You Were Warned

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“You know you really shouldn’t get involved with me you know, I am damaged.”

“Well, it is a little bit late for that isn’t it? I am already involved.”

“I know and I am glad to hear you tell me that, really I am, because I want you more than anything. I have not wanted anybody else in the way I want you but it is because of that I think you would be better off without me.”

“Don’t be silly, what do you mean by that?”

“You are so wonderful, so perfect. I truly have not met anyone like you. It is as if everything I have ever wanted and needed in somebody has been put together and rolled into one.”

“That is lovely of you to say, but I am not perfect, far from it.”

“To me you are.”

“Bless you, that is so sweet. I think you are wonderful too, not at all damaged. I cannot believe you said that.”

“Well I am.”

“Not from where I am sitting. You are incredible. Thoughtful, loving, attentive, interesting, sensual and so passionate. Those are just a few of the things that spring to mind when I think about you.”

“What else?”

“Oh let me see. Generous, yes generous and kind, considerate and successful. Entertaining as well. I don’t think I know anybody who can light up a room like you do. I love to watch you when you have everyone’s attention, I can see how much they love to listen to you.”

“Oh you are just saying those things to make me feel better.”

“No not at all, I mean every word, I really do. I have not met anyone as special as you and that is why I love you as I do.”

“You shouldn’t, I don’t mean to be rude, but you will only get hurt.”

“How? By you?”

“Yes.”

“How?”

“I don’t know; I just always seem to mess things up. It may sound strange but somehow I want to think, I mean, I kind of know it should work with you, with you more than anybody else, I suppose I am just terrified that what we have is so wonderful, so perfect that I might do something to ruin it and then you would be hurt and I could not stand for that to happen.”

“You see, there you are again, considerate and kind.”

“I could not live with myself if I hurt you and I just do not want to run that risk of that happening. You do not deserve to be hurt.”

“That won’t happen, I can feel it. What you and I have is something out of the ordinary.”

“Yes we have haven’t we?”

“Absolutely. I love you and you love me and nobody is going to change that.”

“I know, I know, but what if, you know I do something?”

“Like what?”

“I don’t know, it is just that well, previous relationships have not exactly been successful have they? My track record is not great.”

“No but that wasn’t your fault was it? Look, you told me all about what has happened in the past. Not many men would be so honest as you to admit to what you have gone through. That takes real courage and is typical of the honesty and decency you exude. You are a good man and you have been treated abhorrently by some wicked people. Oooh, if I ever met them, I don’t know what I would do.”

“I knew you would understand. You always do. You get me. They never did you see. I tried you know. I always tried to make it work. I just wanted both of us to be happy but you know when whatever you do is not enough? When no matter how hard you try to please somebody but they always find some kind of fault? That was them. They made me feel like it was my fault a lot of the time. They had that way of twisting everything around so I was made out to be the villain. It is hard to explain it, but that is what they did.”

“I understand. There are some people who just delight in the misery of other people but that is not going to happen with you and me.”

“No?”

“No. We have both suffered previously.”

“I know. That is why I do not want to hurt you, you have had enough from the past and you deserve to be treated properly.”

“Well that is what you do. I could not ask for a better boyfriend, I really could not. You put me first, ahead of everything and you do so much for me. I really do appreciate it and each day I feel more in love with you because of what you do for me.”

“Thank you. That is all I want. Both of us to be happy. I think it must just be because of what has happened in the past, I am worried that this time, having found you, it will go wrong again and you will be hurt and I could not live with that.”

“Honestly, there is nothing to worry about. You have just been made to feel like this because of what they have done to you. It is understandable. I know you won’t hurt me. How could anyone who says the things you say to me ever hurt me? I have never had someone say the wonderful and beautiful things you say to me before. You leave me in tears. Tears of happiness admittedly because you just know what to say, you understand me.”

“Yes. There is a connection and it is deep and meaningful and I do not want that ever to be severed. I will fight to my dying breath to stay connected to you. I want to become you.”

“See, there you go again, saying the most wonderful things.”

“You bring it out in me. If it wasn’t for you I don’t know what I would do.”

“Well you don’t have to wonder do you? You’ve got me and you always will have.”

“Do you mean that?”

“Absolutely.”

“You see I am really in heaven every time we kiss. I don’t ever want to hurt you or lose you.”

“That will never happen. You have me forever.”

“I hope so, I really do.”

“You do. Now, let’s not have any more talk about you hurting me, that isn’t going to happen. We have the rest of our lives to be together and be happy. Let me get another bottle of wine, no, it is my turn, you stay there. You do enough running around after me, let me do something for you for a change.”

“Okay, same again please.”

“Coming right up. I love you.”

“I love you too.”

Listen to ‘You Were Warned’

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22 thoughts on “You Were Warned”

    1. Lack of accountability at a later juncture – ‘I Told You Do’ and the reinforcement of superiority – ‘I warned you and you still fell for it.’

  1. Dear Mr Tudor,
    The weasel “warned” me …. told me he wasn’t “normal”
    “People seem to hate me and I don’t know why”

    Told me a lot of things
    I chose not to listen and went down the “fix it” road

    BIG BIG MISTAKE ….NEVER AGAIN

    Now I listen

    ENORMOUS RED FLAG ….. HUGE
    THEY ACTUALLY WARN US
    PAY ATTENTION … PLEASE

    One of your best Mr Tudor
    Thank you
    Luv Bubbles xx

  2. HG, what do you think about the attraction between the NPD man and a histrionic woman? Is there the attraction and potential for highly satisfying relationship for both sides?

