The Futility of Your Feeling

Feelings are an unnecessary burden and thankfully I have been relieved of many of them, being left only with those which are deemed necessary to enable me to pursue the harvesting of fuel. Feelings blur and weaken. How many times have you heard your alarm go off in the morning and you have rolled over feeling like you do not want to get up? Many times I should imagine. That feeling of apprehension about what the day holds for you, despondency at what has happened to you and dread about what you have to do weakens you and holds you back. You spend much of your life in the pursuit of this notion of happiness but are you ever truly happy? Do you look at what you have and wish you had more? Do you look at other people around you and imagine how happy they must be and you wish that you were more like them? All you achieve is bitterness. Perhaps you do feel happy but as the empath that you are you see those who you regard as less happy than you and you wish that they could be more like you. All you achieve is vanity. You spend so much of your time seeking to be happy and then you worry about whether it is fleeting in nature. You express concern that you just want to be happy and spend more and more time trying to achieve this state of nirvana. You suffer from feeling sadness which leads to paralysis and indecision. You feel frustrated which sucks up your energy and leaves you feeling spent. You take pride in your ability to feel and to be able to feel on behalf of others yet all you are doing is allowing yourself to be burdened. Why bother pursuing those feelings which are regarded as positive, such as joy, happiness and elation? Is the effort truly worth it when you get there only for it to be a fleeting moment which then casts you into despondency? What was the point of that? Why allow yourself to be mired in upset, misery and dejection? You achieve nothing as you slowly sink into a quagmire of such negativity. Your feelings deceive you, press down on you and above all else allow us to manipulate you. It is because you feel this array of emotions that you provide us with emotional reactions. Of course you know that these emotional reactions create my fuel. Your feelings are to blame.

I never acquired these feelings. This is because the pursuit of fuel cannot be distracted by these cumbersome emotions. They serve no purpose and thus were never developed. I am built for the acquisition of fuel and nothing else. I am an efficient design, single-minded and driven. All excess baggage was not jettisoned, it was never stowed on board to begin with. I am not wholly without feelings. I have been developed in a way to allow certain feelings, those that aid my purpose, to come to the fore. I feel fury which ensures that I can exert control over other people and thus extract fuel from them. I feel envy which drives me on to strip away those traits from other people which I need to create my construct. If I felt no envy, I would not want these characteristics – thus this feeling serves a purpose. There is no superfluous feeling connected with me. I feel jealousy which again causes me to strive to better that person by lauding my own achievements and prompting a reaction which garners positive fuel or by berating the person of whom I am jealous and thus I harvest negative fuel. I feel hatred. This allows me to see everything as it truly is. Hatred hones and brings into sharp focus the reality of this cruel world and thus I am better able to navigate my way through it. Hatred is visceral, it is not fluffy or amorphous. It does not cloud or blur. It is direct, straight to the point and electrifying in its capacity to allow me to always go forward. All of these feelings and ones of a similar nature have been fashioned around me to assist me in my quest for fuel. Each one discharges a method of enabling me to gather fuel so that I can feel the ultimate emotion. My pursuit of fuel is predicated on the use of these various emotions with the sole purpose of allowing me to feel that emotion which I prize above all others.

I feel powerful.

I am powerful.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

  1. I found myself mentally nodding to the first part of the article. Uncultivated emotional skills do just that – drag us into a quagmire of excessive feelings.

    As for the second part… I understand your position, HG, as you really have no other choice but to adopt it and protect it with everything you have.

    I personally find that emotions are a useful faculty to possess, as long as one learns to cultivate them. It’s rather futile to talk about control over emotions… our emotional landscape is like a garden that needs to be tended if we want to maintain some sort of control over what grows on it. I like the diversity of having many emotions. I like the challenge of handling them – it sometimes gives me a thrill as if I was, not taming, but handling a wild and powerful beast.

    I don’t think that discarding the majority of emotions makes you stronger overall – it makes you more specified and thus stronger in those areas you focus on/are limited to.

  2. Of all the creatures in the sea, you’d be a shark, a great white at that. You have to constantly swim and move or you will die. Your only purpose is to consume others, you keep the fish population down. You think all the other beautiful, majestic, colorful fish are just weak because you’re at the top of the food chain. You don’t just have a set of pointy teeth, you have two rows of them. If per chance you get gutted one day after a long, efficient life, what will spill out- a human leg, a license plate, bottles, tires – regular trash collector keeping things clean and picked up. Meanwhile the dolphins and whales spent their time playfully doing flips, talking, making sounds, singing, having families, not efficient, but happy.

