Seven Lies For Seven Others

SEVEN LIES

 

The lies we tell with reference to other people.

  1. She is just a friend

 

Oh no she is not. Whilst it is entirely the case that we will have friends, both in the inner and outer circles who are of the opposite sex, you should be aware that whilst that may be their current status, in terms of their ability to provide us with fuel, they once had a different status. The key word here is “just”. We say this to emphasise that this person is a friend and nothing more so don’t think you can pin any blame on us. The reality is that this person was once an intimate partner and has been demoted to a friend but is very much still in play. We keep them hanging on in the hope that they believe they will be reinstated and thus they keep providing us with fuel. Secondly, she will be used to triangulate with you both now as friend v you as intimate partner and later as reinstated intimate partner v you as discarded intimate partner. She will be keen to usurp you because she wants us again. She wants the golden period again. She is the competition and we encourage it.

  1. She’s just a friend, again.

 Look who is back? Actually she is not, she is someone else but she fits in the mould of being described as “just a friend” to you in order to deflect those accusing looks you are giving us. Once again this person will be an inner or outer circle friends, maybe “just” an acquaintance but we have plans for her. This is your replacement who we are busy seducing, as we once did with you. This is the person who will be providing us with fresh and invigorating fuel after we have cast you down from your pedestal. It is coming, believe me. This is the competition. Again.

 

  1. I am so proud of my son/daughter

I am a high achiever and I expect my children to follow in my foot-steps, after all, they are just a part of me, extensions of me and I expect them to do as I desire, rather than find their own way in life. I will push them to succeed at school, in sports, with music and so forth because their achievements are actually my achievements. My son graduated with honours; he gets his brains from me. My daughter won the county athletic championships; I was always an excellent runner. Those achievements are down to me and I will take all of the credit for them , pulling the spotlight away from them and onto me where it belongs. I am not proud of them at all. I am proud of myself.

  1. She abused me

Your predecessor was a horrible person. I did everything that I could for her. Everything. I gave my all for our relationship and how was I repaid? Lies, control and abuse. She stopped me seeing my friends, stole money from me, told lies to my boss so I lost my job, hit me and made my life an absolute misery. I escaped her and she came after me because she cannot ever let me go. She will always want to cause me problems. She seems to thrive on it. There is clearly something very wrong with her since she behaves in this way. If you ever meet her, watch out, she will tell you all manner of lies about me. Don’t believe anything she says, she is evil, pure evil.

Did I mean my ex? I was talking to myself again there.

  1. He is a close and personal friend

Yes that famous actor over there. Do you see him? Yes, that’s him. He is a close and personal friend of mine. I have known him for years. He thinks I am great. We have such a great time together. Of course he is often busy so we do not see as much of one another as we would both like, but when we do, boy do we have a fantastic time. I could tell you a few stories about him, but of course I won’t, I am the model of discretion you see. We met at a film premiere some years ago, I forgot which one precisely, but we hit it off straight away. I always do with people, I am just a people person really, great at connecting with people. I know quite a few famous people to be honest but I do not like to talk about it too much. Will I go and say hello? Of course, he will be probably come over to talk to me in a minute after he has spoken to his fans. He likes to get his obligations out of the way before talking to his real friends. Let me tell you about some other famous people I am friends with whilst we are waiting.

  1. My family are trouble

It is a terrible fact but my family are trouble. I wish it was not the case. I wish they were more like yours. You seem to have such a good relationship with your parents and your brother. I don’t have that with mine. It is all down to jealousy you see. Terrible isn’t it? Do feel free to feel sorry for me. Good, thank you. Yes, I have always been the achiever of the family and for some reason, rather than support me and praise me for my endeavours I get nothing but insults, cold shoulders and nastiness. No matter how hard I try, no matter what I do, it is always the same. I get no recognition for the sacrifices I make. I get no understanding or compassion because they are all self-obsessed, too busy screaming “Look at me” to care about me. I haven’t had it easy you know? I may appear successful and brilliant but it has been a tough slog to the top and they have not helped one bit. I hate them. I know I shouldn’t say that about them but you would say the same if you had been treated the way I had. I am afraid you will have to meet them at some point, they will seem all sweetness and light at first, but don’t be fooled. They are evil underneath.

