The Porn Supremacy

 

THE PORNSUPREMACY

 

There is a significant correlation between our kind and the use of pornographic material. Once upon a time, one might imagine that the size of a person’s porn stash might have been a rough and ready indicator of their reliance on porn and their potential for being one of our kind. Nowadays the availability of porn through the internet means that millions of images and videos are available at the click of the mouse. No longer is it necessary for people to buy top-shelf magazines, visit an “adult sex shop” to purchase videos or DVDs, or import some hardcore material from another jurisdiction. It is far easier to go online and obtain a porn fix there instead. If you have been entangled with our kind, it is highly likely that porn featured on the agenda. Initially, it will have been used as an aperitif to sexual activity, watching a film together or surfing for some interesting snippets in order to get us both in the mood or enhance the mood further. It would provide a basis for discussion between us as to ascertaining sexual mores and appetites. During seduction we would garner from you what worked for you, what turned you off and what intrigued you. Some of that knowledge would be put to use as part of the seduction and some of it would be stored away for later use. Porn would be used in an effective and healthy manner. Our true use of porn would be suspended by the needs arising from effecting the seduction, embedding you and extracting your positive fuel.

Porn appeals to each cadre of narcissist as a consequence of its availability and ubiquity. I will detail below a host of reasons why narcissists of all cadres and schools utilise porn, especially during the devaluation period, but to begin with, a brief mention as to why porn is specifically appealing to these groups.

The Victim Narcissist – with low energy levels and often a low libido, porn provides an easy and available option. Some Victim Narcissists also suffer sexual dysfunction and therefore watching porn is an easy substitute for something they are less able to do.

The Somatic Narcissist – porn is his playground. His obsessions with body and performance come together in a glittering array of writhing and gyrating bodies. Porn is the cradle of the somatic.

The Cerebral – whilst he may have less interest in the sex act, he still wants to know plenty about it and watching extensive amounts of porn, understanding techniques, observing scenarios and so forth enables the Cerebral Narcissist to stockpile his sexual arsenal for later use through spoken and written communication.

The Elite – quite obviously a combination of the reasons that attract the Somatic and the Cerebral means that the Elite finds much to relish in the world of pornography.

The Lesser –  the power and control which come with porn appeal to the lesser. His lack of imagination is also catered for by watching such a massive array of porn.

The Mid-Range –  acquisition of knowledge about porn enables him to portray himself as more capable than he is and enables him to talk a good game.

The Greater – the access to depravity and humiliation appeals especially to the Greater. Whilst such actions will also be evidenced in the Lesser and Mid-Range, it is the Greater who makes more extensive use of porn in this fashion.

Accordingly, porn provides some kind of use to each school and each cadre of our kind. If your narcissist did not appear to access porn, then it is probably the case that you just never caught them doing so. Secrecy is a significant part of the narcissistic lifestyle and secret tablets, activity in the bolthole and password locked devices will invariably be masking a use of porn.

Why do our kind make such extensive use of porn? The use of porn naturally is nor per se a bad thing and many victims enjoy viewing porn as a stimulating and vibrant addition to sexual activity. Those reasons are for stimulation, increasing knowledge and technique in order to please themselves and their partner and in essence for reasons which would be regarded by many people as “good”. Our reasons are far more varied.

