel when not in the same room as the relevant appliance.

Yet, is technology merely an extension to our existing needs and manipulations, as opposed to a substitute? Might we ensnare somebody who lives thousands of miles from us, on the other side of the planet? If we do so, how does that fit into our fuel matrix? What is that person to us? How does the dynamic play out and what does this mean for the empath?

Naturally, the increase in technological reach, its ease and frequency of availability means that we are going to avail ourselves of this development in attending to our needs. We will use this technology in three main ways.

Firstly, where we have ensnared individuals who we interact with in a physical proximate fashion, we use technology to maintain our hold and to manipulate. Thus, we have an Intimate Partner Primary Source (“IPPS”) who we see most days in the flesh, but we send text messages, speak by telephone, engage in FaceTime conversations and use e-mail to draw fuel, manipulate and exert control. We see our friends (Non Intimate Secondary Sources (“NISSs”) every so often, meeting to have a drink, play sport, see a film or just catch up, yet again we will engage with them through technology.

Secondly, we use technology to find those who we will ultimately meet in person. Technology allows us to cast our net wide, weed out those who are unsuitable, select several prospects at once and use minimal effort to seduce them and gather information about them to use to further our needs.

Thirdly, we will use this technology to cultivate and maintain a stable of appliances for the purposes of bolstering our fuel matrices.  This is the Virtual Fuel Matrix. All of our kind have them – some maybe minor in nature, not often used (although this is rare) whilst others are extensive and relied on significantly by the narcissist. Others alternate through relying on the physical fuel matrix for the most part and periodically turning to the virtual fuel matrix in certain instances.

This third use is the focus of this article. This particular use has many variations with regard to the narcissistic dynamic. There are countless variations which will arise with regard to the composition of the Virtual Fuel Matrix, the use that is made of it, the fuel gathered and how it fits into the narcissist’s overall fuel matrix, but consider these scenarios for example :-

  1. A Lesser Victim Narcissist who as a consequence of health issues is confined to home. He has a dutiful Carrier Empath as the IPPS, there are a handful of family members and friends (NISSs) who call round every so often, but the LVN interacts not only with these appliances through technology, he goes online repeatedly to interact with a stable of tertiary sources , some of whom becomes NISSs owing to the frequency of interaction, through messaging, chat rooms and the like, but he does not speak to them or see them, other than pictures on profiles. He never physically meets any of them. He has no interest in any sexual intimate interaction with them.

2. A Mid-Range Somatic Narcissist. She has an IPPS in her husband and has two Shelf IPSSs on the side. She has a number of NISSs in her fuel matrix, through friends, family, colleagues and neighbours and therefore has a solid physical fuel matrix. She however likes to head to her bolthole and comb through dating sites and chat rooms, connecting with a myriad of tertiary sources. Some she will flirt with, sending pictures and so forth on just the one occasion. Some are Non Intimate Tertiary Sources (“NITS”) but those she interacts with as a one-off and engages sexual content with are Intimate Partner Tertiary Sources (“IPTS”). Others she engages with repeatedly and not only sexts with those individuals, talks ‘dirty’ down the telephone but sends naked pictures (and receives them) from a steady stable of half a dozen men. She will not send videos but will accept them. This group is made up of Intimate Partner Secondary Sources (“IPSSs”). She has  no intention of meeting any of them but gathers fuel from these nightly forays through various methods of communication.

3. A Mid-Range Cerebral Narcissist. He has an IPPS in his wife. He naturally draws Proximate Fuel from her because they live together and see each other every day. Her fundamental role however is provider of residual benefits as she runs the home and runs around after the MRCN. Something of a loner he does not really have any friends and prefers not to engage much with colleagues (other than when he has to for reasons of work) and family members. He looks down on them, seeing them as inferior to his intellect and not worthy of his interaction. He prefers to sit in  The Relational Tower and lock himself each night in his Bolthole and from there he spends his time Skyping people who share an interest in his academic interests, debating with them and rubbishing their theories. These people are NITS and NISSs. He also delights in going to particular websites and blogs where he engages in trolling (although from his perspective he merely sees it as him putting the morons straight on their lack of intellect and understanding). The indignant responses from NITS provides him with fuel, albeit of low potency and in small amounts. Nevertheless, he experiences little risk of being wounded as there is no actual physical interaction with these people, they will not reject him by turning away or failing to acknowledge him across a crowded bar. Instead, when they fall silent after he has trounced them in a Skype conversation or through the written word, he savours that as evidence of his victory. He either sees their angry or irritated expression and gains fuel or derives Thought Fuel from imagining their wailing and gnashing of teeth at having been defeated by his superior intellect.

