You breathe. I lie. Both come to us naturally. To you, an empathic and caring person who is imbued with the traits of decency, honesty and integrity the act of lying is anathema to you. Even the use of a little white lie as it spills from your lips has you feeling uneasy. You conduct yourself in a way that involves avoiding lying and you would rather stay silent than let an untruth escape your mouth. Not only will you not lie,you detest being lied to. The lie shatters trust. Trust is a fundamental ingredient,in your world, to any relationship, whether it is between spouses, colleagues, parent and child or service provider. Without trust nothing would be achieved and the world would be a darker place. Breaching that trust is a terrible act and where your trust has been broken by the issuing of a lie then you react with horror, anger, upset and dismay. I can think of no better device for drawing an emotional reaction from your kind than the issuing of a lie. Those three letters create a small word but one which has all manner of repercussions. From the lies that accompany infidelity which strikes at the core of the relationship, to the lies told by those in power to remain a demagogue and achieve political expediency, the effect of not telling the truth is substantial and enormous. Lying results in damage. Lie to your friends and you lose their respect, lie in a court and you commit perjury, lie about your circumstances and you commit fraud,lie to your children and you begin to warp their world, lie to your other half and you destroy a part of them. A small word which packs a thermonuclear punch. So easy to say, so simple to use and the effects can be devastating. No wonder my kind and me relish its use. Economical and effective, no other tool comes close to the power of telling lies and this is why we use them repeatedly,often and extensively.

The advantage of their use is by telling you a Long Involved Explanation we lead you up the garden path and around the houses causing you to become confused and bewildered. The advantage to us is that the terrible truth of what we do becomes Lost In Explaining what we have done by use of our convoluted and twisted diatribes. We tell untruths from the moment that we seduce you as we detail to you our Lovely Ideas Embellished with falsehood about how we will achieve a promotion in under six months, climb Mount Everest and interior design our new impressive home. The fact is that we are fantasists who exaggerate our achievements and our plans so that the Lucid Ideas Expand beyond reality. The use of lies assists us in evading the finger of blame. You will try and catch us our but there is never a Lapse In Exposition as we weave an ever more complex web in which we wish to ensnare you, leaving us untarnished. You look on in astonishment as Laughing I’m Escaping accountability yet again. No matter what I have done, no matter how heinous the activity I will allow untruths to spill from my lips with consummate ease so that I remain in control, superior and blame-free. Often it will be a short and bare-faced lie, designed to have you speechless with incredulity as I walk away Laughing Inside Energetically at your shocked face. On other occasions, I will engage in the shaggy dog story, going round and round, adding more and more to the tale so that I Lovingly Insinuate Eventually that you are the one to blame and this makes you react all the more. How can we have the audacity to say such things and turn the blame onto you? Look It’s Easy, we have no sense of remorse or guilt for the things that we say. You are burdened with a conscience and a moral compass that causes you to steer a path so you always stick to the road of truth. We have no such compass. We do not have a conscience and this allows us to weave and twist, taking our explanations into the realms of the fantastic. Whether we are boasting and bragging about what we are or seeking to escape culpability we will lie incessantly. You will plead with me to tell the truth. You will promise that there will be no upshot, no comeback and no consequence you just, for once want to hear us speak the truth. You know the truth but you want me to tell you, so you can hear it for once. Like I’m Ever going to do that. Why should I give you something that you want? Why should I cede control to you ? Most of all, why should I give up the opportunity of gathering fuel from you? This is why we lie extensively, even when the truth might actually serve us better (better when judged from your viewpoint of course – not ours) we will gain fuel. Our twisted lies always cause you to react and provide us with fuel. If a situation is Lacking In Emotion we know that all it takes is for us to tell you a lie, the bolder the better, the more brazen and ridiculous it is the greater your reaction will be because you hate lies and you hate being lied to. As you stand before me frustrated and upset, I am Laughing I’m Escaping yet again any responsibility for my actions. I will smother you in untruths, layer lie upon lie, Literally It’s Engulfing you in falsehood so that you no longer even recognise the truth, such is the level of distortion. We lie to everyone. The man in the corner shop about how many goals we scored at football, lies at work to cover our backs and to plunge knives into the backs of others. Lies to a friend about how much we like him just to keep the Little Idiot Entertained. Repeatedly we will lie to you to ensure you remain Locked In Entanglement with us and cannot escape. We use lies to express our false sorrow, our faux remorse and our promises to change just so you will not Leave In Earnest. We show-off with lies in a crowd to bring the spotlight back on to us as we talk over other people because we Like Interrupting Everyone. The lie is a Limitless Invigorating Example of what we really are. A fraudster, a charlatan, a con-man and a pathological liar. We know no other way and we have no desire to embrace any other way. I will always lie, I am Loving It Everyday because it furthers my schemes, underpins my ambitions, avoids accountability and brings me fuel again and again.