  1. Objectification. I have explained previously how we regard people as objects because they are our appliances. This is even more so when we watch porn. Our grandiosity and sense of omnipotence means that these objects are performing for our benefit. We sit before glowing screen akin to a director as these objects interact at our say so. If we want to watch two women and a man together – click, we find the video. If we want anal – click, we find the video. She males, enemas, bondage – whatever we decide the objects should do, we just click and the relevant objects appear to do what we want. We consider ourselves as commanding them to do our bidding.
  2. Lack of intimacy. Our inability to feel many emotions means that intimacy is abhorrent to us. Yes, it will be faked during seduction because of the greater aim that exists but once there is no need for this, it is readily jettisoned. You may (not always admittedly) seek intimacy in your sexual union with us. We will not want that during devaluation and therefore this will result in an ignited fury response. In order to avoid such a scenario arising we take refuge in the world of porn where there is no intimacy. It is cold, clinical and two or more objects performing as we decree.
  3. Control of the environment. We do not want the environment to control us. We must control the environment. This is why control ranks so highly in our day to day dealings. In the arena of pornography, we are in complete control of the environment. We transport ourselves into the scenario as god-like we control it, directing people to place this here and that there, do this, do that, take this, take that. Porn is the ultimate place for us to be able to control the environment.
  4. Reflection. We do not exist save by reflection. This is why we have such an incredible need for external approval and why we seek fuel from everything that we interact with. Your emotional responses (good or bad) provide us with validation that we exist, that we matter and that we are important. We also take your characteristics to use as our own in order to further our construct of what we want to be. Porn facilitates this also. The supreme Olympic performances of those in the videos that we watch, we consider to be us. Therefore, we take those characteristics for ourselves. We also regard the reaction of those in the videos, their orgasmic screams of delight, their groans of pleasure, even the harsh words issued by a dominatrix to be directed as emotional reactions to us and thus fuel is gained and we receive validation by these people recognising us. We become a participant in the porn. If the video is a POV (point of view) production the effect is heightened.
  5. Withdrawal. By choosing to spend our time watching porn rather than being in bed with you we gain fuel from your response. Sometimes it will be Thought Fuel as we think of you lying there in a lonely bed upset and wondering why we spend so long locked in our bolthole and other times it will be Proximate Fuel as you berate us for watching porn or become upset when we reject your advances and head for the study instead. Our extensive use of porn is utilised to belittle you, thus drawing fuel and reinforce our superiority over you.
  6. Lack of challenge. We hate being challenged, after all, we are superior beings and you are inferior therefore any challenge you may issue to us in the sexual arena is unwelcome during devaluation. You are not allowed to make demands on us, have sexual needs which require fulfilment and the like. Those on the screen do not challenge us. Instead they comply with us and facilitate what we want and thus they are preferred.
  7. On tap. We require repeated validation and recognition of our importance and what better way than to receive it from a medium which is always there, always delivers and does so in spades? It does not feel tired; it does not have a period nor does it have a headache. It does not baulk at a certain demand or resist a depraved act. It performs when want it to and it provides us with what we need. This is how our appliances should operate and how we expect them to operate.
  8. Shame. We feel safer operating in an environment that  does not require an emotional obligation on our part. Not always, but you will often expect an intimate connection with us during sexual activity and we do not want to provide this as we cannot. Whilst we take fuel from your emotional reactions, you often want this reciprocated in the sexual arena more than any other and we are reminded of our inability to provide certain emotions to you and this creates shame. This is a criticism which will then ignite our fury and cause us to withdraw or lash out at you. We do not wish to experience this shame and therefore by engaging in viewing porn we are not subjected to this emotional demand from you. (This is also a factor in our kind’s use of one night stands and prostitutes).
  9. Uniqueness. By delving into deviancy and taboo activities online this reinforces our sense of being unique, special and above everyone else. Vanilla sex is available for everyone but we are not everyone. Watching the more deviant and kink sexual activities is not done in order to gain a sexual kick from doing so (although one will be present) the main aim is to reinforce our sense of being unique because we watch (and by extension engage in) such activity.
  10. Triangulation. We will use the watching of porn to triangulate with you. Either through withdrawing from sexual activity with you or using what we have viewed as the basis for insisting on you engaging in similar activities and telling you why we want you to do this. This allows fuel to be obtained and enables our superiority to be reinforced.
  11. Social media. Our porn habits during devaluation are usually solitary activities in our boltholes where we are also able to reach out and gain fuel from a wide range of appliances through social media at the same time. This creates a heady brew of fuel from our porn viewing and our interaction with appliances through social media. This is highly edifying for us and by combining the two we feel especially powerful. We receive fuel but we are also god-like as we command the people on screen to do our bidding as we pull the strings of those we message and text.

 

Accordingly, porn is something which appeals considerably to our kind.

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12 thoughts on “The Porn Supremacy”

  1. RP was 68 years old and he best fit HG’s description of a somatic upper mid-ranger. My first and only visit to his home was about a month into the seduction. Let’s see if I can put this delicately. The moment I arrived, RP wanted me kneeling on his tile kitchen floor. It was degrading but I submitted. However, before doing anything, I managed to move us into the next room which was carpeted {I didn’t want my knees as badly shredded as my dignity). He seemed momentarily rattled and dismayed, but quickly regained his composure and returned to the business of humiliating me. The remainder of the weekend, he was rather distant, not touching me again, save for a goodbye kiss. Shortly after that visit, he disengaged. About the same time, I discover HG and escaped. This was two years and many illuminating lessons ago. I have no proof, but I can’t shake the eerie feeling that RP had a video camera concealed in that kitchen hoping to record what transpired. We live hours apart, have no mutual friends, and his many follow-up hoover attempts were always benign. I suppose he might have utilized such a recording to ensure my silence, to smear me, or even to blackmail me, but nothing has materialized yet. Maybe by leaving the kitchen, I thwarted his plan. I often wonder if his thing is to keep video trophies of his appliances for a fuel stockpile or perhaps it is more like what HG detailed above. Is video recording victims like this a typical narcissistic behavior?