    • kelfairly
      The great white shark (Carcharodon carcharias). Terrifying and beautiful at the same time. Mother nature at her finest.

  3. … ok, but you have to admit HG, us empaths are rarely ever feeling bored, which I understand, and have read, that ppl with NPD very often are.
    I mean e g I can read a book for hours, occupied with feelings, pulse raised, not needing to do something new. Or playing that old jazz piano tune I’ve heard so many times before. Gets me in that familiar mood. Or just listen to a person talk. Or appaled Or euphoric Pondering
    I let myself get fooled from time to time, yes, but I believe competitive jealous ppl to be rather envious of our Nonjealousy: We are quite often relaxed.

  4. I think about this when I go to sleep . I’m fortunate ….we could have been born anywhere to anybody . I am here and content.

    • I didn’t finish …others said it better. But, my feelings of gratefulness because I have a warm bed and my blankets smell so pure and clean …I have a roof over my head and warm . I am not under a bridge and freezing to death. I feel the pain of homelessness ….deeply.

  5. The narcissist and the co-dependent empath are so much alike. I draw my approval from work. It is the only place I make an “A” in this world. “This looks great!” “Thank you so much!” “You’re amazing”. If I go home from work feeling words of affirmation then I am “okay”. If not, I fear I am “in trouble”. It’s exhausting.

    While currently not in a relationship with a narc or anyone else, I still have a long way to go in other areas. I seek approval from those I perceive in power. I talk to myself about this frequently and attempt to realistically know my work is not my worth. But then I wake up again and start over.

    HG, don’t empaths seek fuel, too, only a different kind, less outwardly destructive kind? My approval or fuel seeking is harmful to myself. The narcs fuel is harmful to himself and others.

    Am I off base?

      • It looks like a parallel: empaths seek positive fuel. We need to please others to feel useful/happy. If the ppl around us are discomforted, we feel angsty, and try to appease the discomforted (so that we can feel at ease). There is always positive fuel at the goalpost for the empath, too. Their happiness is incomplete without your happiness.

        Burdensome? Extremely. It’s exhausting. Further, when the narc is annoyed and overreacting to ppl around him (the kids, coworkers, social network), we have the extra task of making nice with those offended by him, apologizing for his behavior (and words, if possible). But, until he is calm and settled, we are not calm and settled. Our positive fuel is only delivered when he has been fuelled.

        Maligns are different to me, as they enjoy negative fuel. Part of me feels compelled to jump in and spar, but I can only push the smallest buttons, bc their retribution is beyond my tolerance. The escalation is palpable. I like feeling their panic, but they do panic… Leading to over-the-top vengeance beyond my comprehension. Backing away is HARD, when we can see objectively what we’re dealing with (thank you, HG), and our sense of justice longs to crush their construct…

        I continue to be blown away by how patterned/predictable their behaviors are. Your insights are spot-on. Every time I hear a line from a narc in front of me, which seems to come verbatim from your books, I wonder how it’s possible that a whole subset of humans can be programmed with the same moves and reactions. And when I am two steps ahead of them? They utterly dissolve. It’s crazy. And they immediately begin to spout that I am crazy. Predictably.

        Do you agree that everyone seeks fuel, be they empathic or narcissistic, or somewhere in-between?

      • Codepebdents can stand periods of time alone but I find most after extended periods of time alone they become depressed. Why ? Cause no one is reflecting back or reinforcing their self worth and they can’t generate it on their own

    • I have to respectfully disagree HG, I think the Codepebdent does in fact seek fuel. Approval, praise, affirmations are all fuel to a Codepebdent. Watch a Codependent receive praise and you will immediately see a kilt of energy in them. A true “normal” may not seek “fuel” but anyone that looks outside of themselves for self worth is going to say they need what you deem “fuel

  6. It’s interesting that you think this is the life of a non-narcissist, but it’s a warped view of people.

  7. I rarely disagree with anything you write HG but I did not identify with most of this. I do not seek happiness like a narcissist seeks fuel. Happiness lives inside of me because of my gratitude towards life, the people I love and the way I choose to live. Even in my lowest moods I can have a conversation with one of my kids or my friends and genuinely feel joy.

    The narcissist/empath relationship is the only exception. Happiness with the narcissist is not real happiness in my opinion. It’s relief (he isn’t focusing his abuse on me today) disguised as happiness. Maybe that is why you feel we are seeking it. Because in a narc/empath relationship the narc is always trying to control our happiness.

