Hark the Somatic Narc


(To the tune of Hark the Herald Angels Sing)


Narc, the somatic loud does sing,

Returning from his latest fling,

Sexual conquests he finds wild,

Now it’s your turn to be defiled

Turgid all his erections rise,

With a blue pill that’s no surprise.


He wants your body to proclaim

You are the best I cannot complain

Narc the somatic he likes to swing

Sexual diseases he will bring

Narc, the highest heaven he assured,

Narc, with gifts he can’t afford,

Last in time behold him come,

Whilst he spanks you on the bum,

Exposed in flesh the god you’ll see,

Gathering fuel so expertly,

Pleased as punch he starts to swell,

He’s steamier than Emmanuel,

Narc, the seducer here to bring

Sexual conquest is his thing.

Hail the ripped,buff gym bunny,

Hail the displays of his money,

Gifts galore to you he brings,

Even one which often stings,

Looks so good you’ll want to cry,

See that twinkle in his eye,

Born to cheat online he’ll surf,

Bring you crashing down to earth

Narc the somatic with shiny ring,

Hoping to him you’ll always cling.

55 thoughts on “Hark the Somatic Narc

  1. Nika says:

    Bring on the holidays! I shall sit on his lap, and read to him my…loooooooooong list…

    1. I ❤️ HG Tudor says:

      Ask him if he wants some nookie instead of a cookie. Ask the big guy to stop by my place for little cookies and milf.

  2. Chihuahuamum says:

    This pic always turns me off ugghh overly muscular men i find a turn off. I can honestly say somatics are not what ive gravitated to. I fall for the quieter sweet guys that makes me laugh but as ive learned those types can be narcs as well!

  3. Caroline R says:

    Please tell that man to stop holding his package.

    And to put some clothes on.

    1. NarcAngel says:

      Caroline R
      I quite enjoy the view. Especially given that it can only be viewed and not heard.

      1. Caroline R says:

        Ha ha!
        Ok, the nudie package holding can continue.
        Merry Christmas!

  4. I ❤️ HG Tudor says:

    My guy has been giving me a hard time for always being on my phone. It has gotten to the point where if I hear him walking into the room, I quickly put my phone down. Not that I am doing anything wrong. I am just reading. But he makes me feel guilty.

    So ysterday we were in line at the store and I was on my phone reading Narcsite. And he said “what are you reading now.”

    Let me show you. And I showed him this picture. Ha ha ha. He had it coming.

    Perfect timing.

    Now he wants to know what is so fascinating about that guy (HG Tudor)? Lol

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Tell him to book the rest of the year off.

      1. NarcAngel says:

        Hahaha. He’ll need it.

  5. Bubbles🍾 says:

    Dear Mr Tudor,
    You’re definitely on Santa’s “naughty” list Mr Tudor
    Even though that was great 😂
    Luv Bubbles xx 🤶🏻

  6. pcsands says:

    another gift of insight into the world of a narc. your writings have helped me greatly to disengage from the cycle i have lived. thank you

    1. HG Tudor says:

      You are welcome.

  7. Jess says:

    Hahahahaha! Jolly good! Is that your hand in the picture?!

  8. NarcAngel says:

    I’ve given thought and apologize for comments past and present that I have made about your mother.

    1. HG Tudor says:

      You’ve no need to apologise.

  9. foolme1time says:

    And the season has begun! Happy Holidays to you all! 😘 🎅🏻

    1. NarcAngel says:

      And to you as well.

  10. Joyascending says:

    Hahaha, Nice, HG! BTW is that you in the picture? (One can only dream…) Thank you for your wisdom and humor!

    1. HG Tudor says:


  11. HappyTimesAhead says:

    👀 family photo album?

    1. NarcAngel says:


      Hahaha. Yeah – and thats just his mom.

      1. K says:

        Ha ha ha…

  12. Christopher Jackson says:

    All of this is true,
    I see all the different narcs thanks to you,
    I have finally figured out that it’s not me,
    For alot of the cadre are to dumb to see,
    If it wasnt for you I will still be cast to sea,
    How I blamed myself yes…me,
    I vow to keep listening to a man that goes by HG,
    Sincerely your favorite reader is me!