  3. “Yes. There is a connection and it is deep and meaningful and I do not want that ever to be severed. I will fight to my dying breath to stay connected to you. I want to become you.”

    This sounds exactly like what my MRN used to say to me minus the sentence about wanting to become me and fighting to stay connected to me.

    He did however tell me that he would “die before he left his wife” and he reacts like a “coiled snake” if anything ever threatened his family. (aka: anyone finding out about him and me)

    The “connected to you” comment I heard a few times when he wanted intimacy with me. He would say “I cannot take it anymore, I need to be inside you. I need to be connected to you”.

    I am trying not to overthink all of this but I am overthinking it anyway.

    1. FOTS, I wanna give you a big hug. I’m so sorry you have such a struggle to get this guy off your mind and I understand why. Also I’d like to apologize for coming on strong to you last year, telling you to ‘just’ go NC. It’s damn difficult (but it’s still the best thing to do). Love, Blank xx

      1. Hi Blank,
        I do not recall you coming on strong to me with any comments. I know several people here did but honestly I cannot recall the screen names. So that being said I wanted to reply and let you know that it is okay and I am not concerned or upset over it in any way.

        Yes, it is a never-ending struggle to get Saint Piano MRN out of my mind. HG’s postings are helpful and I am reading and asking questions as much as I can however certain words or sentences, phrases, examples, whatnot, that HG posts tend to either trip a memory in my head, or make me remember and/or recall/connect a point. And many times it is a painful tidal wave.

      2. FOTS

        Is anyone helping you professionally? God I hate this asshole he’s got you so addicted.

        Are you taking any steps toward ridding yourself of him? I hate to see you wasting precious years of your life on such on dirt bag that you will never have

        Regardless of anything he says, he feels nothing for you and there are likely several of you

      3. FOTS, I’m glad you aren’t upset. I understand the memory trips, everything you read here reminds you of something. Therefore I was considering to stop reading, but when I do that I seem to ‘forget’ and I’ll be hoovered way more easily than when I’m being reminded here. Wish you luck FOTS, I really hope you will manage to get mr. piano man off your mind soon. xx

  4. Can I ask a question HG?

    I’m researching Ted Bundy and some of the things you’ve shared are identical to him, for example socks, ego, charismatic, charming, many women conquests, law knowledge, psychology and an interest in human behaviour, groupies of female fans, killing, likeable, intelligent, a dire need to leave a legacy.

    Are you imitating him minus the killings of women?
    Are you mirroring his behaviours to become notorious in your own right in terms of empowering vulnerable women rather than murder them?

    Genuine question.

      1. I expected you to say that being a Psychopath.
        You’ve taught me well about predictability 🙂

        You lead, and do not follow…. contradictory because you mirror and copy by instinct. Your kind steal traits from others and pass them off as your own.
        Is this your ego thinking out loud?

        I am honestly interested.

      2. This is interesting to me in that psychopaths seem to think they are unique but how can they be unique when they all have the same pattern in behavior so much so that there is a name and a diagnosable condition for it because they all behave the same ?

        It seems that it would mitigate and uniqueness

  5. I like the look on this guy’s face… haha. It is cute with the eyes that way.

    The last one I was with told me many times that he “was broken”. It made me want to fix him, and love him even more. I didn’t know, at the time, that it was a toxic situation.

    Yes, he was broken in the way that he had to kick me around in the worst of ways in order to feel better about himself. I thought that because he “admitted” to his brokenness it meant that he was “real” and sincere.

    Ya, I was wrong.

  6. Yep they always tell you

    Narc 1 middle mid ranger “I’m a good person just a little damaged”

    Narc 2 middle lesse ” I am an asshole” “I know o have anger issues”

  7. It’s uncanny to read this….I was told this word for word. And also ….” At work they think I’m an asshole.” And ” My kids think I have male entitlement.:” Meanwhile cue me saying…”No…you’re so sweet and loving…How could anyone think that?!” Face palm in retrospect!

  8. “You know you really shouldn’t get involved with me you know, I am damaged.”

    “Well, it is a little bit late for that isn’t it? I am already involved.”

    “I know and I am glad to hear you tell me that, really I am, because I want you more than anything. I have not wanted anybody else in the way I want you but it is because of that I think you would be better off without me.”

    “Wait a second…. I’ve heard this before somewhere……..I believe you. As gorgeous and charming as you are, I’m going to take you at your word on this one. You see, I’ve already had these words spoken to me before, and I didn’t listen then. This is the only truth you will ever be able to give me. I thank you for it.

    Bye bye.”

  9. This reads like those Nigerian prince scams. They’re purposefully made transparent so the con artists behind them don’t have to waste their time on people who aren’t susceptible to the con.

    That doesn’t mean any victims of any cons deserve it in any way. They don’t. But it’s good to be as wary of someone who tells you you’re perfect and pulls this love bombing grossness on you as you would be of someone claiming to be a prince from a distant land who has chosen you specifically out of all the options. Actually, it’s pretty much the same idea, isn’t it? The same kind of creepy flattery.

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