    • Mercy,

      You wrote: “Happiness with the narcissist is not real happiness in my opinion. It’s relief (he isn’t focusing his abuse on me today) disguised as happiness.”

      Your words really ring true for me. THIS. This is why at moments I feel like I’m happy in my marriage. If he actually wants sex with me and is gentle and patient with me and our dog, I perceive that as happiness. It’s relief. That’s all it is. It can last for hours, weeks, months even but it will always shift back when I disappoint him (or when he has a bad week at work). Even when I feel “happy” and am smiling and laughing, there’s always a part of me that knows it’s fleeting.

      Mary

  8. So a somatic I know fractured his penis while cheating on his wife while she was out of town… He lies easily enough to escape question, but oh can you imagine his inner beast right now? He can’t function, or prowl…

    • Becoming Observant,

      I guess I’m not very sympathetic today, because the fractured penis post made me laugh about his likely frustration instead of cringing at the thought of his pain, my usual first response.

      • Persephone
        The fractured penis made me laugh, too. My first thought was a stupid joke that my boys might have said in high school. “He fractured his penis? He must have had a boner!”

        My grandmother knew a man who carried his pistol in his belt without a holster and accidentally shot thru his penis. No man in our family ever shoved his gun in his belt after that!

      • I know… He was so intent on keeping it a secret, he lied to the ER docs about how it happened, and it wasn’t properly diagnosed for weeks. With VA insurance, it will be months before surgery happens. He may never be the same, it may not be fixable.

        He may need to develop a new skill set to gain admiration.

  9. While I see and understand your point, HG, it’s not always valid. It may seem to you that we all are pursuing happiness that eludes us or is fleeting, that is not always true. That’s more the happiness that comes from doing things or possessing things and that type of happiness is very transitory.

    But there is a happiness and joy that comes from just existing – just being. Anywhere I am, no matter the circumstances, I can feel that happiness. Sometimes it’s easier than others, but I can always tap into it, pull it into me and project it outward. Right now I’m sitting in a hospital waiting room for a few hours, yet still my soul is full of happiness and aware of many sources of beauty around me.

    My happiness and joy does not just last a fleeting moment then me be cast into despondency. Rather it is an endless string of joyful observations- sounds, smells, colors, textures, encounters with the living and the non-living. Even while encountering sadness and tragedy I am aware of the beauty and joyful things around me. Just as there is always something to be grateful for, there is always something to be happy about. We just have to open our awareness to it.

    You feel powerful. But you have to work to stay that way, gathering fuel, staying above everyone else. I live my life in awe of the wonders around me. I don’t have to worry about losing this or work to keep it. All I have to do is keep my awareness open. I wouldn’t trade this for anything.

    • Windstorm

      ❤️🌹
      Strangely enough I’ve been reading and learning about living in the moment. You are living proof that this is achievable.
      I know it is but I have to keep remembering.
      I’d like to become more like you.. and just be and not keep forgetting..sliding into unnecessary thoughts that steal peace away. Anxiety etc.
      I loved reading your post.

      • Thank you DebbieWolf. That was very kind! ❤️

        It is very hard to stay in the moment. Our minds fight against it, planning out futures that may never be and reliving pasts we can not change. Everything that’s real, though, like true joy and happiness, is in the present moment. The more we can live in this moment right now, the simpler and more fulfilling life is.

        Dont give up. Ive literally spent decades trying to relearn this skill that every newborn baby knows instinctively. Lol!
        It will finally begin to be automatic if you keep practicing. 😊

      • Windstorm

        Yes..the information I came across was saying that we know this as a child just like you’re saying about how a newborn is.

        I read something else that said the past doesn’t exist and the future doesn’t exist all there is is now..I’ve often thought this and said this myself but it is different putting it into practice than just hearing the words!

        This teacher that I’ve come across was also saying how to not miss somebody and it comes along the lines of all this kind of thing… He teaches of how to manage different situations in life like how to not miss somebody etc.or grief..break ups..lots of things..anxiety and stress.

        Posing certain questions so that when you answer them it virtually shows you that you do not miss the person at all…not really, because in the case of narcissism or abuse it would beball the horror coming back with the tiny bit of good.. Goes on and elaborates on how that can extend into living in the moment and it is like you describe.
        Like one logical thought leading to another
        And how this can ultimately lead to peace of mind. By an awareness and being open to the steps… Which really are a couple of simple answers that you come up with yourself when you ask yourself particular questions.
        Like if this person was here would I feel happy?
        Then you realise that you wouldn’t.be
        and you realise you don’t need another to be happy. I did know this because I’ve been on my own for big swathes of time in between boyfriends but this stuff goes farther about looking for an authority figure when you don’t need one because you are your own.