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Ha ha.

  13. Anne says:

    I’m addicted to your posts Mr.Tudor (a little fuel…). Thanks for them!

    1. HG Tudor says:

      You are welcome, use them to your advantage.

      1. Anne says:

        Is it possible to identify a narcissist and still feel atracted by this dark side, the the dark adventure, the dark emotions…It’s like being alive…

        1. HG Tudor says:


      2. Caroline says:

        Anne, the answer to your question is yes, and that’s why we’re in rehab here.
        Especially, while we’re on the subject, when they are handsome and beautifully proportioned, crackling with wild masculine energy, and have a sexy voice, and are articulate, and are pulling you into their arms as soon as they’ve met you, and ooh, can’t breathe….

        Did I mention the answer to your question is yes?

    2. pariiss1010 says:


  14. mommypino says:

    I can’t believe I had a major crush on a Somatic narc. Ew ew ew.

    1. NarcAngel says:

      Better than a skinny, pasty, Mid Victim. Ewwwwww to infinity.

      1. Sweetest Perfection says:

        NA, when you start getting bombarded with pictures of his abs and flexed biceps, you also react like ewww, believe me. I wasn’t aware at first because we were “friends” but then came the photo album. Hilarious.

        1. NarcAngel says:

          Sorry. I told my brother to stop doing that.

      2. mommypino says:

        Ha ha! What were we thinking?!

    2. Sweetest Perfection says:

      I feel the same, mommypino. What was I thinking!?

      1. pariiss1010 says:

        Only girls are aloud to pose desperately in front of the mirror ,phone in hand..the divine queens as we are..if u have a penis and u do this..u should switch to vagina sweeties

      2. Liberated says:

        You weren’t. You were feeling. Looking back, he has no substance, is not my intellectual equal, nor is he witty, humorous or well read.

        He does have beautiful eyes that stare straight in to you and he uses that fully. To the point he wouldn’t even put on his glasses before bed. He also has a beautiful smile (that looks very similar to mine, numerous people have commented we look vaguely alike).

        Plus the non stop attention. The way he made you feel like the only girl, the only person in the world. Sound familiar to anyone?

  15. Lori says:

    Now that is funny and clever!

    Are all Narcs irresponsible with money and credit or would you most likely see that with a lesser?

    Mr. Leaser often bragged about money yet lived in a very modest place and used a family members credit to make a big purchase which I thought very strange claiming hex get a better interest rate

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Not all are irresponsible.

      1. Alexissmith2016 says:

        I like the ones who are

  16. Kathy says:

    You are hilarious. Adore you and happy holidays! (Even though you are a Scrooge and never happy)

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Thank you. I’m no Scrooge. I may not be happy,true, but nor am I unhappy

      1. Kathy says:

        Ok you may be no Scrooge but I seriously doubt you would want the fuel associated with serving food at a soup kitchen on Christmas Day!

  17. ifonlymommy says:

    Effin blue pill 🙄. Maybe you should write this into a song 😂. Do you have a piano? You have a gift with verse and rhyme. Did that make you ego swell?

    Don’t you ever wonder if all of this comes from an underlying pain? Maybe something when you were so young you don’t remember. A chemical imbalance or birth trauma. Maybe the ego grew and empathy faded to protect you from something. Something you weren’t/aren’t strong enough to face. Idk. Just a thought. It’s all so strange.

  18. lisa says:


    1. NarcAngel says:

      C’mon Lisa!
      You know you wanna spin that box.

      1. lisa says:


  19. Sweetest Perfection says:

    HAHAHA!!! Love it! You just gave me an idea for the perfect anonymous Christmas card for that special person…

  20. .💜. says:

    👏👏👏Bravo, HG!!! You are brilliant! I Love it!! ❤😁😘

  21. NarcAngel says:

    Haha. Christmas has begun with HG bearing gifts.

    1. MB says:

      HG, might we get a Dolus Malus article for Christmas?

      1. lisa says:

        HG will be too busy christmas shopping , putting his tree up, dressing as Santa for all the children and no doubt carol singing every where he goes

        1. MB says:

          Lisa, ha ha

        2. windstorm says:


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