A Letter to the Narcissist – No. 35
D***,
You know what I miss? I miss hanging out with you watching SNL, Colbert, and hilarious movies, drinking fabulous California Cabs or intriguing French wines. Smoking some weed now and then. I miss stimulating conversation. I miss our conversations full of wit and feeling like we really connected. I miss hearing how gorgeous and sexy I am. I miss making fires with you in the chiminea. I miss you taking care of me. I miss R****’s joyful greeting of you. I miss your car in my driveway. I miss your presence. I miss the good ways you made me feel. I miss your sweet texts. I don’t miss the others.
I miss the way you looked at me and how that look made me feel so, oh so secure. I miss seeing you at my concerts. I miss you in my house, on my couch, in my kitchen, bathroom, and I miss you in my bed. I miss the Paseo house! You TOLD me that was mine! I miss you all over. I knew all along you were dishonest.
Being a super Empath, I sooooo wanted to believe in you and “our love”. I tried harder with you than my past narcs. You truly showed me the love I’m capable of. You showed me MY LOVE. You showed me yourself early on. I think the first test was when you called to me to say you broke my Mom’s cake dish. I know now that you were testing me. You didn’t really break it. You wanted my reaction. When *odi called me to warn me while you stayed with me 17 days during storm sandy, (who I now know is a tranny…) then you took me to NYC to a fabulous Jazz concert staying at the W. only to phone me after you drop me home to call and scream at me for being on POF. Weren’t you? I mean, how’d you know? And…??? Anyway, I emailed you next day… hey you’re gf called me… Hoover Hoover Hoover… back up and running… for 5 years.
In one way I thank you for showing what was missing. It’s not you. It was me. I was missing. I can’t believe I still cry over you. Truth is, I’m still crying over me. No worries.
As painful as this has been, my destination will be sublime. The day I don’t ache for you will come. When I genuinely heal my innermost wounds I will not desire you nor will you enter my thoughts. For you are my wounds.
Best,
Peaceful.
PS: thanks for all the diamonds. enjoying selling them off
11 thoughts on “A Letter to the Narcissist – No. 35”
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Thank you Peaceful, your words so true ‘you are my wounds’ they are like salt in our wounds, relighting the pain, rerunning our struggles, em-pounding the anxiety, inflaming the answer seeking and confusion.
However we have intact our magnificent souls, whilst theirs have been stolen and they can’t or are so arrogant they do not even think they should fight to win that most precious entire part of themselves back.
Or maybe they are afraid of the battle to win, they fight their fears with bullying cruelty, in their soulless shadows, they do not stand with courage to expel the demon thief that stole their soul.
Peaceful, we move on the same path and our legs get stronger everyday and know that they brought, with the help of these sites, the understanding of our wounds and finally make us start to heal them.
We faced the horrible recognition that something we thought so beautiful, that would save us from that darkness, was just a snake that would coil us, in the words of Amy, ‘back to black’
Now the black has a name ‘wound’ and now we are slowly healing it forever. I hold your hand while we walk until the black turns to the white of liberty, peace, joy, love and happiness.
xxxx
I got a letter several months after I had been emotionally gutted. I just looked at it, sitting there on the table. Pacing while pondering the situation. I flipped it over, and on the back side it said, “A Nice Letter Inside.” After having read HG Tutor’s books… I decided that No Contact is No Contact, and I put the letter in the fireplace and burned it. “NICE”? What the heck? When do you have to tell someone that what you are about to read is NICE? I honestly LOVE my life, without getting my face rubbed in the crap of another person’s actions.
Heather
Bravo on burning that letter without reading it. Even if it were nice, it was of no use to you so why give it any power? Bravo.
Return to Sender. The post will send it back. FYI
FYI. Return to Sender. ADDRESS Unknown. The Post will return it. Kudos to you! Narcs and empaths have diff definitions of ‘nice’
Amazing strength Heather well done, I don’t think I could have resisted reading, more fool me.
Lynn x
Umm…storm sandy???
Hurricane Sandy!!
