The Silent Sextuplet


The use of and imposition of silence are two of the most powerful weapons in our abusive arsenal. Silence is easy to deploy and horrendously effective in securing our aims of compliance, control and fuel.

1. My silence is always meaningful

You may sit quietly because you have no need to say anything. You may remain silent because you are listening to somebody else or just enjoying the silence.  We do not allow silence to be used in such a passive and redundant fashion. Our silence is used to convey contempt. It is used to draw concern and cause anguish in you. When we fall silent that pregnant pause is an indicator of the fury which will be unleashed against you. The longer silence is the imposition of our cold fury as you are banished to a sustained silent treatment. When we sit in silence we are not savouring the lack of noise, we are thinking, planning and plotting, calculating our next step. Our silences are weapons, they are our operations headquarters, our defence against your critical wounding of us. We use silence to hurt you, warn you, scold you and indicate you have overstepped the mark. Every silence has a meaning, it would be remiss of us to use it any other way.

2. Absence makes the silence longer

The deployment of an absent silent treatment where we remove ourselves from you, invariably with no warning or indication is a confirmation to you that this silent treatment will not be short-lived. The need to absent ourselves sends you a clear signal that we will be gone for some time. It is designed to have you come after us, try to contact us and beg and plead so that you fuel us. When we impose a period of absence by vanishing we are reinforcing how easily we are able to consider you gone from our lives. You may not even be able to contact us but we gather fuel from our knowledge that this sudden disappearance will cause you considerable consternation and worry. The absent silent treatment is also a key indicator that we are engaged in the seduction of a new prospect and providing this person with our false love and attention, which we have removed from you.

3. The silent gesture

Our silences are not just occasioned by us not talking to you or absenting ourselves for a period of time. We deploy silence through gestures. We may not turn up when we have agreed to a date with you, in order to reinforce how you mean so little to us and that we have any number of more pressing engagements to attend to than dine with you in a restaurant. Leaving you alone in bed, our side of the bed now empty and cold is also a hammer blow to your confidence and self esteem as we choose the spare room, the sofa or the bed of another in preference to being with you during the night. The silent telephone call from a withheld number, used when we are hoovering you, is designed to put you on edge. Is it us calling you this late? It must be mustn’t it, but you cannot be sure? The failure to buy you a gift on your birthday,  creating a gap which ought to have been filled stands out considerably and allows us to apply maximum hurt through such a silent gesture.

4. The silent presence

By giving you the cold shoulder when everyone else is met warmly and enthusiastically, we cause you to feel completely alone even when you are surrounded by others. You try to carry on as if nothing has happened but you know that people will be wondering why we are not speaking to you. You feel the flush of embarrassment as once again you try to speak to us and you receive only a glare and then we sweep away. You want to challenge us but as ever it is you that will be criticised for creating a scene. You want to upbraid us for our childish sulking but you have learned that the consequences of doing so are not worth suffering. We of course know all this and we know how powerful our freezing you out in the company of others really is.

5. Suffer in silence

You are never to speak of what goes on between you and I to anyone else. Should you ever do so you are committing an act of heinous betrayal and your punishment for such a transgression will be malicious and fierce. You are not to betray me and speak of what you are subjected to. You are to endure it so that you become a better person, one who is compliant and obedient. Do you understand? I also know that you fear the repercussions of speaking out and this enforces my curfew. I also know that you feel compelled to remain loyal because of the golden period and how you feel duty bound to remain and try to resolve matters, work this difficult period through and fix what has become somehow broken. Your indefatigable spirit teeters on the brink of misplaced pride at not telling tales and instead knuckling down, irrespective of what is thrown at you, in order to bring about a resolution to our problems. You cannot succeed but you do not know that yet. For now you must suffer in silence.

6. I speak, you stay silent

Never interrupt me, never talk over me, never steal my thunder. When I speak everybody listens because what I have to say is brilliant, great and of tremendous import. You would do well to listen to improve yourself, please me and avoid angering me. You are my sounding board, Horatio to my Hamlet, a listener and in my presence you only speak when it is required to honour my achievements and laud my greatness. You are to be seen but only heard when I deem it necessary. Who wants to listen to what you have to say anyway? You only get invited to events because of me. They are only friends with you because they are friends of mine. Nobody is interested in you. Nobody. So stay quiet and listen.

11 thoughts on “The Silent Sextuplet

  1. Bubbles 🍾 says:

    Dear Mr Tudor,

    I will never be silent again


  2. Nina says:

    HG, so your every action is premeditated to elicit fuel or mold our behaviour? Nothing is ever impulsive? For example silence just because you might be angry.