I am always telling lies.

And that’s the only truth.

31 thoughts on “Lies

  1. no says:


  2. Anm says:

    Hg, I thought trump was a greater, no?

    1. HG Tudor says:


      1. Lou says:

        But Martin L Gore is one (a greater). Yes?

        1. HG Tudor says:


    2. MB says:

      Anm, I love you but that made me laugh. That man is an utter idiot. One of these days, I fully expect him to say to a world leader, “na, na, na boo boo stick your head in doo doo”. I watched the debates when he was running for election solely for their entertainment value. I was expecting one of his replies to Hillary to be. “I know I am, but what are you.” Or “your mama!” Don’t get me wrong, I like some of his ideas and he has made some positive changes and the US economy is doing very well. That wall is the dumbest shit I’ve ever heard of however. I don’t mean to be unpatriotic, but as an American, it embarrasses me that he represents us to the world. I wish he had more couth.

  3. Jane hall says:

    Yes – Truth is used when it can hurt
    “You are so fat now you had the baby, its revolting” (when you just literally gave birth)

    “I hate your dad, he is a wanker” because he knows how your dad was such a good dad to you and saying evil things about him HURTS

    “I prefer women with clothes on to be honest”! said years ago. LOL then I found out how addicted he is to porn!

    “I am just letting you know – when I went on that work course, I had to share a room with a female, there was no other room available. I slept on the settee, I did see her in her underwear but nothing happened, would never happen because I love you so much and would never cheat on you”. Said years ago.

    “I will never forgive her” said about his little daughter when she was born premature. and in deed that was truth, he made her his scrapegoat.

    “I hate your family, hate this house” True. He did hate.

    “No I did not say I did not say You are not nice, I said you don’t act nice” said to his daughter when she challenged him in front of me.

    “I had this amazing experience, God literally filled my heart with peace, I was going to harm myself, I couldn’t take anymore, then God just covered me with his peace, I want to go to church, I want to get baptised, God has changed me” This said when we split up few years back and yes I gave him another chance.

    (Two years later after seeing the light)
    “Why don’t you F….ing listen!!! Park the F ing car in that spot, you make me so F inng angry” Me – “You shouldn’t speak like that you are meant to be a Christian” Him – ” well that’s a load of bullshit”

    Free from the mind games. At last

  4. Kathleen says:

    Another all time classic essay! Lies of all types are at the root of all narc behavior! If a relationship starts with lies – it’ll end with lies. Mine started with lies and triangulation- and that’s exactly how it ended.

  5. nunya biz says:

    A Big Fish challenge. It’s a pattern, I only really bond with these people, hard to find and yet it is. The mother gaslights like mad or is entirely absent. The father is the man from The Big Fish. He lives a lie. What kind of narcissist is he? I don’t identify him in your writing. My father is in this category. He thinks he is doing things that he entirely isn’t. Quite congenial. Not funny at all. Have you seen the movie?

    1. HG Tudor says:

      But did he actually lie? I thought his supposedly tall tales turned out to be true.