        It all comes down to outcome independence again ..it all ties in.
        It’s not about denying you have feelings but it’s managing them in a completely different way.
        And when I read your post Windstorm I was like oh my goodness…WS does this!.
        Wonderful. ‘Tis good stuff.
        It is to be truly free… Because it is to be free inside. As you say it takes a little practice I think once you’ve got it under your belt youre pretty much invincible.. I will just have to be careful in the interim!

        Haha.
        Stay happy my friend.🌹🐾

      • WS, I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again…I wish I could be more like you when I grow up!

        You mentioned that newborn babies live in the moment and learn not to as they grow. Dogs are the perfect example of living in the moment and just being happy. I do hope that one day I will be the person they see in me.

      • MB
        That’s true about dogs living in the moment. In fact that’s true of most all animals other than humans! I’ve always felt if I were to be any other animal I would be a dog – probably a German Shepherd. 😊

      • WS, I’m curious why a German Shepherd? I thought you were a French speaking dog. If I could be any other animal, I would be a unicorn, obviously. Ha ha

      • MB
        I teach all my animals French. Their species or breed is irrelevant.

        I have a special affinity to GSDogs. My mother kept a large kennel when I was a child and I identified with and spent more time with the dogs than I did with humans.

        GSDogs are strong, highly intelligent and fiercely protective. They’re large enough to not take much flak from anyone/anything. You can’t just dominate them. You must earn their respect and convince them to cooperate with you. And they are loyal until death and loving toward all infants of any species.

      • Windstorm

        Aww… A German shepherd.
        I have a big dog and little dog.
        Little and large haha ..

        Aw… If you come back as a German Shepherd let me always be a human owner and find you…haha…

        I will take care of you.. take you to the seaside and splash in the sea, walk on the beach and through Green Fields..
        Feed you all kinds of tasty things brush your hair.. sing to you stroke you talk to you.. tuck you up in your cosy bed with all your fleeces on cold winter’s nights with your teddy bear..

        Make special places on summer afternoons in my garden where you can sit comfortably taking iin all the sun and summer breezes.

        And when you are old I will be careful with your tender bones.. slow down for you watch you and be vigilant to your needs.
        and when the time comes for you to close your eyes finally and forever I will be with you.. you will be in my arms and I will look into your eyes and thank you for being my friend.

        That’s how it is for my dog companions.

        Later in your memory I will have a framed photo of you and fresh flower nearby and light a candle on darker nights that glows on your picture. Because that is the way I continue to love my dog companions who are no longer with me and now at rest.
        ❤️💞

        That is why I call myself DebbieWolf.
        Alpha leader. .carer and protector .. always loving the paws.

        I had a rescue cat once too… I integrated her in with the dogs.. until she passed away…I had found her with a broken tail and with paint thrown over her… bony and thin.. I’d never had a cat before.
        But all I needed was my heart.to turn all this around.

        I guard my heart ferociously when I need to…Admittedly I don’t always put my hackles up as soon as I should!
        but I guess this is another lesson I can learn from HG and the dogs! Haha.

        I integrated her…the cat…in after veterinary treatment etc. I called her Lois Lane. Due to my like of superheroes and co. Haha.

        She too has passed away…now at rest.💞

      • MB

        What a fantastic reminder!
        About how dogs live in the moment.
        Talk about Hidden in Plain Sight!
        I have 2 rescue dogs.
        I’ve had 4 dogs personally over the years… My eldest lived to be 20.. I adopted him at the age of 14…..and I have grown up since a babe in arms with family dogs.

        The dog Whisperer who I’m a big fan of often says things along the lines of how dogs can teach us things. Like how to relax and how to be in the moment but I’ve not watched him for ages.

        It’s interesting how sometimes we need to have repeats in life until things become our new imprints.

        I have literally got coaches with me at all times about living in the moment!!!

        Did I rescue the dogs?
        Or are they rescuing me?

        Much love xx
        🐾

    • Windstorm,

      I love every word you said. I feel the same way. Happiness is not tangible, It’s not something we have to find. It’s something we have to open ourselves up to because it lives inside of us.