  1. He is a liar

Him? Oh we were once really good friends but not anymore, not after what he did to me. I lent him some money, quite a lot actually. He had hit a difficult time with his job and this meant that his bills were not being paid, at least that is what he told me. I later found out he had gambling debts and rather than use the money I lent him to clear those debts. I would not have minded to be honest, he went and gambled it away and made the debt larger. He came back with some sob story about needing the money for a medical bill and me being the caring fool I am was taken in. What did he really want it for? Oh you guessed it, more gambling. I am such an idiot but I cannot help but try and help people out. I had to say no to him after that and do you know what his response was? Rather than understand and be thankful for all the help that I have given him, he starts telling people that I am the one who owes him money. Can you believe it? That’s why I have nothing to do with him. He lies all the time so watch out as he is bound to try and turn you against me. Thank goodness I got to you first.

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5 thoughts on “Seven Lies For Seven Others”

  1. The month before the narc moved he told his DLS he was meeting friends out. He posted a picture of him with his ex, left it up for awhile then deleted it. His DLS was furious. He mentioned the she’s just a friend line and then told her how awful the evening was, it was a mistake to see her because all they did was fight.

    Four months later the DLS heard through the grapevine that the ex was flying out to see him. He blame shifted to the ex saying he didn’t invite her out she called him out of the blue decided to come on her own. Come to find out he actually paid the ex’s way, and was trying to get her to move out with him. He was also trying to get the DLS to move out too.

    The DLS told me once he played mind games with his exes via Facebook.

    We threw him a good bye party and (I’m not sure how many but at least two) some of his exes were actually there. They warned the DLS that “once he’s gone, he’s gone”. How gone can he actually be if he has ex girlfriends at his party? With their husband no less.

  2. My ex- therapist called me today to “check” on me to see if I had “calmed down”…. aka… Hoovering me.

    I got immediately pissed off when she evaluated my reaction using the term “calm down”. Who is she to tell me what I am feeling?

    That feeling that she was patronizing me as if she could keep such self control as my “superior” got me determined to wound her… oh yes! So, there I went…let’s see how much she can take before she implodes (she is a narcissist herself).

    I asked her to define “calm down”. She deflected and ignored my feelings. Instead, she wanted clarification about what I had said regarding getting help from this narcissist.

    Ah! So that is where the wound was, huh? 😈 I was getting help from a narcissist and not her.

    When I dumped her and got my money back, I told her that I was getting the help I needed from a narcissist himself. She thought I was “just” mad aiming at hurting her feelings. (Recognizing the wound).

    I told her that it is no lie. I am receiving help from a narcissist, maybe a sociopath or psychopath which makes more exciting than just a narcissist.

    Anyways, he is the one who is telling me all that I need to know about my loser ex boyfriend. Consequently I found out the truth about my mom, grandmother, father, and some “other” people I have had contact recently.

    I threw the hook and she bit it.
    She asked who is the other person I have had contact lately that is a narcissist.

    I said: YOU.

    She laughed, so did I.
    We were both laughing but her voice was cracking up as if someone who is struggling to keep self control.
    When she spoke again her voice was quivering like the voice of someone who is standing outside in the cold.
    She was truly struggling to keep herself together.

    She asked if the narc is a male or a female. I said: male.

    She started making weird noises as if she was choking, her voice breaking up into different tones, going from high pitches to lower ones.

    So I continued, oh yes, that’s right! He is a male, and apparently a very attractive one too.

    A male?
    I said OH, y.e.s. If you know what I mean.

    She tried to ignore the insinuation but her reaction… her malice broke through and I realized that she is a lesbian.

    She said: a male??? How reductive of you, Kathy.

    I said: you think so?
    I think it is a major plus. Males have the natural tools that, you know, do the trick. I am not a strap on kind of girl.

    Silence.

    She didn’t believe me. She recomposed and said she didn’t believe me.

    Really? How about terms as IPPS? Hoover? Gaslighting? Disengagement? Love-bombing?

    Oh by the way, last talk about disengagement for a second here.

    Remember when my ex disappeared for 02 months and YOU told me to not be clingy and give him space?????

    Or when he gave me the silent treatment over shit that I had no clue I had done wrong and you called me sensitive?

    Or the fact that I should put the cheating behind, forgive him, and begin ALL OVER AGAIN?

    She accused me of wanting the relationship. It was not her fault.

    I said: fuck yes!!! It is a fucking addiction and you help me to get more of it so you could get my money too.

    She got quiet. A weird “compact” silence, like the calm before the storm.

    From semi composed, her voice broke and switched into a higher pitch that sounded like the creature was in the process of becoming possessed.

    What is his name? Do I know him?

    I said… nope.

    What is his name??

    Oh I am not going to tell you.

    WHAT IS HIS NAME?
    I am not going to tell you.

    WHAT IS HIS NAME?????????
    I am not going to tell you.

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