      1. nunya says:

        Ha ok then I guess it isn’t a challenging question if it’s wrong, but let’s say it wasn’t? I was wondering about it, like what would you call that guy who always weaves his own story and maybe is loud. I know one who also has a temper. What about Trump actually?

        1. HG Tudor says:

          Likely to be a Lesser. Trump is Upper Lesser.

      2. nunya biz says:

        I think I got it, HG, was leaning toward “victim” and looked at your POTUS post.

  6. Leigh says:

    I found most of the lies with my narcissist were those of misdirection and omission. But since My craeeer is actually in research , and that’s what I’m good at , I never truly believed what he was telling me. I figured him out and escaped after three months. So I’m not playing his twisted game. Let him ruin someone else life.

  7. Sandra says:

    Some of the lies are truths. He lies accusing me of something. But the very thing I am being accused of is what he is doing or has done.

  8. analise13 says:

    Lies of negation or misdirection, perhaps.
    Often narcissists, believe their own lies as truth,
    so also self deluding lies.
    Best for one to read between the lines/ lies to find the truth.
    Sometimes, the truth is disguised or masked like the narcissist.
    I have read much truth here.

  9. Em says:

    He lied about everything, even where a friend lived. An IPSS. Even not being on whatsapp when he was. Even when he’s on the phone talking – where his location is.

  10. JustEmpath says:


    Why a narcissist during the relationship with IPPS or IPSS asks his partner strange questions like:
    – it seems you no longer want to cuddle after sex. Why? And how is it possible, don’t you feel the need to lay down together looking at each other eyes…? You are so cold and unemotional sometimes, detached.
    – remember how it was in the beginning? which was the moment you felt you are in love with me?
    – how do you feel about us, in the future? Do you have any deadline for this relationship or would you see yourself with me till the death?
    – why you didn’t tell your parents you spend the night with me? You should tell them, it is stupid that you hide the fact you are at yours partner’s place.

    He asked me these questions just before or in the early stages of dwvaluation I think. I never knew why he asks it, I felt it was a kind of probing how much in love I am but I never knew what answear he wanted to get. It felt like in the lab, like a cold test, so he could calculate his next moves.

    Could you give me any insight on this? Thank you.

    1. HG Tudor says:

      All forms of provocation to gain fuel.

  11. Rachel says:

    I think he even lied about his age, I think he’s 2 years older than he told me. And it was a mystery to me why someone would do that, I mean, 2 years, why? Probably because he can. Haha! It’s ridiculous.

  12. Aya Pi says:

    This is Lucidly Insightfully Enlightening. Brilliant.

  13. nunya biz says:

    Except here, HG?

    1. HG Tudor says:


      1. no says:

        do not believe you

        1. HG Tudor says:

          Your belief is immaterial. The evidence speaks for itself.

          1. ....o.... says:

            Sorry ,it was a joke as on this blog it seems you do tell the truth.
            Selfworth is important. Thank you for all your help and truths :).

      2. nunya biz says:

        Ha, I prefer to see it as a mutual benefit situation, but the benefit from my point of view is much appreciated. Some mixture of relief (that’s a big deal), comprehension, education, self-awareness, and tools to use in the future (for identification and handling). I am not only dealing with men, obviously the occasional female comes along. I feel a little more confident about maybe intentionally limiting emotional energy range (and why and what that signals exactly) and maybe limiting expressions of humility. I realize though that I enjoy expressing some funny humility sometimes because I can very easily get a sense of who I will get along with depending on their response, like do they immediately try to get a leg up? What do they do with it?

        In the past I had developed some basic tools for myself based purely on instinct, experience and intuition and I have to say I’d done some decent work. But having things be even more conscious is a big help. There’s always something going on though and I do think I invite a certain kind of energy somehow and it is important to me to understand it.

      3. Lori says:

        I don’t think Narcissists lie all the time sometimes the truth works equally well or if not better. It’s all about what will serve them best and sometimes that’s the truth.

        HG has no reason or need to lie here. The truth is serving him well here in fsct I think lying here would defeat his purpose. This is a case where the truth is better than lies

        1. HG Tudor says:


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