      • Mercy,
        “Happiness is not tangible, It’s not something we have to find. It’s something we have to open ourselves up to because it lives inside of us. “

        Very true!

    • Hi Windstorm,

      I was having the same thought regarding how HG’s point here is not always valid. Yes, for some it is, but not for all. We can help avoid or reduce feeling in these negative ways by connecting with our true self. In yoga, there are 5 klesas that cover our true self. You can think of them as shells/coverings. Klesas are the root of suffering and cause us to mistake the mind, body, or senses with the true self. Klesas affect us both mentally & emotionally and are woven deep into the mind. We can help identify with our true self through meditation…sitting quietly, and I find moving meditation helps as well. Yoga & gardening are two moving meditations that I love. Connecting with the two elemental components of reality…one) purusa, spirit, characterized by truth, clarity, and joy and 2) prakriti, matter, which includes the material world, nature, and the human mind. Connecting breath, body, and mind help us connect with our true self. I apologize if I’m not communicating this well, it’s complex, and I might not be eloquent enough to explain.

      Call me an optimist if you will, but I believe we all have a true self and it’s just not something that narcissists are in touch with. They have conditioned their minds and have built up extremely hard and thick klesas. Maybe these klesas are covering their empathy, joy, and love. Maybe it’s not missing but deeply buried.

      Karma yoga (the yoga of action) also helps me connect with my true self. It is the discipline of selfless action on the path to spiritual liberation. It can help eliminate fear, focus your mind, and give meaning to life.

      I am definitely a work in progress, don’t always make the right decisions or act wisely, but these philosophies have helped me come a bit closer to my true self. I find it comforting to remember that my truest self is not my emotions (which admittedly is not an easy thing to do).

      Again, my apologies for the long post and if it sounds a bit convoluted…I am having a hard time putting these thoughts into words. Your comment inspired me to try…your comment was very insightful.

      S.

      • S
        Thank you for your response. I thought it was clearly expressed. I have never studied Yoga extensively but I believe I understand what you are describing. Buddhism has many similar beliefs. Kleasas sound a lot like what I would call illusions or traps that keep us from right thinking.

        I enjoy moving meditation, too. I associate it with Zen, but that is just a name. I do it more cleaning or doing any simple repetitive jobs.

        I believe that I use what you call “Karma Yoga” whenever I need to do something difficult or that I dread. I think of it as a focus that allows me to rise above my fears, focus my mind on the situation and carry through with the necessary actions.

        I have read much about the concept of the “true self.” My own thinking is that my true self is simply a connection or conduit to the divine. Everything else is just constantly changing illusions.

        Thank you again for your thoughtful response. We are all “works in progress” and reading your comment this morning has been a very good start to my day!

      • K
        Very true. We are self-fueling and it gives us tremendous freedom in our behavior.

    • I think my comment makes more sense if I list the klesas.

      The five klesas are:

      Avidya – the base or root klesa which all the others are related to. This is misperceptions. Looking directly at something but seeing something else.

      Asmita which literally translates to “inability to smile” …overidentifying with objects not of our core self. An example would be basing our self esteem on material possessions. Or basing our self esteem on things we can do physically, books, we’ve read, who our friends are…you get the idea.

      Raga- excessive desire, craving… repeating the same things over and over that once created a pleasant sensation or good feeling.

      Dvesa- aversion…negative feeling toward someone or something which once caused me discomfort.

      Abhinvesa- insecurity, fear of loss, fear of death

      • S,

        Sorry to jump in your conversation but this is very interesting to me. I screenshot your comment and want to read more about it. I try to practice mindfulness daily through meditation but I’ve gotten out of the habit and need to be more disciplined. I feel so much better when I feel connected with myself.

      • No need to apologize, Mercy…I’m glad you joined in! II fall out of practice too. A lot. But then something (like this conversation!) makes me stop, take a deep breath, and begin again. It doesn’t matter how many times we start over, it only matters that we do start over.

      • Whenever I weed the garden in summer I will now think of it as doing Hot Yoga. I might have to ramp down the swearing and the throwing of tools though if I try to pass that off on anyone else.

      • NarcAngel
        😝😝😝
        Thank you so much for the laugh! I really needed it!!
        Have a great weekend, friend!

    • Me neither Windstorm.
      Thank you for sharing your sentiments and wisdom.
      Being present to the world around you is YOUR power…. one of many I’m sure.
      We are collectively conditioned from almost birth to be anywhere but the present.
      Beautifully said and I’m sure many agree.