  3. Michelle says:

    Some of this sounds like a little boy enamoured with his uncle Peter to me. Copying his ways and techniques, because he saw power. He saw how people reacted. And he wanted that.

    You say we are to be seen and not heard? I learnt that act a long while ago. Fake smiles, that’s pretty much all I do.

  4. Narcissists Cartoon says:

    The true personality of HG started to emerge.

    All what I have read so far was like, “our kind, us, we. . .”

    But this one shows something diffrent. I felt as if the words are directed to me. OMG. This post made me feel frightened it has a stronger impact than other posts.

    “Who wants to listen to what you have to say anyway?” Maybe someone wants to listen! But when we get away and plan a rocket escape, Woooooom. . .

  5. Lisa says:

    Thank you. The silent treatment is (was) my Prince Charming of 10yrs favorite form of torture. Until several months ago I googled the meaning behind them, if any.
    Imagine my surprise when the first podcast I listened to was one narrorated by you. Very insightful!

  6. CB says:

    “The failure to buy you a gift on your birthday, creating a gap”
    Oh, these ones are sooo tough, because no one owes me any gift. There is no such law. So I really can’t complain.
    But the sudden gap after having been lovebombed before, causes severe withdrawal.

    I actually once asked a guy why he hadn’t like-clicked one of my facebook photos.
    Afterwards I scratched my head wondering why I had asked such a thing.
    It wasn’t until a month later that I started googling and understanding what lovebombing and withdrawal symptoms really are, and that i had been put through an intense lovebombing for months.

  7. Teresa. says:

    Why is no one telling you how remarkable this is? I acknowledge that you are awful, but the fact that you are able to disclose these agendas is so liberating for us all. This is a horrible read; they all are. But we lived them nonetheless. I am grateful to (HG)”the monster”: As a result I grew wings, and flew very, very far way indeed…

    1. MB says:

      Absolutely Teresa!
      HG’s work is THE SOURCE for information and a true Godsend for those searching for answers. We let him know how brilliant he is every chance we get. I’m overjoyed you found your strength to grow wings. Good for you!

    2. spiritual Warrior says:

      Hi Teresa, It is so sad and horrible, Yet I don’t hate him. He give us the information we all have lived and try to understand, but This is HG getting fuel too. I have gotten very numb to much of this. I can not do no contact of checking out the social media of my ex narc. I do at least once a month. As he has had 3 lawyers after me and two court dates and I got death threat e-mails from him or his IPP or whatever you call it, HIS main supply GF who protects him. He having means of money power and time and her protecting him, has allowed him to do this for years to many women. Maybe not physical rape, but mental rape with a lot of wounded women who could get STD with his reckless sexing it up with many women at once. STD is a big factor no one really talks about with the Narcissist using sex as a seduction to our being SIRED TO them. Some women are trying to have a court case against him too. To me know of these being, has made me believe in evil more then I have ever know personal. AS I always, say you attract certain things in your life. I say how did I want this. He put a spell on me. BUT once I knew the truth, the veil that covered his ugliness came off and all I felt of goodness was gone of missing him and I. AS it was fake and lies. I can live with that. So because of this, he has suffered too. I believe they do suffer, as if we make their life of getting supply difficult or a good KICK IN THE BALLS. I think they can feel physical pain……lol Be Well

      1. Braver says:

        Your words resonate with me. Sometimes I do hate my ex because this hypervigilence I experience every day is uncomgortable and I blame him for that.

        But yesterday, someone reminded me. He’s unraveling. He is getting older now (39 yrs old), he’s been called out in this small community too many times. His fuel his low. Now he’s traveling an hour away to a college town to pick up vulnerable young women in his frat boy new car (must be longing for his younger years, huh, he looks RIDICULOUS. And he’s a walking, talking, won’t shut up STD). He’s desperate. Schools out for the summer.

        He will never know joy. That’s the Universe’s revenge for me.

        The women his age want older men with money. He’s a baby and wants a cougar to take care of him. Where I live? As a woman, you’re either a nurse or a purse.

        Silence wasn’t much of an issue. I did get the silent treatment a few times but mostly he loved to argue so we argued a lot. IQ match (I’m the higher IQ of the two), he’s a LGN I think. Life with him was a constant battle of the wits, calling him out on his manipulation attepts, word salad and gaslighting attempts squashed, etc. and then make up rape.

        I escaped very quickly once the devaluation started. I’m not a masochist. Now he stalks me. Until death do us part.

    3. HG Tudor’s #1 fan says:

      Good luck on your journey.

      HG Tudor is changing lives for the better while setting souls free.

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