I retain what I might have missed he left empty100% exposed Down to the Sordid nasty bits His role as the Star is nothing but an amateur pre- school play staged by a wailing tantrum throwing 2 year old with Chest hair and a goatee mommys golden little soldier is a bereft hateful tyrant who has taken on the apearance of a jr sized mortally wounded T rex with scalepatches hanging and his once Beautiful Glossy Appearance Is now obscurred by the evident Truth of his mutation .Oh How Grand did he flail his Neck and Tail As he Stealthed his Way About Gaslighting and Smearing Me as he went I have Every last Detail Of The Public Conversations from his Cell Phone _I have in Documentation His messages Both Side in fact _Yes Never under Estimate a Person Who Needs the Truth I have All the Parties Conversations His Family Skypes As they Play Their Subservient Roles To Keep The Diapered 40 yr old Monster Cooing And Giggling in Glee_With his Worn out Toy Beside him Bent and Broken From the Bottom Up The Obvious Body work of the Many garages she has spent her life lying in After the numerousT-Bone accidentsThat Left Her Core Looking like a Muddy Deep South Back road after a slide She Has the Comliness of An moray eel and a signature S on her Back Side where the torrential rains of her ways Have left a gnarly Ravine in her crooked spinal column on down to the clay mud gravel pit sink hole That looks near Risk of a Complete Collapse .all its once Structured walls Worn away over her time of heavy traffic bearing the loads that came before him _Its a Shameless Grotesque Sight She Proudly Portrays close enough to smear the very Skype Screen with a ghastly streak_We Got This my Baby she Horselaughs To The Prince Of nothing real . Oh Yes They Envision Them selfies as the King of Diamonds and the Queen of Hearts But in pictures and verse they show publicly the reality is no winning Hand but the best they have to offer is a losers bet on a 2 of Clubs and an 8 of spades_ They are nothing to envy in any rite With their Crown Comes NOTHING but The Garbage of their own schemes an indelible Stain and a corrosion of moral decay in Nasty public display There is No help That I am apt to Give But a Quick and Firm Downward Turn of the Handle To Whoosh them away for ever From My remaining days He is respectable She Says and He Clamors the Air about his Dignity like pair of Cymbals they Clang their Din into the ears of the Needy to believe Lies to uphold their self deluded pride of a status that is at best a whitewashed Outhouse from years of lime covered dung heap upon heap _He Set out for Admiration and they both paraded themselvesTo the City Lagoon stirring it around as a pomp_A closet taped Amateur Porn video that the most desperate would despise is their Starring roles it bespeaks of the nasty nether parts they slobber and drool over It Brings about A Rise in a persons Body hair It so makes one cringe at its utter disgusting sight-Google images to their family names Evacuating the debris and depravity one might expect from large cities backed up sewer system_and its Public Record To their Honor Smearing and Gaslighting Are Sadistic and Evil Cruelty to Do to a Human Being Far beit Doubled When One can Laugh as they have done her aged horse laughs Of We Got this my Baby as he croaks Back His full diaper giggle Yes Indeed patriarch of the deep with your swayback nag that has been rode by every passerby YES INDEED YOU GOT THIS ! prince baboon of a the Brown Algal Bloom and his capuchin monkey queen rotty crotty of hottie tottie land___ BOMB VOYAGE to the Creatures of their Own Doom Lagoon___ flushed and fated Swirling Away farewell Guardian prince fudgepacker and crooked crack rubber winged gomorrah queen angel horse laugh _ Fuel Thyselves For none Esteems thee Narcish Kraken of hades abyss Anchors Away your highness signature stench of rank Sardines may your foulness get exactly what you have begged and groveled for smile your wicked smile Your Mother shall recognize You by your Crusted Bottom Floor and his by her sailor sons anchor sunk in your leperous mole covered flesh___Excuse Me Now As I must Step out of my Galactic Storm Narcstume regalia Into my SSE Me _ Never again cross My Van Allen Belt or I will Dwarf Thy Sly wicked Smile With a SSE Boomerang effect certain and fatal Collision with Compassion and Empathy_JUSTICE is Being Served for Mistaking Kindness For Stupidity_ Prepare For Round 3 With 4 close behind Your Happy End Sunny Tartarus Awaits Prince Narcissist of the upper mid range Category
Wow, what a treat . 2 narc letters.
Best Wishes and continued healing.
Ha ha ha…..thanks for the laugh, Yolo.
Thank you for sharing your story.