    • Thank you for the kind words, Windstorm. Quite right, Buddhism is very similar, In many cases just different words or names to describe things. We can turn almost anything into moving meditation and karma yoga. Perfect example from you of what you feel is your karma yoga. Anything we do while giving 100 percent of our effort & love, with no attachment to the outcome or need for recognition. Karma yoga is moving meditation.

    • My apologies for running on, but just one more thought…I agree with your definition of “true self” I also believe that every living thing is connected. There is nothing that is separate from the whole. I am you, and I am HG, it is the illusions that keep us feeling separate. That is why I believe these illusions or klesas are covering a narcissists true self. That it is buried not missing. How can narcissists be separate? HG is you, and HG is me. I’m sure he would beg to differ (and im sure others would as well) but I don’t see how it could be any different. What he is doing to others is what he is doing to himself. Same as anybody’s actions. The beauty we see in others is a reflection of ourselves and the same with ugliness. This is obviously oversimplified, but my little brain won’t manage much more than this right now.

      • S
        I agree. Especially if you believe that all our true selves are a connection to the divine, then certainly narcs are no different. I believe we only perceive differences because we are at different points on the path. I also understand that this will seem totally non-sensical to most people.

      • Windstorm and S

        I understand both of your views and agree. We are all connected, IMO there is no such thing as evil and good, the decision one makes to do with the energy with in them makes it good or evil. Within the darkness there is light, within the light there is darkness. I believe balance is needed for growth, yet attachment holds us back. Attachment to memories of the past or imagination of what we desire our future to be instead of living in the moment. When I say imagination of our future we put so much focus on it we forget the moment we our living.

        A good man can do much evil just as an evil man can do much good. When it comes down to things and all is stripped away one can see that which connects us all.

        I have always seen things differently, a few yrs back I died and miraculously I was revived. I experienced something that changed me even more, It enhanced how I experience everything around me.

      • Twilight, would you mind sharing about this experience?
        I’d understand if you prefer not to.

      • Twilight
        “attachment holds us back. Attachment to memories of the past or imagination of what we desire our future to be instead of living in the moment. “

        This is so true! Goodness knows how many – months if not years – of my life I’ve missed out on because I was worrying about the past or the future and never paid attention to what was happening in the present!

      • S, I believe the same as you. All living things are connected by the same life energy. I envision all life (plant, animal, everything) like drops in the ocean. Each individual energy creating the whole. Where there is seperation, there is no truth. We are all part of the same ocean. I am part of you and you are part of me. Energy can neither be created, nor destroyed. It only changes forms. That’s why I reject the idea of death being the end. Period. End of story. The energy no longer powers this body (shell). It has changed in form but cannot disappear. I don’t subscribe or identify with any religion and have formed these views based on my own observations and feelings. To me, it really is that simple. I get caught up in my own day to day crap, but when I take opportunities like this to reflect, I realize just how small I am and stop taking myself so damn seriously!

      • Wonderfully said, MB…there have been so many lovely and inspiring comments written here! Thank you, ladies (and gentlemen if it applies) . I’ll echo Windstorm in saying that reading all of your comments has started my day off right!

      • Twilight
        I really like what you wrote. It makes sense. We have darkness and light and we need to strive for balance. We all have a shadow but some people don’t acknowledge it. I think some people are afraid of their dark side.

      • K
        I agree. I think people think that if they embrace their dark side that it will take over, but it does not. If you have empathy it will always return and override the darkness. Just as we can put ourselves in the shoes of other victims, if you briefly and temporarily put yourself in the shoes of darkness you have an advantage that you can use as protection against those who would cause you harm. You will not stay in darkness because you have not been wired for that and can only visit. My belief anyway.

      • NA
        Although it is dark, I can see everything with complete clarity. The shoes of darkness have shown me the Path of Light. His shadows are seductive and I feel safe here but you are right; I can only visit because now I carry the light and that is where I belong.

      • K

        Thank you.

        If a person understands how to destroy they understand how to create. If one understand how to heal a life they understand how to take a life.

        Evil can do good

        Good can do evil

      • You are welcome Twilight
        I agree; destruction and creation are part of life’s natural rhythms. And good can do evil and evil can do good.

  10. Hello? Wake up call!!
    Narcissists are the reason we’re dreading the day ahead, they’re the reason this is a cruel world.

    You became your abuser and all you accomplish is abusing us. Nothing else that you accomplish really matters to you, only attention and abuse gives you pleasure.