    1. SadderBut Wiser

      Had you been submissive to him previously? If not, and you feel comfortable enough to answer…You say it made you feel degraded but you complied (although you did alter it a bit for your own comfort). That is a huge red flag. Do you remember what went through your mind that allowed you to reason the degradation away and comply with his demand?

      1. NarcAngel, here is a bit of background. I had been widowed only a year after a wonderful marriage of 35 years. Having been cocooned in a cozy marriage for so long, I was very unsure of what was expected in a modern relationship. That is not to say that I don’t bear the responsibility of ignoring what were obvious red flags (and some other subtler signs that I learned later from HG and many of you on this forum). In my opinion, a combination of fresh grief, naivety, weak boundaries and the intensity of the seduction made me the quintessential sitting target. It was my first dive into the dating pool in over three decades, and I foolishly jumped in without checking for sharks. You ask a great question. The answer is no, I had not provided what he wanted prior to that. I believe what went through my head was, “I can get through this…..once.”

    2. I was secretly recorded doing something that I definitely wouldn’t want in the public domain. Funnily enough, I was on my knees at the time too. It’s probably easier to get the camera angle just right so that the narc’s face isn’t in the shot. He is also a mid range narc. He set up the video camera when I went to the bathroom. He then discarded me the following day and sent me a copy of the video saying that he was going to upload it to some ex girlfriend revenge porn site if I ever revealed his secret. His big secret was that he could only get off when he was wearing women’s trashy lingerie. I had absolutely no intention of telling anyone anyway. He even tried to hoover me a year later!

      1. Oh, Merry! I can’t imagine how furious and terrified you must have been. I don’t know what I would have done in your place (although murder doesn’t seem an overreaction).

        RP abruptly ghosted a few weeks after my incident. Hoovering commenced about two months later and two years down the road, he still tries. HG is correct. It may wane, but it is never truly over. Keep the bar high.

  2. My x said only few months before our relationship ended “you used to be good at sex”
    I thought that was odd. And it showed how he REALLY viewed our intimacy. It was just an ACT. I was GOOD. It was not real intimacy because in real intimacy with a normal person he would have said “I so loved having sex with you because I was connected to you – heart, soul, body” but he didn’t view it like that. It was a performance. I was an actress a thing. A real life flesh and blood performer of just a small part of what he had seen in the porn world.
    Porn is sad. It is distant and fake. But thanks HG for explaining why the narc NEEDS it.

  3. Thank you for explaining your point of view, H. G.
    I gathered more insight as to what my greater was thinking and experiencing during his many porn-related activities.
    I have a question for you, which you may have answered elsewhere in your informative blog. My cerebral, malignant, greater was a huge prude in our marital bed (and as part of his false-self image). He had no imagination or skills sexually. He was simply masterbating with a warm body with me. When I asked him why he didn’t open his eyes and look at me during intamacy, he said it was so he could think of porn images he had seen. (He got fuel from my reaction as well as finally told a truth, and proved to me that there were no itimacy bonds between us.)
    If he had tons of affairs during our two and a half decade marriage, (he later admitted to only five, yeah right), how in the world did he satisfy these women? Either he had amazing skills I never knew about, or he was a sexual dud and women looked past their disappointment and reveled in the fact they just got to copulate with a charming, demi god.

    1. Or he became what was necessary for the purposes of gaining fuel in each relationship owing the fluidity of the false self.

      1. Ah, thank you, H. G. That makes sense. He would wear the mask that most adequately mirrored the other person to get the best supply. I imagine he had some identities that would surprise me.

  4. Thanks HG . One thing that stood out was when you wrote about the narcissist watch porn because of a lack of imagination. It makes me see a little clearer. It reminds me not to take that seriously. That he watched it because of lack.
    It’s also sad it has to be this way for narcissists.

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