4. A Greater Somatic.  Away on business and in a hotel room he has a ready-made stable of individuals with whom he engages in sexting, the acquisition of naked pictures and videos and who are IPSSs. He goes further and engages in mutual masturbation sessions with these IPSSs through FaceTime, Skype or (occasionally if seeing is not an option) on the telephone. He will however to cause worlds to collide by coercing these IPSSs to visit him when he travels so that his virtual stable of IPSSs will provide even more fuel and residual benefits by being commanded to meet him in hotel rooms across the globe. His sexual imagination, prowess and ability to configure IPSS connections in different continents means that whilst he will use this stable to draw fuel virtually, he also uses it to occasion the physical connection too.

5. A Mid-Range Elite. He lives alone. He has family in the city where he lives who he sees intermittently and various friends and colleagues who he sees quite often and therefore has a large bank of NISSs to draw on. He however interacts with one source every single day. He is in Europe and she is in the Middle East. They speak on the telephone frequently through the day. They Skype often and for hours at a time, watching the same films although in different continents, effectively going on virtual dates. They have never met. They see one another through Skype and FaceTime, they swap nude pictures, they engage in mutual masturbation, they even have Skype still going in the background when they fall asleep, one watching the other sleep often owing to the difference in time zones. They have never touched one another, never smelt one another, never felt skin on skin, yet spend hours with one another through the power of technology.

What is the status of these appliances which connect with the narcissist through technology? Are they empaths or normals who are just sucked in through the lure of the internet? Let us take each scenario in turn.

Scenario One. The Lesser Victim Narcissist is likely to engage with normal NITS and a mixture of normal and empathic NISSs. He will home in on the empathic NISSs with a greater intensity. The fuel provided will be of low to moderate potency. The quantity provided will be low to moderate because although he may spend hours each day engaging with them, it is through the written word only and this is the poorest form of conveying fuel. The frequency is high.

The appliances will be content to engage in this manner and are unlikely to want more interaction or push for any physical meeting.

Scenario Two. The NITS and ITPS will largely be normals and those with higher narcissistic traits (but not narcissists). The IPSSs are likely to be a mixture of narcissists and empaths. The former looking to ensnare her, unaware of what she is and the latter bewitched by this attractive lady paying them such attention and hoping to meet her in due course. The fuel provided will be of low to quite high potency because of the intimacy which is injected. The quantity will be from low to quite high because whilst some will just be sexting, there are telephone conversations and videos which increase the quantity. The frequency is high during the hour or two she engages in this and then of course drops off when she no longer engages with these individuals.

The appliances who are NITS and ITPS are likely to remain content, for the most part, with the one-off interaction. The IPSSs will want more and will experience frustration at not being able to gain admittance to the narcissist physically.

Scenario Three. The NITS and NISS will be a mixture of normals and empaths, with the occasional inadvertent narcissist too. The fuel provided will be of low to moderate potency as there is no intimacy involved, however the quantity will range from low to quite high because the MRCN sees the reaction of the appliances and hears it when he Skypes and uses FaceTime. The frequency is high because the MRCN prefers to operate from the Bolthole in this manner to keep drawing on this extensive virtual fuel matrix.

The appliances will be content to keep the interaction as it is. One or two NISSs may prefer to meet but will not press hard for this to happen.

Scenario Four. Leaving aside the physical interaction that the narcissist brings about (that is the Physical Fuel Matrix) with regard to the virtual element, the potency will be quite high because these are all IPSSs. The Greater will have chosen empaths for the most part, although may also draw a Lesser or Mid Range Narcissist into the matrix. The quantity will range from medium to quite high because he can see and hear the responses of the appliances. The frequency will be low to moderate as the Greater will use the physical interaction far more extensively than the virtual. He turns to the Virtual Fuel Matrix when travelling between places or in a place where he is limited in time and opportunity to hunt down suitable appliances and therefore prefers to “bolt on” the ready-made one which is always there when he chooses to engage with it.

The appliances here will want more. They will press for greater engagement with the narcissist (and may well be granted it as Shelf IPSSs or DLSs arising from the virtual matrix to begin with). Many will want the formality of a proper relationship with the Greater but will not be granted it.

Scenario Five. This scenario is one which requires a more detailed examination and this will arise in the forthcoming article ‘The Loneliness of the Long Distance Empath.’



  1. Dearest HG: I am currently reading your book: Sitting Target. Many say that your book Sex and the Narcissist is very enlightening, and I agree. However, I find Sitting Target really illuminating/disturbing as it goes over how it all gets started. I am currently reading the details about all the steps that the Narcissists take to ensnare the Source. I am a bit shocked by it all. I find Sitting Target more disturbing than Sex and the Narcissist. I expected the converse.

