The Narcissistic Icicles – No. 1



This is a meme which encapsulates the mind set of the narcissist towards you.


34 thoughts on “The Narcissistic Icicles – No. 1”

  1. HG, if you went NC after the discard or escape and the narcissist tried to catch your attention in passive way, for example by changing his bio or a cover photo on his social media (something with double meaning that only his former partner could understand and relate to) and after a year he starts dating (new IPPS) and he changes this to something neutral – is it a genuine need to be dedicated to his new IPPS? Something a normal person would do “well I am with someone new now, I want to be 100% faithful also in emotional way”? And thats why he delete this?

    1. 1. You are not No Contact if you are still looking at the narcissist’s social media to see what the bio or cover photo is.
      2. The shift to something neutral coinciding with the appointment of a new IPPS is entirely consistent because we are dedicated to the IPPS at that point as it is the golden period.

  2. Hi HG! I’ve a question. I’ve been knowing a narcissist during a few months and I escaped when I realized something was wrong with him and started the searching of information. I stopped all the contact with him but we still are in a common Whatsapp group. I think that he doen’t know well that he is a narcissist and I would like to say him in a passive-agressive way that I know who he is. Would you recomend me to put in this group a link to your blog? Or better don’t do it?

  3. Yes, you will be in my heart for ever. Because I love all you narcs. No matter how angry or upset I will get, in the end I will love you still. Because I know you have a disorder and because you are a human being. We all struggle in our own way ❤

  4. Never say always…

    I don’t know if I can completely buy this “empath” stuff. This is mainly because I’m not sure I have a heart in the first place.

    What I do know is that I have a deep, deep wound in my body. It’s an aching emptiness in my chest and in my gut.

    I don’t have “empathy;” rather, I have “empty.”

    During the golden period, your kind fills this void for me. More accurately, you and I work together to distract me from feeling that painful pit. I do it by focusing on you, while devaluing and discarding myself. You do it via your smoke and mirrors.

    Then, when you go, when the smoke dissipates and the mirrors crack, I’m left all alone again with no one to focus on but myself.

    You may think the resultant pain that I feel is about the “devaluation” and the discard.” I certainly thought it was. To some extent it is.

    But the real deep pain is not the pain of losing any one of your kind. It’s just that awful ache of emptiness resurfacing again.

    I can no longer afford to avoid this ache. I can no longer devalue and discard myself in order to be in pseudo-relationship that only serves to distract me from my reality.

    I’m ready now to face my pain, to process it. This might mean that I will feel even worse before I feel better. I’m ready for that.

    And I’m ready to never need your kind again.

    (Thank you for your blog, Mr. Tudor. You do a great service here. I don’t think I could have gotten to the above realization without having read your inside information in recent weeks.)

      1. Are you still with Kim or bringing a new girlfriend? Or just yourself to the Christmas family gathering?

          1. Clarece, I think we both know Kim is a former IPPS at this point. If she’s still his primary, you would read about it in the Guinness Book of World Records!

          2. Indeed. I was in devaluation for decades. But then Pretzel’s a cerebral anchor.

          3. MB
            Hadn’t really thought about it. I guess so. He’s never been in an intimate relationship with anyone else that I know of. But I was thinking about before I divorced him. We’d been together 34 years.

          4. So here’s my next question then MB. When Kim was the primary in the golden period, HG would reference that the immediate ex, Andrea would be the source of lots of his negative fuel. If Kim is now the most recent ex, is Andrea truly discarded, shelved indefinitely or put out to pasture? And is Kim now the providing the most negative fuel to HG?
            I’m not trying to be a nosy Parker. I still learn the most hearing about how HG actually interacts.
            If Kim is still in the golden period, then it’s been about 3 years which is a record for HG too.

          5. Let’s see how I do: As we know, nobody is ever “put out to pasture”. Andrea and all former IPPSs are subject to hoovers based on a HT (I’m sure Andrea appreciates that Clarece. Ha ha) and the HEC criteria being met. Kim isn’t enjoying the GP at present as evidenced by HGs comment. She is in devaluation which is providing him with most of his fuel (negative). He is using his extensive network of IPPSs and NISSs along with the other dollops here and there to fill in the rest. He is currently in a top secret tropical location sans Kim in full-on seduction mode.

          6. Yeah, HG isn’t applying that suntan lotion by himself in his tropical hideaway. Someone is enjoying the most magical time of the year right now.

  5. This is why you should throw away gifts or any mementos from the narc ex because when they see that you still have it, they get giddy thinking that it’s because you’re still holding on to the feelings and memories you had for them. Don’t give them that satisfaction after everything that they did.

    1. Agreed..i had almost written and collevted a book of my own thoughts.feelings.bad days.good one point resembled the opposite of the good book..then one day.a bad day the fury of realize the collection met the bottom of a stinky fucking first reaction i did..trash the memories..theyll evil reminders of what happens to men when they never get laid..yes..eventually they go mad.and took the best name the accuser had once told them from begining..we discovered the selfish small dicked ones who refer themselves as male narks long before..they just took the name before we could tell the world.making people feel lower then themselves because we..the strong.certain ones in the end are beating..narcs are already they will never be heartless..anyone else care to play the ‘poor me ‘ so bloody bored card’.human nature.every girl wants a different guy..every guy wants that girl.nothing is solid.theres no of or but..always an eventual wonder of something undiscovered

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