  2. Hg,

    1. Does the victim midrange narcissist ever meet the Shelf IPSS in person?

    2. Why does the narcissist’s rejection to date or in this case commit to me bother me so much? I know he is a narcissist and I don’t want to actually be with him. But I hate feeling rejected and I want to remove this feeling.

    For almost 3 years, we have been talking on the phone, texting, and video chatting with some dirty conversations and some sexual activity (on his end, no ejaculation because I stopped him). It hasn’t escalated further because I told him that I need to be dating in order to engage in sexual activity. He would reject my desire to date but tries to place us as friends with benefits.

      1. Hi HG,

        How long does the lovebombing stage typically last for the victim midrange narcissist?

        During our consult, you mentioned this particular narcissist who I was discussing was a victim cadre in midrange…. which I guess is rare lol

        1. If your question is, how long does the love bombing (seduction) period last from first meeting the narcissist until becoming embedded as the IPPS then the answer would be

          1. As long as it takes to gain control.

          There is a multiplicity of factors which affect this namely, is there an existing IPPS in devaluation or not, are there other competing IPSSs, what are fuel levels, are residual benefits being sought amongst other matters.
          All be careful not to confuse the love bombing (seduction) period with the golden period (as this covers seduction and embedding).

          1. Hi HG,

            I apologize, I wasn’t clear. I meant that how many months (or years, I don’t know) does the victim midrange narcissist typically stay infatuated with the IPPS after embedding her?

          2. Quite alright. Thank you for clarifying.

            The rule is that the IPPS will always be devalued (and thus lose the infatuation) through one of the 5 devaluation triggers. The most common one is essentially your fuel becomes stale (thus we are bored of you).
            In terms of the timescale, it would be 6-12 months for the victim Mid Range Narcissist following the embedding as IPPS.

          3. Hi HG,

            I forgot to include the victim lower midrange (in our consult, you mentioned that he is either a lower midrange or middle midrange),

            1. For the victim lower midrange narcissist, does the timescale of infatuation after embedding the IPPS typically lasts for 2 months? If not, what is the typical timescale for this narcissist?

            2. Does the timescale shorten if the school is lower?

          4. Interesting! I thought love bombing and golden period were two terms for the same thing. So lovebombing until the narc is satisfied the target is ensnared and golden period once the target is ensnared?

          5. No.

            1. The seduction of an appliance is part of the golden period.
            2. If that appliance becomes the IPPS, when they are embedded as such the golden period continues until devaluation.

            For someone who becomes the IPPS there are two parts to the golden period – seduction and embedding.

  3. Dear Mr Tudor,
    What if you lock yourself in your room for 5 years at night with only a tv grog n smokes. There was no internet back then, shirking all your family and home duty responsibilities. Sleep work n eat and having sex behind your wife’s back with the office staff.
    Is that still a mid range cerebral?
    Being single, he still locks himself in his tower with blinds closed, doors shut, yet he now has a phone and computer

    Thank you (this jigsaw just keeps growing)

    1. I would need more information to provide an accurate assessment and the appropriate forum for doing so is through a consultation.

      1. Dear Mr Tudor,
        Thank you for your reply, I was merely curious and comparing on your mid range antics. The weasel is not worth it!
        Kindly Bubbles

  4. HG, you wrote elsewhere that once an appliance has been intimate with a narcissist, the narcissist views and will always view her as an intimate partner even if intimacy has stopped and the narcissist is now treating her as a NISS. However, you also wrote that the intimate partner can be demoted to a NISS. This seems contradictory. Would you mind clarifying? Thank you!

      1. Sorry, HG. I am not following. Do you mean that is the demotion when an intimate partner, even though still deemed intimate, but treated as a NISS?

        1. Someone who is a Shelf IPSS will still be regarded as a Shelf IPSS even though they are treated as a NISS because there is no intimacy, but there has been and may well be again. Someone who was the IPPS is always the Former IPPS even if they are treated as a Shelf IPSS, or NISS.

          1. Or, it could be phrased that once you’ve bumped uglies with someone, you can’t erase that. If you’ve known them biblically so to speak, there’s no take back. So even if you stop the physical intimacy, it’s always there in the memory bank haven taken place. You may now be treated as a non-intimate secondary source, but the Narc has marked you already.

      2. Thank you, HG! So the demotion consists in being treated as a NISS, correct?

    1. Bingo this is exactly what happened to me. Is this due to new supply entering the fuel matrix?

  5. What is the title of the source that the mid range elite narc talks to every day. Is she a secondary source or primary?

    1. Too broad – this could be a friend, a colleague, someone who works in a coffee house, a family member.

  6. “The Loneliness of the Long Distance Empath.”

    I continue to look forward to this article.

  7. Wow HG! I have been watching the numbers climb for a few weeks. Won’t belong now until you hit the big one!!! 😉

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